Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2742. page
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>tfw no extremely cute gf
>tfw will never know tfw extremely cute gf
What is even the point of living, bros?
There is none. Life fucking sucks.We should kill ourselves before it gets worse.
>>28657451
>tfw not an extremely cute gf
AAAAAAAAAAA I JUST WANT TO BE EXTREMELY QT
>>28657525
You are though.
No sad posts.
>ham sandwich, no crusts
>>28657446
This is offense, pIs remove.
>>28657446
>roast beef bagel sandwich
>>28657446
Wtf are you 10 or something
Does anyone else enjoy making themselves throw up?
It's a very surreal feeling, of both panic and thrill. Most people think of it as a horribly experience that should be avoided at all costs, but I think it's a great function of the human body!
If I ever have second thoughts on what I've eaten, it is very easy to expel it from my body at that very instant. Sometimes I like to eat a nice, big pizza all to myself. Once my tummy starts to feel upset, all it takes is two fingers and a toilet/bowl for instant relief! I play with my uvula a bit and up it comes!
It's also fun to see the different kinds of vomit you can make in your tummy! Lots of corn tortilla chips will make your puke stay clumped together, and you can make all sorts of combinations of food.
I hope you can learn about the joys of vomiting too!
nigga u bulimic
i can make myself throw up without sticking fingers in my throat
side effect from years of smoking i guess
>>28657407
It helps that I can hold my breath for a long time, but I have always found vomitting rather cathartic. I think I may eat a big meal and go for a run right now.
How do I stop cumming within a minute of sex or even fapping? It's become debilitating for me. It's like my prostate has a mind of its own.
NoFap or any sort of abstention hasn't helped me at all.
Condom. Also try drinking
>>28657398
Start on paxil or prozac, youll last hours.
Why can't you just go to the fucking doctor kid
Want to escape from the hell that is robothood?
ask a real life chad who has had and overcome autismo tendencies anything right here
I'm sure if i was horny enough and lonely enough, i would jerk off to that avocado
are girls worth it? my life is fine otherwise, i just dont spend any time looking after myself and thus wont get any. is there any reason to change or should i just say fuck it and enjoy all the other things life has to offer?
>>28657428
You definitely should take care of yourself, but not for girls. That's a big misconception I see on this website.
The internet is the world's greatest source of instant gratification and it robs people of their ability to enjoy other things, and brings you closer to a neutral existence.
You can live somewhat satisfied without taking care of yourself, but you will never be happy. You probably won't get that sad either, because your scope of experience is pretty narrow when you seek instant gratification. And when you take care of yourself you seek connections with others.
When you have real self esteem, and you seek out others, you will make real friends and girls will be a part of that. If your primary goal in self betterment is getting girls, then you won't get much better and you likely won't get girls. Just try to be better for yourself and you will be happy eventually.
1) ASL
2) Sexual orientation
3) Relationship status
4) Ethnicity
5) Do you have your own home?
6) Do your parents do your laundry?
7) Favorite...
a) sports
b) video games
c) Pokemon
d) animal
e) books
f) websites
g) 4chan boards
h) subreddits
i) films
j) animes
k) music
l) food/drink
8) Religious beliefs
9) Do you believe in the paranormal, eg. demons, dragons?
10) What is the closest to death you have been?
11) Have you ever physically hurt someone or yourself?
12) Do you know someone who died?
13) Have you ever left your home country?
14) Favorite memory
15) Are you a virgin? If not, when did you lose it?
16) Do you wear socks when you are at home?
17) Do you drink/smoke/do drugs?
18) How long have you been a 4chan user?
19) Do you use other imageboards?
20) If you could have one wish right now what do you wish for?
21) If you could be with one person right now who would you be with?
22) Where is somewhere you would love to travel to?
23) Dream job
24) Are you...
m) racist/sexist
n) a lolicon/shotacon
o) a or into furry/a brony
25) Interesting facts about yourself
>>>>soc
Sage
Get out my BOAAAAAAARDDDDDD REEEEEEEEEE3333EEEEE
1) 21/m/pa
2) anything 2d/ straight for 3d
3) never
4) euro
5) no
6) no
7) Favorite...
