Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8391. page
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What's the worst thing you ever did as a child? I will start.
>When I was growing up, my dad was a cop
>He used to send me text messages while I was at school about the stuff going on in his shift, if anything exciting came up
>I used to love it when he'd send me texts about a murder or other exciting crimes, although this was fairly rare as I grew up in a pretty small town.
>There was a girl at my school called Keira Mackie
>She came from a poor family and was ugly as fuck
>Basically she was an outcast, and a target for bullying
>She was so low down even I used to bully her. >Actually I was way more brutal to her than the popular kids who bullied me, because I had more frustration than them
>She was at the bottom of the pile, had to take everyone's frustration, and consequently lived a truly miserable life
>One day my dad texted me
>He said there'd been a body found in the forest, about a mlle and a half away from my house
>It was a popular spot for suicides, and sure enough the guy was strung up on a tree. He'd hung himself.
>They'd identified the body. It was Kiera's dad.
>Knowing that I had one opportunity to be the one to break the news to Kiera, I ran over to her
>I had to be quick, as the teachers would be finding out at the same time to pull her out of school
>I found her, and as usual she was standing alone.
>"Hahaha!" I said "I know something you don't know"
>"What do you want Anon?" she said quietly
>"Your dad is dead! And he killed himself because he couldn't bear to live with you anymore!"
>"Shut up" she said, but you could see the fear in her eyes.
>I looked over the playground and I saw some teachers walking towards us.
>"Enjoy!" I said, and laughed as they came to take her away.
>Later that day I went to the computer lab to print out a note
>It was Kiera's dad's suicide note, blaming her for his death
>Of course i wrote it myself
>I asked my dad to tell me exactly where they found the body, and left the note there
>>24388093
Fuck you, trash.
>>24388093
gake and fay
>>24388093
Damn nigga that's magnum P.I. shit
whatever happened to her?
I'm 5'6"
Today a woman, shorter than me, said the words "You're so tiny." to me
Someone kill me, the suicide pills are on the top shelf and I can't reach them
I'm 5'7 and that happened to me with a prostitute who was 4'11 and morbidly obese.
Her words exactly, "You're tiny, but HE isn't."
7x5 dick is my only saving grace.
I'm 5'6" too and everyone just assumes I'm gay.
I'm 5'10 1/2 and one time this girl i was hanging out with said "wow anon you're pretty short, I never really noticed"
She was 5'4 at best. I also had shoes on making me closer to 5'11 and change.
New card. What do you think?
bone?
capcha was waterfASLL
>>24387884
>no dubs
>no subtle semigloss finish
>Font Style all over the place
Are you fucking serious?
Lets see Paul Allen's dubs
paullallensdubsplox
Stop complaining that you can't get a girlfriend there are literally so many lonely awkward girls online if you know where to look just go to tumblr.
>>24387839
Nah, i'll go there and give them the attention they want, but it wouldnt go any farther. Kind of like women here
>>24387839
I'd prefer to be single than go after annoying mentally ill bitches.
>>24387892
Did you ever think that maybe it's just you that's the problem?
who /don't have a hobby and spend most of their time in front of the computer/ here?
trying to change tbuh familia
>tfw too stupid to have any meaningful hobbies
I like making maps but I suck at drawing. EU4 is much better.
Hey OP do you read at all? It's basically the most universal hobby
Same, I'm so depressed I dont even enjoy gaming anymore. Just drink shit loads of coffee and listen to music.
Im learning to draw and play the piano, I also 3d model. Sucks to be you I guess
Girls can't be autistic. They can't be spergs.
Prove me wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zhx17Pk69w
Neat thread
>>24387822
yo mama
PROOF: she made you
Don't taint bird waifu by using her for retarded posts like this
Oh, didn't see ya there, Wageslave. Right now I'm eating a warm and 100% FREAH Subway sandwich while waiting for a wagekek's gf to cum over and do anal. You best be getting ready for bed, you need the rest for tomorrow's day of slavery!
Chow!
>bringing up subway twice in the same day
2/10
>say I'm going out for office supplies
>get a subway on the way back
>boss is none the wiser
Hey anon finally you make another one of these, it doesnt feel right without these threads
top donators
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> 7,248.00
Why aren't you pimping out your sister /r9k/?
i'm an only child
>>24387718
she has no tits
>>24387718
Beta fucktards throwing money at twitch whores is legit one of the things that rustles my jimmy's more than anything. Something about it just makes my blood fucking boil...
