Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1641. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1641. page
say your personal 10/10 wanted nothing more than to be with you and suck your balls whenever you wanted. But she has a kid/kids from another relationship? Would you do it?
my oneitis is a milf and her kids are over 18 and fully independent so I probably would
is she a true 10/10?
absolutely
so you're saying my oneitis is with me and is very easy going and caring... but has kids? is the catch that the kids are nightmares?
Last year I was doing a three day counselor stand in at the end of a leadership course and I got to take care of 11 kids. Here is the story of 'Randal'
> Be me, run out of blades for razor. Want to shave.
> Desperate so use a scalpel from my first aid kit. Pic related.
> Afterwards dry off blade and put it in deck of cards so noone finds it or cuts themselves.
> I don't play cards so there was no chance of anything happening.
> See Randal after dinner in the dining hall later.
> Hes smirking like a fuck
> Hey Anon, guess what we found?
> No idea lol idfc
> "We found a knife"
> Lol I bet you did
> "It was in a deck of cards"
> Oh fuck.jpeg
> "Dude gimme the knife now"
> "I can't Anon"
> Whythefucknot
> "Its in an orange"
> You fucking what
> "We hid it in an orange so that it could be a secret"
> Well tell me where this magic fucking orange is.
> "With the other oranges. We had to hide it"
> SHOW ME NOW
> The camp has a huge bowl of oranges in the dining hall, probably like 50 to 100 oranges.
> Fuckme.jpeg
> I have to go and take all the oranges.
> Like three people took oranges while we were standing there.
> Took oranges into woods and start throwing them at a tree.
> Eventually find blade, but theres a huge pile of smashed oranges.
> Get rid of blade.
> Go back to cabin.
> Co counselor comes back a few minutes later.
> "Man I just had to clean up a huge mess. Someone took a bunch of oranges and smashed them in the woods."
> He's pretty mad
> Blame Randal
> mfw
>>29286397
I laughed.
But why the fuck would anyone ever want to shave badly enough that they'd use an improvised razor?
>>29287385
Fine I lied, I had to cut my dick off ASAP. It got hard when I saw a girl and Jesus said it had to go.
>>29287423
Christ-fag here.
You did good OP, where you once had a dick you now have the holy love of the Lord Jesus. Your sacrafice will send your dickless body to heaven where you'll be able to love Jesus in a totally straight and no-homo way.
I need all of you to charge this sigil to Elliot Rodger by furiously masturbating to it. Help me bring forth the supreme gentleman's resurrection!
>>29286385
nah-uh you're not gonna get my seed Beleth
>>29286515
pls just help me summon the supreme gentleman.
This board's obsession with the "supreme gentleman" has got to be one of the creepiest thing about it. I mean about him... it's not fair to sully his reputation like that.
>What? We're you watching me swim lil bro?
>>29286370
Bro, why are you staring at me like that?
>>29286370
>>29286370
Yeah I w'as now I have a renob can u suk suk with ur tits lol
I put me big renob in ur giant boobs like a pussy then cum yogurt on ur face haha thanks sis
>>29287104
Hint: read it backwards ;-)
Need a name for my new bowl.
First to roll names it: 00,19,28,37,46,55,64,73,82,91
mushroom ass play
Mohammed.
>original
Roll threads are not for /r9k/. Stop this /b/ teir carryover.
Saged
>be closet cross dressing faggit
>get kik
>pretty much every user is taken
>finally make one
>start getting paranoid about irl people somehow finding my kik and lewds
I-is this possible
>>29286337
>give me attention and add me on kik: the thread
yeah nah, fuck off
>>29286337
Whats your kik, slut? Gib boipucci plox
>>29286535
>projecting
I wouldnt add a single person from this place. Seeings how facebook and google chrome both require access to your contacts just like kik it's an extemely valid question.
I can only image the shit you degenerates would send.
Oh god guys, I really fucked up this time. I really screwed this up.
>new job flies me across the country to attend a training session
>in class with ~50 other people
>meet a few, manage to hold in my spaghetti and feel pretty good about it
>time to go back to the hotel for the day
>several people are staying at the same hotel as me
>they ask me to call the hotel and arrange a shuttle to pick us up
>I'm deathly afraid of talking on the phone
>just poke my screen a few times and pretend to talk to someone, then say thanks and pretend to hang up
>crisis averted
>we go outside to wait for the shuttle
>taking a really long time
>too long, the hotel isn't that far
>the normies start questioning me about what the hotel people said to me
>I'm panicking hard, can't think of anything
>eventually confess that I never called them, I only pretended
>they're fucking livid, start screaming at me
>they can't even understand why I would do it, they're just so mad at me for wasting their time
>I can barely hold in my tears, I think they noticed
>they call for the shuttle themselves, haven't spoken to me since
How am I supposed to face these people tomorrow?
