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Hi guys. Hope you don't mind my normie blog than I copy and pasted from reddit because I was getting spammed with downvotes.
(For reference I'm 19 is two weeks)
tl;dr eldritch mental entities that I know are fake but still cannot banish keep engaging in mental battles and forcing me to do humiliating or immoral acts while threatening to take away intelligence if I don't obey
edit: Come on guys, please don't downvote this. I know this sounds extremely bizarre and very weird, but this is all true and this has practically wrecked my life.
I know this is very long but after hitting the world limit in a previous attempt, I've faintly tried to make this the slightest bit interesting.
(I should say this post does get pretty cringe worthy as some of it is about the bizarre introspections of an extremely arrogant young teen)
I have no idea what's wrong with me.
My mind is not completely in my control.
I suffer from strange compulsions that started of like OCD (doing things in serieses of odd numbers, walking around objects) but then evolved into very strange thinking patterns such as having a council of aliens living in my head who constantly argue with me and fight for control of my own thoughts.
This lead to some pretty strange mental battles I've had with myself which lead to me killing the aliens by burning down their house while bolting their doors shut (I believed that if they saw me physically they could control my actions), however I woke up the next day and a god has assumed the alien's responsibility which lead to more mental battles... ( I should not that I couldn't actually see or hear these imaginary creatures, they were simply thoughts in my head that I couldn't control)...
>>26279795
Anyway, as an extremely arrogant but undoubtedly gifted young teen, I became obsessed with how smart I was (I won loads of chess tournaments and got full marks on every test I did during years 7-8), however I believed the mental beings kept trying to steal my intelligence through guilt tripping me and claiming that I was hoarding it from mentally disabled kids, or that they were the official owners of my own mental abilities, and that in order for me to keep it (through fighting them or through doing what they would ask me to do) I would have to perform OCD rituals ranging from walking around objects to not being able to lie or be mean to repeating lines such as "I'm a genius tear super intellectual" to myself in my mind in (yes, again) serieses of odd numbers. edit: I would also be forced into other restraining behaviors, such as not being able to be mean or lie to other people, while simultaneously not being able to be too nice to anyway for fear that their negative treats would stain me, sometimes I still feel a strong compulsion not to take hug or stroke one of my dogs as a relative once mentioned that it seemed pretty slow, go figure.
(I didn't actually believe that any of this was real in anyway possible especially given that I was also a neckbeard tier atheist at this time, yet I still felt as if it was real on an intuitive level, I couldn't ignore the involuntary thoughts I was having. I also desperately wanted to be more humble, although the entities in my mind kept me from moderating my opinions of others, I was forced to hate and look down on others despite feeling terrible for doing so)...
>>26279811
However, no matter how hard I tried to fight these mental entities, I would feel my mental abilities draining at times, I would be so short on concentration that I couldn't read, or so deep in brain fog that I couldn't do simple arithmetic such as 729 + 283 during exams. This is especially contrasting with the fact that when I felt normal I could literally read all day or that I could do arithmetic operations extremely quick.
Of course, this lead to the decline of my grades in school, as I mentioned previously, my entire self image was based on how smart I was, so this lead to quite a deep depression that lead to me attempting suicide twice with nobody to this knowing the real cause of such attempts. The two most important things in the world to me was (and in still is) my own autonomy, and my own competencies, having both taken away from me made me miserable.
Eventually I partially recovered just in time for my GCSE exams which I got 12A*s in, however this was after the biggest blow yet was dealt to me by these mental entities. (this gets slightly graphic) Eventually, the word "mind rape" began to stick, and every time any of the mental entities tried fighting me I was struck with disgusting, horrible compulsive thoughts of them literally raping me in an attempt to weaken my mind (although, this was nothing to the ego blow of them destroying my grades and my hobbies). Eventually I begged for them to leave stop raping my mind, and one of the gods instead gave me a "dumbing down" fetish in return for leaving me alone, I then begged for them to take it back but they simply laughed and jeered at me.
Are you getting help from a mental health professional? That's what you need right now.
Are you intimated by girls stronger than you?
Would you be okay with a girlfriend that's stronger than you?
Women stronger than me only exist in works of fiction
>>26279346
Yes, but only if there's femdom and pegging involved.
No and no.
Why?
So i drunkenly posted a thread last about how I had indergone a metamorphasis due to a broken nose. And I am noticably better looking as a result.
