Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 291. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 291. page
>Patient comes into the surgery
>Well aware the surgery is about to close
>Starts listing off a load of trivial symptoms
>Is frustrated when told that the surgery is closing for today
>Wants me to give him an appointment first thing tomorrow morning
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
>>29899372
Harold has given enough lethal doses of morphine for one day and he needs some rest now
please never stop
you make my day every day
>going at closing time
He got what he deserved
Hey you
Yeah, you
Post some lyrics from the song you wrote ITT
We'll tell you if they suck
>>29899328
Nah... You guys are dicks.
>>29899328
Working on this shitty rap song in my brain
>some people call me racist, sexist or misogynistic, but I just consider myself realistic
>>29899407
It could sound better, here let me try ghost writing for you a bit.
>Some people call me racist, sexist or misogynistic, but I just consider myself autistic
There you go old chap! Free of charge just this once
Let me use dbz as an example to disprove some misconceptions about what it means to be truly a robot
Because i for one see extremely hideous beast that are happy couples when im out in public, i see the ugliest manlets with 6's for girlfriends
I see fat girls with chads for boyfriends, i see some of the nastiest people on earth with extreme deformities as couples
LOOKS DO NOT DEFINE A ROBOT,LOOKS DO NOT DEFINE ROBOTS
If you think you're a robot because how you look, this board has lied to you
Normies are some of the worst looking people but they just have confidence
>android 18 (fembot)
>likes 5 ft 2 manlet bald headed weakling krillen
>android 18 changes her self perspective when she realizes females can not be robots so she becames a stacy for normie krillen
Fuck off robot status has nothing to do with outside appearance, if ur ugly that that you're plain ugly now fuck off my board and never complain about genetics ever again u fucking subhuman filth
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You for reals bro?
Dbz is an anime bro
Krillin is 5'2? Nigga what? That motherfucker looks at most 3'0
OP is right. I have seen many animu where the shy, timid loner gets marriage proposals and undivided attention from literal 10/10 qt girls.
Therefore, our perception of reality must be wrong and warped.
When normies say hi to me, I tend to give them a nod and smile instead of saying hi back. Does it offend them?
>>29899203
Only if they are having a good day
>>29899203
Naaa, youu're fiiiine...
Normies are really into smiling! Just smile at them and they'll be happy.
>>29899693
my face twitches trying to hold a smile because I don't smileever
>itt we pretend it didn't go all wrong and we have a normal life
So guys, how's work at the job going?
Pretty great, I love my job! Thanks for asking. Me and my bf will get married soon, we might even adopt a child.
How are you doing yourself? How is your family?
>>29899165
Thanks for asking me anon. It's going fine, but i am not working at the moment and im in university. The weather is really nice, so me and some friends and some girls were out chilling, bathing, and relaxing. So now i'm just here chilling on my phone quick before i'm heading outside again
Boy, I sure love this warm water and electricity and apartament that I own!
Who else /twisted fucking psychopath/ here?
>Walking home minding my own business
>About 8 10 year old normies started taking the piss out of me (I'm 18)
>Ignored them and kept walking until one asked if he could have my phone
>Told him he could "try taking it if he wanted"
>These retarded 10 year olds started saying "ayyy lads he thinks he can take all of us"
>tfw can't be bothered with this, kept walking
>Eventually quite far away from them when one runs up to me on his own
>Tell him to fuck off, remember that he was about half my size
>He slaps my ass as a "funny" joke, absolutely triggered by this point
>Psssssshyou'regonnaregretthatkiddo.jpg
>Grab his head and knee him full force in the face, he starts screaming and blood was coming out
>His normie friends run off, the kid was on the floor crying
>Walk away while absolutely shitting myself, as soon as I'm out of sight I leg it
Shouldn't of made it personnel, kidd
>>29899150
holy shit op u kneed a kid in the face u r so stronk and have gained my respekt xD xD
>>29899150
Nice
>fine china to the bagina
>>29899170
Shut the fuck up. OP is a robot tortured by society like the rest of us. Those kids fucking deserved it.
SO I LIKE TO PICK MY FUCKING NOSE AND EAT MY BOOGERS.
SO WHAT?
DON'T SHAME ME FOR IT YOU FUCKING NORMIES.
You're disgusting, dude. Stop doing that, please.
that's fucking disgusting
kill yourself, faggot
>>29899051
>>29899098
this is proof that normies infested this board
If you dont eat boogers you can't be a robot
How can you love a girl when you can't even take care of yourself?
An entire board, checkmated
>>29898948
This is how I know I'll be forever alone. It's the easy option..
