Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3111. page
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who else here is FUCKING BORING
the idea of even going on a date with a girl seems so foreign to me. I don't know what we would even talk about. I don't know how I could hold her interest for any length of time. certainly not by talking about myself, I just have nothing interesting to say.
it's actually painful. I have no friends because talking to me is a challenge and it's not even worthwhile to bother getting to know me.
>>28458722
I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. ln the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Bury your treasure, burn your crops. Black water rising and it ain't gonna stop.
>>28458722
dude you live in florida, women are easy as shit there
i be kush smokencar ride
she say she like how my car ride
Why the fuck are black guys so fucking cool and based? Fuck me. He just has to get dressed and talk about his life, and he looks like an og and gets women, and then there's me, I wake up and exist solely to repel women, I blink and I get accused of rape just because I am so ugly and beta that just being around me rapes your sensibilities. Fuck.
and yet he has genital warts and is often hungry at night because his mom is scared to make him food so he has to crash somewhere else. Also, he is depending on those sunglasses way more than he should be.
How can i trade my soul with the devil for these good looks?
he's not even that good looking, anon. anyone who needs facial hair to hide weak or undefined features isn't someone worth trading your soul over. speaking from experience hair like that is only nice until your gf tries to run her hair through it and realizes that it's sticky as shit from all the product it takes.
>>28458649
I think i find older men more handsome because i have daddy issues.
Just look. Look at this handsome fucker.
Ever have shit friends?
My friend was having issues coming out as gay.
Me and my other friend help him with this issue.
Instead he is like this
>i have issues
>i blame probs on friends
>i stop talking to friends even though they try to help me
fucking people i swear
Fagots gon be fagots OP
>>28458599
This. Fuck your friends ass that will show it.
>>28458619
OP here
he is being ass hat
"Hey anon I'm bored, let's go and watch a movie. My treat." How do you respond without spilling your spaghetti?
>No you probably have shit tier pleb taste
>>28458293
My schedule's very busy
I'll see if I can fit you in between shitposting and masturbating
I'd say something along these lines :
"It's not funny"
"Nice joke"
You guys all need to get a barking tree frog
>cute
>Very loving. Mine will climb his tank to be closer to me and climb on my arm every time I stick it in his tank.
>Low maintenance
>fun to watch.
Where can I get one
>you were muted for 2 seconds because your comment wasn't original
>>28458289
What if I die and it's lonely?
>>28458289
But can it REEEEEEEEEEEEE?
>Be me
>19 yo kissless virgin
>work at Papa Murphy's
>shit job, good pay
>pretty much jack off whenever i fucking can
>probably beat my dick a good 20 times a day, not fucking kidding
>It passes time and feels good
>at work today
>coworker calls in sick so i'm opening to close alone
>slow as fuck like every Monday
>re-watching kill la kill for the 1000th time on my computer
>chillin' like a cool kid
>all a sudden
>randomboner.jpg
>immediately wanna start flabbergastin' it
>"but you're at work, anon" i tell myself
>"it doesnt matter, anon" i tell myself
>start dry beating to some Anri Okita JAV videos i have downloaded on my computer
>Dry beating wasn't doing it so i start looking for shit to lube up my sorry excuse of a dick with
>find some olive oil we use for keeping dough from drying up in the fridge
>latherin' up muh junk
>feelsgood.jpg
>hear door chime as person walks in the store in the middle of me beating my dick
>scrambling around trying to put away the olive oil, computer, and my dick before he turns the corner to the kitchen
>not fast enough
>owner of the store pauses in doorway and sees me turned other way, back to him
>he kinda pauses awkwardly as I fiddle around with my dick
>he can plainly see Anri Okita sobbing "kimochi... sugoi!" and bouncing on a little chink pecker
>he can plainly see the olive oil mess all over the table
>to make matters worse I zip my nutsack in my workpants during the struggle
>he says "I came to work with you so you wouldn't be alone. why aren't you working?"
>trying to think of excuse
>can't
>"I gotta use the bathroom" I tell him
>shuffle sideways with my back to him all the way to the bathroom
>Literally go in there and cry for about 5 minutes, left my computer and olive oil mess for him to examine
>think about life for a long time
>eventually come back out
>owners not even there anymore, never fucking said bye or anything to me
Do you guys think he's gonna fire me? I mean fuck, i hate the job but he's actually overpaying me
>>28458267
>Anri Okita JAV
good taste anon
>>28458267
probably dude
very original oregano
>>28458267
You're 100% gonna get fired.
Restaurants have to meet safety regulations, dude.
