Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7500. page
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@issashine_ Dec 1
I'm laying bed and on my phone when this happens. Epic.
>>25047858
dont be upset just because someone thinks they have telepathic powers and can judge you over the internet.
>>25047858
your mental illness?
>Trans-ills simultaneously trying to pull the "you're gay for liking me!" card while also saying they're grills
>Being this bitter over tfw no vagina
Apex kek.
Does anyone have the one sad pepe where he's holding his massive dong and it's sperming?
Like his dong is as big as his torso, he has his blue shirt on but no pants also his feet are spread and his dong is all veiny?
>>25047748
>sperming
You're joking right?
I may have a double. Why are you asking?
>>25047777
Nice quads, son.
Ask a thoroughly average and uninteresting individual any question on any topic, no matter how awful.
>inb4 fishing for replies
>inb4 fag
Do you have a gf?
Do you like anime?
Rei or Asuka?
>>25047934
No.
No.
I did a quick google search and from appearance alone I pick Asuka.
Why did you post pepe?
Are you trying to ruin my board even more?
>go to living room
>see this
Wat do?
Get her a blanket and tuck her in. Then leave because the other Stacy whose foot is visible will probably try to talk to me.
I'd give her the 'ol penis
make sure whoever's foot that is is also unconscious, raep both.
if conscious, then just leave
Hey, /r9k/, it's getting late so most of the normies have gone to sleep, so I'm going to do a story time of sorts about my autism. It's not actual autism, but I'm sure it will make you cringe. Or maybe the story will make you feel, I don't know. I'm just going to tell it because I'd like to get it off my chest.
>immediately after I am born, mother starts drinking
>becomes a raging alcoholic
>always drunk, at some point before I turn two she physically abuses me
>this prompts my father to divorce her and win sole custody of me
>dad is fantastic, raises me all on his own, but he is a very stoic man's man with no gentle emotional side
>see mom occasionally growing up, she is usually drunk when she visits, or steals my dad's booze to get drunk
>6 years old, go to my grandma's house to be watched while dad is working
>mom is there, piss drunk, pants and shirt undone wandering around the house going nuts
>to see my mom like that was very scary, i started crying
>she starts getting physical with my 70 year old grandmother, pushing her and insisting on getting her lighter
>wants it to light cigarettes but my grandmother is afraid she will drop it and set the carpet/house on fire
>she roughs my grandma up a little and snatches the lighter
>sits on couch next to me, starts smoking, blows smoke into my face
>i am wailing into my stuffed rabbit, crying like a mad man
>grandma shouts, "Do you see what you're doing to your son?"
>mom says, "I don't care"
>fast forward, 7 or 8 years old
>mom comes over to my house, she is watching me, we're meant to have dinner with my dad that night at a restaurant as a family
>she gets into my dad's booze, gets piss drunk
>being a kid I didn't know any better, told her it was time to go meet dad for dinner, she gets me into the car and we drive around
>ask her if she'll slow down, she speeds up
>she is drunk as hell driving around, randomly speeding up, smashing the brakes, eventually crashes into another car
>police come, i am sitting in the backseat terrified
>especially afraid that i will be arrested because i had a metal toy gun with me
>watch mom get arrested and hauled off
>lose appetite and don't eat dinner with my dad, we just talked
>fast forward a while, now 19 years old
>occasionally see mom when i go see my grandma for holidays or dinner, last thanksgiving she showed up 6 hours late dead drunk after being sober for a while
>all of this was not good for my relationships with women, had crushes on girls throughout my life, always rejected though for being fat
>17 years old, lost 60 lbs, finally get an internet gf
>she lives in the UK, I live in the US
>we met in December 2013, she came to visit for a few weeks in summer 2014
>had a good time, lost my virginity
>she goes back, we are sad, fight sometimes but not that much, pretty good relationship
>christmas 2014 she comes back for a visit, we have a good time
>find red bumps on my dick
>she admits that she has herpes but didn't tell me because the transmission rate is so low
>told her she shouldn't have lied to me, we had unprotected sex because she had the implant, she should have told me
>dumb bitch didn't know that having unprotected sex raised those very low odds of contracting the disease exponentially
>i am a beta cuck and she is the only girl who ever liked me so i forgive her
>we fight a lot, i hold a grudge
>may 2015, on my 19th birthday, find out she is cheating on me, well documented proof from a friend of hers
>also found out she had been showing the nudes i had sent her to all of her friends
>extremely pissed, want to get back at her but i could never pull another girl and cheat on her, and that's scummy anyways
>instead make plan
>say i forgive her, tell her she can come back for a visit
>summer 2015 she comes to visit for 4 weeks
>i had informed my family and friend about the cheating, they weren't hostile but basically ignored her the whole trip
>i ignored her besides eating with her and sharing a bed, never had sex
>she loves american chocolate milk because apparently it's different over here, i make sure to get some and put it in the fridge upstairs
>she can't go up there alone because my dogs will attack her since they don't know her well, so every time i go upstairs i tell her i'll get her some
>always forget
>one day we ordered pizzas, she asked me to put the rest of hers in the fridge
