Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2667. page
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>"I'm not the guy you're replying too, but even I think you're a fucking moron".
>I am that guyWho else /devilish/?
>>28705793
I need more context OP
>>28705793
I need more of these rare pepes OP
This is one of my favorite argumentation tactics. It's gotten a little harder to pull off with the poster count implemented, though.
How long do you think you could keep a facade up? Could you take up the identity of a successful normal person, and start introducing yourself to people (especially girls) as that new person?
Has anyone tried this?
>>28705735
I dont think I could keep my autism hidden for a very long time.
>>28705801
You don't have to. Consider the following identity:
>You are a successful med student who is slightly autistic and weird, but you have friends that you play indoor soccer with on every weekend, and your girlfriend is really into anime. You don't like to go clubbing, but you friend works as a promoter in a club so you get invited out with him and the rest of your buddies.
There. I just made an identity for you where slipping up and getting a bit autistic doesn't hinder anything. Think you could pull off something like this?
>>28705841
If I start lying to normies about how I have a girlfriend and how Im studying medicine then the lies will just get me back eventually.
>mfw just took ritalin 30 minutes ago
>no longer a pussy
>confident like a rockstar
>normies treat me like one of them
>anxiety is dead
Why arent you on this?
too expensive for keeping using this drugs
i rather keep being mentally ill but being able to afford the things my little brother ask me to buy to him
>says he feels like a rockstar
>is shitposting on r9k
lol what are you doing here man go outside and accomplish shit if you're so le limitless
>>28705804
>being this sensitive
Im waiting for my profesor to get here, which should be around 5 minutes mayne we'll talk later on here theres many like you anyway
>be me, 5 years old
>in kitchen alone, playing with random shit
>make my way over to the toaster
>empty crumb tray into cup, add water until consistency of oatmeal
>should i try it?
>i try it
>oh shit
>it's not bad
>do the same thing the next day
>and the next day
>...
>20 years later, present day
>still drink toast-crumb water every day as a comfort thing
>still live with parents
>parents never found out (or never told me they did)
>only ever missed one day while on eighth grade field trip to washington dc, couldn't sleep that night
>when i slept over at friends houses in middle school, i'd sneak into their kitchen at night and raid their toasters
>don't think i can ever stop now
what the fuck do i do, /r9k/? i realize that i need to stop if i ever want to live a normal life
You honestly expect me to believe that your toaster tray fills with crumbs every single goddamned day? What, do you toast a daily loaf?
>parents never found out (or never told me they did)
"Honey, the crumb tray in the toaster is empty."
"That can only mean one thing."
the fuckin reddit force in this thread
Get comfy with us at comfy.serveminer.com
We play Minecraft like degenerates and build comfy shit and enjoy ourselves
>>28705602
Sorry lads I made a mistake, it's comfy.serverminer.com
>>28705602
Email [email protected] for a spot in the whitelist
And take a good hard look at our beautiful city
>>28705602
Details of our server:
- Bukkit 1.9.2 but has a nice Vanilla feel to it
- Plugins: LockettePro, Orebfuscator, CoreProtect, Essentials and other admin based addons.
- Server location: Canada
- Capacity: 20 players
- Online for more than three weeks
>brushed your teeth
>took a shower
>talked with another human IRL
>changed your bedding
last night
today
about two hours ago
probably a month
this morning
this morning
2 hours ago
a month ago?
>This morning after I woke up
>This morning after I woke up
>10 minutes ago I'm on my lunch break right now
>last week when I did laundry
Feels good not being a filthy animal.
>boss finds the resignation letter
>>28705514
ok, I'll bite, why was there a resignation letter in the first place?
>sister finds her fleshlight
>>28705528
>Newfag found the 4chan thread
ITT: Make up advice which is kind of unhelpful and meaningless but sounds deep enough that people will think you're wise for saying it
>Don't try hard to succeed, but try hard for the sake of trying.
>When you're in the bathroom taking a shit, think about the long journey the turds take to get to wherever it's going to return to the earth. And then think to yourself about the complex ways you'll have to go, before you head where your shit goes.
It's not gay is the balls touch, but if the balls touch so be it.
>When you think about starting a thread think about all the time NEETs all over the world will waste reading it.
>That people will think you're wise for saying
You guys already fucked that up. Shouldn't expect any less from r9k, though...
fembots, would you let yourself get benis'd by a horse if you had the chance?
no, because i don't fuck things that can't consent.
>>28705488
>consent
Nice meme you got there
>>28705451
>fucking animals
>letting animals fuck you
Degenerate.
Do any other Robots have a dick fetish? I think I've developed mine from watching too much porn. It's also possible that I'm bisexual or bicurious, but I don't know.
