Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5124. page
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Oh hello, wagecuck. On your way home from work? I see. Hard day? What do you do for a living again, wagecuck? You glue mattresses together? That sounds like tough work, I feel bad for you wagecuck.
What am I doing, you ask? Oh, wagecuck, what does it look it like? This is a crime scene. You see, because I am a NEET, I am able to devote my time to a myriad of different intellectual pursuits. Wagecuck, the murder that has taken place here today is a kind of puzzle- a puzzle of blood and mystery. Just the kind of panacea to ease the enlightened NEET's boredom.
Be careful where you step by the way, wagecuck, this *is* a homicide scene.
It might be difficult for you to wrap your head around it wagecuck, but the ecstatic joy of revealing a killer's identity, of matching wits with the world's greatest criminals-
> this is a feel you will never know...
Wagie, you spend all day toiling, and what satisfaction comes of it? You can claim to feel good about working hard but at the end of the day you are rotting your brain on repetitive tasks, all for the almighty shekel. Unlike this NEET, who /solvescrimes/.
And before you tell me that being a detective is a job: this is my hobby. I am actually rudimentary at detective work, and yet my enlightened NEETness allows me to peer into the minds of even the most devious killers.
In fact, I've already solved this case. Yes, the victim was a wagie like you, distraught from /overwork/. He just wanted to be /aqua/ like me. Mr. Shekels worked him to the bone, and he just couldn't handle it.
That's right, wagecuck. It's not a murder after all. The wagie cops over there won't figure it out for a while. They're hopeless. Our victim killed himself and made it appear to be a homicide so that his family would not learn of his pains.
The NEET, however, feels nothing.
Except for comfort, that is.
Oh anon, there's really no mystery here. You should just give up and become a NEET like me. Why?
It's elementary, my dear wagecuck...
>>26935714
they just keep getting better
Why are there so many of these fucking threads?
>>26935714
Fucking kek
I'm not a big fan of these threads but this one is good.
Who /wageslave/ here? How old are you and how much longer do you think you can keep going before killing yourself?
I am 25 working at a car dealership for $9/hr. I don't want to be alive anymore. It doesn't help that I am very sexually frustrated and don't know how to hold a conversation with women. It just makes me hate life even more than my shit job.
Become a NEET and all your life worries will go away.
>>26935694
Pretty sure id become kicked out and homeless
>>26935622
damn... if there were something you could do about it
That's it, I'm through, I fucking hate women.
Women are vapid, shallow whores who care more about their fucking hair and nails than the world around them. They are mindless trend-following drones that act as personality sponges to the men around them. And by that I mean they absorb the interests and emotions of the guy they're dating. Women are entirely unoriginal, uninteresting, and altogether worthless.
Have you ever known a women who was genuinely interested in a hobby? Think real hard. The answer is NO, you haven't. Because there is no such thing as a woman with an interest. Life is a meme to a woman. A fashion accessory like fucking hair dye or abdominal tattoos. Something to make her appear "deep" and "interesting."
Its the same with women and "mental illness." While the genuinely mentally ill struggle from the confines of their own houses, unable to go outside, women on tumblr and reddit ramble about "muh anxiety" and "muh depreshun" and flaunt their fucking support groups of their boyfriends, their female friends, and their legions of beta orbiters.
And don't fucking get me started on beta orbiters. How fucking pathetic is that. You want to know whats worse than a woman? A man so stupid, so empty in the head, that he actually gets sucked into the vacuum of believing its possible for a woman to be interesting. Women spin beta orbiters on their fingers to feed their narcissistic need for attention, and the worst part is that the beta orbiters enable them to do it.
Fuck women.
Don't let your virginity cause you to rage like this, OP.
Dude, nobody cares. Youre acting exactly like a tumblrina bitching about men, except you dont see it as being a tumblrina. Men and women are different. Get over it or keep being a cry baby.
>>26935416
Fuck you. I don't need a woman to validate my existence with her wet fucking hole. Virgin hate is a meme created by feminist shills to shame men who have seen the light and realized the truth about sluts.
>tfw gay people all get laid and have lots of special someones
how do I turn gay, I look at dick pics and fit men for longs periods of time but I just can't get a boner
Just start shoving stuff up your ass until you like it.
>>26935303
I hear you can get reverse gay conversion therapy.
But seriously
1)Go on grindr
2) Get really drunk
3)Let some guy put it in your bum
4) Drink more until you enjoy it
Repeat as many times as necessary
>>26935303
>lots of special someones
Wouldn't that make you feel even more empty than not having anyone at all? Those kinds of relationships are so hollow and unfruitful.
Thanks for dinner anon, so what are we doing this weekend?
