Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2862. page
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Who out of you actually fell for the sex meme?
The only reason people on /r9k/ fall for the "tfw virgin" meme is to have something to pin their depression on. Then after getting laid, they realize the sex meme won't make them any happier, so they fall for the wagecuck meme, and they realize that's not going to make them happier either, so they fall for the relationship meme and chase after that for a while. Then comes money, then comes 'leaving a mark on the world', creative endeavours, the having kids meme, and so on, actual order of events may vary
And then they kill themselves or have an American Beauty style mid-life crisis because they convinced themselves that X, Y and Z were the roots all of their problems but in actuality they were just miserably depressed fuckers who should have gone to the doctors or smoked a blunt or something
tl;dr getting qt virgin gf or qt sissyboi or a couple of million in wagecuckbucks isn't going to make you less miserable. Come off this board and legitimately examine what about your life makes you unhappy. See a medical professional if you have to
>>28615394
So basically life is a series of memes?
What's the point then?
Been through most of that. I totally agree.
My only ambition is to get out of my parents home so I can be a drug addict and spend the rest of my life sitting on my ass.
No other experience has lifted my depression even slightly.
>>28615394
Who is this jewess bitch? She shows up periodically on r9k and /b/ but i have no luck with reverse image and /r/
>when grandma said you were handsome
>Deep down shes just trying to comfort me
>>28615347
>were
So why aren't you handsome anymore?
>"wow anon, have you got taller since I last saw you?"
No grandma you last saw me 3 fucking weeks ago I'm not a fucking clone trooper I don't grow in 3 weeks you stupid bitch
Do you abide by the Robot Commandments?
>>28615331
Of course not. l'm just hear to laugh at neckbeards.
>>28615331
I literally don't check for any of those but you can't stop me from posting here so fuck you XD
Literally the only one that doesn't apply to me is 10.
I only came on this board a few days ago and already I fucking hate it.
>be black
>penis is 4.9 inches long
Yeah, you don't have anything going for you. But make it your own, anon. Be the best black and dickless guy you can be
>>28615270
Hey mang, it's daijobu. Don't worry desu, get chuck fetishes and humiliation ones
>>28615270
>lain will never get her normie waifu
I'm tired of coming here and seeing pictures of cocks. Does anyone else get sick of it? It's not like I'm one of those guys that has an aversion to them and only watches lesbian porn or something, I just don't want to open up this board and see dicks of all shapes and sizes on my screen.
I hate most of the porn here too. I love porn. Coming here and seeing porn makes me feel sick though. Instead of making me feel excited it makes me feel dirty. I just want to talk to people.
I also really like granola bars.
I just hid like 10 threads. I'm willing to bet this board is a lot less depressing without penis size envy threads and threads asking how tits feel. Surely someone else must be feeling as I do.
>>28615212
Well said, OP.
Porn is great in the right context, and to quote Michael Scott, "... A penis, when seen in the right context, is the most wonderful sight for a woman. But in the wrong context, it is like a monster movie. "
I, too, like granola bars. But I think donut holes are better.
>>28615288
It pisses me off to no end anon. I want to strangle whoever keeps making these fucking threads. We always say NORMIES GET OUT REEEEEEEEE when someone isn't a virgin but why can't we tell these fucking assholes that come here and post threads specifically to make us feel bad to get out of here?
Fill out your chart and find your perfect qt.
wow for once this thread doesnt take off
ill still drop mine cause I like talking to new people
>>28615172
Here's a bumparoo while I fix mine up.
Nobody ever emails me, but here goes another try:
[email protected]
What do they feel like, Robots?I only know through clothes, but that's because I used to molest girls in MS and HS.
>>28615152
>I used to molest girls in MS and HS.
W-why would you do such a thing?
That's immoral and criminal.
>>28615152
Well, you can always see for yourself the robot way.
>>28615168
Yeah, sue me.
What does this hair color mean in grills?
I'm a soulless bitch
rare and qt
>>28615110
Literal albino. Don't believe their lies.
Well /r9k/,
Is my girlfriend white?
Dunno. There's no clear definition of race among monkeys.
Nope. Fat and mulatto.
looks latin american
tell me about the most sexual thing that ever happened to you
I fucked a girl bareback and came inside
>>28614923
one time I masturbated
While I was in second grade, a classmate "pressured" me into showing him my privates, I did and got rock hard, he also asked to see my butt. We did this twice.
>tfw you didn't know masturbation causes balding
>if someone told me this 10 years ago I would still have a full head of hair
Don't make the same mistake guys
>>28614859
Is that what mommy told you so you'd stop doing it?
I've heard pooping and peeing causes old age too watch out guys OP is right.
lolwut I have been jerking off almost everyday (some months 2-4 times a day) for the pass 13 years and I have a full head of hair.
you have shitty genetics
>tfw ban expires
>you've been bannedfrom all boards
too cruel 4 me
>tfw you have to stop browsing 4chan for a few minutes as your router resets
>>28615806
Thats the only type of ban I've ever gotten, didn't know for a long time that you could be banned from individual boards.
Fucking mods are assholes.
Is /r9k/ religious? Seems like our holy mother the church is exactly what this place needs.
>>28614679
Allahu akbar, anon
No. I'm already moral without religion. The normies need it. What benefit would it give me besides a community I could pretend to be a part of, but would still get ostracized from for not being a normie.
>>28614871
>What benefit would it give me
Eternal life, true happiness, guidance above anything man can offer
>Not an American
>Can't buy myself a nice AR-15 and go empty mags at the range to vent my frustration at being a KV loser
Why live?
There's other stuff you can do to let out some frustration.
Anything from literally running until your legs give out to some autistic hobby, to even drinking.
Drinking not advised if you are an aggressive drunk.
Well we have this thing called background checks over here so the likelihood of a random autist getting an AR is pretty low to begin with
>>28614782
If OP isn't a felon and is over 18 he can literally walk into a store in most states and leave an hour later with an AR, doesn't need a license or anything
>>28614667
>not getting your greencard
>be me
>date a girl who is kinda chubby, would only play video games, she was cute but I'd rate 6/10
>we get to know each other reasonably well
>become best friends
>start dating
>she goes through a major depressive stage
>I'm too shy to express myself
>I end the relationship
>two years later
>she's had a boyfriend since and has been asked out many times
>she is now a 10/10 QT, she lost weight and now is the most talented person I know
>despite all this; she is lonely
>we start to become friends again
>this time, I'm less of a fuck up, I'm super expressive of my feelings
>we're closer than we were when we were dating
>she realises I have a crush on her
>starts talking about love
>she strongly implies that she doesn't have feelings for me
>at the same time is showing me more affection that anyone else ever has
Is there anything more painful than being on the cusp of rejection with the person you care about the most?
Actually confessing your feelings and having it all crash down around you.
The friendzone doesn't exist retard
You're not her friend, you're her emotional crutch, aka beta orbiter. Cut the bitch loose before you becone tidal locked and can't escape
If she actually gave a shit about how you feel she'd put distance between the two of you when it became apparent there was a conflict of interests, at least for a while
Nigga you better man up if u want this. Women dont want a depressed emotional sissy boy u gotta stay strong for yourself and be solid as a rock for her. Dont respond like a faggot respond like a big man who takes care of himself and her
