Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1287. page
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>tfw asshole always feels dirty and itchy
>>29477446
>tfw you grew a second asshole from an ingrown hair
>>29477446
Wipe your ass after you take a shit and wash yourself every day you fucking retard
>scratch asshole
>dingle berries
Do you have a huge brain?
>>29477404
I have a tiny brain but a fuck huge forehead that makes me look like o have been balding since I was 12
>>29477520
holy fuck I know this feel senpai
it felt like magic back in eighth grade when I learned to blowdry my hair and keep my bangs nice so I didn't look like some bizarre pale, sickly brainiac figure
then I just looked like a faggy pale sickly scene kid
>tfw you can't do that anymore because you need a respectable grown ass man haircut for job interviews
>look fucking awful with any kind of haircut outside of bangs anyway
fucking kill me
>>29477563
Oh fuck yeah this exactly.
I know people who shave their head because they don't care anymore but honestly I would just end up looking like eggman for a few months. Maybe if I can have my face round out I can shave my head and dropp the teenage style.
Why do STDs have to be a thing? I just want to have my boipussy pounded by random older men and their big sweaty cocks but I'm terrified of contracting something. I have to be a raging faggot and I don't even get tp enjoy the good parts
All you need is to make sure they wear a condor. It's not fucking hard anon
>>29477564
not being a faggot would be pretty good too
>>29477564
>wear a condor
Very kinky.
Who here is drunk and alone right now?
I know I am.
>>29477345
Pretty drunk, but normie sorry. I like bears :3
BUMPAROOJAMON
>>29477345
>drunk
10 beers in
>alone
in the basement of my senile grandma's house
drunk and alone together friendo
Fuck off poo in loo
Fembots please post a picture of what you consider an ideal boyfriend.
Fembots what would it take for you to date one of us robots?
My ideal boyfriend would have to be my current one
>funny
>smart as fuck (it scares me sometimes)
>sweet
>caring
>nerdy
>tall
>great hair
>amazing beard
>kinky
Honestly, what more could I ask for?
I shouldn't even be looking at this thread.
Rate my Fallout 4 survival roleplay.
i have a whole shelf of these in case normies chimp out and go full ww3.
Tuna is 10/10. I get it for cheap at costco
>>29477362
nice, how much is it? i love eating out of cans, coz cooking is boring
I am very stoned robots. I am looking through all this shit and am realizing how completely toxic it is. When you spend all day on here reading all this bullshit, it drips into your psyche and changes you. over time you become something youre not, or werent supposed to be.
From frequenting this board so often since I was underaged in early 2010 to now, at age 22, I can say that along with weed, /r9k/ and 4chan in general has been a huge contributer to the downfall of my life. Im perverted, sex starved, lonely, drug addicted. I hate women with a passion, have no aspirations, living on my own but with no job or education, sitting around every day getting high and filling my head with porn and this filth while i sit around and watch the days go by
I'm glad you realised consuming won't make you happy. You still have lots of time. Eat some yummy avocado and go do what you were out on this earth to do.
>>29477254
Remember when r9k had fun threads and everyone used to call each other rowboats?
>>29477328
arcanine
yeah I was gonna make a thread about that too actually, wanted to see who was still around here from when those first couple tripfags started coming around, fuck I cant remember the names but she always just talked about how she was a girl and made period threads then got doxed.
>be me, using public toilet
>piss up onto the roof
>it's splashing everywhere, going in other stalls
>feelsgoodman
>walk out of stall
>other dude walks out of stall next to me
i just pissed on a dude
turns out hes like the president of the small area i was in
>>29477228
>>piss up onto the roof
WTF? How?
>>29477228
>piss up onto the roof
you wotm8?
I'm sure you get the death penalty for this in Singapore
>Gotta shit really hard
>almost there
>a cricket jump out of your ass crack
like what the fuck man
Had a similar thing happen to me last week. Was taking a shit and found a spider on my thigh under my shorts. I wonder how long it was there
>>29477219
>thicc teens
hnnnnnnnnnnnnng
>rioting in downtown
>realized that i have no female friends, despite what I thought and that any self esteem boost from not being one of those losers who don't talk to girls was completely null and void
Pretty radical day
Would you date a pre-op transwoman who passes to everyone you know? Assuming your personalities and lifestyles meshed well.
Also assuming she has a smaller, more feminine penis than you so you won't feel emasculated.
>>29477195
>small dick
No thanks. I want a whatever-the-alpha-term-for-trans-chicks is.
Staci? Kelly?
>>29477195
yeah I would
literally what I want
thanks
>>29477195
Yes I would. And I wouldn't even care if her dick was twice the size of mine as long as she would not want to fuck me with it.
What is /r9k/'s opinion on gingers?
They brew a good ale.
>>29477079
Only the females are acceptable
>>29477079
A nice petite ginger with big tits and a cute face is my dream girl.
You know, I've been thinking a lot lately, and I think a lot of my problems stem from society. I think my schizoaffective disorder is just the product of being disillusioned.
Everywhere we go, we're surrounded by filth. The gangbangers, the whores, and the other kinds of filth around me have finally hit me. It's driving me nuts. I sometimes feel sick when I go downtown because of what I see. It's disgusting. However, the degenerates are not to blame; it's the depravity of society. Our society is fucked and it's because there are too many people. Think about how life was before we got overpopulated. We had enough resources to go around, and nature was still intact. The world doesn't even resemble planet earth anymore. I don't have a problem. It's society that made me this way. Does anyone else feel like this?
>>29477002
>schizoaffective disorder
Shut the fuck up. This is a meme illness.
The girl I started dating when she was 13 (almost 17 now) is pregnant, I am at no risk to my daughter.
How is this difficult to believe?
>>29477044
>being schizophrenic and bipolar at the same time is a "meme illness"
>tfw no sheltered bf
>>29476881
bitch I wouldnt even want you
SHUT THE FUCK UP WE ALL KNOW YOUR A GUY GO BACK TO YOUR YOAI PORN MANGA HOLY SHIT DUDE
>>29476881
>tfw no banana split bf
just lifting in general.
inb4 go back to /fit/
robot lifting is different than normie and chad lifting. We don't do it to impress roasties.
Fit is an r9k that lifts
T. /fitzen/
>>29476930
what circumference?
>>29476857
If anything lifting for any reason except for functional fitness (firemen, sportspeople) is absolutely shit.
It's a huge waste of time.
Questionable health benefits past the early stages.
Will do absolutely zero with regards to attractiveness overall unless you were previously at an extremely low weight (anorexia etc.)
It'll make you talk about it to others further alienating and make you a fundamentally boring person. Not to say this happens to everyone but most people seem to conflate lifting with personal improvement but it won't do shit but make you a muscly robot.
Look you have a limited time on this earth, don't fucking waste your at the gym reading shit on the phone in-between sets being bored out of your mind, but convincing yourself it'll make any difference in the long-term. If you really care about have a well developed body make sure you find something interesting to do that will achieve that as a secondary objective (hiking, rock climbing, other outdoorsy cancerous shit).
If you were a dog, how would you handle this situation?
>>29476762
I would nervously eat the bread bed, similar to what doggo is doing in pic
>>29476762
>>29476852
Aww that is so fucking CUTE look at him takin a cheeky little nibble
>this situation is scary
>but also delicious