>fantasize about sucking dick
>have stuck things in butt, feels alright
>occasionally jerk to shemale pron and wank to the thought of gobbling cock
>am not attracted to at least 95% of men
>can't imagine I'd enjoy kissing any man
>not even slightly enamored with the male form
>would never want to date a guy or be seen in a sexual or romantic way with one in public, ever
>have never had feelings for a man
The deformed fantasies getting no pussy can do to a man
>>28705460
Didn't mention this in the OP because I didn't want to attract the "reeeee normie get out" crowd, but whatever - bring it on.
I have a girlfriend and have slept with several dozen women. I am by no means a beautiful man, but I have not been deprived of pussy for than a week or two for the last five years.
>Whenever I get horny butt feels empty, like it needs to be filled
>Can't masturbate without something in my butt anymore
>Self insert as the sub servicing dicks in almost every doujin
>The idea of my tongue wrapped around the sweatiest, unwashed, smegma coated, putrid smelling dicks makes me ridiculously stiff
>Fantasized about being pounded by a big one several times today already
I've had a cock fetish since I first started fapping--the first thing I fapped to was futanari. But lately it's gotten out of control. I need a big stinky NEET dick or I'll go insane.
>the year is 2016
>still play minecraft single player
>the year is 2016
>Reimu isn't real
>>28705403
This hurts so bad. Maybe we should just take the shortcut to Gensokyo.
>playing minecraft
>ever
i mean i guess its ok if youre like 10 years old
Tell me your experiences with attention whores
>be 18 and virgin
>be in the last year of High School
>be the unpopular/outsider dude
>try to flirt Stacies
>always get rejected cause they always want Chads
>>28705336
>try to flirt with stacy
it was your fault
bumping because im curious
>>28705336
>don't know how to make friends my whole life
>obviously a loser if this is the case
>decide to start flirting with strangers all of a sudden in college
>I'm apparently good at it and attractive
>"this isn't a prank for youtube is it?"
>"you're not just trying to sell me something are you"
you never know till you try. Just make sure to flirt with people who don't know about your loser reputation
>tfw she only wants to spend time with you when there's not a better alternative
>tfw she doesn't answer your calls anymore
>Accidentally told a girl in class who was interested in me that I'm gay
>No way to take it back since it's too late and now the whole class knows
>Everyone now thinks I'm gay and have no interest in girls
>I'm actually not gay I fucking hate faggots
>Tfw completely ruined my chances to get a gf this semester
You fucked up, why did you say you were gay in the first place, you fucking faggot?
>>28705318
Then why the fuck did you say you were a gay you faggot?
>>28705356
>>28705398
I have aspergers (diagnosed), she asked me out and I locked up and got really tense and didn't know how to answer her. I wanted to go out with her but like a million different thoughts kept going through my head like "what if she's a roastie" "what if she's doing it to be mean" and things
So I blurted out "sorry i like guys" to get out of the situation without thinking
>Put hand in pants
>Grab sweaty ballsack
>Pull hand out
>Take a big 'ol sniff
>Pure bliss
>>28705235
>stick nose in armpit
>sniff that shit in like it's my last breathe on earth
WHY DOES IT SMELL SO GOOD?
>fart
>laugh
>>28705235
>squeeze my nipples
>weird liquid comes out
>taste it
>becum obsessed
>get a new modem
>need to give cumcast a call and give them my mac address
>call their number
>automated voice bitch comes on
>doesn't give me any options
>just asks me to say something so she can direct me
>have no idea what the fuck to say
>say mac address
>"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You can say something like..."
>say modem
>"I'm sorry I didn't understand that response. You can say something like..."
>"INTERNET!"
>"For troubleshooting your internet service, you can go to double-u double-u double-u dot comcast dot com and..."
>"OPERATOR!"
>"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that..."
>"YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"
>"Ok, I'll connect you with one of our agents. Please wait."
>wait for hold on 20 minutes
>finally hear a voice that's not the automated voice bitch
>it's Pajeet
>he understands less of what I'm saying than the machine
>"ME. GIVE. YOU. MAC. ADDRESS. TO. ACTIVATE. MODEM"
>he doesn't understand
>"MAC. ADDRESS. MAC. ADDRESS. YOU. TAKE."
>he doesn't get it
>"NEW MODEM."
"Ohhh. You new modem?"
>"YES. YES. ACTIVATE. ACTIVATE"
>"Ok, jew have number on modem?"
>try to give him the mac address
>try about 5 times enunciating each syllable before he finally gets it
>wait
>wait
>wait
>he keeps telling me it's not working and he's trying
>20 minutes later
>still not working
>hear children playing in the background and he's saying something to them
>lose my shit and just hang up
Why is this allowed?
i am that pajeet, except that i work for twc and im a spic. close enough.
>>28705261
Do you live in mexico? Do you work from home? Do they pay you in tacos?
>>28705332
yes no no
5/7 originality