You didn't just fuck yourself over or embarrass just yourself:
You put this dude's livelihood in jeopardy.
You deserve whatever the fuck happens to you.
I miss you, Sarah.
>>28458239
These original feelings
>>28458239
Are you the guy, or is that someone else.
What year was this from?
>replaced your ass with Chad literally
kek
who else /pissed at their parents for having them/?
This world is a fucked up place. I would NEVER purposefully bring anyone into it.
Having kids is literally the most selfish thing you can do.
>>28458214
Sooooooooo angsty.
>>28458214
Me. Im pretty pissed. Terror Management Theory has been around since the early 1970s. Fucking assholes conceived me in early 1987.
Reporting.
Schopenhauer was right.
Is there anything worse than being 5'11 and under??
>>28458197
Being a poo in the loo.
>>28458197
being 5'6" and under
im 5'9
i think im pretty good where i am, just in the middle, where i want to be
>when an old ex messages you on facebook inb4 normie, ree, etc. Fuck you.
>heart sinks instantly
>immediately think about the good memories you had together
>feel like shit
>mfw
Nope too late faggot. Take this to /b/ we dont care.
REEEEEEEE
>good memories
>ex
Aha, if only. It feels like I can only remembered the bad. The good was so fleeting.
that's never happened to me. i guess they all know better than contact me
A friend just invited me to her grandmother's funeral.
I have literally never talked to anyone else in her family and really don't want to go.
Is saying no going to come back to haunt me or anything? How should I say no anyway?
Did you know her grandmother?
Either way, send your condolences and say you won't be able to make it.
>>28457869
Just tell them you're not good at funerals and send your condolences. Maybe plant a tree in Israel in her name afterwards
Go, you will regret it, I did. Though it was my own grandparents so it might not hold the same value.
Your daily reminder that 3D is the cancer and 2D is the answer.
You'll never be happy with 3D.
2D is your salvation.
what is with the weird phenomenon you get after finishing a 2d series? it's an emptiness i haven't ever felt with any other kind of media upon watching completely
>>28457857
2D is bestD
crispychan is really qt though
>>28457978
You miss a perfect world and friends.
Buy the BDs and maybe we'll give you season 2 goyim.
You are transported exactly 10 years back in time but you retain your current memories from today, how do you fix your life?
>almost 11 years old
>get rid of my shitty ugly glasses, get better ones if it can't be helped
>get a proper haircut and start showering on a regular basis (not sure why my mom never fucking controlled this)
>eat proper in hopes of gaining some weight
>get proper non-autist clothes (dump the velcroshit, get jeans and such)
>make sure to get braces early on so I can get good teeth in a few years
>learn any life/hygiene skills that I learned late in my current life as soon as possible
>sell any consoles I had (gamecube and GBA) and invest in a personal computer that I'll upgrade regularly instead, pester my parents to get me internet ASAP
>try to quit most other expensive hobbies
>invest in a decent cellphone
>stick with my old friends that would realistically stay with me until high school graduation instead of being a solitary faggot that never goes out, reluctantly pick up normie hobbies like football if I really have to but don't fall for any drug addictions
>convince my parents to not move out of this country if possible, sell the old rural house and land to buy a small apartment in the city instead
>convince my parents to not blow half of their life savings in an overpriced car they almost never use
>start studying for school at least on a regular basis, enough to reach and pass high school without repeating any grades at the very least
>at about age 16-17, convince my parents to teach me to drive so they don't have to blow a shitload of money on driving lessons
>attempt to get any job during summer breaks, and make sure to save up most of the money I earn
Not aiming for a Chad/successful normalfag lifestyle because my genetics would hinder this potential and I have no desire for such a stressful life, this is barely what I would need to not be an irredeemable awkward proto-hikikomori fuck that thinks of suicide every other day.
Stop my dad from killing that guy.
>fix
>life
>that shitload thousands of songs you don't have yet
>have to beg my parents for money
>can't afford a real pc, playing on an old shitty 15 inch screen again
>self-checkout isn't existing in my country at that time
no thanks
Seriously, anons. What do I need to do to take the blue pill? I can't take it anymore, this world sucks. I'd give anything to go to the fantasy land if it wasn't as bad as this one. There has to a way
>drugs
>reading/writing
>movies (less efficacious though)
>memeitation
>daydreaming
>learning how to lucid dream, sleeping a lot
>creating a religion or any other narrative in your head
>>28457859
But will it feel real? Too much of a coward to do drugs
>>28457819
get an mba from a sort of decent program
practice your golf game
