Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8614. page
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request drawings for a fun friday night
rapunzel playing baseball
fug the robot
>>24091027
otter mode man with 5 o'clock shadow, cross dressing as silver mars, riding M-60 tank, with flames coming out if engine compartments and barrel
2-word shitposts only
Feed the robot so these phrases can never be used again
First word must be "my" or "your"
my benis
>>24090986
my nutz
my girlfriend
Well fuck. 2 months ago I got fired from my shit job because of some middle management bullshit and "Downsizing."
I'm going to level with you anons. I can't afford to pay my rent this month because I had to buy groceries.
You are the only people who have ever really been understanding when it comes to how fucked up life can be. It's rediculously embarrassing but you guys are the only ones I have left to ask for help.
Please help me pay my rent, and keep a roof over my head. I beg you.
[email protected] is my paypal.
>>24090973
post time stamped photos of your fridge, your lease and your empty bank account and i will concider it
>>24090973
I can't afford my rent and I have state full time job. Fuck you.
LET HIM DIE
Fucking normie scum.
>>24090973
Put together a gofundyou
Also
>begging for money on the internet
Gambate, onee-chan!
Tell me about you first relationship/first time asking a girl out.
I wanna hear from you robots.
I wanna know how your first date went/how it was cancelled/how you were rejected.
I've had lots of girlfriends but I've never been on a "date".
>>24090940
So you can laugh at the misery of those that haven't made it in life on one of their few safe havens on the internet?
I really can't imagine why people like Harper Mercer lose their shit, it's mind-boggling!
>>24090963
>I've had lots of girlfriends but I've never been on a "date".
How?
How do you deal with being ugly? Is there any hope of us getting a bf that isn't online?
>>24090932
You can't say those things without posting youself first.
>>24090988
Gonna have to agree with my man here. Ugly is all relative, you could just be a bitch
>Wahh I'm so lonely, I can only get affection from the opposite sex ONLINE. I may as-well be dead, Chad would never online date
KYS
I turned 36 years old today, spending my birthday all alone right now and just getting drunk. Should I completely give up ever dreaming of getting a gf?
Happy birthday anon. No, you shouldn't give up on it. Put in work and get a girl.
Are you a wizard?
(pretty sure someone asked this question before)
>>24090918
Do you work out and have a job?
We post normie music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bznxx12Ptl0
>>24090749
I think they're both high
>>24090749
Can you out normie this one?
https://youtu.be/Y66j_BUCBMY
>40 years from now
>You're laying on your deathbed
>family, friends, nurses and/or whatever you wish are gathered around you
>you feel your final moment approaching
What will your last words be, /r9k/?
>family, friends, nurses and/or whatever you wish are gathered around you
Too unrealistic.
why, my peanus weenus of course
hahah!
it's my weeeeeenus peanus! hahah
What will me last words be - my answer, of course, my peanus weenus
hahaha!
>>24090624
"I was only pretending to be retarded" and then i hand someone a convoluted map to all of the money i have been saving since i was a kid.
When you die you start from the very same start of this life all over again
I am bumping this
>>24090588
Can i do it differently?
>>24090982
The exact same way anon
In that scenery no
Why do people actually believe the things I say? It's gotten to the point where I just make stuff up at work. I casually refer to viruses as "sophisticated military grade russian dankware" and people nod their heads at me like they know what I am talking about.
When I'm having a bad day I like to blow things way out of proportion.
>Some woman brings in her computer for a virus
>Some fucking stupid weather app bullshit
"I don't know ma'am, this looks pretty generic, I don't see any reason to wo-"
....
"Ma'am, do you have any reason to believe someone might have it out for you? Any ex boyfriends, co workers, anything like that?"
>windows+R
>cmd
>netstat
>point to list of IP addresses with ESTABLISHED next to it
"My god, they're INSIDE!"
>close laptop
>go to phone, pretend to dial boss
"Yeah, boss? We got a problem... It's Sypher, he's in our network again."
"I don't know how he got past our IDS, I told you we patched that dankware variant lastweek!! Look, there's no time, we gotta pull the plug before he gets to the mainframe."
>pretend to recompose myself
>smile and say "Everything is gonna be just fine, we'll get this cleaned up for you, should be done by the end of the day."
That sounds entertaining. Brings some excitement into everyday drudgery even if it's artificial.
No one likes IT
All those networks that drive our economy and global communication networks?
The guys who work overtime just so you can stream porn in 1080p at the click of a button?
FUCK THOSE GUYS.
>>24090548
They believe because they don't know shit. Also post more this is hilarious.
What do girls think of beards? Do they like them? Or are there some downsides? I'm not talking the whole lumbersexual guys with manbuns and shaved side of head I just mean an average guy with a beard like this, does it raise the overall attractiveness or take away from it?
Another example. Please ignore the super attractive man attached to it and consider how it would look on an average guy while you think of the question.
>>24090492
My pic
>>24090492
>average guy
They will say it's dirty even if you wash it
Who /given up/ here
If you truly have given up you would have killed yourself by now.
>>24090463
Given up on the usual stuff. Now i just wanna git gud at fighting games and lay around all day.
>>24090463
pretty much [ m e ]
>That feel when ugly son of a millionaire is trying to make moves on my GF
>>24090427
>you have a gf
I want normies to leave. I really do.
I fucking hate normies, they think they have problems. Actual problems, it's funny really.
I havent touched a woman. Never. No hugs, kisses, sex, hand holding, not even a high five.
They see me as an absolutely disgusting rancid being and i don't know why.
And you come here and tell me you're about to loose your girlfriend.
>>24090427
You know what to do, anon. I hate rich people.
>>24090533
Maybe OP was posting to make us feel better. His story certainly brightened my day. Get fucked OP.
Not like normies actually care. It's just a moment of grumpiness because someone stole their property. He'll just get another one next week.
>Go to therapist today
>Outed myself as a virgin the last appointment
>She asks me why, or what's stopping me?
>Tell her I'm not Chad (I didn't actually say Chad, just the qualities that make up a Chad)
>She says she's not attracted to those things
>Laugh
>Asks me why
>Tell her that what women say they want and who they actually go for are 2 very different things
At least she didn't give me normie advice like "jus b urself :^)".
Can therapy actually make a person feel better or is it just an exercise in futility and annoyance? Did your mood ever actually improve after therapy? Did your views on life change even a little bit?
>>24090380
>>24090380
What did she reply?
>>24090551
Bumping this question
>>24090516
And this too.
Tell us more, OP.
>"Anon this party is getting lame and I'm a little drunk haha"
>"How about we go up to your room and you can put on some music?"
what do
let her choose from your various anime and JRPG OSTs, baka
Take her to my room and play this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zjlaGnGZ9g
>>24090183
Ask her what semen demons usually listen to.
