Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4543. page
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How are yougonna kill yourself?
>>27419327
By jumping from my apartment building roof, if it comes to that. Messy, but probably impossible to survive.
800mg of codeine and a belt tied to a doorknob
>>27419577
Are you 2 ft tall?
hello our good friend, are you here tonight? celebrating easter in some way with your roomies? when is maria coming back? do you have a little time to relax now?
bump for the best /r9k/ poster, maybe he missed the thread
>tfw pedro is probably spending time with his roommates or doing the bulgarian bag workout while you sit here alone waiting for your good pal
>>27419313
>celebrating easter in some way with your roomies?
all of them went back to their homes for the rest of the week
>>27419313
>when is maria coming back?
next week, I guess
>>27419671
>doing the bulgarian bag workout
I actually did it like an hour ago, with some squats, hinges and wall pushups, I just got out of a cold shower
>tfw slow internet
>tfw takes 10 minutes to load 5 minute video in 480p
>tfw live in america, this shouldnt be my life
i live in a very rural area, is there anything i can do to increase my speed??
>>27419274
got this baby for 10bucks/month. USA is third world country when it comes to internet and prices bruh
>>27419274
steroids
steroids
steroids
steroids
steroids
>>27419311
>>27419274
honestly this makes me very upset. I live in reno, nevada and I pay 60/ month for 6 megaBITS, not bytes, BITS per second
How do I become a narcissist? I need to feel some love from somewhere man.
Being a narcissist has nothing to do with loving yourself and everything to with hating yourself and hoping no one finds out about you.
>>27419210
This is wrong
It's an attempt to sound deep and smart but it's factually, figuratively and literally, wrong
>>27419210
Nope, narcissists are on a whole other level. I want to be up there with them.
How's working hard to leave a legacy going, wagecuck? Make sure you take sometime to rest. Monday is right around the corner.
The joke is on you, Monday is a bank holiday
Joke's on you ass boy, I'm getting paid time and a half to shitpost.
>>27419155
Jokes on you oh wait jokes on me :(
>when your mate's wife is taller than you
Makes for a nice reaction picture.
>>27419108
You're right, I save it.
>>27419083
I guarentee you Putin cucked Assad and did lots of other evil shit in exchange for saving his ass
I need help /r9k/
My roommates and I threw a party last Friday. We only invite our "friends" but sometimes other people come too. This time a girl that I had met once before came with her friend and we talked quite a bit.
She's a freshman and I'm a senior, but she still seemed interested in me and when she found out I am in a punk band (I neglected to inform her it is a normie hate band and I write songs advocating the genocide of social media users, etc.) she had me put my number in her phone so I could let her know if we ever had a show. She texted me so I had her number too.
All going well so far, right? Well... Her and her friend began talking about traditional SJW shit like voting for Bernie and stuff and I drunkenly chimed in that I don't vote. This led to a discussion where I told them basically that we are all born slaves and this world is a prison and nothing we can ever do will change that, etc. etc. Pretty much through out my entire "nothing matters" bullshit in about 5 minutes. They of course disagreed with me but we still kept talking and stuff, very friendly. Then they left because it was very late.
Now, my question for you is how do I text her to try and set up a date? It's already been a week so my window is closing, if not closed (but I still want to try). I can't ask her for a drink since she's not 21. I definitely do not want to say something that might cause her to remember my nihilism spiel like "Hey, I had fun talking to you at the party" or anything like that. I know I overthink and worry too much about this stuff but I feel like "hey, how's it going" leading into "want to get lunch" or something is going to sound stupid.
I just have no idea what to say to her at all. If I saw her in person again I could definitely guide the conversation where I want it to go but I simply cannot do that through text, especially if I have to text first.
I desperately need your help, robots. Thanks in advance.
>>27419044
kill yourself.
try with a, hey wanna hand outinsert activity place time
you are really funny and interesting etc
>>27419458
are you sure? that seems too.. idk, dumb sounding to me. should i try small talk first?
>>27420697
do you senpai, it's better to be direct and not dance around it
What are green flags for being alive?
Not for dating, just for living?
>>27419005
That is probably subjective but many people share the same ideas.
Buy-one-get-one-free sales
Always a green flag
>>27419005
Uhhh. Green flags for life.
>Having a best friend who understands you.
>A healthy amount of /out/
>acquaintances who aren't constant social climbers
>Knowing what you're about without getting down on yourself (for example, I know I'm boring to most people, don't talk a whole lot unless I deem it neccessary) but occasionally I run into someone who shares someone of my interests or skills, and when that happens, you can't shut me up, I have plenty to say.
There's a start OP
Saw this on a /pol/ thread. It seems more fitting for this board though.
>>27428492
what are we rolling with? just any number generator?
Roll why not
asdf
>>27428557
>Being this new
holy shit
will any femanons/roasties e-date me? we dont have to see each other. you can be ugly too. i just want someone to talk to everyday. im so lonely.
pic not related
>>27418970
>pic not related
you are obviously a retard. so no
>>27418970
Huh-hoo! Cuckoo!
Fuck off beta enabler
>>27418994
okay.i hate myself
Robots, do you want a girl who:
> fucks you like she loves you
> fucks you like an animal
1st girl will never do anything degrading like oral or anal, 2nd will always do that but she'll always seem like her mind is somewhere else.
Which one?
>>27418915
Easy choice: #1
>>27418915
1st obviously
First one of course :3
Is suicide really painless?
>>27418866
Once you die, you'll not notice the pain.
maybe you're not grasping the concept of death, chief
>>27418866
It can be
but typically, people commit suicide when the pain of living is harder to deal with than the pain of dying
also
>>27418875
Ask an almost Chad anything
It's almost time to leave you guys, I just need to do one more thing
>>27418863
>I just need to do one more thing
?
>>27418863
who would win? polar bear vs walrus vs 100 penguins
>>27418895
Probably learn how to not be an awkward sperg.
>under 6 1
>dicklet (penis under 8 inches)
>no job
>plays video games (LOL, DOTA, MC)
>earns under 80k a year
>doesn't go to the gym at least 3 times a week
>less than ten close friends
>lives at home
>Is over or under weight
>glasses/contacts = shit genetics
>doesnt have a facebook or tinder account
>has had sex with less ppl than i have (20 ppl at 18 yo)
Am i missing any others?
>>27418789
>close friends
>10
What does close mean to you
>>27418789
>like videya
>under 80k
>no gym
>no friends
>wear glasses
>no facebook or tinder
sheeeeiiiit
>>27418832
they will hang out with you via one text message
>my name is George not hor-hay
>>27418781
Whatever you say Jose
>>27418781
CHICANO Jorge JAJAJAJAJAJA
Okay Pedro
![rtrlg4f[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Flk6m0d.jpg "rtrlg4f[1]")
