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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8614. page


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I'm done with /r9k/.

Every single one of you are all hypocrites. You all claim to be the outcasts, the ones rejected by society, you all claim that you aren't normies, that you've somehow figured it all out and you're above the system. Yet you all are no worse than normies, every single day on /r9k/ is the same fucking bullshit, the whole 'tfw no gf' 'waahh why won't girls like me', you whiners are the cancer that's killing /r9k/.

Because, you see, if the worst of your life's problems is the fact that you can't have a gf then you are a normie and you need to fuck off this board right now. True robots have no desire for girlfriends, what robots want is companionship. Real robots want to be able to express their feels in public with a friend that cares about them rather than posting it on an anonymous imageboard and getting sympathy from complete strangers.

This board has become infested with normies and redditors and it's gone to the point where it has become tiring to wade through the pile of bullshit to find a decent thread. I won't miss you /r9k/.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>24091101
Fuck you! I'm a robot.
>>
>>24091291
>and need to get off my board
I keked
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>>24091291
>Final score : 49

Didn't realize it was actually that bad but I was always aware that I belonged here.

who else /drunk/ here? how you guys feeling? whatcha drinking?
59 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>24091058
Doing real good. Missing the usual euphoric feeling when drunk, but I'm doing good. On my 10th beer right now. Whatchu drinkin, OP?
>>
OP here, drinking weiser feeling good senpai
>>
>>24091124
Never been a fan of Weiser. Ever tried Bitburg?

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request drawings for a fun friday night
30 posts and 16 images submitted.
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rapunzel playing baseball
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fug the robot
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>>24091027
otter mode man with 5 o'clock shadow, cross dressing as silver mars, riding M-60 tank, with flames coming out if engine compartments and barrel

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2-word shitposts only

Feed the robot so these phrases can never be used again

First word must be "my" or "your"
65 posts and 9 images submitted.
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my benis
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>>24090986
my nutz
>>
my girlfriend

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Well fuck. 2 months ago I got fired from my shit job because of some middle management bullshit and "Downsizing."

I'm going to level with you anons. I can't afford to pay my rent this month because I had to buy groceries.

You are the only people who have ever really been understanding when it comes to how fucked up life can be. It's rediculously embarrassing but you guys are the only ones I have left to ask for help.

Please help me pay my rent, and keep a roof over my head. I beg you.

[email protected] is my paypal.
15 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>24090973
post time stamped photos of your fridge, your lease and your empty bank account and i will concider it
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>>24090973
I can't afford my rent and I have state full time job. Fuck you.

LET HIM DIE

Fucking normie scum.
>>
>>24090973
Put together a gofundyou

Also
>begging for money on the internet
Gambate, onee-chan!

Tell me about you first relationship/first time asking a girl out.
I wanna hear from you robots.

I wanna know how your first date went/how it was cancelled/how you were rejected.
85 posts and 9 images submitted.
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I've had lots of girlfriends but I've never been on a "date".
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>>24090940

So you can laugh at the misery of those that haven't made it in life on one of their few safe havens on the internet?

I really can't imagine why people like Harper Mercer lose their shit, it's mind-boggling!
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>>24090963
>I've had lots of girlfriends but I've never been on a "date".
How?

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How do you deal with being ugly? Is there any hope of us getting a bf that isn't online?
536 posts and 89 images submitted.
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>>24090932
You can't say those things without posting youself first.
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>>24090988
Gonna have to agree with my man here. Ugly is all relative, you could just be a bitch
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>Wahh I'm so lonely, I can only get affection from the opposite sex ONLINE. I may as-well be dead, Chad would never online date
KYS

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I turned 36 years old today, spending my birthday all alone right now and just getting drunk. Should I completely give up ever dreaming of getting a gf?
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Happy birthday anon. No, you shouldn't give up on it. Put in work and get a girl.
>>
Are you a wizard?

(pretty sure someone asked this question before)
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>>24090918
Do you work out and have a job?

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We post normie music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bznxx12Ptl0
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>24090749
I think they're both high
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>>24090749
top40
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>>24090749
Can you out normie this one?
https://youtu.be/Y66j_BUCBMY

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>40 years from now
>You're laying on your deathbed
>family, friends, nurses and/or whatever you wish are gathered around you
>you feel your final moment approaching

What will your last words be, /r9k/?
98 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>family, friends, nurses and/or whatever you wish are gathered around you

Too unrealistic.
>>
why, my peanus weenus of course

hahah!

it's my weeeeeenus peanus! hahah

What will me last words be - my answer, of course, my peanus weenus

hahaha!
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>>24090624
"I was only pretending to be retarded" and then i hand someone a convoluted map to all of the money i have been saving since i was a kid.

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When you die you start from the very same start of this life all over again
17 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I am bumping this
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>>24090588
Can i do it differently?
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>>24090982
The exact same way anon

In that scenery no

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Why do people actually believe the things I say? It's gotten to the point where I just make stuff up at work. I casually refer to viruses as "sophisticated military grade russian dankware" and people nod their heads at me like they know what I am talking about.

When I'm having a bad day I like to blow things way out of proportion.

>Some woman brings in her computer for a virus
>Some fucking stupid weather app bullshit
"I don't know ma'am, this looks pretty generic, I don't see any reason to wo-"
....
"Ma'am, do you have any reason to believe someone might have it out for you? Any ex boyfriends, co workers, anything like that?"
>windows+R
>cmd
>netstat
>point to list of IP addresses with ESTABLISHED next to it
"My god, they're INSIDE!"
>close laptop
>go to phone, pretend to dial boss
"Yeah, boss? We got a problem... It's Sypher, he's in our network again."
"I don't know how he got past our IDS, I told you we patched that dankware variant lastweek!! Look, there's no time, we gotta pull the plug before he gets to the mainframe."
>pretend to recompose myself
>smile and say "Everything is gonna be just fine, we'll get this cleaned up for you, should be done by the end of the day."
61 posts and 13 images submitted.
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That sounds entertaining. Brings some excitement into everyday drudgery even if it's artificial.
>>
No one likes IT

All those networks that drive our economy and global communication networks?
The guys who work overtime just so you can stream porn in 1080p at the click of a button?

FUCK THOSE GUYS.
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>>24090548
They believe because they don't know shit. Also post more this is hilarious.

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What do girls think of beards? Do they like them? Or are there some downsides? I'm not talking the whole lumbersexual guys with manbuns and shaved side of head I just mean an average guy with a beard like this, does it raise the overall attractiveness or take away from it?
19 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Another example. Please ignore the super attractive man attached to it and consider how it would look on an average guy while you think of the question.
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>>24090492
My pic
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>>24090492

>average guy

They will say it's dirty even if you wash it

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Who /given up/ here
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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If you truly have given up you would have killed yourself by now.
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>>24090463
Given up on the usual stuff. Now i just wanna git gud at fighting games and lay around all day.
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>>24090463
pretty much [ m e ]

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>That feel when ugly son of a millionaire is trying to make moves on my GF
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>24090427
>you have a gf
I want normies to leave. I really do.

I fucking hate normies, they think they have problems. Actual problems, it's funny really.

I havent touched a woman. Never. No hugs, kisses, sex, hand holding, not even a high five.

They see me as an absolutely disgusting rancid being and i don't know why.

And you come here and tell me you're about to loose your girlfriend.
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>>24090427
You know what to do, anon. I hate rich people.
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>>24090533
Maybe OP was posting to make us feel better. His story certainly brightened my day. Get fucked OP.

Not like normies actually care. It's just a moment of grumpiness because someone stole their property. He'll just get another one next week.

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