Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4592. page
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Are vibrators really that good?
>>27365858
Not really they are overrated. I got one and put it under my frenulum I didn't feel anything special. It did make a lot of cum come out though.
>>27366048
>I didn't feel anything special.
>It did make a lot of cum come out though.
uhhuh
>>27366202
Well usually when I cum I do it in batches but the vibrator just made it all come out once
>be browsing Facebook, scoffing at the faggots with their shit-tier 3D waifus (It's become a hobby of mine at this point :^) )
>I begin thinking about my queen Nadeko and I suddenly fear a spark in the southern limits of pleasure
>but it's too late, an update from this disgusting wench (let's call her Stacy, as if I care about her shitty anonymity as opposed to my superior /r9k/-blessed anonymity) has suddenly permeated my feed
>"anon really needs to back tf off, he's creepy as fuck and won't leave me alone"
>of course the bitch would refuse my invitation to my harem, I'm far too nice of a man for a slut like her
>it has 20 upvotes and all of the comments are various chads agreeing, all I can see is "ay bb u wan som fuk?" and it sickens me
>I resort to my ace in the hole when I experience aggression from the internet
>I slam my index finger on my worn out caps lock button
>"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE BITCH?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GRADUATED TOP OF MY CLASS IN THE NAVY SEALS," you get it.
>no one responds, confirming that I've scared them all off, like the bitches they are
Later that day
>mom walks in
>"what the FUCK makes you think you can just fucking walk into my room unannounced?!"
>normally the first moment I shout at her she's scared off, and usually makes me delicious cheeseburger hot pockets to remedy my anger
>but she's not budging now, she's crossed her arms and is looking at me with murder in her eyes
>"anon, did you make a post on Facebook threatening to kill Stacy, and proceed to lie about being in the Navy Seals?"
>Oh shit I forgot she has Facebook
>"Pfft. No. What kind of faggot do you think I am? I don't have a Facebook."
>"Okay, because I've seen your post. Anon Im putting my foot down, I may have given in and allow you to throw your little tantrums, but they are to stay in this house. The moment you lash out publicly is the moment any ounce of respect they have left for me is lost."
Continued below.
I "ugh" and fart in response
>she sighs "okay that's it anon, I'm giving you my coat, we're going over to that poor girls house and apologizing"
>"NO!" I begin punching my computer desk, "I'M NOT GOING OVER TO THAT BITCH'S HOUSE!"
>"why not?"
>"BECAUSE SHE FUCKING MADE FUN OF ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!"
>"Anon, dear, you're 26. She's 17. You only added her because she was suggested to you in your friends list. You two haven't met before in your life."
>"WHATEVER! I DON'T CARE." I flip over my Monster Drink in protest and angrily cross my arms
>suddenly, I feel like I'm being restrained, I notice a coat being aggressively wrapped onto me
>I scream in protest and begin kicking in my computer chair
>I punch that bitch in the face and begin running out of my house
>my pants fell down at one point but I don't care
>she's chasing me, cradling her black eye and I get down on all fours, squealing and leaving a trail of piss behind me, pink skin glinting in the setting sunlight
>I pass Stacy's house and I fling a massive shit at her window, as she watches on in horror
>I scream "THE TIME FOR THE BETA UPRISING IS NOW, FAGGOTS." at the top of my lungs
>suddenly I black out, I'm not used to that kind of exertion
>I wake up, handcuffed to my bed with a plate of cheeseburger hot pockets sitting on my stomach
>I take out my smartphone, cleverly hidden in my underwear and check Facebook, there are posts all over about a wild pig wearing human clothes running around
>mfw I unintentionally disguised myself from those faggots
>mfw the Beta Uprising still has the benefit of working from the shadows
>we do not forgive, we do not forget
>expect us
So how was your Tuesday?
Why did this need to be written
>>27365727
Because God is good
AY NO ONE'S IN THE HOUSE
>be easy-e
>get aids
>die
When you come out your shit is gone
[spolier]bitch[/spoiler]
>>27365570
YOU FUCKED UP YOU RETARD, KILL YOURSELF ASAP (rocky) ((lol)) (((please reply if you thought funny)))
Why do indian women love black dick so much?
>>27365491
indians and niggers both smell bad
>>27365491
they're not able to get white cock so they settle for second best
>>27365491
I'd guess it's because they were disowned by their parents so they want to make them upset
Dead youtube channels/other internet shit only you remember
>only you remember
Always the gayest fucking thing to say
>>27365467
>that guy who posted a youtube video of beating/achieving an absolutely perfect game of simcity
https://youtu.be/JtB2ZfVuLhY
Never. Forget.