Having been a robot for the years since, I have been bemused go witness an increase in female interaction. I incorrectly described myself as a "super villian" in last nightjs thread. But that is only making light of my one man crusade.
It is a war against women. And my aim is to make them feel as mocked, humiliated and rejected as they have made us feel and more. I'll bump with some stories. But i want thos thread to be filled with tales of our victories.
>inb4 white night faggots
>inb4 denying free pussy
>inb4 closetfag
>>26279185
how would a broken nose change anything
explain
>>26279242
>And he is noticably better looking as a result
Good luck to you, op. I fucking hate my nose but everyone I know would look down on me if I ever had surgery.
>>26279185
story 1
btw literally almost every single story the slut approaches me
>be out with some friends several months ago.
>drunken gutterslut approaches me with "omg you look soo familiar" saying I am in one of her classes.
My friends are giving me the "nod" of approval, and my hatred of sluts hasn't grabbes their attention yet by this point
>so as per my protocol i wait until this girl says something which makes herself voulnerable.
>shes going on and on about how she loves kids and shit.
>asks for my name
>give fake name
>she says she likes that name, says all the Colin's she knows are really sexy. and that i am no dofferent
>targetlocked.jpg
>"well they obviously feel the opposite about yourself or else you'd be annoying them with your pathetic attempts at conversation.
>Shes stunned, so no immediate reply
>Please do both you and I a favor and get away from me because frankly, I'm almost emberassed for you at this point.
>she calls me an asshole and goes away, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.
>misson accomplished.jpg
Any robots dabble in psychedelics? I'm partial to acid, myself. When I'm tripping with others, it turns me into a normie who can have a lot of fun and actually enjoy myself, and when I'm alone, I either write or just think about stuff.
Anyone have any big realizations or things they've come to terms with while tripping? My second time doing acid, I was alone in a dark room and I realized that I wasn't ready to take care of myself, and on maybe my fourth time, I realized and came to terms with the fact that I'm going to die alone.
Any funny tripping stories?
Bump
High h h h h h h h h
Acid is my favorite drug just really hard to get where I am.
I did mushrooms last year at movement in Detroit but forgot to eat before hand (always eat before you do drugs, it will save your life). It's all loud ass house and techno and everytime a kick drum hit I could feel my insides shake. Threw up about a dozen times before deciding to go back to the hotel room and ride it out up there. Came down ate at subway then took the rest of the mushrooms and went to a few of the after parties. Ended up outside tripping nuts smoking with some new friends as the sun rose at about 7am. Ok experience but just smoked the rest of the time there.
Recently stopped all drugs so I could get a new job, 1 week without smoking and I'm having crazy fucking dreams
Fuck yeah dude I was condsidering dropping a tab tonight desu. Anyone else get really confident while tripping? Normally when I look in the mirror I want to kms but while I'm tripping I feel like I'm good looking. You haven't lived until you've tripped and had a staring contest with yourself in the mirror senpai
What is your type of woman?
>>26278732
qt, smug, dominant type
>>26278732
The type that has dicks :^)
>>26278732
>inb4 exists
should I just off myself?
>ugly as fuck
>beyond what plastic surgery/makeup can fix
>everyone thinks I'm an airhead
>i kind of am
>everyone thinks I'm easy
>i kind of am
>no one likes me/I have no friends
>no tits or ass at all
>no self esteem
>no one will ever like me, i have no good qualities
>would do anything for/love a boyfriend unconditionally, but no one wants me
>beyond depressed
>alone for the rest of my life, no hope
wat do?
yea prolly
I agree with your original idea, drop yourself off a building please
Go for it. Stop the misery. I know I am.
Do girls really care that much about looks?
Just compare Jon Snow and Kylo Ren.
Girls love Jon Snow, but they despise Kylo Ren, even though they look similar.
Could it be that girls care more about your moral alignment and less about looks?
>>26277876
You know Kylo Ren has a large portion of fangirls?
>>26277876
A) Besides their hair they don't look very similar
B) Girls are into Kylo Ren. Look at all the people talking about how sexy Adam Driver is
C) It's not about "moral alignment" you autist, its about status. Both are rich successful celebrities.
>>26277876
>but they despise Kylo Ren
Kylo Ren is worshipped on tumblr
This is to all the virgins here. Normal people don't need to read or reply to this.
