Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 615. page
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>Be me
>New coworker
>Cute blonde girl
>Flirt for a week or so, really hit it off
>Actually have the balls to ask for her number
>Text her a bit back and forth
>Be last night
>She texts me at midnight
>Asks me to come over and drink with a few friends
>Shower, shave, clip nails, wash the ass, etc
>Go over and start drinking at around 1:45 am
>Generic get together bullshit, playing cards, listening to music, talking shit about others, etc
>"Holy fuck I'm actually hanging out with people."
>6am rolls around and the other people are falling asleep
>The blonde girl I've been flirting with talks for a bit privately with me
>Eventually make it into her bed
>We are both way too drunk to even function
>End up cuddling and spooning the entire night
I'm not even sure if I should be mad at myself for not making a move. What the hell do I do now?
>>29753823
you don't belong here
>>>/adv/>>>
>>29753823
just stick with, you autistic fucker
>>29753823
go away
go ask your facebook friends
>She begs for his large black penis
>You beg your guild for loot, "I need this"
>You think she's got style and class
>But at night she eats Chad's ass
>you have no style
>you have no grace
>chad gives her a cummy face
> you can't believe what she said, you stand there agog
>"Chad once convinced me to suck off a dog."
>you cry alone every night, tears on the pillow
>chad fucks her hard til she makes the sheets yellow
This is chad bingo time
>if you can't check off a single box, you are here forever
>if you can check off 3 boxes, you are a normie
this is the most delusional image I think I've ever seen on this board.
>>29753799
>Had sex 2 years ago
>Nothing before or since
Welp, I'm not going anywhere.
>>29753799
I think the
salary
trust fund
and threesome squares should be moved to less important spaces as they're rare even among the most chaddy of chads
Music that gives you feels?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HklplrJxEOY
Also an awesome song
>tfw it's summer
the uncomfiest time of year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIoNfQ97RME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEXDVf4AET4
r9k, I'm thinking of just cutting contact with this "friend"
>was best friends for two years
>2015 this time last year best time of my life honestly
>shit happens in late 2015, get in trouble with cops
>long story short, entire town thinks i'm a pedophile
>i move away because i was ostracized
>he talks to the faggots that spread the rumors around (my old friends, but his current friends)
>talked to him on skype every day until april
>talked less and less
>absolutely no talking now
>random call from him two days ago
>still talks to these faggots
>stopped talking to me now and ignores my messages with one word responses
This faggot is basically a traitor and I only talk to him because I have no friends. Should I just drop this faggot and defriend him?
>>29753764
Well, are you a pedophile?
>>29753764
unfriending is not enough, you should just kill him desu
>>29753778
We had a porn "club". There were some underage b&'s in it that lied about their age to get my 50gb porn stash so somehow, someone told the cops about it and got me v& for distribution of obscene content to minors.
So no, I'm not a pedophile. But these faggots told everyone that it was child porn since normies can't tell the difference.
Which drugs do you abuse to temporarily escape dysphoria?
>>29753699
codeine
everybody says its weak but i still love it and i've been addicted for over 2 yrs
Pot on basically the daily. Psychedelics every half year or so.
Alcohol when I feel like blacking out.
>>29753699
weed, makes everyhting feel better frender
Let us try an experiment roachies... lift your right foot a few inches from the floor and then begin to move it in a clockwise direction. While you're doing this, use your right index finger to draw a number 6 in the air. Your foot will turn in an anticlockwise direction and there's nothing you can do about it! I dare you to break my strings hehehe!
I was able to do it fine.
Your parlor tricks suck
WHAT THE FUCK BLACK MAGIC IS THIS
>>29753781
nice try roach.
>>29753789
you're doomed to dance the dance till death gives you peace.
>21
>khhv
>in 2016
where did it go wrong for you?
From birth. I was a monster child, and they didn't get me help because I didn't hurt animals. Fuck you, mom.
