Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6274. page
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Tell me about your parents, robots.
>>25561891
My dad is former NSA, right now he's a senior engineer at a computer consultant/technician company.
My mom has always been a stay at home mom.
They got married as soon as my mom turned 18 and had me a year later, so they feel young enough to be more like friends than actual parents.
>>25561891
Only child, they're in their late 50s, work hard, difficult jobs for very little pay. Good people. They don't deserve a disappointment like me.
>>25561891
My dad is like 55 and my mum is 50.
They used to get into fights when I was younger
He used to beat her physically
My mum emotionally abuses me
Says you're just like your dad
I wish you was never born
Call's me a druggie or mental
Is obsessed with money
Works two jobs and makes me give her 100 British pounds every week the bitch.
No emotion towards any of them two. The sky will rain confetti when they die.
what is it with girls announcing theyre vegan? This girl on my facebook says shes vegan at least once a month.. its the most retarded fad ever
NOBODY CARES THAT YOURE VEGAN
She's not like the other gurls :^)
>>25561516
because believe it or not retarded people thinks fish is not MEAT, gives you soup with some beef juice or shit like that, so you make sure everyfucking body knows what you eat, so there is no awkward moments.
also cool points for not killing cute animals
>>25561516
That post doesn't make any sense. Just because someone eats meat, that doesn't mean they're not interested in eating your fruits, nuts, seeds, veggies, or whatever else.
ITT post your youtube homepage
judge others and be judged
I'll start.
I watch some pretty good stuff.
>>25561052
I don't even know what to say about this shit.
csgo.. minecraft.. pissing in toilets.. yep pretty standard
Dear GC
I regret how I acted during our relationship. I didn't give you a single thought, and now I've paid the price. You were the right girl that came along at the wrong time. Not one day goes by where I don't think of you and wish you would contact me. I love you so fucking much.
Everyone else is pigeons.
S
>>25560772
Lovely CS,
I want to kill myself because I'll never get to bend you over and bury my tongue in your sweet asshole
Everyone else are pigeons
C
Much missed mom,
I miss you every single day and hope you're watching over me.
Everyone else is pigeons
K
Hi dad,
I know this will disappoint you, but I'm gay
Everyone else is pigeons
T
>meet girl online
>on a website for book recommendations
>she's shy
>she's polite
>we get on well
>she lives fairly close to me
>she actually asks me out
>decide to google her as extensively as possible, like a fucking autist
>she's on fucking Fetlife
>she's a fucking sexual deviant
For a moment there, I thought I'd made it.
As long as she's not a mega slut, i've stopped judging. I'm into some pretty degenerate stuff myself. You could make her your practice gf though.
>>25560528
Practice gf.
Come on man most girls are sexually perverse these days. Most of them love to be dominated nowadays.
>>25560548
this tbqh op. you have to look past the bad to see the good
>be of Jewish descent
>average middle class white American
>Be pretty normal
>Every single group I've gotten in over the past few years has immediately started making fun of me and excluding me because I'm "the jew"
What the fuck, /r9k/? I thought you guys were OK for a minute there, and then you start doing the same shit all the normies have done to me for my whole life, treating me like garbage because my grandfather went to a different "church" than yours.
Don't you see you're playing into the mainstream normie propaganda by blaming everything on "the Jews"? Don't you see that we've been getting treated like garbage for centuries and no matter how hard we try to make the best of our situations and be successful everybody still shuns and excludes us?
Jews are the eternal, original, and ultimate robots, and you're as bad as Chad for playing into the endless normie propaganda against us.
nice try goldstein but i'm not interested in buying a blacked.com subscription today
>>25560118
>See a goy's penis
>It isn't circumcised
>OY VEEYYY
>Bulldoze a palestinian home to feel better
>Bomb American vessel and blame it on egypt
>Ask Germany for 15 billion dollars
>One dollar for every jew killed in the shoah
>Go home to count my Gold
>Direct an interracial porn and campaign for open borders for the USA
>Sleep knowing I'm god's chosen
>>25560118
>friends
This is where you fucked up, buddy
My best friend's girlfriend just told me that she's in love with me. She wasn't drunk and she made it clear that she was being serious. She said that she's been in love with me for 'several weeks' and that she can't stop thinking about me. She started kissing me on my neck and then she started rubbing my crotch through my jeans. We made out for a few minutes. She started unzipping my jeans and went down to her knees right in front of me on my couch, but when I realized she was about to suck my dick I stopped her and gently pushed her away. I told her that I love her boyfriend like a brother and that I couldn't betray him. She stuck out her lip and started pouting, but then she smiled and kissed me on the cheek and said that resisting her just made her want me more. She told me to call her later tonight if I change my mind and then she left.