Bro I'm gonna be 100% honest with you okay. You're a creep. I hate to break it to you but if you're over 18 years old and you've never had a girlfriend it's probably your fault. Face it there's no hope. Contrary to what you losers think the world is actually a pretty fair place. If you're a virgin it's probably your own fault. You're probably some kind of school shooter, creep, rapist, weirdo, pedophile, stalker, or repressed cereal killer and the girls can sense it. Girls can sense these things man. They can see the red flags. Just look in a mirror lol. No girls wants a loser. They'd rather smoke weed with an alpha like me who can take care of them. You're being screwed out of that normal human experience and no one cares. Go kill yourself. No one will cry or miss you. You probably won't even get an obituary. Go cry. You're creepy, you make women feel uncomfortable, do the world a favor okay.
tl;dr You're screwed. No amount of intelligence, dedication, or hard work can salvage it. You'll never even land a fat ugly chick. It's called genetics which you don't have.
>>26277651
>The world is a pretty fair place
Thats the opposite of the widely accepted norm. "Life isn't fair" is a widely used motivational saying ffs. Put some bait on the hook next time at least.
At least my facial hair actually grows in, Brad.
>>26277651
naah, that kind of posts are frustrated normies ones
>finishing up my therapy appointment today
>therapist mentions she'll be out of town for two weeks
>ask her where she's going, if she doesn't mind
>she says she's spending a week on vacation, a week doing a speaking engagement, and "that's all she feels comfortable telling me"
What in the actual fuck? I was just trying to make conversation as I handed her my credit card. Two days a week I tell this woman my deepest and darkest secrets, fears, and longings, and she can't tell me where she's going on vacation or what she'll be talking about?
Please help me, bros.
Fuck off, she isn't your friend, it's her job.
You didn't do anything wrong anon. She probably wanted to keep it professional so she chose not to talk about her personal life. Albeit in a kind of bitchy way.
no rose bread?
let's fix that.
>>26277313
does she even camwhore anymore?
i thought she was actually a he anyway?
>>26277418
>bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
is anyone here?
Does anyone here listen to jazz?
Satch is the man
>>26275983
Yes i have listened to a few songs, I love Sun ra (crazy but cool guy) Miles Davis and the guy who did "Blues and roots"
Moanin' by Bobby Timmons never fails to make me feel better. I don't always feel in the mood for it but when I listen to it I always end up appreciating it anyway. Of course it's only temporary joy but it's at least something. Thanks for reading my story.
how much do you hate fat people?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ_a8VXhiSc
daily reminder we should be exterminating these people, fat people contribute NOTHING to society
>>26275607
That man must be so uncomfortable
>>26275607
I fucking hate the r9k filter. I just wanna post maymays
>>26275934
how is she not dead yet is a mistery
Is an Ashe Maree tier qt gf attainable for a robot with high aspirations and motivation?
Isn't she a camwhore? A lesbian one at that
>>26274953
she's a camfu, yes. a really qt one at that. totally want to cuddle her ;_;
>>26274985
Pretty hot Tbh
Have a bump
does anyone know if there is a /r9k/ community server?
or if anyone can host one that would be great a small community going, all i fancy is basic survival but it could be really comfy
I don't own minecraft, but I would partake if I could.
Can i tend the chickens?
We can live off the fatta the lan'!
>>26274587
if there was a server you could do as you please /steinbeck/
>Went out to a club last night with some college chums
>Hate clubs
>Cockfest
>No surprise.png
>All girls dolled up in make-up, 98% of girls wearing high heels to filter out manlets
>Girls reject me. Not a typical robot rejection.. I'm about 7/10 face and 5'10". More just 'nice friendly chat'. I get polite rejections.
If you ask any grill why she goes out to a club, she'll say "Oh just to meet new people" or "Just to have fun". They don't go out with the intent to take someone home, like guys.
They go to get validation off of us. To reinforce their belief of being attractive. Guys are so thirsty that they'll happily walk into clubs and try their luck. Notice when we pull it's called "getting lucky"?
And I'm not ugly or a manlet. Of course these poor fuckers have it worse. Girls will receive validation from them AND feel entitled to call them creeps and turn their heads away in disgust.
http://www.rooshv.com/an-epidemic-of-thirsty-men-is-making-it-harder-to-get-laid
Fuck women. And fuck the beta cuts enforcing this male suffering.
>>26274380
Could it possible that they aren't interested in casual sex? Is that so difficult to believe?
>>26274463
If a girl and I kissed in a nightclub, I would feel good. We need validation too
>>26274463
That's exactly what OP is saying, actually.
