Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 293. page
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>wake up
>jizz in my boxers
Has anyone else had a wet dream that was so good you actually manage to ejaculate?
>>29898142
only once when I was in middle school. Dreamt I was fucking this girl I knew in a public bathroom and came hard, woke up as it was happening. Unfortunately I was at my friend's house so I blew the biggest load of my life directly into their sheets
>>29898142
Only leaking pre-cum.
Glad more then that has never happened as my father tends to wake me 5 minutes before my alarm goes off.
Had you gone a long time before fapping when you had that wet dream OP? I've literally never had one before, longest I've gone without ejaculating is 16 days.
This is your chance robots. Well some of you at least, the ones who still care. I made it. I make about 2-3 million a year now conservatively and own a software and hardware development company. We're growing fast. I promised myself a few years ago that I will come back to /r9k/ and try to save some of the people still here, because at that time in my life I wanted there to be someone that saved me. Well here I am, if no one replies to this, I don't know, I may try again in a week, but I may just leave forever.
What I need you to do is tell me your life story, tell me why you deserve to be saved, and how I can save you.
I am willing to
1) Give some of you jobs working at my studio, things like game design or other such jobs
2) Give you some money
3) Give you a lot of money
This depends on how touched I am by your stories. Alright well that's it, post them and I can change your life.
gib money
I was raped by 7 niggers down a back alley one time.
The horror I experienced led me to eat my own mother.
Now I want your stuff. Give.
Been fucking emotionally beaten and verbally abused by everyone in my life. Alienated from society and social standing since middle school. I grew up with no friends and I still don't have any friends. This website is one of four that I browse and ever since my NEETbux expired I've been struggling to keep my normie job as a cashier at a gas station. I just want to be a normie and feel a woman's love. 29 year old KHHV and I regret not being more open to the romantic advancements guys gave me because women has no interest in me (and still don't, even at my shit job). I just want to hit it off with someone at a party of something, but I'm too poor to go to clubs or anything like that. Guess I'll wallow in self pity till the day I die.
does anyone know what these weird things are?
i have a wall-mounted heater in my computer room, and earlier, when i wanted to turn up the heat, there was like 60 of these things right under the heater. i vacuumed the entire room afterwards and thought it was over with. but already the next day, i saw at least 20 more at the exact same place.
what the hell are they? some kind of insect egg?
for scale, they are about 2-3 millimeters long.
>>29898119
rice krispies
>>29898119
you have squirrels or other similar rodents in or near your house
Potatolings
>Know people on this board and IRL who have abused cough syrup to get high off of DXM
>Get sick for the first time in months
>Decide to get some Wal-Tussin
>Down 8oz of the shit
>For the first 2 hours feel nothing
>Start to feel drunk without the shitty physical feeling you get when you're drunk
>All of a fucking sudden my scalp fucking itches like crazy
>The itching feels so fucking good I've never itched and felt like I should keep itching
>Stop for a second to feel what is the worst burning sensation I've felt
>Poke the skin on my arm
>It feels like it's on fire and knives are poking it
>Freak out and decide to go lay down
>All of a sudden entire body is bright red and feels like it's on fire
>The trip from the DXM starts to kick in
>I'm literally zoning in and out of my mind as I spend a couple minutes feeling on fire and then a couple of minutes in my head
>In my head I hallucinate a sexy pepe frog in an all white 2 piece pole dancing to this 100 flowers song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYPDCzhXMlE
>The pepe strip is interrupted by hot and cold flashes
>Muscles are becoming so tight that body parts are starting to cramp
>Go in and out of these states for 6 hours
Why the fuck would anyone trip on cough syrup did I have an allergic reaction?! DXM was the only active ingredient btw.
>>29898062
try taking a normal medicinal dose of diphenhydramine beforehand, it's an antihistamine that might help with the itch
Do some research and find out if you're actually allergic, don't take shit you're allergic to
Usually DXM is very comfy for me, I dunno what went wrong for you.
something in that wal-tussin made me itch like fuck too. stick to delsym, robo dm, and robo caps.
t. experienced dexxer
Itching is very common on DXM. Just lay back, put some good music on (it makes music 100x better - pretty much the best drug at this) and just zone out. You'll be back to normal in about 8 hours after you took it.
What are robots goals?
abolish private property, the state and all constituted authority
>>29898055
I don't get this chart.
>>29898055
get money
get comfy house and turn it into a fireproof, soundproof, peopleproof, outsideproof gaming fortress with god-tier network security
open steam and never look back
>go to work
>come home 12 hours later
>TV is on
>TV automatically turns off after idling for an hour
All right. What the fuck is going on? How is this possible. I checked the house, no one is here.
this is the way the people in the TV are actually watching you
>>29898013
check the power settings.
it's there to not waste power in case you fall asleep
How the fuck does a TV know if it's idle or not? It has no way of knowing if someone is watching whatever it is showing unless it has a camera or some shit.