I've been friends with her boyfriend for over 17 years. He is my best friend. However, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever known and I'm starting to think that fucking her would be worth losing him as a friend. She's that god damned beautiful.
>pic related.
What should I do anon? I'm so fucking morally conflicted right now. I've never been this tempted to do something so unequivocally wrong.
she's playing you like a fiddle. she doesn't give a goddamn about you.
also,
>>>/b/
>>25559694
that's a dude isn't it? really fucking good though, probably shoops and all.
but i just know man, i just do.
your insane lust for power, no good.
>>25559694
get the fuck out of this place and never come back nigga
Anyone have experience using rubmaps and going to asian massage parlors?
I'm strongly thinking about doing it.
>>25559666
damn fucking checking those triples.
nah just read a good book instead.
>>25559666
Ya I do. What do you need to know?
>>25559714
How do you initiate the process?
I need to lose ~100 lbs. Give me the /r9k/ approved diet plan.
im 5'8 ~120 lbs, all you need to do is eat one meal a day and you'll lose weight. sometimes i cheat by having a snack when i get really hungry, just dont go overboard and you'll be good senpai
>>25559587
No idea but the easiest and simplest thing you can do is add fiber to your diet. Start eating a high fiber, bran-based cereal for insoluble and fruit for soluble fiber. Obviously cutting out excess fat/sugar/salt is important too, though it'll take a while to get used to the taste of food without it.
>>25559627
How many calories do you do in that one meal?
If I do that I'm gonna need something to snack on during the day that is really low calorie to keep me full. I'm thinking lots of cucumbers and celery? Pretty bland though.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/17/in-other-life-isnt-fair-news-beautiful-people-are-more-intelligent-too/
Just a daily reminder that Chad is smarter than you
A London School of Economics study finds that, in general, attractive people have higher IQs as well.
The report which included 52,000 people from the U.S. and U.K. shows that good-looking men have IQs that are 13.6 points above average, while pretty women have scores 11.4 points above the norm.
Genetics are everything.
>>25555421
>hows that good-looking men have IQs that are 13.6 points above average, while pretty women have scores 11.4 points above the norm.
But the smartest are ugly as sin, so it's all the way to read the statistics and manipulate it.
Obviously you're both ugly and stupid
>attractive people are given better grades by their teachers
color me shocked
Only Mexi allowed to post
>tfw you can't read or write in Spanish and hardly talk in Spanish
>tfw when you can only grow a mustache not a long gorgeous beard
>>25553716
>Segregating feels
Por que rason familia?
Can you read that?
>Being uneducated
Are Nicaragua bots allowed mexi bro?
>>25553760
Y the reason family?
I never was taught by my family they were always busy
Im boredand sad
>>25552560
>go for a walk
>read a book
>watch a movie
>take some antidepressants
>sleep
That's what I do when I'm bored.
>>25552560
I will just visit you then for a hug
>>25552713
>go for a walk
Its 4am and very cold
>read a book
Lame
>watch a movie
Maybe
>take some antidepressants
If I had any
>sleep
Just woke upIm still bored
>>25552808[panic]
>tfw a girl likes you
>tfw you think a girl likes you because she wants to spend time with you but she makes sure to drop "My boyfriend is blah blah" in the middle of a conversation after you got your hopes up and she actually just wants homework help.
>>25551907
WOA! That was unexpected. Never like happened to me before...like ever...and she's still sorta...sticking around...like...WOA!
Nah, never happened.
just get it off your chest
I want her thighs to crush me
>>25550355
One time I shat on my floor just to prove to my brother I'd actually do it but when I tried to clean up the fallen poop I just grabbed it in a huge chunk in a paper towel and threw the whole wad down the toilet and the toilet was clogged for like a week and I didn't have the heart to tell my mom it was because I shat on my floor to win a $3 bet so I just let her believe our plumbing was fucked
i declined a booty call from one of my exes because I didn't want to cheat on my then girlfriend just to find out later that week from a series of texts from an unknown number that "your girl is cheating on you bro, sorry to tell you. She's asleep in the other room and doesn't have a lock on her phone, I saw your number and thought you'd want to know, been happening for three months now"
tried to kill myself, then-girlfriend phoned police because I told her my blood was on her hands, raced to hospital, stomach pumped
fuck the police, i wanted to die
You a villain yet?
No.
I am a TRUE HERO.
Now i only need someone to play the villain so we can have fun.
No one's a villain in their own story.
>>25528947
what would that entail?
how can you be an evil villain without being an edgelord?
If I was cast into a movie or book or something I'd be a background character.
