Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4591. page
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Man, you guys post some really sad stuff when I browse in bed before sleep. Your stories depress me sometimes. I'd offer Skype to console you little dinguses but too many trolls lurk. So let out your sadness here, I want to try to feel your pain tonight.
>>27366840
i could really really really appreciate someone to skype right now
>>27366907
https://discord.gg/0tTP68lFXHGexppW
go in my discord and instead of being sad you can discuss memes
Made skype to talk to fellow robots.... disnt work out so well.. mostly edgy teenagers.
>KHV
>Kissless Handholdless Virgin
or
>HKV
>Handholdless Kissless Virgin
The second makes more sense because it increases in severity. Also unless I'm losing my mind I'm sure we used to say it that way. Is it too late to change it?
>>27366821
Have you tried having sex before?
>>27366833
Yeah. Can't get hard. Now back to the question...
>>HKV is better
Why can't you get hard?
We all know Google, like most tech companies, is super SJW. But just how far would they go to appease the tumblr crybabies? I made this absurd petition to change the "I'm not a robot" text on recaptcha because it's offensive to people who identify as robots, complete with a convincing backstory. Anyone interested in trollin Google?
https://www.change.org/p/google-stop-attacking-our-identities-with-the-recaptcha-design
Upboated and signed ;^)
Bump for existential crisis
This is a good thread. It shouldn't die.
Outdoor Spring & Summer Landscaping. Students Welcome To Apply!
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$16.50 an hour - Part-time, Temporary
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If you are an honest, competitive, and hard-working individual with the correct attitude and effort to succeed, then this job is definitely for you!
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Full-time, part-time and occasional positions are available.
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Excellent job for students, individuals between jobs and employed workers looking to make some extra income on the side.
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Apply Online at http://PropertyStarsJobs.com
Job Type: Part-time
>>27366745
mabey?
>>27366745
Fuck off.original comment niggers
"If you are an honest, competitive, and hard-working individual with the correct attitude and effort to succeed, then this job is definitely for you!"
Is there anyone like that on this board?
Don't buy the BIG BLACK COCKS are taking over meme.
The black girls and white ratchets are only interested in Tyrones. Tyrones are maybe 1 in 5 of us and they tend to die off at a young age. You'd be surprised how many of us are robots/KVs.
Did anybody seriously think it was more than a meme? Most women prefer either white men, or men of their own race, as evidenced by dating site response rates.
>>27366676
Still a nigger though
>tfw no weeb autistic black friend
>>27366706
fuck off, racists aren't welcome
It isn't strange to fap solely to 2d is it?
>>27366585
I think it is
you know it is too, deep down
>implying watching only 2d anything isn't strange
sorry senpai
but it is
>>27366585
Better than porn which is pretty much designed to kill your initiative. Then again, fapping multiple times a day to 2D will probably have the same effect as fapping to an equal amount of porn.
The question of whether or not 2D is strange depends on your moral compass
So anon, do we look good for Chad's birthday party?
Did you not have better things to do than post this?
>>27366559
What's wrong? What shitty part of your existence are you thinking about?
>>27366422
What if I tell you that you looked ugly? Will you then ditch the party or maybe change your clothes? What if you look terrible and I told you that I like your dress, would that make your appearance less ugly in the eyes of Chad?
>Anon, it is impossible to be a virgin now that the Tinder exists!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLoRPielarA
>just got my first smartphone
>not sure if Tinder or any other apps are a good idea
I'm going to get mugged, aren't I?
>see occupation section
>delete app
Okay gents April 1 is coming up anyone planning on some pranks on their senpai or anything?
I'm planning on telling this girl I miss her and all and if it turns sour I'll just pull the ole April Fools and never talk to her again
is april 1st the perfect day to profess your love, for the easy back out plan?
>>27366346
Haven't you heard? There's no easy way out, there's no short-cut home.
>>27366314
Sounds like you're setting yourself up to look pretty dumb desu
Ever done anything stupid while fapping? Do tell.
>summer of 2013
>recently read all of the Song of Ice and Fire(Game of Thrones) books
>really bored so I begin fapping process
>can't get aroused by porn or pics
>brainstorm a few minutes to try and get hard
>start thinking about Rhaegar Targaryen and how he's a tragic character that the entire ASoIaF series revolves around
>get hard
>start thinking about his tragic story
>at this point I'm full blown erect
>start gasping "For his is the Song of Ice and Fire"
>this is a direct quote from Rhaegar
>blow my load thinking about tragic character from a fantasy novel series with tons of sex scenes
Wish I was joking. I've done it for Macbeth and Artorias as well.
Share what you've got, I guess.
>>27366254
Jesus Christ, that's retarded.
Not footfag tier but close
The most stupid thing I've done while fapping is try to shove a PS3 controller up my ass.
>>27366404
lmao
i jerk off in public stalls
welp, the time has come
I finally got a gf, looks like the normies were right, the hype is real. sex is very nice.
all I had to do was be myself
don't ever forget robots its never too late. all I did was change my shit attitude and cut out all the junk food out of my life, and magically in 3 months I had a gf. amazing.
>>27366162
Bad move, never brag, not here.
Your words are vitriolic lipservice to lennies.
Why do it?
>>27366162
>Implying robots want any sort of interaction with real people
Get out
>>27366183
>lennies.
literally what?
>Why do it?
because I want other robots to not give up, because its worth it, were all gonna make it
>tfw you realize the only reason you have no gf is because you like to avoid everyone and don't care about meeting people, making friends, or care about going outside and socializing.
Finally a smart robot.
you take the minor acquaintances and small social interactions for granted until you go a month or longer without speaking to anyone
>>27366099
It's called schizoid personality disorder. Welcome to the schizo umbrella, there's a ton of schizos of various kinds on /r9k/.
FUCKING NORMIES AND THEIR PRIVILLEGES
Living the dream and still finds ways to complain. Someone murder this faggot for me.
I'm 19 M
Where's my wealthy nympho???
>>27366083
>and fuck her
This seems out of bounds with the overal persona of that post, and that's probably so because it's a troll post.
OP, you limp wrist motherfucker, you're a fag for not seeing this.
Proper sage actions were undertaken.
Happy birthday to the one who would be 27 today, happy birthday to the man who made me hit the weights 5 times a week, happy birthday to the man who made me shredded as fuark today.
Happy birthday to the father of aesthetics, Aziz Sergeyevich Shavershian. I wish you were still around, brah. Forever mirin.
>felt like he was 22 like it was yesterday
Rip
he gave his life so we can all make it anon. rip in peace
>>27365980
>to the man who made me hit the weights 5 times a week,
>to the man who made me shredded as fuark today.
And here you are still posting on /r9k/.
BRAH-VO
>be 26
>KHV
>5'4 manlet
I'm so scared of becoming a wizard please help me
>>27365915
I can't help you , OP... Because I'm a 31 y/o, khv...
>>27365915
are you at least good looking?
>>27365915
>24
>khv
>ugly as fuck
I'm definitely becoming a wizard. There's no avoiding it so I'm no longer scared.
