Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3741. page
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First time greentexting, be gentle. I need to tell someone about this before I blurt it out to people who care.
>Be me, 27yo bi non-virgin
>Severe depression since 18yo
>Still recovering from messy breakup 2 years ago
>Ex was my best m8, fell for eachother while roomies
>Develop opiate and meth addictions
>Lose job
>Move back home, become NEET
>Quit dope and crystal, be blazed literally 24/7 instead.
>Another m8 lives nearby and is also depressed NEET living with his parents.
>Neetbro also bisexual and not afraid of casual hookups, but don't want to ruin another friendship so not interested, also not my type.
>Hang out anyway to get fucked up like old times as teenagers
>Literally two shady guys drinking in a park at night usually.
>Batman Vs Superman comes out, decide to see if neetbro wants to go with me so I don't look like a total fucking loser.
>Hyped about the movie, have money to burn, no commitments for several days.
>Buy the largest available movie Sprite from the candy bar and tip 1/3 of it out, then refill with 700ml of Absolut smuggled under my jumper.
>It actually all fits in the cup, but the cup doesn't fit in the fucking holder in the cinema so we have to hold them constantly
>Also had big fuck-off bucket of popcorn so thirsty as fuck
>Finish the whole drink before act 3
>Don't remember rest of the movie, or leaving the cinema, or going home.
>Next memory is neetbro's tongue running up the underside of my cock and feeling his chin stubble rub my balls
>Black out again, next memory is his cock in my mouth and me breathing hard.
>Next memory flash is one of us trying to penetrate the other, unsure who was doing what, but I'd realised what was happening and was telling him I didn't want to do it.
>"Just go with it"
>Pushes me back down, black out again.
>Wake up the next day thinking it was a dream, but then realise. Also parents might have heard us from their room.
>mfw I think I was raped
>mfw I realise idgaf
>Contemplate opiate relapse
inb4 BROJOB CHOO CHOOOOO
Stop being a degenerate drug user, faggot.
Tbh at this point you can either stay the pussy you are, or be a man and slaughter this mofo and the serve him as dinner to his parents. Police wouldn't even care.
>mfw 18 and now only starting to look older than the average 7th grader
>>28038151
I know that feel op, maybe we'll look good though eventually
>>28038151
Praise Gandy, you were gifted with late puberty (maybe). Usually, late puberty means you'll be taller.
Have you considered becoming a qt trap?
![143df5b67eb54cc873f020c67654c431_158725[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rg4Mrz9.jpg "143df5b67eb54cc873f020c67654c431 158725[1]")
>anon, just clean this sand off my ass already
>stop hiding, I don't care about your boner
>>28038068
only if i can use my dick to wipe off the sand.
>>28038068
fucking stupid bitch stacey why are you making me uncomfortable in front of the guys god i fucking hate you
OH GOD, I'M SORRY I PUT MY DICK IN, HELP
HEEEEEELP
I think i've reached peak degeneracy. I just propositioned a trap for sex.
How low have I sunk?
>>28038034
Whatever. A hole's a hole anon.
>>28038034
in 2016, not that far at all...
>Asking /r9k/ if traps make you degenerate
Go ask a more normie board you fag
How many of you robots are Pisces?
i am pisces, fella
I made this ascii art for us piskez -)-(-
>>28038029
I once talked to a fembot that seemed excited about be being a Pisces. She was fucking weird. Is that you?
"Anon, do you think it's weird for a girl to be 22 and still hasn't had a boyfriend? Like would it be a total turn off for you if a girl was 22 and still a hasn't even kissed a guy?"
>>28038004
What kind of shitty fantasy is this, OP?
Don't be fooled, OP. A qt 22-year-old who is a kissless virgin has something seriously wrong with her.
>>28038010
>implying autistic qts aren't best qts
leave
who wants a copy of rocket league to play with me
>>28037965
Anon me!
>>28037974
cool what's your steam
i'd rather play card games on motorcycles than soccer with cars
I want to buy some ball gags and handcuffs. But I'm too embarassed to go to a sex shop. What if it's run by women?
Buy rope. Use it to tie up wrists and make a money fist ball gag with it. /problem
>>28037824
they work in a sex shop!
they have obviously seen some fucked up shit
just go and get it, they don't judge... until you leave
Who cares, even a wizard wouldn't give a shit because he doesn't care about anything anymore
https://soundcloud.com/kyle_the_vile
vaporwave killed my parents
fjfgmkfjm
how would you prefer
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
WRONG
You don't just wear your swords all hanky panky in the rain. The cotton tsuka maki will soak up all the water and get ruined. Put those babies in their respective bags before travelling on a mission.
Fuck
>tfw tiny 6.5x5.5 inch penis
>tfw gf says its big and i think shes retarded or lying
>have 7.5x6 inch weiner
>think it's pretty good size
>gf completely disappointed
what I would do for another inch...
>>28037819
Why not? You're slightly on the larger end of the bell curve. If she's slightly on the smaller end, it will feel big to her. Your dick is empirically above average. Stop worrying.
>>28037819
That's slightly larger than the average penis size. Maybe you shouldn't be watching so much porn, it's an unrealistic portrayal of sex and the human anatomy.
All /r9k/ users are certainly cursed
>you probably have a shitty life and are alone
>if not then it is likely getting worse and you are gradually being abandoned by your friends and/or family
>your romantic life is pathetic or non existant
>if not then you are currently experiencing a rut
>you are depressed and may very well have a mental illness
>might think you don't but just by being here it's obvious that you do
We're all cursed, fellas. /r9k/ is essentially haunted by the broken souls of those who have strayed from the light and have fallen far into the dark pit which you will never come out of.
>>28037800
It doesn't matter what theory or reasons or concepts you want to use. If you're not going to provide an exit, no one cares what colors the walls are or what shape the room is.
My God, this is no way to live. Why am I here? I will never have sex and my family will always be disappointed in me.
I guess I'm here because it's reassuring to know I am not the only one suffering like this while being surrounded by all the normies living their extravagent lives.
>>28037800
>which you will never come out of
I don't think this is necessarily true, everyone can improve on ones self and stop being a fag.
I myself have not managed to do this, but I'm just saying I'm not losing all hope just yet.
>reviewbrah will never review your penis
good length, nice girth, everything is there
>>28037741
I honestly think if he put on some muscle he would be a 10/10. He's really handsome, he's intelligent, everything is there.
>>28037741
>microcephaly
some underage female temptress is attempting to steal my budding wizard powers
dubs decides how I let her down
that's a fucking police pedo sting you dumb ass
>>28037722
Tell her you only like dick and you were confused as to whether she had a dick or not.
>>28037722
nice dub dubs
why aren't you fucking this prime 16 y/o pussy
Robots if you are man with a masters degree do you only date girls with masters degrees?
Same question to fembots, are you willing to date someone less educated than you?
I genuinely don't care about this.
>>28037578
i have a bachelois, I'm dating a qt 3.14 chinese girl with two masters.
feels good
>>28037578
tom leykis youtube him now check out his harvard video
Why can't life be an adventure?
It is for a lot of people, we're just lazy.
>>28037575
go live in africa, i bet every day would be an adventure
Because your the villain