I'd twirl her noodle if you know what i mean
uhh don't eat so fast Lexi.. the pounds start to add up
getting drunk and browsing 4chan
![SimilarMinds.com ] Personality Test Results.png](https://i.imgur.com/hc5frnD.png "SimilarMinds.com ] Personality Test Results")
How messed up are you, /r9k/?
http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html
>>26935272
Don't let the thread die yet OP.
Here's me, not too surprising
I'm probably fucked for life. Just look at my scores.
>Go to normie party uninvited (a large one so no one wonders who I am)
>Gather a group of them
>Make them play my new "board game" I've invented
>The rules are so convoluted and complicated that I am the only one who understands them
>Whenever they make an illegal move, I pretend to be annoyed that I have explain it to them again
>I tell them "brb going to toilet" and get up
>I actually just get up and go around a corner and spy on them and watch them try to figure out my "game"
>I start to giggle very hard and get a bit cheeky and poo my pants
I am in fucking hysterics just picturing their faces!!!!! I can feel a poo coming on!!!!
Wtf?
Good story. Pretty unbelievable though.
6/10
You missed the part where they all make fun of you behind your back
>>26935228
Should make it a drinking game and get them to all die of alcohol poisoning
Could you handle her?
What's a pussy like on a girl that tall? Is it really long?
>>26935155
Yup, she most likely has a huge vagina
Wew
Hell yes.
>tfw no giant gf
Hello NEETS and Wagies alike. It's me again, professor NEET.
Since I posted my last thread, informing you of the truth, (Wagekeks are literal slaves, from a scientific standpoint, from anyone who didn't read the last thread) I have been working around the clock to cure Wagekeks of their affliction and free them from their own shackles. So far, I've had little luck. I've tried psychological options, explaining to wagekek subjects of the true joy of being a NEET, to no avail. I've tried a medical approach, injecting Wagecucks with dopamine and muscle relaxers (to try and make them less stressed) but the happier and more relaxed the Wagies become, the more fixated they become on forcing themselves into slavery. However, the one thing I tried that worked a little bit was something I like to call shekelstienian therapy. By making the Wagekeks believe that their respective shekelstiens WANT them to become NEETs, they become somewhat more responsive to my experiments. No conclusive results so far, but the tests are in their infancy. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress as we fight towards a cure. One day, Wagekeks, you will be as free as your NEET superiors. I promise.
>>26935029
>I have been working around the clock to cure Wagekeks
so you are a wagecukk
congrats faggot
It it scientifically proven that the NEET is the apex of human evolution?
>>26935029
Please keep up the good work professor, we must save the wageslaves before they destroy themselves.
>tfw boyfriend is the only reason im happy
>tfw boyfriend is out of my league 100%
>tfw boyfriend will probably break up with me soon
>tfw going to kill self if he breaks up with me
/r9k/ how do i keep him hostage with my love
lie about being on birth control
>>26934931
Indulge in his weird fetishes that you have up until now said "no" to
you know the ones
>>26935035
That's a good way to get yourself dumped.
who /anti-depressants/ here?
>>26934916
Will they make me feel happy with life? Or just "not sad" ?
>>26934938
i take SSRI, it makes me feel a little lighter
>>26934916
damn borat is a big guy
Where were you during the glorious robotic revolution of /lit/?
With my psychologist
>you have autism
>no
>>26935112
roasties are getting BTFO on an unprecedented scale
>>26934833
whats going on family
post you are karaoke, r9k.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cRCqVQExpH
listen at your discretion. in b4 "big fhaggot"
>>26934714
it's a small portion of a full song, but I put all of my pure concentrated autism into it.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s03Z6FVUNeTo
Enjoy
>>26935248
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s03Z6FVUNeTo
fembots are going to throw their wet undie pantsu at you.
>>26935274
It's not for them. It's for you, OP - for the great thread that could have been.
Well I'm happy today robots and it was to my crush growing up gave her a titty fuck then came inside her, anyone else had realistic feeling sex in dreams?
Yes, and this is a very original comment robot pls no ban
>>26934544
Kinda realistic, I guess.
The best dreams are the ones where I'm just happy though - not temporary "this video game is cool" happiness, I mean "my soul is at peace" serenity.
But then I wake up and realize another day is starting all over again.
When i was like 12 everyday I talked to this chick on runescape. We were good friends and one day I had a dream that i met her irl and fucked her on a couch. In the dream i came in like 2 pumps and it felt so good. I woke up and found out i had pissed myself a little bit
Choose one, /r9k/
>>26934459
Incompetent and boring or competent and slutty
Neither.
right girl of course
how is that even a question
>>26934459
right obviously.else enjoy being cucked[/spoile]