>tfw /r9k/ is full of anti-normie spam
>tfw /r9k/ used to be full of normies
>tfw this board was known for its tinychat and AIM and skype threads
i spent so much time here in high school and now it's shit ;_;
>>24387705
Sounds lame
>>24387705
I was around when those tinychat and skype groups existed and they were fucking awful circle jerks that you should be ashamed to admit you liked.
>>24387705
The autists invaded when the robot was turned off, since this was always the greentext board that people came to bitch about relationship problems, now it's just every retard who wants an autist safe-space.
Where do you put your jizz after you cum?
I just wipe it into my bathrobe that I wear all day. Used to put it under my mattress but the stains were getting too bad. Now my bathrobe is getting all stiff and crispy from all the dry cum.
>used to jizz into old shirts when I was a kid
>mom had to wash them
>she HAD to have known
S-sorry you had to put up with my jizz mops mom
Three squares of toilet paper folded in half. I throw it in the toilet when I'm done.
>>24387685
i eat it.
>not eating your jizz
>my first and only airbnb host called me creepy and gave me a one star review
flash him
>>24387387
so what did you do?
>>24387420
I think his kids heard me jerking off. That's all I can think of. I tried to be quiet. Only time I spoke to him was when I arrived and I just introduced myself.
>Took 25c
>Now life feels like a cheap porn made by amateur flim college students
Who /psychedelics/ here?
>>24387383
the 25x class of psychedelics are dangerous as hell, i do not fuck with them anymore.
Be careful with psychedelics. Remember that's your brain you're messing with, and any changes you make may become permanent.
>>24387383
Sounds like you watch way too much porn to be associating it with life mate
>That kid who thought about being in a hostage situation but managing to overcome the attacker and save the day
>That kid who thought about stopping time, stripping all the surrounding girls naked, doing sexual acts then resuming time
>That kid who thought about a qt girl having a heart attack/trapped in a fire but was able to save the girl and become a local hero
>>24387273it's free real estate
>>24387273
its not a bowl
>That kid who thought about stopping time, stripping all the surrounding girls naked, doing sexual acts then resuming time
Every man has had this fantasy. If not, you are not a man.
How often do girls approach you? I get approached 2-3 times a week, but I go to a large university and I'm tall and good looking.
about 0 times a life
0 girls a lifetime.
>>24387271
Maybe 2-3 times a year
Does anybody here still care about feels? It seems like nobody really gives a shit about them anymore. People just talk about who they hate now. They just give angry opinions and masturbate. I miss the sad days.
>>24387075
quick bumperini while I greentext my feels story
>tfw all these people want to be happy
>tfw the world makes us fight
Good feel:
>tfw using new meme
>tfw you see other anon start using it
Feels good man
>>24387093
>be me
>late september early october of this year
>I'm a sophomore in college (year 2)
>moved into apartment with "friends"
>the only reason I'm living with them is because they felt pity for me since I have no friends
>anyways one of my roommates is a complete normie
>parties every weekend with chicks, gets drunk/high every day etc.
>and he always partied at our apartment
>needless to say, I just locked myself in my room while they partied
>I tried to avoid them at all costs
>the only time I ventured out was to get water
>it's always the same girls over
>according to roommate every time I've walked out to get water one of the girls would say right after I left
I think awkward nerdy guys are sexy.
>so roommate decides to set me up with this girl
>let's call her Jessica
>Jessica just got out of a relationship with her boyfriend
>I shouldn't have ignored this red flag, but I'm a lonely robot so I'll take anything I can get
>Jessica and I hit it off
>she seems really nerdy
>we talk about video games and Cthulhu, and shit like that
>she tries to get me into anime
>so I start watching shit like Spirited Away
>I do it for her
>anyways, we hit it off
>I really felt I could end up with her
>especially with her nerdy personality
>time goes on and we kind of hookup
>just grinding and boob touching
>then the next weekend she throws a party at her house, and really wants me to come
>so I go
>I am extremely uncomfortable but I do it for her
>then when everyone is going to sleep
>I presumed I would sleep with her
>but her friend that is a girl cock blocks me and sleeps with her in a bed instead
>Jessica apologized to me about it later
>but at this point I figured shit was getting ready to go downhill
>I go on fall break
>and since I've been with her, I've gotten back into Snapchat
>redownloaded it and everything
>needless to say she was the only person I ever snapchatted
Continued.
