Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3740. page
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What do robots do when they're bored?
take a nap and hope things are better when I wake up
I write and k practice some bullshit little drawings. I take long walks and listen to music and think, I read books or I browse here or I play the vidya. Try to learn something cool or new.
I'm not bored too often, I usually prefer to be left alone so it's just kinda my modus operandi
>>28038853
I wish I could nap
>>28038801
Masturbate. This >>28038853 afterwards.
>have tinder profile to raise my self esteem when i get matches
>don't know how to talk to the girls i match with
am i just retarded or what?
>Hello! -smiling emoji-
>How was your day?
Its not that hard faggot
>some girls literally message me first
>still too scared to message them
At least you get matches. I've run out of people in my area.
You have a behelit and the angels of your world come to you and tell that you have a chance to change your flabby pathetic cheeto covered destiny. You can have a new perfect body with the charisma even the most powerful man could only imagine. You will be given numerous ability and only in name will you not be considered a demi god among men. But at a price, you must sacrifice those dear to you which will be eaten by terrible demons before your very eyes. So who is it? And will you sacrifice?
>>28038766
My waifu
Sorry but you're only a chinese homework doodle
>>28038798
whos your waifu? if its rei and you sacrifice her ill find you
>When you plan to kill yourself
>How you plan to do it
>Comfy pic
>>28038763
>>When you plan to kill yourself
Whenever my parents die
>>How you plan to do it
Helium tank, probably
>>Comfy pic
Here you go
>>28038763
I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Right now it's just a feeling of wanting to kill myself. I guess it's my job to flesh that feeling out and give it form.
>>28038763
>>When you plan to kill yourself
I drink and smoke too much so Im banking on that.
>>How you plan to do it
I don't want to die in a hospital bed so a drug overdose or bullet to the head may be in my future. I've always thought immolation or drowning sounded nice but I'm scared of pain.
>>Comfy pic
Enjoy.
>2016
>wanting a 3d piggu
Why not just get a Fleshlight/Tenga/Onahole?
It's not like you could ever get a GF anyways.
I have bought 3 onaholes and a fleshlight
all three onaholes broke for being too small and the fleshlight doesn't feel good
>>28038786
What model Fleshlight senpai
>>28038844
not even sure it was one of the roasties they advertise on main website they all look same to me
i just use hand 95% of time
/r9k/, what is the root of your sadness?
>>28038744
Bumpbloxloxoxx
>>28038744
About that pic: stop being a pushover pussyass bitch and you will experience none of that
>>28038744
My own weakness.
Nice dubs.
>Hey anon, do you believe in God?
>Which one?
*unzips fedora*
Yes I do, OP, in fact I'd argue that all of us are at least partly aware on some level of his existence.
>>28038719
isn't life just a simulation within a simulation, and our creator is some nerd watching our world like an ant colony
Anybody here masturbated with a vacuum cleaner?
Is it just a meme?
>>28038581
tried it once, couldn't push my dick into the nozzle.
but the suction felt good as hell on the tip of my dick
Post the one about the guy who got his intestines sucked out by the pool.
It hurts a lot. You need a custom gel sucker to do anything pleasurable.
>tfw you realize this board is actually just a group of the same 150 autists posting a few times every minute
Like every other board
go away reality we are all one
at least 1000 are lurking
>29 years old , all girls my age are one of the following:
>single mothers (Chad's used goods)
>cluster B personality disorder trainwrecks
>painful quirky flawed have-a-thousand-and-one-hobbies-to-make-up-for-how-mediocre-I-am left overs
>all 25+ women have hit the wall or are in the process of
>tfw Chads just get the young qts while they're fresh
>tfw all single 25+ women are all the shitty leftovers
>tfw at 29 the youngest you can go without old used up harpies and betas who settled giving you shit is probably 21-22 and these girls are at the peak of their sexual/dating demand and so only go for the older Chads
who /FUCKTHESYSTEM/ here?
I'm 23 and Iktf
>>28038519
can confirm
am 29
married Chad
>feels good man
>>28038519
and I'm sure you are a total stud aesthetic tall big dick rich chadbro who deserves a quality woman yourself
what animes have the best love story?
I want to feel something
>still watching anime in [currentyear]
Have you heard the story of Nina tucker?
>>28038637DON'T FUCKING REMIND ME! JUST STOP, IT'S TOO DARK!
How do you guys dispose of your piss bottles?
>>28038448
black garbage bags
>>28038462
And then where?
I smoke weed out of an apple and then toss the apple somewhere around the outside of my house.
There must be rotten apples fucking everywhere
>get called in for an interview
>they tell me over the phone not to wear anything nice
>they tell me I might step in poop
>show up to the interview wearing cowboy boots
>there is no interview
>get a math test instead
>fail
>prove to them their answer key is wrong
>cue several minutes of two women bitching to each other over the phone about a broken test
>they tell me the real interview begins now
>get locked in a tiny room with 20 humongous dogs
>Nazi goose step around so the dogs see me as their leader and follow me
>have to make three of them sit to pass my interview
>choose the three labradors and make them sit
>now I'm waiting to be called in for the second interview
It was a very strange day.
Did they inspect your penis yet? I hope you lubricated your urethra plenty.
>>28038360
wtf is this story, what kind of jobs are you applying to?
>>28038426
its probably one of those dating matchmaker things.
Stick with it OP. I actually was in one of these and made it past all 3 interviews, but when I actually got to meet the girl in person my autism flared up.
Really sucks.
>tfw no rich bachelor sugar momma gf to use me as her arm candy
>tfw a kid you went to HS with dies
>>28038330
all people die, get over it
>>28038330
>tfw your friends friend you hung once or twice with died from a xanax+heroin overdose
she was cool when we hung out, we chain smoked cigarettes and put them out in the shape of a big smiley face, took us like 10 cigs. what a shame
>>28038366
greatest show of all timebefore season 6and no one can convince me otherwise
>onenitis now dates a powerChad
when did you give up?
What is a powerChad?
>>28038283
To me its a stereotypical 10/10 Chad you see in movies. one of the things this dude is known for is having a big dick because of sluts bragging. Literally looks like a stock photo of an attractive make
>having a onenitis
you failed normie fucks are pathetic
