Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6936. page
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Bittersweet feels thread?
>Tfw can't jack off because losing virginity tomorrow
>>25235443
I recently lost my virginity. It was to a escort it was kinda nice
>>25235443
Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
I've just placed a Hex on you.
Have fun.
Go outside and say hi to your guests, faggot
but they just went to sleep, anon?
>>25235390
don't have any
I haven't received a gift in 10 years
>tfw ending christmas day listening to wham and drinking warm beer at 3 looking at things that trigger me
fuck i'm useless
>>25235369
Thanks you just reminded me I have whiskey and enough emotional problems to warrant drinking while I spend Christmas alone. This is an ass carved out of stone.
>>25235442
hey you wanna talk about anything buddy?pls
God fucking damn it. Do I really need to meet EVERYBODY? I know enough people! I don't need more acquaintances! Like, come on lady, we don't know each other. We don't have to talk! It's not required of us to do this, and you're ruining it now. Being strangers is a sacred thing and you just soiled it. Now we gotta do the smile and wave whenever I see you in your front lawn, and you'll give me the whole, "Ooh! You're back in town! Good to see you!" No it isn't! You don't give a shit about me, and that's perfectly okay! Please don't ever meet me!
How are you robots holding up?
Now that I'm older it's painfully easy to see in their faces that I'm just an ugly human being
Your stomach hurts, you need to poo.
But I won't let you near the loo!
Begone from here, young Pajeet.
To the designated shitting street!
Lmao post it on /int/
>>25235345
While I was reading that, I heard the dumb "ra ra ra" that that witch used to make. Now I wish I still had my n64
>My friend had a lot of different avatars. He used different designs of characters, all of which looked somewhat alike. They were all fine, and everyone liked them. I liked them too, I thought they were cute, I was never bothered by them. He alternated between them, and if he had a new one he'd show it to all of us immediately.
>Then one day, he uploads this. It made my blood run cold and sent chills down my spine. Pure, immaculate terror. I still can't explain why it does.
In the dream you zoom in, and inexplicably and confusingly, you feel the same unbound terror as the storyteller.
Picture is a masked Link, I didn't want to bother drawing the actual image. It somewhat closely resembles it.
Dream thread?
>>25235334
I have this one awful dream where I wake up everyday
it sucks senpai
>>25235366
What about that awful dream where you wake up?
Oh wait a second, that's real life.
>I'm such a secret chad I can tell women to go die and they still want cock
>>25235316
So what happened next? Don't leave us hanging bro.
>>25235394
She sent little emojis tryna be cute and I stopped responding
Women are terrible creatures, fuck them all dude.
>>25235316
"I'm dead" I colloquial for "I'm dying of laughter." Calm down OP, you ain't shit.
I made you a video :3
https://youtu.be/ghvQUfJ9dWQ
more xmas music
https://youtu.be/65mvAELWq_8
/pol/ invasion
BLOW THEM THE FUCK UP /r9k/
>Start many Joe rogan appreciation threads
>Spam Joe rogans most recent podcast uploaded 3 hours ago on XMAS EVE
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwHYqeN97oc
POL HATES JOE RAGON NOW ATTACK /r9k/
BOMB THEM WITH JOE ROGAN
Blox my sox pl0x
words that have literally ended your life.
(Looking at my normal driver license photo)
"Wow, you look so creepy."
>Life doesn't get better, and you'll probably never be happy. Especially you.
>Kill yourself
My mom btw. And we somehow still get along.
>How could anyone love you?
>Why don't you just [b urself] instead of judging other people? No one's perfect.
>
MOMMAAAAAA
OOOOOOHHHH
I DON'T WANNA DIE
SOMETIMES WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL
>>25235222
>*contemplative guitar solo*
I went on my normiebook as I do around this time of year to post Merry Christmas on the walls of my relatives and looked through the photos they've taken of me throughout the years. And my hair is fucking atrocious, I literally feel like dying, its like looking at a fucking mop, holy shit. These days I cut it down to fuzz every six weeks but the fact that these pictures will exist on the internet forever will haunt me until the end of time
>>25235207
At least you don't have a bad hairline with soft, straight hair. You can buzz it down and look decent, I will always be balding.
>>25235207
I know that feel. My hair is really fine but I always wanted long hair. I look back on my old pictures, and look like shit. Just buzz it and move on, you're probably young enought that it's nbd. Ask your parents and aunts/uncles for pictures of them when they were younger, they probably have terrible 70s-90s haircuts
There's not a thing you can do about the pics so might as well be stoic about it
>>25235471
Serious question here, do you ever consider the possibility of putting on a wig?
Where do I find some BBC?
>OP asks for BBC
>guy in pic has a microdick
???
>tfw the boss gets everyone gifts but forgets to give you one
I'm not even new or done anything shitty. It would've literally been the only praise I would receive this shitty Christmas too.
There are simply too many reasons to kill myself.
>>25235003
>Not getting your boss a small gift to genuinely thank him for everything he's done for you
>While also making him realize he forgot to get you something despite you actually being a good person, and making him feel deeply ashamed of himself on the inside
>>25235003
tsk tsk tsk, sorry there wagie
>>25235003
>forgets
What is Vicky doing this Christmas eve?
>>25234933
what are you doing this christmas eve?