>say okay, walk upstairs and throw it in the garbage
>she notices things are bad, she cries frequently
>one night, i get piss drunk on purpose so she thinks i'm being brutally honest
>tell her i've been pissed about the cheating, but that i love her and forgive her
>reassure her when she leaves we will patch things up, that i won't break up with her
>the very next day i drive her four hours to the airport, kiss her goodbye and say things will be good again
>i walk back to the car, get in, turn on loud rap music and immediately send her a facebook message saying we are done
>drive four hours home in the middle of the night, get mcdonalds and watch youtube videos
>she spent $1200 to come and get crushed
>she sends an angry message back, I just block her
>life is empty at this point, but without her in my life i slowly start to realize i don't want another girlfriend, not that i'm gay, just never had a true attraction to her or any girl
Here is where the cringe begins
>at this point, i discover ayoutube girl named Rose. i think she is cute, but she is way too old for me, no real sexual attraction to her. only have seen a couple of her videos to this day, but she became the placeholder for my mother issues
>seeing her makes me realize that, while i suppressed with my last gf, it was always under the surface, i didn't want a gf- i wanted a mother
>she is exactly the age my mother was when she originally abandoned me/left the family
>at this point, not sure where to go, no one else has this problem
>therapy cannot fix it, mommy gf relationships cannot fix it because i don't want a gf, i just want a mommy
>after that awful gf and the new realizations/mommy issues, i become basically asexual
>still have a sex drive, but feel no attraction to anyone in particular, just masturbate for the physical pleasure
>become crippingly lonely, in a way i've never felt before because not even a gf could fix it, what i need is the pure love of a mother, but i can't have that
>begin writing autistic greentexts of me as a child and who i dubbedRosey mommyas a way to cope and "experience" a good childhood
>in these stories, my mother is a widow, raising me on her own
>end up writing 12 or so of these stories in the last month
>intensely personal, so they are difficult to share, but i will share a few in a bit
>think about them and read them so often that it has become almost as if I'm trying to convince myself that was the childhood I had
And that's where I am today. I posted about this particular problem in a mommy gf thread recently, and everyone told me i should make my own thread sometime because it was pretty interesting for several reasons:
>the innocence and completely nonsexual nature of the stories made them feel
>the idea in itself is incredibly autistic and cringeworthy
>the backstory behind how i became this way is interesting to "study" from a psychological standpoint
Anyways, I will share the original greentext I wrote on a whim/partially as a joke in a mommy gf thread, then one other long one that is my favorite.
Feel free to mock me, but keep in mind you are not the one exposing yourself to entertain/intrigue other robots. I just think they may be of interest since they're literally OC created as a coping mechanism for someone who is mentally ill.
>have to do presentation today
>choose topic
>prepare everything, presentation is finished
>try to practice it
>I can't do it
>keep stuttering even though nobody is around
>keep restarting after the first 4 slides (out of 28)
I can't do this, robots. Should I just stay in bed and drop the class? I've been attending it every time and now it's my turn to present but I fucking can't.
IKTF. I had to do a language course where the final exam was a group presentation and a 1 on 1 conversation with the prof. That was the closest that I've come to dropping out of a course. Barely squeeked by both and got a C in the course.
Keep practicing. Pretend you are talking to your fellow robots. In fact, try having a pretend conversation with r9k about 1 of the topics that pops up on here every now and them. Use that mindset of talking to present. You can do it lil nigga.
Are you graded on the way you present your speech? If not, just write down exactly what you wanna say, word for word. And read the paper during the presentation.
Or just look at the PowerPoint and read off that. No eye contact.
Sup /r9k/.
Here's the deal, I just started drinking again recently because I realized that I'm a loser with no friends outside my 4chan hugbox. I try to go along with things when people do them but I always feel like a fifth wheel people only invited out of pity or obligation. When I drink, I don't feel like a loser. When I'm stone sober for a month or so, I start seeing things with blinding clarity and it turns me into a chronically depressing, antisocial retard.
What do?
Bumping because I've honestly got nothing better to do. This post is now an original statement.
>>25046949
Just b urself :^)
Really though, I know this pain. Find hobbies to develop and put your time into those. It's the only way to live imho.
>>25046949
>Stone sober for a month (or so)
You're not seeing things with blinding clarity, sorry son.
Drink if you wanna drink though. Isn't that what you want to hear? some affirmation from the other alchies on this board?
Just saw Star Wars, ama
does han die
>>25046736
This
Saw an image of Han Solo with a lightsaber going through his chest
>>25046736
are you sure you want to know
Just asked her out. It's been almost 10 minutes which is scary because she was texting me back rapidly beforehand.
HAHAHAHA
She's trying to figure out how to let you down easy.
I am sorry man, it's just funny to someone like me who moved on from women a long time ago.
>>25046537
"i don't have anyone to go with yet"
> the beta in this one is strong, luke.
