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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1817. page


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I wish /r9k/ was less about women and more about robot lives and feels
22 posts and 6 images submitted.
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"Robot feels" revolve around not having a girlfriend.
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>>29190213
the normies claim yet another board for their boring shitposts

it's a sad day to be a robot
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>>29190213
i would like if r9k made a toehoe sticky thread purely for comfy pics even though i know jp has toehoe stuff

What are the various virgin signs that a girl can see in a guy?
71 posts and 8 images submitted.
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1. He's ugly
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Girl here, biggest sign is when he uses smiley emoticons.
> haha that sounds great :)
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He does the virgin walk and has the virgin voice

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Are you at least white, /r9k/?
37 posts and 16 images submitted.
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OP is not white
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>>29190131
Natuerlich bin ich weiss, Volksgenosse.
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>>29190080
Well, rounding up from half I am...

Why are there so many gay people on here? Aren't you guys supposed to be less than 1% of the population?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>29190067
I think there may be alot more gays on this earth then actual straight people. I figured out I was pretty much a faggot two weeks ago.
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Because gays are more likely to have mental disorders. Also being gay is literally hell, it's like your a living meme.
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>>29190067
Pretty much all women are bisexual.

3-4% of men are actual homos

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Ants are terrible

>6 years ago
>on holiday in italy around april/ may that year
>we booked a small house to stay in, it looked fantastic
>on arrival we notice there's a shit ton of ants walking all around the house and decide to get some ant traps and bugspray to put near the doors
>fastforward to evening, drinking a pretty good lemon soda i found in a shop nearby.
> i only drink half of it and put the rest of it on the counter next to my bed.
>forget about it and fall asleep
The next morning i wake up calmly, it's a nice day and the sun is already shining through the window
>as I'm slowly waking up i glance down to find about ten ants crawling over the top of the blankets
>throw the blankets on the floor in shock, only to reveal about 200 ants swarming all over my body and bed
>absolutely freak the fuck out and jump out of bed yelling and trying to shake them off
>look back and see a nest worth of ants on and around the pillow aswell
Only then i realise the floor is completely swarmed with thousands of ants
>panicmode
>take off all clothes and grab my stuff
>mfw the can was knocked over at night and dripped all over the bag
>floor black of ants underneath
>decide to bail and sprint out of the house completely naked and screaming
>mfw house owners with little kids are sitting in the yard
>mfw everyone thinks I'm insane
>kids screaming, me screaming, parents screaming in italian
>had to book a hotel after that day
>still have ant nightmares to this day

Never again
7 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>29189973
jesus christ
the worst I've ever had is when I could feel a tickling sensation on my stomach and chest and when I whipped back the sheets I had three spiders walking all over me
>>
>>29189973

>be fast asleep in my shitty apt
>while I sleep, bigass carpenter ants have found a crack in the floorboards and have started exploring the room
>one of them climbs onto my pillow and I guess I roll over on top of it
>it starts biting the fuck out of my neck
>wake up with horrible stinging pain on my neck
>slap at it
>feel something attached to my neck, pain increases
>try to wipe it off
>doesn't fucking wipe off
>have to scrape it off my neck with my fingernails
>turn on the light to see what the FUCK that was
>huge black ant curled up in the center of my bed where I flung it
>mfw I realize there are dozens all over the room, coming out of a tiny crack in the floorboards
>no sleep that night

I dislike ants.
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Once I was fapping and I saw an ant on my desk.

I came on it and it drowned in my jizz.

Why not just be gay?
34 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I am, but I lack the 8x6" penis of my imagination need to stretch out black bp to an unrecognizable mess.
>>
>>29189958
>semi-regular hemorrhoid's
>fat, body hair, bottom
>only want a bear or also fat daddy
>>
cute feminine boys are harder to find than cute girls

masculine men aren't sexy.

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Anyone got cringe?
I'll start mine.

>on a night out
>drink too much
>some woman is all over me
>fuck it why not
>dancing with her
>can't remember anything else
>wake up the next morning
>some QT just burst into the room wearing pyjamas saying "mum wake up, Craig is here"
>I'm naked with some MILF, pretty disorientated
>QT eyes me up for a moment as MILF gathers herself
>shit
>no idea who Craig is
>MILF is married to him
>I put on some clothes
>QT says "come with me and play along"
>go downstairs
>Craig is by the back door having a cigarette
>QT asks me if I want a drink
>ok
>go outside
>QT brings me coffee
>leads me to the bench
>cuddles up to me
>we have a cigarette together
>Craig asks if we had a good night out
>yeah
>"just make sure you have protection"
>thanks?
>QT is sat on my lap cuddling me
>QT calls Craig "dad" and tells him that mum will be out to talk in a bit
>Craig leaves
>QT tells me that MILF was in the process of divorcing Craig and he is trying to save the marriage
>I fucked MILF
>I felt terrible
>QT asks for my facebook and says we should get coffee
>dated QT for 6 months and watched her parents argue and get divorced
>she never brought up that I fucked her mother, always told people we met on a night out
54 posts and 9 images submitted.
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Jesus fuck, that's a topkek right there
>>
>>29189905
cheers man helps to talk abt it kinda funni now
>>
Dayum nigga