I died a little inside that day
The youtube channel lifeandlevel
Why is almost every girl on tinder a flake?
>>27365418
they are not
you are just ugly famm
>>27365486
then they wouldn't have talked to him in the first place
>>27365486
Almost 500 matches would say otherwise
How can white weebs even compete?
Please stop baito-kun, this hurts.
So much hatred for a bunch of isolated, friendless, unemployed white male losers on the internet
we have truly lost everything
http://www.wordsthatfollow.com/play/game.php?gid=121
You guys want to play with me? I want to play a social game but this is all I could think of.
>>27365252
Sure, do I join you or what?
>>27365287
>>27365252
Nvmnd, im dumb. I'm joining
>>27365303
Cool beans :D
>not accepting that there's nothing to gain in the world
>not accepting you're a loser
>not accepting that even Chad and Stacy are playing a losing game
>not accepting the culture is rotten and dying
>not accepting no matter what occurs, civil war, happenings etc. you're stuck as yourself
>not picking up a skateboard and acting like an idiot, pressure flipping all over the place to the displeasure of normies
>THE CURRENT YEAR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5alEehUwsRs
>implying I would find any fulfillment in doing that
Everything seems wrong
>>27365183
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeTPreaj3HE
this shit seems fuckin hard
>>27365183
>being a defeatist skateboarding cuck
get the fuck out faggot
>tfw you find Jewish facial features the most attractive>tfw you grow up to hate Jews but almost your whole family is semitic / literally born in Isreal
Just fuck my whole life up senpai
>>27364829
I think Jew noses are incredibly hot too
>>27364829
stop molesting your cat
like wtf
>>27364861
Dump schnoz.
You pet suddenly turns into a super cute girl right before your eyes. What do you do?
give her a lethal dose of morphine
The only answer you want to hear, and the one you were thinking when you made this thread- attempt to fuck it. Happy, OP?
Pet her and feed her then return to my usual business.
Please help me /r9k/
>On tram
>Only me, 7/10 grill, and black guy on Tram
>Everyone minding their own business
>Girl starts freaking out over laptop not working
>Thing is mashed to shit, has a Kasich 2016 campaign sticker on it lel.
>Punches laptop lightly, says don't worry multiple times to no one in particular
>Pulls out vodka bottle
>Pours vodka on laptop
>Drinks the last part of it
>Starts to roll bottle on floor
>Her stop arrives and its the same as mine
>She's a new hire at my company
>I work at an airline
>We start talking later
>She's very sweet yet mousey and quiet
What do I do /r9k/? She's obviously insane with the train episode but I don't know, I like her. I don't have a number or anything. When I asked her what her name is she said she had not needed one for a while. I haven't been able to sleep because I'm thinking about her. I'm tired. I won't see her until Friday at work. I have no pictures yet.
>>27364599
Believed you until I read the Kasich 2016 part.
JEEZ OH MAN
Ah gosh golly gee whiz
>>27364599
Read this shit like a year ago.
Get me out of here.
I thought the robot was here to stop this from happening. Please help if you're reading this Mr. Hiroshima.
Nothing in life brings me joy. it has been like this for most of my life. What do I do? What do you do?
Fantasize about killing myself almost every day. I think how funny it would be if I jumped in front of a truck when I'm walking down the street.
I'll never actually do it I am too pussy, but I guess it helps for me to somewhat visualize it
>>27364489
I used to do that about killing everyone, but I've lost the motivation to even think that anymore.
I play video games and drown myself in liquor and smoke alot of weed.
I work out as well. At the end of the day Im not that guy that goes to the gym because "my mind just clears bro" its just a habit. I still hate myself and my life. I wake up every morning wishing I didn't. I don't have any friends, my mom wants me to move out, don't have alot of money and wageslave 2 jobs.
Been like this for awhile and Im driving myself insane. Literally I don't talk to anyone because my jobs are more asocial and by myself.
Comment your kik user name and I will add you
Bubblebass0232
spookybeef6
NulByte
You are appreciated
banger - yeeees
Brenda's Got a Baby is legitimately one of the greatest songs ever made.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRWUs0KtB-I
t. post-patrician /mu/tant
Tupac was too corny to take seriously. How can you listen to a song like this or Changes without bursting into laughter.
