Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7547. page
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When did you realize we are all living in a giant prison and the only way to get your freedom is to become a multi-millionaire?
>mfw
illuminatibl0x
>>25004798
A while back now. We live in slavery. At least we get the internet.
>>25004798
everyone lives in a prison
if you're rich you just get to live in a different prison
>Look who just turned 30
>30 years without sex, consistently
>I should've been more flirty
>The weeping frog lands gently
Congrats on achieving wizard.
Hail, O Wizard!
>>25004818
>I thought I could conjure myself happy
>If only I would become a wizard
>But you don't get any powers, my life is still crappy
>Sitting in the middle of a never ending blizzard
![aebf4a3c2c0f42aa2317d042f39d746e[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/P6ziqnF.jpg "aebf4a3c2c0f42aa2317d042f39d746e[1]")
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdSXIaKbkjY
>harassment when betas compliment you
>flattering when Chad compliments you
Daily reminder that your appearance determines whether other people react to you positively or negatively
>>25004776
viral advertising
please disregard fellow brobots
viral advertising
please disregard fellow brobots
viral advertising
please disregard fellow brobots
viral advertising
please disregard fellow brobots
viral advertising
please disregard fellow brobots
>>25004776
"Telling me you wish you could motorboat my boobs is not a compliment"
After reading this description I skipped immediately to halfway through the video, because I predicted that her tits would be out in full show. Unsurprisingly, I was right. These kind of dumb sluts have no self-awareness and will unironically expose their body only to wonder why people comment on the elephant in the room.
People's comments like "I want to motorboat your tits" are not meant to be taken seriously; most of the time when someone makes a ridiculous comment like that, they are doing so to subtly inform you that you should probably try to put away your tits so that the world can't see, you know, like 89% of them.
I will give a thousand dollars to the person with the most pathetic life here.
Here are the rules:
>greentext stories only
>you may be asked to prove elements of your story if possible
>only one person wins
if you want a story about pathetic people just ask
don't lie
>>25004728
>totally not just something I found online and cropped in MS Paint. I totally do have all this money guys. trust me, I'm a dolphin
>I post on /r9k/
there, I won
>born in upstate NY
>5 hours from any concert or amusement park
>no matter where I go its just dead trees and fields
>crazy neighbor rides his tractor up and down the roads all day doing redneck chores
>neighbors think its okay for their dogs to start barking at 6:30 am
>everyone is poorer then fucking shit
>forced to be a neet robot
>only way to have fun is to smoke weed
>only opprotunities I had were sports and farming
>no one here would even get noticed enough to get drafted
>all major cities are like 1200 for apartments so you have to be born there
>the whole world is born in cities and I get the shit hick town farm open field bull shit
>4 people in my whole town my age
>impossible to be accepted here unless you act like everyone else and they're too stupid to get societal norms so being normal fucked me
>had one life and it was wasted on an arctic tundra shit hole fuck shit piece of ass hole empty nothingness having farm town filled with stupid as fuck rednecks
>my only dream was to be a black urban youth
>will never be accepted by the only other demographic as poor and disadvantaged as me
God didn't even give me a fighting chance...
>>25004705
>his dream is to hang around derelict street corners with nothing to do all day
that sounds really different from hanging around derelict street corners with nothing to do all day. oh yeah, one is in a city and another in a town. go fuck yourself
>actually wanting to be a nigger
Actually, you'll fit right in with that shit attitude.
>>25004731
Also,
>had the opportunity to go into farming
>didn't
fuck you
u
c
k
y
o
u
>Anon, you're so great. I wish I had a boyfriend just like you.
BUT I'M LIKE ME
>>25004674
we're all with you on that one bud
She obviously means like you, but attractive bruv.
>>25004674
She meant I wish I had a Chad with your personality op.