>>29899110
What's the easy option? Not taking caremof yourself? Laziness?
>I'll never succeed so I won't bother trying
Why is this attitude so frowned upon by normies? For some people, it literally does make their life better if they don't try. When failure is a 100% guarantee and will have lasting effects, then why not try to avoid it by not trying?
>but if u don't fail u never learn!
Yes, I learn something, but it's too late and my failures have barred me from further opportunities in life while also adding humiliation and disdain from others. What a lesson I've learned there.
>>29898914
>When failure is a 100% guarantee
here's the flaw in your argument
>>29898920
How?
Original moot
>>29898914
There is no "failure". There is only degeneration, stagnancy, or improvement.
The idea that you have a 0% chance to improve is ridiculous.
So I just lost my virginity to a transsexual prostitute and I don't know if I should be proud I worked up the courage to, or ashamed of what went down
>be me last night
>2 weeks away from turning 21
>don't want to be that 21 year old who has never had sex
>resolve myself to do it with a prostitute
>originally planned to do it with a girl, but then came across this one listing
>as far as trannies go she's a 9/10
>Brazilian, proper tits, hot face, narrowish shoulders (only turn off was the big hands)
>decide to just visit her since I've had an interest in trannies for years
>after downing some vodka for courage call her to make an appointment
>30 minutes later I'm at her apartment
>Tell her this is my first time and asked if she could take the lead
>she smiles and says sure 'Just tell me what you're into'
>pause
>realize this might be my only chance to live out my domination fantasy
>tell her to just be real rough with me and dominate me, make me her slave
>afraid she'd be weirded out but she seems happy
cont..
>Exact words 'It's not every day I get to dominate a virgin'
>feel relaxed that she isn't repulsed by my virginity and think all will be okay
>what follows is 20 minutes of extremely degrading and horrible sex followed by 10 minutes of humiliation
>as soon as I put my clothes off she pretty much rapes me for 20 minutes telling me what to do
>it was not how I had pictured it
>I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally but to afraid to tell her to stop
>literally butt raped for a good 10 minutes - pure agony
>after she finished she jacked me off
>as I get up to leave she pushes me back on the bed saying there's 10 minutes left
>SHE'S THIS INTO DOMINATION
>literally forces me to live on her bed and suck her balls for 10 minutes while she verbally abuses me
>come home and cry myself to sleep
>wake up, post this
Don't ever give into the tranny stuff kids, it's not worth it. Before this I could probably maybe pass as a normie sometimes, but now I am irreversibly emotionally damaged.
>>29898825
I thought the robot existed to prevent this kind of shit
fuck off with your pasta
>being 6 foot tall
Why did God do this to me
>tfw 6'3"
>like tall girls around my height
>all of them are either lardasses, twigs or Aundre the friendly giant
I just want a nice, average girl who's around my heigh in heels
Just date "down"...
I wish I had a 6-foot Amazon woman gf. I could be the little spoon.
>walk around the house in briefs
>briefs are tight so you can see my bulge
>sometimes catch my mom looking at it
>feel awkward afterwards
anyone else know this feel? pic unrelated
>sister jumps on my back
>feel boobs pressing into me
>go to female barber as a kid
>she leans in to line me up in the front
>crotch rests on the backside of my hand which is on the end of the armrest
I always let her cut my hair just so I could cop a feel
tfw no llama bro
>knowing I never even had a chance to begin with makes me feel alot better and takes alot of stress off of my back.
>tfw "what if" and "it's too late now" mindset
>tfw 27yo virgin in one month from today
it's over
>>29898869
Imagine how awesome life would be if you could just disable your ego and fears for a little while. You'd be a productive move making maniac.
If you were asexual could you get on with your life?
>>29898763
I'm asexual.
>inb4 triggered autists
It's nice, I guess. I'm used to living this way, though. I never really got the whole girlfriend thing that people here caring so much about.
>>29898793
>caring.
Fucking hell, I wish you could edit posts on here.
>>29898763
It might help. But even if I didn't want to have sex, I think I would still really want a gf though (because that's really not just about sex). I don't know how asexual works desu.
Am i the only one here who actually enjoys their job?
I love unwinding after a long day of work knowing that I earned my keep.
It's a primal feeling that i imagine cavemen felt after coming home from a successful hunt.
>>29898754
>It's a primal feeling that i imagine cavemen felt after coming home from a successful hunt.
I get the same feeling when I shit on the floor.
delusional wagies are out of control today, is it some kind of normie yank holiday or something?
>>29898754
I only get that feeling after doing physical work, being mentally exhausted doesn't do it for me.
