Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1061. page
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>be me
>couple of years ago, round late 2013
>me and my friend are drunk and looking trough facebook trying to find hot women to harass
>come across a goth qt
>let's say her name is Hannah
>decide to message her
>not bothered that shes talking to 2 drunk dudebros
>several hours later it's 4am and I'm still talking to her while my friend is asleep
>shes freaking awesome
>same music taste, sense of humor, interests and such
>mentions she is a lesbian
>feelsbadman.jpg
>meh, atleast I'll have a hot lesbo I can pretend is my gf and shes cool
>we talk pretty much every day and at summer we decide to meet up
>we live like 3 hours apart and we both had a fuckton of work with school, so we never really had time to meet before
>shes even prettier irl
>we spend the day hanging out with my friends, she seemed to like the company
>end of the day she goes to sleep over at my place
>ain't nothin gonna happen she likes vag
>as I begin to fall asleep I feel her arms around my neck
>she cuddles me and tells me she had a great time
>our eyes lock and we kiss
>SHELIEDTOME
>I don't care son I'm finna get my dick wet
>realise I don't have protection
>areyoukiddingme.mp3
>she ends up giving me the best succ of my life
cont?
>>29555601
Fuck whatever, I wanna see how this turns out. Don't disappoint me OP
>she went home soon after we woke up
>it's like nothing happened
>never really talk about the fact that she lied about being a lesbo
>whatever, probs just didn't wanna be hit on
>a few weeks later I ask her to come over again
>she comes to my place and we start fucking like rabbits
>round 1am I get a phone call
>litteral nigger voice asks "Is Hannah with you right now?"
>"n-no, who is this what the fuck?"
>"sorry to wake you man, my sis ran off with some dickhead and someone told me this was his number"
>"wrong dickhead pal"
>I hang up and put my pants on as sphagetti is pouring out
>I wake her and yell at her
>"Why the fuck is your brother calling me, wake the fuck up you're going home"
>I take her to the bus stop and we kiss goodbye
>I come home and I shit you not she's on the news
>"Have you seen this girl? If so, contact...blahblah"
>I text her that the police are looking for her
>She just says she's sorry and doesn't text me back for a few hours
>her bro calls me sometime after and starts threatening to kill me
>"You're dead you piece of shit, you hear me? DEAD!"
>>29555652
more? got 1 more paragraph atleast
>lanklet argues with me that the average height is 6'1
>say sure and that the average penis size is 7"
>he gets mega butt blasted and retracts, calling me a retard
And you told me manlets where insecure
>>29555540
>buttflustered insecure manlet faggot makes up shitty story on a Himalayan knitting board
>tfw 6'1" and 8" x 6" dong
>but still a handholdless kissless virgin
>>29555646
>buttflustered insecure dicklet detected
If your cock isn't at least 8" you're not a real man, sorry :/
![__asakura_mao_futabu_drawn_by_bosshi__sample-3facee3b4c95791f9c49f60c2619102e[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CpAPA2X.jpg "asakura mao futabu drawn by bosshi sample-3facee3b4c95791f9c49f60c2619102e[1]")
You're at the pool and this futa slaps your gf on the ass
What do you do?
Note that she's the president of the futa club and her cock is strong enough to lift a person.
>>29555498
Slap her ass right back. Establish dominance.
Give her a hug :3
>>29555824
>>29555635
Prepare to die, fuccbois
When are blacks going to take the power back?
>>29555451
Ancient Egyptians were Semites, not black.
>>29555451
I always cringe when blacks try to claim they are all these ancient civilizations. Its even worse when they try to claim they were the mongols and vikings which seems to be increasingly common claim by them.
>>29555451
>"take the power back"
as if they ever had power
I'm just curious if this is a small loud minority or if this is what people think nowadays. Are these people mental in the head or am I in the wrong for thinking there was nothing wrong with what he said. I'm frightened by some of the people in the comments. Is this the world we live in nowadays? People are calling for this famous comedian's head and saying he's just as bad as rapists, because he said this in conversation with a policewoman:
>During the June 20 broadcast of "Park Myung Soo's Radio Show," Park Myung Soo got a chance to sit down and talk with a policewoman.
>While discussing the problem of crimes committed against women, the tv personality said, "I guess these crimes happen more often now that it's summer. It's alright if women wear nice clothes, but I think it's dangerous for them to wear overly revealing clothing and go out drinking, or things like that."
>http://www.asianjunkie.com/2016/06/25/park-myung-soo-correlates-violent-assaults-against-women-with-revealing-outfits/
>http://www.soompi.com/2016/06/24/park-myung-soo-criticized-comment-womens-clothing-sexual-assault/
I guess I'm the crazy one.
I will try one (1) bump.
>>29555879
SAUCE PLEASE ANON PLEASE.
Who's the best porn star and why is she Nicole Aniston?