Okay, let's get this straight, once and for all. There is no such thing as cyborgs, failed normies or any other hallucinated mix; being a 'robot' simply means having a very specific mindset, not more and definitely not less.
A person can only be referred to as being a 'robot' when that individual distances themselves from their own emotions by attempting to rationalize everything, including themselves. They perceive the world as a system of repeating patterns and they do not see any reason to participate, thus making themselves take a great distance from 'reality'; understanding that life is nothing but the subjective interpretation of information processed by the very own senses. If needed, the 'robot' is able to participate in conversations and engage in discussions, usually with a very calm and relaxed state of mind due to their natural distance to reality. To others, such a person's way of speaking/writing may appear overly precise and down to the point, avoiding sugarcoating, beating around the bush and pointless decoration. However, a 'robot' does not see any need or feel the desire to do so most of the time and thus prefers to stay silent instead, consciously spending more time inside of his own mind. A 'robot' is only very rarely capable of truly experiencing emotions in its purest form and therefore does not experience pure sadness (as an example), but rather emptiness, purposelessness or similar.
Typical robot disorders are:
- Asperger's syndrome
- Depersonalization
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Schizotypal personality disorder
Common false myths:
- robots must be male (false, nonsense, self-projection)
- robots must be virgins (false, nonsense, self-projection)
- every robot wants to have a girlfriends (false, generalization, stereotype)
- every robot is socially inept (false, generalization, stereotype)
- every robot is a narcissist (false, generalization, stereotype)
- every robot is a NEET (false, generalization, stereotype)
What if one perceives that for the sake of his own mental health, satisfaction and emotional wellbeing, participating in normalfag activities is beneficial and thus attempts to partake?
>females can be robots
fuck outa here whiteknight, you aint scoring here
>>29898073
That usually indicated that you're a robot as you have rationalized your instinctive desire to socialize, making it rather appear as a logical solution to a problem. However, if the lack of success bothers you, you are not a robot, but just a normie using logic.
>>29898090
>memeing
fuck out of here normie, back to your reddit board
Any other bots remember Jugheadposting?
posting rarejuggies
What an absolute mad manthis is original
>mfw no one remembers jugheadposting
>Dad calls you a useless piece of shit
>He still cares about impressing his parents as an adult.
Who gives a fuck what he thinks? He's just another guy.
How many people here have asshole fathers? My hypothesis is that overbearing fathers create robots.
it's good to be useless because it means that you aren't putting other people other yourself
>nothing is more to me than myself
86% dissaprove of Janitors on /sp/
http://www.strawpoll.me/10719881
Isn't that crazy? Shouldn't it result in a change?
>>29897916
14% actually approve of those muppets?
>>29897945
Perma general lurkers who treat them like subreddits
/sp/ independence day soon
I'm tired of being a NEET shut in piece of shit. I'm going to goad my parents into taking out a $20,000 loan so I can leave the country and establish myself somewhere else. Critique my plan.
Your parents aren't going to get that money for you and even if they did you wouldn't know what to do with it.
>>29897910
>Critique my plan.
Your parents say no.
>>29897910
thats a stupid idea and you'd be better off just ending it instead of soaking up even MORE of their money
tbqh the only people that have a problem with being a neet is dumb normalfags.
So kill yourself regardless
Why haven't you made an hallucination girlfriend?
Because I have a real girlfriend.And another girl that is desperately trying to steal me away.
I'm too much of a scientific thinker to have a suspension of disbelief great enough to make a tulpa. I wish I didn't. Tulpas seem like the greatest shit ever and I'm always lonely.
>>29897849
the better question is why haven't you anon?
Hello r9k i need helpp
my grandma will die this week but i am not sure am i supposed to feel sad? i dont really feel sad because we never visited maybe twice a year.
my mum is very crying but i dont i kinda feel sad for my autistic dad tho.
pic not related
>>29897759
Please tell me you took out an insurance policy on her with an expensive premium.
>>29897960
eurocuck here manErectus maximus
>>29897759
I didn't feel sad when my dad died, I didn't feel sad when my mum died. I kinda don't know what feelings are
>BEEEEEEP
>HONK HONK HONK
>BEEEP
Your favorite sound, the morning commute, is going on right now, wagecuck. Better hurry up and join in.
Post your current face and room Neet. I want to see if you are really in such good condition as you claim also time stamp or Gtfo
>>29897758
buttmad wagie detected
>>29897725
But I ride a bicycle
Who else has a lot of trouble on tinder?
always sunny in philedelphia?
>>29897704
Top kek my friend...
I don't use tinder, I found my girlfriend in real life nigga.
>>29897704
>juggledom
you're better off alone