>>29753674
>18
>virgin
>normies forced me to kiss a girl at 17
THEY DESTROYED MY LIFE
before that, at least I didn't knew what I was missing
>>29753691
they don't even get you help if you do hurt animals, only if you're an edgy show off about it
>listening to normies
>hear them talking
>they think eight hours sleep is excessive
>claim to sleep three hours between drinking sessions before going to work
how the fuck do they live this way?
is this the way it's supposed to be?
am I living life wrong?
they are mostly full of shit and just want to seem busy busy busy because busy means success
>>29753697
>busy busy busy
>dead
where's the success, normie? where is it?
normies are fucking losers and they know it, deep down
they know
>be me, a few hours ago
>at huge public pool with family who forced me to come
>in the corner there's a "game room" with only a pool table and an internet jukebox
>see some randos go over to it, request a song and leave
>country shit because live in south
>after a bit go over to see if there's any specific songs I wanted
>as soon as I walk in Booty Man starts playing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynpMIy_isbc)
>internally flipping the fuck out, but remain visibly composed
>walk away getting funny looks from kids and teenagers since they think I'm the one who requested it
>after song ends play Raining Blood by Slayer
Shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning
>>29753571
FROM A LACERATED SKY
>>29753571
BLEEDING ITS HORROR
CREATING MY STRUCTURE
NOW I SHALL REIGN IN BLOOD!
>>29753571
God damn. I pity your luck, Anon.
I just deleted all porn from my computer.
I will cleanse my mind from thinking of others as sexual objects. I will cleanse my eyes from viewing others as sexual objects. I will learn to see my fellow humans as the companions they are. I allow myself to masturbate, as long as I focus on the physical stimuli only, as it is.
Who's with me?
>>29753456
im gay
gay original content
I've been doing this for a few months now. I can get super-horny from just spending time with good looking women though, but it's still worth it.
>>29753456
I deleted all my porn a month ago and haven't been watching any. I haven't masturbated in that time either, but I just got bored with fapping.
>First day of kindergarten at my school
>Fifth graders had a tradition of beating up the kindergartners on the very first day of school
>We called it the kindergarten beatdown
>Kindergartners were scared to come to school after that
>Teachers and principal ignored it and parents just told the kindergartners to toughen up
>Everyone couldn't wait to be a fifth grader so they could beatup the kindergartners
>First day of fifth grade rolled around
>It had rained the whole night before
>It was one of the best kindergarten beatdowns anyone could remember
>Kindergartners were getting thrown into the mud left and right
>I filled a kid's brand new Pokemon backpack full of mud
>I did a flying kick off the monkeybars and hit a kindergartner in the head
Fast forward to present day
>Find out at our family 4th of July party that my cousin started fifth grade this year and that he goes to my old elementary school
>He says they don't do the kindergarten beatdown anymore
What fun traditions from your school have died /r9k/?
I really doubt the school staff would allow that
>>29753448
>It was one of the best kindergarten beatdowns anyone could remember
>>29753481
It was one of those bizarre small town traditions that took a long time to die. I guess it's probably for the best, but the kindergarten beatdown really was fun.
That it guys, it seems the Egg finally has cracked for good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjkRLJJkMTM
His snapchat is "Thenewformula" for those of you who want to give him your condolences.
>>29753382
Nobody gives a fuck about you anymore.
>The egg has cracked
you've been using that line for like 3 years.
Time to move on bud, your day in the sun has long since finished.
>>29753423
Shoo shoo normie
Pls go and stay go
>>29753455
Not gonna happen. I was here first.
Anyone know what this is on my eye? It's been here for about a week and keeps making my eye look lazier and lazier
herpes
origneru
Does it itch?
>>29753352
its an eyebrow.
You stupid roaches will never fully grasp the control I possess over your minds. My manipulation of this board has been going on for years, and I can make you do whatever I want. Your merely talking to another poster puts them under my control. You won't even know it when it happens, but I will know it and continue to fuck with your little roach brain that can't even comprehend the power that is at play on this board.
>>29753333
>those quads
Master speaks the truth
>>29753750
truth is an illusion my little pawn.
>>29753333
saved
originol