I just got out of prison after 18 months in for plotting a school shooting. Ask me whatever you want.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>29189819
How long did it take to get up to date on the freshest memes?
>>
when did you realize youre a faggot piece of shit for wanting to kill innocent people instead of just putting one in your dome?
>>
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When should we avoid school?

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Is it true that white bois just want to be asian gurls?
115 posts and 41 images submitted.
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>>29189814
I want to be a cute white girl desu
>>
>>29189814
>>29189854
I just want to be a girl. even brown one is fine tbqhfamsenpai.
>>
I'm not a mentally deranged degenerate so no I don't want to be the inferior sex

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But I'll ask it anyways: Does anyone here know where to obtain hashish in the United States of America?

Weed is a very weak drug for me, it doesn't get me high. So I was wondering if I could try the stronger stuff.. Hashish is still weed, isn't it? It's just weed with a higher potency, right?

If anyone knows where I could find hashish, please tell me.
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>29189641
make it yourself, protip
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>>29189641
Weed is retarded. Grow up.
If you want stronger effects stop smoking every single fucking day and do it in moderation.

Also saying weed is a weak drug is stupid since you can just smoke more...
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>>29189671
How do you do that, guy?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQnpi3ixwOU
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Pretty feel-ish, in my opinion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeWhd3dcplM
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Warren Zevon - She's too good for me

Dave Mathews - Some Devil

Ryan Adams - I see monsters

Moto boy - Beat heart

Bayside - Don't call me peanut
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>>29190950
Oh and can you guys tell me what you think of these songs after listening. Thanks

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I want to ask a girl out who works at my office, but I'm a beta spineless pussy. Wat do?

I'm on lunch break right now.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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What's that shit about asking out women you work with? That sounds like a bad fucking idea.

You don't shit where you eat.
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The ugly girl and Chad should switch places
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>>29189515
I'd swap ugly woman and attractive man.

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>Daddy, why does my kindergarten teacher Miss Schlomostein say that I have to give up my pubescent aryan maidenhood as reparations to Tyrone
>I told her that I was waiting for a traditional European marriage to a traditional European man but she started calling me a bigoted Nazi and said that if I didn't let every little boy of color run a train on my tiny ass then I might as well be a cross burning kkk plantation owner

What do
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Kill yourself. How many times are you going to post this same low-quality, low-intellect shitty bait?
>>
>>29189495
Spotted the tumblr SJW femcunt

Go fuck some more niggers, you fucking piece of shit
>>
>>29189547
Angry bitter underaged virgin gonna angry bitter underaged virgin.

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>trips will die in their sleep dreaming about being with their oneitis
>Dubs will shit themselves at a family meal
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>29189376
>tfw my chad brother is visiting today
>we will have a family meal
>constipated
Please be trips
>>
>>29189376

mommy is visiting this weekend. lets see how it goes.
>>
>tfw cousin's wedding tomorrow

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what is your fav hair color for a girl?
24 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>29189358
Whatever this is

Fuck your originality
>>
>>29189358
Whatever her natural color is. I care 10 times more about personality and her capacity for feelings/ care. Bonus points if shes intellectual and has a desire to learn/ for knowledge, I dont expect her to be a brainiac, just to have thag intellectual side. So as long as its her natural color and shes a good person then thats perfect. I care more about whats under her hair then the color.

Liking her natural color instead of chasing some media ideal is attractive too. If she decides to dye it though I wouldnt care just as long its because it makes her feel good and not because she thinks she needs to. Thats important. My favorite color would be auburn/ reddish brown, its hard to describe and is rare naturally so I dont really care about it. 2nd is natural black hair/brunette or whatever blend of those two. 3rd is like this pic >>29189526 where its multi tone blonde brunette
>>
>>29189358
Fuck off. 95% of women have black hair. There are women out there that aren't white. And then "robots" go around and act like women only want chad. Fuck you guys.

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