Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5594. page
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IM A VIRGIN ROBOT AND A CUTE GIRL IS COMING OVER RIGHT NOW AND SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!!! WE TRIED TO HAVE SEX A FEW DAYS AGO BUT I WAS SO NERVOUS I COULD NOT GET HARD. WHAT DO I DO?????? I JUST NEED MY DICK TO GET HARD AND STAY HARD.
foreplay. ask her to touch and suck u off too
Dude, I get hard the moment a girl mentions the idea of sex suggestively. You're getting your chance, so try being optimistic for once.
happened to me the first couple of times, I didn't feel consciously nervous so I'm not sure what it was. Eventually it just stopped being an issue
holy macaroni robots dabbing is fucking FANTASTIC
if you haven't tried dabbing yet then don't wait any longer and get on that shit pronto.
>>26314480
Can you explain whatever it is your referring to is?
>>26314502
TODAYS LESSON, IS MULTIPLE ORGASMS
doesnt exist in my country
sucks desu
What's the edgiest music you listen to?
merzbow
satanic warmaster
kristallnacht
peste noire
fanisk
any NSBM i guess
>>26313952
because i'm not 14 and into metal anymore
hundreds? thousands? millions? BILLIONS??
WW3 Will be epic. Childless men and women will be drafted.
Hopefully and likely less than 50,000. But possibly it could be a billion+.
all the neets as benefits will be cut to 0 and Daddies gonna get conscripted so no income = no food unless you work for it
Matched with this titty monster, how do i get her to have sex with me?
>>26313674
She is probably full of STDs.
>>26313696
I literally do not care.
Hit her up for great sex, clearly stated in the picture. Say, "Hey we matched, just hitting you up for good times and great sex!"
>stacy at university mentions she loves Japanese culture, wants to do a year abroad in Japan
>asked her what animes she likes
>asked her if she likes Jpop
>asked her if she started studying her Hiragana
>she literally never heard of any of those things
>"Like sushi and horror movies like the Ring xD"
She was probably just into you & wanted to keep the convo going
>>26313523
implying women want to hear what you have to say, ever
Should have asked if she likes bukkake.
control+f, cringe not matched. Anyways:
>be me in 3rd grade or some time around then
>learn about camouflage one day
>wearing a green shirt
>thought that I would disappear if I curled into a ball on the grass and pulled my shirt over my body
>do that for about 40 minutes at recess
>the entire fucking time
>several times
>in front of the busy jungle gym
>nobody says anything about it until the proctor asks me what I am doing one day
>moment of realization
>a bunch of kids begin chasing me around, nagging me about it
>have to hide in bathroom stalls until they get tired and stop
If some others pitch in, I'll post a couple more.
I guess I'll post another
>sixth grade
>minding my own business in class
>teacher gets everyone's attention and tells us that we're having student government elections
>I could give a rat's ass
>teacher then tells us that everyone will be called up and must give a 3 minute speech that day
>I'm in shock, begin visibly sweating a twitching
>hoping I'll be called up last so I can plagarize from everyone else
>nope, called up second
>end up not speaking for 90% of those 3 minutes
>parrot the person before me about how I'll put out a suggestion box for the other 10%
>quickly go sit back down
>one girl claps for me out of pity, everyone else is silent
>>26313437
>be horny
>start talking to a somewhat attractive girl in high school over a messaging up
>say something along the lines of "i had a dream where i had sex with you"
fucking
>>26313720
>messaging app*
Any of you ass faggots ex fatties? What was your diet plan and how did it work out for you
>>26313426
Lost 110lbs, counted every calorie
i was a great big fatty for a long time until i just got sick of it one day and started starving myself.
starvation really worked for me. i went from 190 lbs. to 120 lbs. within a year.
I just ate lots of eggs and greens and cottage cheese, counted calories, and biked every night for 20 minutes or more. Really try to get your heart pumping and your muscles burning when you exercise.