a) soccer
b) old platformers, sim/management, trpgs
c) duskull/octillery/shedinja/chatot
d) turtle
e) low fantasy, informative
f) news/tech sites, forums
g) /qst/:^)
h) no
i) old sitcoms, shitty late-night cartoons
j) have only ever gotten through lupin iii/ oregairu
k) alt rock, contemporary jazz, bluegrass
l) soups/cheeses, tea/water
8) none
9) not really
10) mountaineering trip, drought hit near the end of it, didn't drink water for about four days
11) not seriously
12) yes
13) yes
14) i don't remember events very well
15) yes
16) no
17) no
18) 2007
19) yes
20) a genuine passion or serious hobby
21) cute girl
22) iceland
23) dessert artist
24) Are you...
m) no
n) 2d only
o) no
25) i am currently wearing a royal blue robe and two (2) royal blue slippers
1) ASL
19/Male/English
2) Sexual orientation
Mostly strait, little bit gay.
3) Relationship status
Single
4) Ethnicity
White
5) Do you have your own home?
No
6) Do your parents do your laundry?
Half and half
7) Favorite...
a) sports
American Football
b) video games
Battlefront II, Animal Crossing, RuneScape and Windwaker.
c) Pokemon
Sandslash
d) animal
Bear
e) books
>
f) websites
>
g) 4chan boards
/r9k/ /sp/
h) subreddits
Roadcams, NFL and CFB.
i) films
Resevior Dogs, Leon the Professional, The Thing and Once Upon a Time in the West.
j) animes
Samurai Champloo
k) music
Radiohead, Kanye West, David Bowie and The Fugees.
l) food/drink
Mac n' Cheese, Pizza and Gatorade.
8) Religious beliefs
>
9) Do you believe in the paranormal, eg. demons, dragons?
>
10) What is the closest to death you have been?
Heat stroke and severe dehydration while backpacking.
11) Have you ever physically hurt someone or yourself?
I was in a big high school fight.
12) Do you know someone who died?
Yes
13) Have you ever left your home country?
Yes
14) Favorite memory
Bus cuddling.
15) Are you a virgin? If not, when did you lose it?
Yes, but I have done nearly everything but put my penis in a vagina.
16) Do you wear socks when you are at home?
When it's cold.
17) Do you drink/smoke/do drugs?
Minimal drinking.
18) How long have you been a 4chan user?
Five years.
19) Do you use other imageboards?
>
20) If you could have one wish right now what do you wish for?
A billion dollars so I can just do what I want with the rest of my life.
21) If you could be with one person right now who would you be with?
>her
Any helium tanks in the market that are fail-proof for suicide?
nah sorry bud
just use your debit to get some bitcoin, very simple stuff, and order a cocktail of suicide drugs off the deep web (recommend mixing heroin and xanax)
if you don't do this, you're looking for attention and ill shatter your kneecaps
Used to be, but now they're mixed with oxygen because too many people were killing themselves with them
>>28657371
Pretty dead-set on doing it t b h. I've grown to have an utter disdain for people and I live an extremely embarrassing life (due to autism).
Plus death doesn't really scare me at all anymore, hell I'd take an eternity of resting in nothingness than having to deal with people's bullshit all the damn time.
Who else /caffeine withdrawal/ here?
I'm cutting back and 400mg's doesn't seem like anything
I wake up every day to a migraine until I get my first coffee
I drink about 6 cups a day, 2 or 3 if I don't have a chance to make any and have to buy them at Tim Hortons
Is there a stupider thing to be addicted too?
i tried going without it today and got a bad headache so i drank some mountain dew and the headache went away really fast
who /stellaris/ here?
fucking love this game desu, share stories about the rise and fall of your empire.
>be fanatic militaristic xenophobe human race
>build up my army and fleet
>ally with some ruthless capitalists
>fuck over a peace loving xenophile race
>get a message
>we have detected a large number of subspace vectors aimed directly for our galaxy
>whatever it is, it is massive
>turns out to be huge alien race intent on destroying everything in the universe
>my empire will fall soon due to these fuckers
>13 hours down the drain
>>28657257
>act like a shithead
>get flushed
Hope you're ready to prep the xeno bull fuckboi.
>>28657257
>turns out to be huge alien race intent on destroying everything in the universe
DROPPED
I was considering buying Stellaris, but if they're pushing the typical "Big bad aliums gonna destroy everything" shit then I'm not interested.
>>28657282
pretty sure its a random event that has a rare chance of happening.
>they haven't conquered much
>yet
How do we put an end to narcissism and hypergamy?
start slapping the shit out of women when they act up again. They've forgotten they're physically weaker than us
Nobody is going to put a stop to any of the bullshit that exists now, The planet is on a slow ride to destruction.
