Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1013. page

Clean, anon, you slut.

Clean. Always.

>You will never eat that butthole

eating? clean.

fucking? a little poo never set me off. just pee as soon as your done and give it a rinse

only on the inside

orginal ocmmten

yeah have you ever seen an old black woman?

like 75% of them are ugly as fuck

I honestly think that our primate brains aren't very adept at judging the subtle differences in other races and those who are more different, hence why 'all blacks and Asians look the same' and so forth, so to white people, white women 'age poorly' whearas blacks 'still look like nigs' no matter what age they are. I would ask the black fellas what they think of black women aging but I'm pretty sure they don't like them at any age

>>29576509
Chantix is poison.


I vape logic disposables when i get a craving. Haven't had a cigarette in close to2 years.

>>29576566
Wait, Anon... How is it poison.

>>29576509
It'll pass. In the meantime, chew gum or something to keep your mind off of it.

Give us the book or it never happened

>Ketamine's a dissociative
>Used as horse tranquilizer
>Some guy off 4chan gave me it for an Elliot Rodger copy
>Naturally I snorted some
>Felt like I wasn't me
>Saw my life objectively
>Also feel like flying through space
>One day took 3 times the dose
>Trying to get into a K-hole
>Where one would be stuck in their world of hallucinations, floating blissfully through space
>Reach it
>Time slows down, where one hour felt like a week
>Played an album in the background
>Enjoying the beauty and infinity of the universe around me
>Start falling
>Fall into darkness
>Out of it comes the albino sloth
>It hugs me
>We fly for a week, discovering the wonders of the universe
>Wake up, not suicidal anymore
>Realize I can't kill myself in a world so orchestrated, vast and depressingly beautiful
>Poetic shit
>Old friend of mine calls me up 2 days later
>Literally 2 days later
>Says some friend of her needs to make her boyfriend jelaous
>Wants me to whore out and kiss her in front of him in some club
>Sidenote, I'm not fat and the fact I'm ugly's concealed in the darkness of the club
>So why not
>Do the job
>Next day wake up to a message from her asking me if I wanted to meet again
>So why not

>>29576534
Book was sent through a shit ton of vocaroo links over the span of 3 weeks, I don't think they stay up that long

>>29576665
>Go out with the girl for make out session
>She becomes an actual human being I can talk to
>I lied in the initial post though
>I had one friend
>The only person in school I talked to
>Who never wanted to go out with me but still
>Like 2 weeks later out of the blue he finally says yes
>We go to a local alt-rock club
>Try to find weed to make it a memorable night since it's not difficult here
>First person we come up to is a bulky skinhead
>That's how I met Tiny
>We smoked some weed with him when he realized my friend knew him from primary school
>I was still up for drug experimentation
>Just so happened that I could have a dealer now
>Because Tiny trusted my friend
>Tiny was 2 years older than me
>Back then I thought he was a narco-boss
>He's not
>Whenever I wanted something new we'd meet
>Occasionally he didn't have money for weed so I'd chip in and we'd smoke together
>Suddenly I had two friends
>Realized his girlfriend goes to the same school as me
>He started inviting me out
>Met a few people at the alt-rock club, his hood etc
>Finally when he deemed me ready he invited me to a park
>A park that was the center of the alternative scene in this city
>Meet other people
>Put in a group chat where they communicate where to go
>Things finally start happening
>This was around a year ago, genuine picture from that time

You'll just wake up in a few minutes with a big fucking headache if you do it wrong. Or die.

Here's what you do. Stand on your toes, look down, and crouch down so you're basically set up to take a shit in an eastern toilet. With your head still down, take 10-12 giant, deep, slow breaths. I'm talking like 3 second inhales and 3 second exhales.

At the conclusion of the last exhale, stand up as quickly as you can while inhaling as hard and as fast as you can. As soon as you're all the way up, hold your breath and use your hands to "strangle" your neck (only squeeze just a little bit; just enough to feel your pulse)

Hold this position for a few seconds until you wake up 5-7 hours later.

Also make sure your bed is right below you when you do this. Try not to hit your head on anything. If you did it wrong you'll wake up in a few seconds, but instead of a headache your hands and feet will feel like they fell asleep, and you'll see little spark looking things floating around. Just wait until you feel normal again and try again.

Just be yourself my dude. Works for me.