>>29286244
why didn't you just fucking call them
they have every right to be livid
>>29286244
why aren't you coloring with colored pencils atm?
It's real fun
>>29286261
Talking on the phone is too stressful, I can't handle it
"Authorities are investigating a girls's death after a local fisher found her body sealed inside a 55-gallon barrel.
The man spotted the barrel floating along the Delaware river front on Friday afternoon. He called the New Hanover Sheriff's office after opening the barrel and seeing the body inside."
So now that Eliza is literally dead, who's going to take her place as the queen of /r9k/?
>>29286138
I want to muffdive zombie Eliza's rancid snatch
>>29286138
is that really her?
really???
originalio
how am I supposed to satisfy a woman with THIS just end it familia
I'm the exact same size, maybe slightly bigger.
We'll be fine.
nice turtle neck you disgusting human bean
looks perfectly fine, id suck it
just be glad youre uncut
>finally get a gf
>find out her last two boyfriends were black
Should I worry about getting KEKED by Tyrone?
>>29286124
Dump the disgusting whore
>>29286124
why do you even care?
Get an STD test if you are afraid of that
Otherwise get out, there's a reason she left them
daily reminder to never ever date a coalburner. if she doesn't even respect herself enough to not fuck trash then she sure as shit will never respect you. tell her to enjoy her HIV and single motherhood and then get out.
Anyone else here a bagger/cashier at a grocery store?
>tfw you start bagging someones huge cart in plastic and when you've already bagged like four bags they go "Oh please use paper" or "Oh I brought my own bags"
>tfw customers come with two carts full and they give you two reusable bags and say "I want these all in here, no plastic at all please" Then get mad when you don't bag it exactly right or if it's too heavy
>Customers that get mad when you politely tell them an item is no longer on sale and act like you're trying to rip them off.
>Customers that go and complain to the service desk and tell them to yell at you because you slightly squished their shitty white trash bread
>>29286107
Nobody here works in a grocery store?
>>29286453
b-bumping one last time ;-;
I don't work there per say, but I am a vendor. Those guys run all over the store right?
Storytime for y'all halfies.
> Be me, beta 17M
> Friend asks if I wanna come with him and do some graffiti.
> Nothing else to do, plus my friend is good at art so it can't go too badly.
> I say sure.
> Meet with him and other dude that night, they've been out for hours when I get there, and they've used most of their paint.
> Still down though, follow them to some wall they scouted out behind some apartment, but its still really visible.
> Shaking cans, ready af.
> After they tag it up for a bit, they ask what I think they should do next.
> "Idk dude how about the brazzers logo or something"
> They're like "We don't have enough paint. Lets just do the two yellow Zs in the black box. People will understand what its supposed to be."
> Say ok and let them do it all since I suck at art.
> Mess around with the flashlight for a bit and come back once they're done.
> "Well anon what do you think?"
> Theyre smiling, completely oblivious.
> Its hitler's SS emblem, with two yellowy white tinted thunderbolts (see pic for reference).
> WTF
> I tell them.
> They tell me not to worry and say that people will understand.
> We write 'bra' and 'ers' on each side for a bit of redemption, but with minimal paint left, you can't really see anything but the thunderbolt box.
> We leave it there.
> yeah
>>29285999
shit fucking story anon. please never post again you fag.
>>29286049
Quit fucking up my board, you nigger.
>>29285999
Literally the worst thread I've ever seen.
Is there anyone on here who is legitimately this tier of ugly, or is it just a meme? If you think you legitimately are, tell us about your life.
>>29285923
This is the bottom 1%. So mostly meme.
>>29285971
Um bro, this is the home of the bottom 1%.
>>29285923
Me. I feel like killing myself every day. Tried twice. Been neeting CS:GO for the past four years. I've never uploaded a pic of myself on the internet, because I'm fully aware that I'll become a meme. Even if it was just a facebook pic, somebody would think it's funny to turn it into a meme.
>>29286015
/r9k/ is not the bottom 1%. Not even wizchan is not the bottom 1%. This place is 16-21 year olds who are slightly awkward but largely normal and will live normals lives. Plenty of people on /r9k/ even openly admit to having gfs and sex, it's disgraceful but that's what this place is now.
Who here /comfy/ and what're you doin?
>take nice shower
>bowl of orange and vanilla ice cream
>watching Mad Max: Fury Road and playin' vidya
What a day, what a lovely day.
>while chad is cuddling with your oneitis
YEAH WHAT A COMFY DAY.
>>29285909
>having a oneitis
What a normalfag
>Just had teriyaki
>Fresh clean clothes
>thunder/rain/hailstorm outside
>Gonna play some mirror's edge
8/10 comfy
What's it like to be a pretty grill?
I don't know but I REALLY want to be Darjeeling
/r9k/ is not the place for that question silly
>>29285871
>>29285937
>1 poster
>2 posts