Sit back and enjoy the show
>>28657177
sexbots desu fampai we need the sexy bots to replace the mean cunts
Anyone else here realize how comforting it is to have autistic obsessions and be what normies consider to be pathetic because there's some kind of strange entertainment and comfort you receive from it? You know what you're doing and why people find things wrong with it but the pleasure is the same.
WHERE IS THAT BIRD FROM
>>28657303
It's a mask that some tranny who posts here and on /lgbt/ wears to hide / distract from how they don't pass in even the most remote capacity.
Man body, man face, maid clothes and a dumb edgy mask.
>>28657323
I do hate that bird
have a grandmommy gf who just wants you to stay in the house with her and live off of her retirement money?
Where can I find one?
But not a whore one, one that bakes me cookies and stuff.
I actually know a pretty radical ex tweaked party grandma. We hangout sometimes and snort pills. Sweet as sugar. Love that gal but nothing sexual. She's 58
Do grandmothers even have libido anymore?
Who here /fell for the university meme/?
>be me
>get into top tier uni
>first few weeks do no work
>wonder when the work will start
>about 4 weeks in realise the work hasn't started
>bored out my fucking mind doing nothing all the time
>reach end of first year, didn't do any work
>secondyearwillbeharderprobably.jpg
>end of final semester of second year next monday
>the work still hasn't started
>realise now my course requires no actual effort
>its a normie degree
>haven't done any of my assignments because fuck this shit
>going to just hand all this shit in a week late because who cares about capped grades
>even if I get a good grade any employer will just be like 'you spent 3 years doing fuck all you retarded faggot'
>I fell for the uni meme
I fell for the Uni meme, now I am 3/4 years done a History degree
it's an obscure feel ...
>>28656953
nah you fell for the shitty degree meme half the people on here fall for. Next time go for stem or don't go at all
>tfw GPA only dropped 0.02 this semester
Who here is finished with chasing 3D and has turned to the glory of 2D relationships. All you need is an onahole and a little imagination and you will find happiness at last. The positives of 2D vastly outweigh the positives of 3D lying cheating whores.
You say Taylor Swift - I say Taiga Aisaka
You say Mila Kunis - I say Senjougahara Hitagi
You say Jennifer Lawrence - I say Rei Ayanami
You say Scarlett Johansson - I say Haruhi Suzumiya
You say Kate Upton - I say Rin Tohsaka
You say Jessica Alba - I say Yoko Littner
You say anime sucks - I punch you in the face
99.9% of humans are still stuck with 3D relationships. If you are part of the 0.1% that have turned to anime and 2D, like and copy and paste this message to another 5 threads. DON'T LET THE GLORY OF ANIME DIE!
Ritsu has best ass
You have absolute shit taste in girls, my god.
>>28657156
those aint my picks. Only ones I like out of those are Haruhi and maybe Rei. Also Yoko has nice tits.
Women are born with an instinct to pick up sounds of nearby male prospects pissing. They can hear through the bathroom door and if you are pissing too lightly they won't consider you for sexual activity. But if your piss sounds like a waterfall it'll trigger a subconscious primal feeling within women. It's true and they talk about it. They're giggling when they hear you piss so betaly. The guy pissing on the side of the toilet bowl will forever be known as a chode, even if he does happen to be rocking an elephant trunk such as Proud Manlet. My secret is to walk into the restroom with one of those squirting water bottles and squeeze it with every bit of strength in me while pointing it directly towards the center of the toilet. The second the water hits the toilet water with such force the females within 2mi of me will begin to feel a tingling sensation in their lower belly area. When I step out the stall the guys in the restroom will naturally avoid my gaze as I've just pronounced myself as the true alpha male. When I step out of the restroom I make a "SssSss" sound to confirm to the nearby women that it was indeed me who made that pissening piss. This is the males natural mate calling. I stare intensely into the eyes of every female that meets my gaze while making a "SssSss", from this point on no words are said. The herd of women follow me back to my place where we proceed to have a reverse bukakke. Some guy found out about me cheating the system with the water bottle and started to do the same. That dumbass doesn't know Ive moved on to water hoses now, so yeah, phuck em.
>>28656907
This is truly original r9k material.
You should be proud OP, you're bringing the board up to its former glory
I pee to the side to prevent bladder splatter.
It has nothing to do with being a beta, I just don't want piss on my pants.
So what, the Horsecock effect?
That is old news, buddy.