>>29576401

eat junk food that is sugar rich then the sugar withdrawl will make you sleepy

>>29576387
>wanting a literal parasite

>>29576387
I would love to have a kid but not today's world
Maybe 15-20 years ago.

If you have a daughter, you will only watch her grow up to be a slut and she will start sucking BBCs at the age of 12 because that's how kids are raised by today's media, peers, and trends.

If it's a boy he will either become the Chad (which with our genes isn't likely), but most likely he would become a robot like his father and I don't want to bring another innocent human being into this suffering.

>>29576440
>sucking BBCs at the age of 12
is america a meme?

>>29576356
>implying sleeping at day and being awake at night doesnt harm your mental health and social life
>implying your mother doesnt want to save you from exactly the same things she did when she was your age that she regrets

>>29576356
She's just trying to be a good mother. She's probably worried about your health, anon.

>>29576356
>implying your mom isn't a vampire hunter
>implying she isn't trying to lure you out during the day so the sun can kill you
>implying she doesn't want the emotional burden, but realizes that you are a fiend of the night and need to be destroyed

>implying

>>29576353
Nigger has some big boobs I'd pay $5

File: 1467007164.nymphographic_human_naffy_stall.png (2MB, 1059x1232px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

2MB, 1059x1232px

Wooah man, get a load of this baby.

File: 1312171000140.jpg (82KB, 1264x561px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

82KB, 1264x561px

Wow, really makes you wonder.

>>29576349
don't be silly, wrap ur willy anon

>>29576349
be urselv

>>29576378
well, i guess my life is just a lesson then. always wrap it, even in a relationship that's over 2 months. please kill me, anon.

>>29576336
there are plenty of other chans

>>29576371
Some are cancer though

>>29576383
all of them are cancer.

>>29576299
No such thing as a girl cock.
Sucking a mans dick as a man is always gay, doing gay things makes you gay.
Terrible bait.
/thread

>>29576352
>he actually believes this

Embarrassing

>>29576426
I don't see you proving him wrong

So far record is 2 years.

>me as VP of college student government and 22 years old
>girl as secretary of college student government and 20 years old

If we hadn't shared that office and similar roles, don't know if I would be able to say I'm 25 now and not a virgin.

>>29576283
I was 41 fucking a 17 year old.

I banged her mom back in high school.

>>29576283
Banged a 24 year old when I was 17, so 7 years.

>>29576269
Yes. I have my journal entries, but I've actually only recently deleted the pictures I had accumulated. It began to feel wrong, as I know I've only kept them out of self-congratulatory pride and that it ultimately doesn't matter at all. I would like to be less narcissistic.

File: pow.jpg (39KB, 640x426px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

39KB, 640x426px

I keep a sort of calendar of the days where I fap and when I fuck.
If you keep track, try to make it readable and write it down

I have a few diary sort of entries where I describe how the sex went down. E.g. for when I lost my virginity.
My first time was probably the best one. tldr: started in prone bone after cuddling/massaging her, and after 30 minutes of fucking her right in the pussy I came on her tits, with her lying below me, her really smiling and being happy about the situation when I just orgasmed all over her body - most other times sex after that were just for fun/joy

Not at all, OP.

>1. Girl one, who I dated online for ears (100MB+ folder of images, vids, etc)
>2. Ex, who is currently in my life (9GB+ folder of images, videos, writings, etc)
>3. Girl I briefly sexted with when not talking to ex (~500KB folder of like four nudes)

It's an art. Nevermind the physical memorabilia (e.g. panties of my ex, which carry her scent, her hairbow, clothing of mine she wore, and other small things)

>>29576253
Unless Stacey is your girlfriend you aren't a cuck.

Stacey and Chad treated you like the sucker you are.

>>29576253
>chad friend
>uglier than me
So you're an even bigger Chad?

>>29576253
Holy fuck. Do you have ANY self esteem? there's doing a favour for a bro and then there's literally being his bitch.

>>29576241
What a whore

asdf

>>29576241
I hate that

Why can't I just live alone with my mom? Living with my stepdad just makes things more complicated. It's not like he's a bad person but he's much more strict than my mom which can be a bit annoying.

Also that's a nice pepe

Say goodbye to any comfort you've gotten used to.
If you haven't defined the relationship between you and your new dad yet, he's going to define it for you, and I have a feeling it will involve work, ultimatums, and punishments.