Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7149. page
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>be me
>please myself before sleep
>no tissues, so I go and drop off into a pretty much empty bag of peanuts
>next morning mother wakes me up so I get my shit together and go clean the bathroom
>on the way out of my room she notices the bag and finds some leftovers
>OH SHIT, NONONONONONO
>she picks out the last peanuts from the very bottom of the pack
>just_kill_me_already.jpg
>she goes to the kitchen and thros it away after eating the last ones
I'm going to have nightmares now, I have no idea if she realised there was something odd about the snack.
>>25215465
Why the fuck did you think it was acceptable to nut in a bag of peanuts?
Why not just use dirty laundry? It's like you enjoy being autistic.
>>25215492
I used up all my dirty laundry long time ago.
Even used some underwear I didn;t use anymore.
I couldn't use anything else, especially considering I tend to leave bad stains from cum.
Like, I used to wipe myself with the corner of the bed sheet I slept on. And believe me how fucking badly stained this hsit was. I think I still have it hid inside my bed. I propably should get rid of it, comes to think of it.
>>25215465
are you this autistic by choice Anon?
>tfw drugs are the closest thing to magic in this world
>>25215416
Tbh I always thought STEM subjects were, with programming being the closest manifestation of it.
>>25215546
robot
>>25215416
normalfaggot
>>25215546
WAIT DESU IS UNCENSORED?
TEST:
desu
senpai
baka
I want to impregnate a girl
>tfw no fertile gf
Just date a nigger and raise some black guy's child.
>>25215410
My gf literally had an abortion last night. You dont want that, esp if you're not ready.
>>25215472
>My gf
your girlfriend and you are pretty retarded
>Finally get the Dutch courage to talk to one of hottest girls in school
>She actually responds
>Talks for a few days
>She sends nudes
>Dirty talks
>Says she wants to fuck me
>Tell her that she makes me happy
>"aww that's a bit cute, we can have like the best cute best friend relationship"
I thought I finally left you faggots forever, but here I am again.
She thought you were gay
Oh man thats hilarious
>>25215415
I had the vibe that she did the whole time, even shaved the neckbeard for her.
>>25215404
women are volatile
What rating do you have to be to not be considered a creep? 7/10? 8/10? 9/10?
>>25215247
10 and white tbqh
I doesn't matter if you're a 2/10. You just need to look clean and not be dressed in retarded clothing.
>>25215315
Pretty much this
Being a creep is less about looks and more about not being some aspie fuck with shit social skills.
Thread for friendless virgins.
.......
So what are your plans for Christmas?
Go to my Grandma's for Christmas and hope people get me what was on my wish list and don't constantly tell me to get a job.
stay home and cry
>>25215243
You could make up some shit about how you've become enlightened and no longer need to work.
Like pretend you're training to become a monk or something.
What's the deal with the wishlist? Did you hand one out to your relatives or something?
>>25215257
I'll be doing this while trying to chug down alcohol. I really hate the taste.
Anyone here ever get a spontaneous urge to either laugh or make a random noise?
Yeah like a sim
>>25215184
it just feels weird
i could just be sitting there then just do a quick high pitch laugh. Are people meant to do this?
I scream when I stretch
> pound off to Instagram/Facebook pictures of a girl from your uni who you know you'll never but up enough to speak to on a daily basis
> after a few months of this, fall madly in love with her
> can't approach her but now can't live without her
Anyone else know this feel? I've learned a lot about this girl just from rooting through her social media for fap material.
The trick is to not care about girls like that any more.
>>25215118
This happened to me. I ended up messaging her on Facebook and she ignored me. Your best bet is to talk to her in person.
>>25215118
>>25216153
in the same boat. hes right tho. do everything in person. never message. never add her on social media
these are starting to become rules,and guidelines
Reminder that you're depressed because you're supposed to be living like this.
Left is convincing
right might be if he wore makeup
>>25214987
you're hella missing the point
>>25215021
I don't mind missing the point of a shitpost
>tfw parents invite a bunch of family members and friends to spend Christmas Eve with us
Why do they ignore the fact that I hate "parties" and large amounts of people even though I tell them that 24/7?
>>25214928
>>25214928
because its not all about you faggot
Just load up on alcohol. Holidays are 1 of the most accepted times to drink
>>25214942
This you selfish cunt. Fuck off.
Space station 13 stories.
I always join hippystation as an atmos tech, put a remote igniter in medbay and maybe another by the shuttle. Then I flood the entire station with plasma 5 mins into the round and hit the button so that medbay is completely unusable for the duration of the round
>>25214835
Haven't played SS13 in years but I had some good times there
One round I got captured by security for no reason, arrested, tied to a chair, force fed a whole bottle of cat viagra, beaten, mildly electrocuted, then welded into a locker and airlocked.
IIRC the fuckers who did it left me bound in the locker and equipped me with a spacesuit and oxygen bottle, etc. except the bottle was partially filled with that orange plasma (?) shit so I was forced to wait out the rest of the round unconcious from lack of oxy and drifting through the void.
>playing meme games
You probably loved Undertale too
>tfw alone on christmas eve
who even cares
>>25214779
Being comfortable with being alone (while not being a fucking shut in) is one of the greatest things you can teach yourself. I'm a fucking chad on the surface and have great social skills but dealing with people is exhausting and I spend about 80 percent of my alone time solo.
>>25214779
>tfw I want to be alone on 31th but my parents don't wan't to leave me alone.
What are your favorite topics to study in your free time?
I enjoy studying Christian history and theology
>>25214778
Economics. I know what to do in our political state. Too bad nobody would vote for me if I came out and said it, though.
What are some good introductory\general books on those topics, OP?
Free will, I still wonder how people can believe in it.
>Sup little brother! Still living at mom and dad's?
>>25214767
my older brother isn't a corporate black man I can't relate to this
>22
>still live with my parents
>guy in work is 19 and already has moved out and has a girlfriend and is renting his own place
feels bad man
on the bright side
>i have thousands in savings
>he is always hovering around 0
i pay my mum 40 pounds/60 dollars a week. I get fed, my clothes washed and everything else I need for that...
>>25214839
Hahahahahahahaha
Same.
Okay, let's say you have sex.. now what? Are you fools suddenly happy and set for life?
regular sex would give me a reason to get up and go to work in the morning
I had sex once.Nothing changed. Maybe if I do it a second time everything will be different.
>>25214701
This. There needs to be a happy medium. Right now, most of us are at one extreme of the spectrum.
![hqdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/TPYCvLB.jpg "hqdefault[1]")