I lost about 50 lbs doing that over the course of a year. The only hard part is making sure you never stop trying. People like the girl in the OP pic binge and then just give up because "it's ruined" or something. If you fuck up and binge eat once, you have to go right back to what you were doing with your diet and exercise, and it will all be fine.
if the progress pic triggers people, the mod will probably delete it and ban me anyway
Come on in, take a seat, have a drink. Share some feels, tell some stories. Go ahead and pick a song for the jukebox. You're among friends here, Anon.
>>26313231
Do you have soft drinks?
I'll take a Mikes hard lemonade and a bud light lime
>>26313282
Of course my friend. What do you want?
I need your help /r9k/
this happened to me yesterday
>it's night and i'm in bed
>gf tells me she's gonna take a quick shower before heading to bed
>think nothing of it and try to go to sleep
>minutes later i hear her phone vibrate
>it's a text from a guy asking her when they can meet again to fuck
>i hear my gf getting out of the shower so i quickly put the phone back and wait for her to get into bed
>once she's in bed i pretend to be a cuck and ask her who "jason" is without mentioning anything about the text
>she says she doesn't know who i'm talking about
>tell her about the text
>she tells me they probably got the wrong number
what the fuck do i do /r9k/?
is she lying to me?
Probably
You had two choices and you can return if you wish:
Pretend it's nothing & start fucking other girls
Break up & be alone until you find a new one
>>26313245
i think im going to go with option 2 i just can't stand the idea of a gf cheating behind my back while i'm away at work
>>26313215
>G
>F
INTO A GRAVE WITH YOU
this shit belongs on /adv/
out now
Any southern robots on tonight?
Yeah I'm drunk on cheap beer & listening to sabbath
Howdy
>>26312875
South Carolina reporting in.
>tfw Spanish Moss and Palm trees
Shit posting from TN.
wholeheartedly expecting a whole lot of "HAHA NO" sorta responses, but I am genuinely interested here - talk..
im not happy, wont get sleep, have work in 4 hours and have no friends.
I hope you have a great day though
I have no fucking clue. I look at the pieces of my life and wonder how can I even begin evaluating whether I am happy or not.
>>26312802
yeah, whats up?
i am just that original
Any robots watching the Super Bowl by themselves tomorrow? I was thinking about getting a Discord group set up so we could watch together, if anyone's interested.
>>26312587
Nah I find football incredibly boring. I plan to go grocery shopping while the game is on. Should be quite nice out with all the football fags watching the ape olympics.
>>26312611
ok so do you want to discord info or naw
>>26312587
Might be interested, but it doesn't look like you're going to find much interest on here.
If you are one that welcomes refugees, you are literally the cancer of the world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=382njADcWvE&t=301
I hope it's bait, but I'll reply anyways.
Why? What do you consider so bad about taking in refugees? Is it national pride? The idea that we are superior to everybody else for reasons? Are you afraid of what is different?
To me, it just makes no sense. Many countries in Europe actually need the refugees because they're lacking many workers in specific domains like construction sites or medic assistants, since pretty much none of the local citizen want to fill in those spots. Also, refugees are much more useful/beneficial to a society than homeless or jobless people (purely from a financial point of view; of course NEETs motivate others to participate in this capitalist system).
But yeah, I'd honestly want to understand why refugees are not wanted.
>Murica fucks up their area
>EuCucks sell the arabs and everyone else in that fucking area guns
>Oh no why are so many people running away from their country
>Oh no why are so many shit people hiding themself as refugee since we dont check the borders
I wonder why
people have a right to travel freely, I welcome refugees because I don't put my feelings before human freedom like right wingers do
Fuck off if you are a khv
Let's talk about self improvement cause we aren't doomed to loneliness yet
So let's talk
Girls
Hobbies
Talents
Job
Mental illness
And what you're doing to improve
Delete this thread.
Original
>>26312290
>Let's talk about self improvement
start by fucking off of /r9k/
>>26312322
Not everyone wants to wallow in self pit
Some people want to do something with their lives and put their lives back on track
