Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6932. page
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How do I make a Tinder bio that sounds interesting when in reality I'm not?
I'm just some fag who works two minimum wage part-time jobs, plays video games occasionally, and argues with people over the internet. Other than consuming media, I have no hobbies, nor do I have many friends.
>I'm just some fag who works two minimum wage part-time jobs, plays video games occasionally, and argues with people over the internet. Other than consuming media, I have no hobbies, nor do I have many friends.
There you go. Bonus points for honesty and doing everyone a favour by not wasting their time if they're not interested.
>relatives come over
>"Merry Christmas anon"
>"You too"
>"Here is your present"
>leave it for now and open it later
>it's a Douglas voucher
>what the fuck is Douglas
>google it
>it's some kind of perfume shop
>see literally no male products
Did they mix something up or is this some kind of message? I mean I'm not the type to complain about presents but this is just weird.
>>25239751
Just kindly ask them if it was a mistake.
It sounds pretty odd to me. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but if it were me in that situation and I didn't ask, I would think that it was some kind of elaborate plot.
>Give anon perfume
>Anon doesn't say anything, he must have kept it
Douglas has tons of male stuff
Parfums, cremes etc
>>25239970
>knows this information.
Gtfo normie
Good morning, wagecuck.
Merry X-mas.
>>25239434
How much do you make in USD per month on NEETbux?
t-thanks
>tfw I work today
>>25239441
i dunno but neets in the usa are on the same level as niggers
Do all these faggots who post about "boypussy" want to fuck the male ass or do they really want to be the "boypussy"?
Both for me 2bh
>Be me.
>Be 27.
>No friends.
>Wage slave.
>Still live at home.
>At the stage where I'm just going through the motions to keep up appearances with my parents.
>Depressed since 14.
>Thoughts of suicide daily.
>Never had the balls to go through with it.
How does one actually get the courage to just go out and end everything? I used to at least feel pain about my situation but now I just feel nothing.
>>25239411
Same here. No idea what to do desu.
>>25239411
You need to find some meaning in your life bro, find some goals you want to achieve and work towards. Its never too late.
e.g.
Stan Lee created his first hit comic title, 'The Fantastic Four,' just shy of his 39th birthday. In the next few years, he created the legendary Marvel Universe, whose characters like Spider-Man and the X-Men became American cultural icons.
Henry Ford was 45 when he created the revolutionary Model T car.
Oprah Winfrey's talk show started 1968 when Winfrey was 32 years old.
Sylvester Stallone became a household name when he was 30 years old
Martha Stewart first developed her catering business in 1976, when she was 35 years old.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was first published in the United States in 1998, when J.K. Rowling was 33 years old.
Action star Steven Seagal made his debut in Above the Law in 1988, when he was 36 years old.
Learn to believe in yourself.
Did you try seeing the doctor about it? Medications certainly help
GO BACK TO SLEEP, ANON!
YOU WON'T GET CHRISTMAS GIFTS IF YOU DO
>Is Jewish
Smh sin-pie
>be me 25 years old
>wake up to my stocking
>star wars toys in it
>cheap ones I didn't demand
>run down stairs and get pour the hot gravy mommy is cooking all over her head
>start throwing their presents on the fire
fucking cunt parents that will teach them
I did this last year when my mom got me the wrong xbox one game. I literally threw the game at her and went back to my room.
>>25239299
post pics of toys
>tell mommy I want a Titan X for Christmas
>she gets me a Teen Titans DVD
>scream at her about how she's fucking useless and needs to die
>punch her in the eye
>go back to my room and tell her to make me yummy dough rolls for her special boy
Fucking bitch
What do you think they're watching..?
>>25239155
THE MUMMY
> She is currently at his house pulling a ribbon off her clothes and telling him "The present is me".
Fucking bitch that is bullshit. No effort 0/10.
>however under her dress, he notices a bulge.
>>25239273
>he tries to escape but the door has vanished
>a large erect penis breaks forth from the creature's dress
>ex-history teacher tells me the story of how he broke up with his gf
>he was severely depressed for a year then the dumb aura of our class cheered him up tons
>one of his friends die of cancer
>"women come and go and friends stay, but what happens when those friends die? I'm scared anon, I don't want to be alone"
>he cries in my arms like a little baby
I have a feeling this guy is or is gonna become a robot real soon
anything I can do to help this poor bastard?
Have sex with him.
>>25239097
Introduce him to online internet communities so he has someone to talk to.
>>25239097
That's really heart-breaking. Be his friend, anon.
>wake up
>jack off to some disgusting porn
>eat some junk food
>watch an episode or two of random tv show
>go back to bed
>>25238888
Same, been going through all the episodes of Peep Show again
My auntie and her family are coming round our house on the 29th. What's a good believable excuse for a robot who never goes out to spend a day out of the house? I have a car.
Don't give an excuse.
>>25238865
MeREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEy christmas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szzVlQ653as
How do we know our lives aren't just failed games of Roy?
>>25238826
my name isn't Roy
>reddit: the tv show
>tfw trying to survive my relatives banter
Why do people feel entitled to tell me how to live my life?
Like you said, it's just banter.
Tell them that they're all idiots and that you're enlightened.
>>25238774
Because they think everybody has the same basic needs. Which is true to an extent, but they misinterpret and project normal needs onto people who don't fit the bill like yourself. They'll never understand because they will never be in your shoes. They lack the capacity for empathy to stop and think just how lame the humor they subject you to really is. Furthermore, they lack the culture to understand just how lame those jokes are.
Banter is banter, if it stings it sends a message. Both ways.
They think they are entitled to telling you this because they're "more experienced"
The list goes on, it's all bullshit. They're just as clueless as anybody else when it comes to living. That is ultimately why they will parrot the same garbage as any other family. If an r9kbot filter was put on all families most of them would be muted for the remainder of their miserable lives.
>meth addict cousin calls me fat
>I smile and tell him to brush his teeth
>tfw your post gets stickied on /tv/
Put it on your resume, right there next to all of your other accomplishments.
Merry Christmas big guys?
>>25238768
Right under creampieing your mom
Got it, thanks