ITT Movies that gave you unexpected feels
>Crazy, Stupid, Love
Yeah it's a little cheesy but omg Ryan Gossling and Emma Stone's relationship was so adorable
>mfw Emma calls him out on his bullshit in the cutest way
>mfw Ryan takes off his shirt and his body is fucking incredible and Emma tells him he looks Photoshopped
>mfw Ryan told Emma he bought a $5,000 massage chair and only used it twice and she cracks up and asks him to let her try it
>mfw they're cuddling in bed together giggling and being super cute and flirty
Guys I seriously had butterflies in my tummy it was so adorable. I wish they would date in real life they would be the most adorable/hot couple ever
>tfw all I want is a boyfriend as confident and sweet as Ryan or a girlfriend as funny and adorable as Emma (I'm bi so I'd take either, or both)
>tfw I'll probably never experience either of these things
It's not fair. I just want to cuddle and be cute together with someone ;_;
>but omg Ryan Gossling and Emma Stone's relationship was so adorable
sure thing, stacy
>>>/tumblr
>>25004652
Her face looks like an alien from star wars or some shit.
He looks so autistic.
The movie wasn't even interesting in the way it presented that romance, the relationship between then 2 male characters was the good part of the movie.
I'll cuddle and be cute with you if you post your kik OPPlease
>you get one wish but you can't ask for true love
What do you want?
For me its my hairline
Money, lots of money
To become a better artist.
self-actualization
wakey wakey wagekek. I'm going to go back to sleep for another 5 hours
>>25004485
pepe all you do is sleep dude
>>25004485
Too early, the wagekeks still beg for their precious moments of respite and slumber.
>tfw woke up at 9am
>read for an hour
>rode the train to work an hour early
>currently eating a nice lunch in a coffee shop
>work until about 4pm and then it's back home
You know you guys don't have to get McJobs right? you could get a part time job or a night job or anything. It doesn't have to be a 6am wakeup
Go to 2chan and bring back some spoils. The weirder the better
Holy fucking shit, weirdest thing I've ever seen.
leave channel 2 alone
>>25004472
DUDE WTF? MODS!
According to you, what is a "failed normie"?
>>25004447
this queer
>>25004458
Seems too specific of a person and situation for me to give a shit.
You have some vendetta on him or something?
>>25004447
Someone who had every chance to succeed: friends, education, stable or loving household, financial support, and actually lived as a healthy functional human being for an extended period of their life before squandering their opportunities, in many cases repeatedly, until they were left friendless, unsuccessful and depressed.
If aliens came to earth and asked 4chan to show them a video that proves humans are worth keeping alive
Hardmode: no porn
pic related
>>25004436
> needing a hard mode
but anon you've already asked the impossible.
>>25004436
http://youtu.be/5tuf59ex-U0
Eggman will show them the truth.
>>25004436
ok here u go aliens
>feelin' fine
>remember I have no friends
>ree
I used to have friends, and it was terrible, but it was still better than this shit. I want them back so much. I can't fucking stand this.
I've never had any friends and I never want any, is that bad?
i have friends
for me it usually goes
>feelin' fine
>remember how ugly I am
>ree
i have two friends left, basically only talk to them in vidya now.
Where do you put your cum?
Even when I flush or throw it away it's still there sort of, feels kind of gross knowing my jizzy tissues are forever out there somewhere. Nestled in disgusting trash.
Surely there is a better way.
>>25004352
in your mother's mouth
>>25004352
I usually jackoff while on the toilet as well, every now and then there is a huge glob so I just take some toilet paper (enough so I don't touch the water) and wipe it then flush again.
>cum on hand
>walk to bathroom and wash off
easy
I jerk off enough that its never an uncontrollable amount of cum that gets all over my shirt and shit.
Just got back from the shops and picked up my din din.
What are my fellow robots going to eat on this fine night?
>>25004309
wtf is a 'Bakehouse'?
>>25004361
i think it's a house of baking
>>25004361
It's where you mum gets stuffed, faggot.