Seriously, her lesbian scenes are GOAT.
>>29555430
She looks like pure stacy and I fucking love it.
>>29555430
I always thought Nicole Aniston was gross.
Evelyn Lin is my favorite Asian girl if thats what Im craving
>>29555430
>fake tits
no thanks.
Can I help you find something?
That's a bad question to ask, because it can be answered with "yes or no". It's better to ask an open ended question, such as "what are you looking for?"
>>29555386
My G-spot
>>29555386
Yeah, where the tendies at wagecuck?
Hot girl body shot. Enjoy
https://youtu.be/GyNjx2L6jKo
thats dumb, id ask for mine in a glass
>>29555367
Women's suffrage was a mistake desu w
>>29555389
More so than a sexy bellow button?
Looking at my Skype and the fact I have over 200 contacts with each and everyone I have known personally from some online activity I find it outstanding no one hasn't chatted with me in almost 2 months.
Even close contacts that saw me as a partner/mentor when it came to gaming or other advice either placed me on full ignore mode or removed me altogether.
At this point I can't tell if it's the online acquaintanceship lasting 2-3 years theory is still true or my personality is that unlikable, even to people online.
Why is it their responsibility to initiate conversation?
I wouldn't put too much stock in it; any type of online relationship is more fleeting than an irl one. I think it's because there's no physical part to it.
>>29555334
People stop initiating conversation if you never initiate it either. People will only ask once or twice if you want to hang out or do something, then they will take a hint when you say no or make excuses.
Its up to you to kindle the flame again. Ask them whats up, then they will start talking to you out of nowhere too.
Roast me, give me all you got wagies. All that pent up frustration and anger...let it go.
>>29555322
>400k a month
>Literally spend all money on whores genetically engineered to be perfect futa waifus
Fuck off neetcuck!
>>29555322
>be wageslave
>NEET asks for my wagies
>what wagies?
>tfw when wageslave
on my week off so im back to living in my own filth status and ive got to say i prefer it massively
>>29555322
>yellow text on yellow background
Your had a very valid point, you really can't do anything fucking right
Who /too intelligent for their own good/ here
>>29555307
i think i am but im really not
>>29555307
>tfw you have that sneaking suspicion that something good is going to fall apart
>tfw you're right
It's hilarious that most of you robots think you're genius intelligence just because you're a social outcast. The great majority of you are lazy barely-above-average intelligence at best.
>sister and boyfriend are fooling around in the next room
cuck. that's YOUR sister
>>29555401
What can I do to stop this
>>29555419
Barge in and throw a bucket of water on them. If you can't find a bucket a vase will do or a large bowl is even better. You need as much water over as much surface area as you can possibly get. DO IT ANON. I BELIEVE IN YOU.
POST RESULTS
Post a gif/picture of how you feel most days
>>29555227
>Then Chad didn't like me
I fixed your little note card for you, whore.
Things are slowly turning around
>>29555235
How I feel daily isn't described using Amanda's situation more describes the feeling that nobody likes me
I'm a truck driver. I meet random women (mostly prostitutes) at truck stops, hotels, casinos, etc. and beat them before I leave. It just started becoming a new thing. I don't even give out my real name. I'll never see them again because I'm always on the road. I just like to punch them in the face or kick them in their back/stomach when they're down. I usually ask permission first (I mean I've met one girl that told me a guy paid her to eat a bunch of corn before showing up and to shit on his chest) but sometimes I do it against their will.
Do I qualify as a robot?
>touching women
No, not really.
Fuck off
>>29555226
>meeting women
No, you are indeed a normalfag
>>29555226
POST THIS ON /b/, CHAD!!!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
bllolololollxxxlloolollobbbllollollllllbbbbllloooxxxx
>be senior high school
>be at rich friend's house to play rock band
>he shows off his massive new TV and everyone is impressed
>we boot rock band but it is all stretched and not HD
>tell everyone I can make it better and cooler
>plug in the component cables and get that shit into HD
>somehow my leg hooks onto a cable and pulls the shelf down with the xbox and the cable box and everyone gasps
>xbox hdmi cable snapped and is stuck
>cable box power cable won't fully connect and won't turn on
>his dad comes in because of the loud noise
>everyone tells him it was my fault
>turns out the kids mom has like 2 seasons of some show that wasn't on the air anymore recorded on the DVR
>she comes in a starts crying after he tells her they are lost
>now there like 10 ppl starting at me
>somehow I fucking ruined rock band fun night and his mom's DVR because I hate stretched output
>fuck 4:3 on a wdescreen
pretty sad that the mom cried
It's your friend's fault for being retarded and not understanding how HD works
You tried to do the right thing and that's what counts.
>>29555223
>be senior high school
that's not even gonna be the worst part of your day, you are gonna be banned from 4chan now