THERE HE GOES
THERE HE GOES AGAIN
I'm 18 and my mother died in NYC in 2001. My father - a Marine - died in Afghanistan 3 years later.
I was raised by my Grandparents until their death in 2012. I have been living between my own, and my uncle's until last march.
As a result of all these deaths, I'm fucked in the head. Depression, ADHD and all sorts of things I pop meds for.
When other's hear about my past, It's the same fucking reaction every. damn. time.
>omg anon, I'm so sorry to hear that. You can talk to me whenever you want
>I know anon, you already told me. but we all gotta move on.
>anon, we all have problems, just smile
>whatever you say anon
Nobody fucking cares about me anymore. They all think I'm annoying.
I did manage to land a job as a preschool teacher for neglected and abused kids, though. I work with about 70 kids a day.
And despite all my issues; Every. fucking. kid loves me for who I am.
>tfw that incredible smile is for you
>tfw they run to you when they see you, because they missed you during the night
>tfw ten kids do it at the same time
>tfw "I want anon and not stacy to put me to play with me"
>tfw they give you that sad look when you tell them not to call you "daddy"
>tfw they fall asleep in your arms, opening their eyes every few minutes to make sure you didn't leave
>tfw they cry because you go on lunch break
>tfw they hate Fridays because they don't get to see you for two days
>tfw someone thinks about you all the time
I miss my parents. I miss my grandparents. I hate living. I think about suicide everyday.
I drink myself to sleep every fucking day, thinking about jumping from my balcony on the 21st floor;
but then I remember my kids. I don't want them to end up like me.
So I go back inside and set my alarm for the next day.
But not this time. I'm fucking done with this life. I'm sorry.
Don't you have a bucket list? Why not go fight someone before you eat it
>>25046543
What's the point anymore? I want to say it's for myself, but at this point I don't even want to try anymore.
>>25046677
At least you got double dubs OP. Things will get better.
>be hungry
>have no money
>ask friend for food and he offers me "Gyft card" on my phone
>pays with bitcoin because he is into that
>go to Whole Foods because that is where the card is for
>be really nervous as I reach the register
>"that will be $16.25"
>handed him my phone and he took it
>he looked at me like I was crazy and I didn't realize the screen was off
>I stared at him and started sweating
>"do u has money"
>grab my phone back and turn on the screen without saying anything
>feel-the-autism.avi
>he scans the phone and I say "have a nice day" as I run out of the store
Fuck, why the fuck do normies have to be so talkative, I just wanted to pay for my tendies with digital internet money. At least Safeway has those self checkout stands so I don't have to talk to anyone, get with the program Whole Foods.
>>25046435
>tfw poorfag
>tfw have to steal food samples from olive bar to get groceries from Whole Foods
>>25046435
are you a qt grill?
bloxbloxblox
>>25047105
Not sure how to answer that. I am a girl, I think I am pretty normal.
![[HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 10 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.40_[2015.12.09_17.36.41].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MnHSwI8.jpg "[HorribleSubs] YuruYuri S3 - 10 [720p].mkv snapshot 02.40 [2015.12.09 17.36.41]")
>Start watching mostly western 3D shows now that I've watched most anime I want to see
>enjoying it, recently finished The Wire (among others) which was particularly awesome
>noticing something strange
>don't find any of the people on any of the shows I'm watching attractive
>nothing but flawed bags of flesh
>cool stories, but goddamn, everyone is so ugly, why?
>sexual scenes just give me secondhand embarrassment or mild disgust
>3D people trying to act sexy makes me cringe
Anyone else become like this? The 3DPD stuff really does exist. Real life women are just fucking hideous after watching anime. Is this normal? It's not like I can't get it up; I can still jerk it to 2D doujins and stuff. I just find real people sexually uninteresting, if not repulsive.
>>25046427
It happened to me, anon.
But then again, the only 3D thing ive watched in over a year is the news and Sons of Anarchy.
>>25046427
Welcome to the dark side. I go through periods of 3DPD to wanting a gf, but I know 2D is superior.
I find 3D people to be disgusting.
I can't fap to 3D porn because all I can think about are the gross body fluids and stinky anuses.
This black bitch shaves her pussy on YouTube. Does /b/ have any other uncensored YouTube porn? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AEioRn80P4
wrong board faggot
I couldn't even tell there was hair there t b q h f am i l i a
>>25046302
Why would I look at some gross nigger roast when I can get porn with white girls at the drop of a hat?
>Been trying to escape neetdom for years
>after the thousandth automated email I got a little pissed
>didn't realize they had another job lined up for me.
Alright robots tell me, what did you do this time?
Kek
You fucked up bad.
The guy probably just said that because he was having a bad day too, you probably wouldn't have gotten that other position either.
Their reply was probably just a lie to get back at you.
the others in the thread have the right idea. they want your tears
whoops I've seemed to have mis-clicked on the wrong picture m80's sorry about that.
>>25046021
Don't worry lad everyone makes mistakes.
>>25046021
I don't think anyone here actually cares about Cuck wars.
who actually gives a shit about star wars
oh yeah, nerds
