Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6938. page
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>muh alpha white genes
$10 says he could kick the shit out of you
It's the festive season, so why don't we get some love into our lives with a good old fashioned r9k cuddle-partner/gf/bf thread?
>Age
>Gender
>Sexual Orientation
>Location
>Physical Self Description/Body type
>3 Hobbies
>3 Dislikes
>What you want your future to look like
>Contact
Just stopping by to let you all know that I'm losing my virginity tomorrow to an easy 8/10. Hope this thread goes well for you all.
these threads are really awful and depressing if you're a straight male
>Christmas
Consumer holiday or time of familial cheer? Why not both eh
I like the new 2015 spin on it
Now its a political statement to say merry christmas.
I love progress
>>25233807
>le consumerism meme
>>25233903
>le things I don't like are memes meme
I finally found a girl but she's way smarter than me. I'm pretty sure that I only exist as a phase in her life too. What do I do?
I'm sorry, this was badly put together. What I mean is how can I stay interesting to someone like this?
Enjoy the Christmas break while it lasts wagecucks.
Boss needs his dick sucked first thing Monday morning. Don't be late.
My mother always works Christmas day.
She's coming over at 7pm for dinner.
>>25233747
Tic
o
c
Story of my life
>homeschooled all my life
>no social skills + autistic + OCD
>fat
>no friends
>constantly told females get bfs easily
>believe this lie
>get job to get schlonged + social life
>find out manager only hires chicks
>all my coworkers are bitchy high schoolers
>all the customers are old, gross, lecherous rednecks
>start to hope i'll get laid when i go to school
>go to uni
>no white guys except for a few chads
>everyone is Asian and Indian
>a few middle easterners too
>only attract middle easterners
>all lab partners are either gay, female or antisocial
>tfw never gonna get laid
>only option is to fuck a jihadi john lookalike
Should I get schlonged by jihadi john, r9k?
No, you should not.
>>25233668
why not, brah?
>>25233627
>believe this lie
>only attract middle easterners
>wahh its a lie even though I'm still receiving attention!
Nah fuck off adding exclusions like "well this race doesn't count" doesn't change the fact that you could get bfs easily any less truthful
> Christmas dinner at my grandmothers house tonight
> my fuckable as fuck cousin will be there
> going to snap creepshots of her with my phone
Any tips for pulling this off without getting caught? I been doing it for years but in retrospect I've relied almost entirely on luck to survive. I'd rather not lose my family.
Just b urself lad :^)
>>25233805
Already am. I just need new tactics to execute what I as myself would be doing anyway.
Ask her permission first then do it anyways if she says no
Tomorrow, the ham....
Jesus Christ, your ham :(
>>25233576
philistine, you don't know the joys of country ham
>family get together for Christmas
>they're all laughing and enjoying each other's company
>mfw I don't find anything they say or do funny
>mfw I think most of my family are all fake and lame
I hate family get togethers.
>when you don't go to family functions because of that one relative who you know you'll fight and possibly murder if they speak to you
You know the one.
You were in your mid 20s and working as a junior associate in a modest company. It might not be the most glamorour job that someone could have but it was the best you could do straight out of college. "Izumi, can you get this data to me by the end of today?"
"Yes!" Unfortunately, ever since you got the job you've been busy. Your life has revolved around pleasing your bosses to hopefully move up the company faster.
"I... I have to endure this for her." The only one that pops up into your mind was your beloved girlfriend. You've been with her for almost three years now and she was the only reason you can still smile at work. "I have to do this for Mai."
You knew that if it wasn't for your girlfriend, you would've quit this job a long time ago. However since you had big plans this year you had to show yourself worthy of her. "I'm going to ask her to marry me this year!" You made up your mind and your heart was motivated.
"Izumi, get this to me as well." The requests start pouring in especially after lunch.
By three in the afternoon, all you wanted to do was finally go home and relax. "Ah... Mai... I want to see you already..." You sigh out. However, the picture of Mai on your desk would have to do for now. Just then, you receive a text from her.
"Hey Izumi! How are you doing today? Are we still on for dinner after work? It is our anniversary tonight"
"Ah! That's right it was our anniversary today..." You thought to yourself.
[ ] "Yeah we are still on!" Try and sneak out of the office without anybody seeing you.
[ ] There's no way your boss will let you go early tonight. "Ah I can't." She usually drags you out to drink at the nearby bar.
[ ] Custom
>>25233363
[x] Custom
>send Mai a picture of my genitals.
>>25233363
[x] Custom
kill yourself for being a faggot tripfag
Hey anons, since its Christmas I thought I'd help you guys with your >tfw no gf problems.
I've never had a gf myself, but I've gotten very close to relationships and I think thats more than anyone on here can boast. Here are some tips that I think come in handy.
>If she doesn't respond to your message, send another later, preferably at night.
It shows dedication and persistence.
>Say "Sorry" often
Girls love a guy who can own up to their mistake.
>Always be prepared
I always keep a few pick-up lines/conversation starters written on a notecard in my wallet, just in case I see a cutie.
>Fashion is key
Go to /fa/ if you need help.
>Be honest
If I were to ever get a girl's number, I'd first send her a list of all my pros and cons. Like I said, girls love honesty.
Hope this helps and Merry Christmas.
Oh god I can't tell if you're trolling to screw robots over with women, or if your sincerely this bad at women. Either way, made me cringe/10.
>>25233381
It's a troll. The first three are deliberately the opposite of what you should do and the last two are generic pieces of accepted advice to fool stupid robots into thinking they're all true.
>tfw spending christmas alone since my parents are spending their christmas away from home
>>25233251
Did they do that to get away from you?
Tfw Christmas is bday but everyone in family celebrates only Christmas and nobody wishes you happy birthday.
>>25233269
No. They just know I like being alone.
>tfw want to kill myself on Christmas
Same feel bro. Wanna meet up and save a bullet?
What are you hoping to get for christmas, brobots?
Peace and quiet
>>25233086
Left alone.
A GS puppy. I know I aint going to get one, but I wish I did so I can have an actual friend and companion in life instead of being lonely all the time.
How are out fellow Robros handling it
Grandparents are on the way
Brother just arrived with a roast duck andhis gf
>>25233021
>tfw all other aussbot are to busy being roomier with their families to post in your thread
>>25233124
>tfw hiding in the toilet posting from a phone and auto correct keeps fucking your shit up
![Smithfield_country_ham[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/wWgjnGM.jpg "Smithfield country ham[1]")
