Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4338. page
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>in spare room with no clothes
>hear oldest brother and 6 friends show up (he doesn't even live here)
>I don't think he knows I'm here
>they're all out in main room talkin about stupid shit, some roastie out there has a really annoying laugh
>suddenly need to piss
>ohshit.jpg
>bathroom is on other side of house
>no way I can make it without being seen
>decide I need to get over my autism or my kidneys will explode
>look in the old dresser in room to see if there are any clothes
>none just old blankets
>see empty water bottle on desk
>have heard about piss bottles on this board before so decide to give it a go
>much better
>5 minutes later I hear someone ask for paper
>"yeah there's some in the desk in that spare room"
>hear footsteps approaching
>I push on the door
>"it's jammed" friend says
>other friend helps push
>door bursts open I fall back, piss bottle spilling
>friends look at me
>both guys kind of gasp
>older brother walks in, starts laughing
>"I didn't know you were home" keeps laughing
>friends join in.
> I stand up to run into closet before other friends can come in and see me
>trip on piss
>while I'm getting up again I hear door shut, they're laughing still
>hear them laughing and telling other friends
>even though I knew they wouldn't come back I felt the need to hide out of trauma
>walk to coat closet, open it up
>there are clothes hanging up
Never too late for an exit bag
I need an original comment so please let this one count you fucking Jewish mod kikes!!
if you had just walked across the house naked you would have saved yourself from embarrassment and looked like a boss
>You spend your friday night reading Hegel
>Chad leaves her ass looking like a bagel
>>27567623
>You contemplate the aphorisms of Schopenhauer
>Chad makes her scream and continues to plow her
>>27567623
>you all night looking at a screen
>chad spends it making her scream
>>27567623
>leaves her ass looking like a bagel
What the hell does that mean?
>tfw a literal 5/10 unmatches with you within a minute out of disgust
How's it going for you guys so far?
I've liked every women I can till I run out of likes for past week and got 0 matches. Why?
>>27567663
isn't it obvious?
your profile.
Let me help you.
I didn't Tinder much but the little I did I got a good number of matches and actually managed to talk to women and get their numbers. I stopped cause I got a GF from it.
>>27567702
theres nothing wrong with my profile though
If you don't have a female name in this thread you will never get to be one.
>ywn have a godtier female name like chloe that guarantees awesomeness and happiness
>>27567502
Be my gf pls Amy
>>27567433
Oh fugg
This is my final nameroll today.
Is there such a thing as a man who isn't a cheating sack of shit if he's able?
Yeah but they are pussies so you would not date them
>>27567437
Why not? Or do you mean they literally have pussies? Because that's more believable.
No
You have to be Chad-tier to be attractive enough to have multiple options, which means you can cheat
Most men are unable to cheat
>Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 107 of 200
>Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 115 of 200
first time doing this test
so am I autistic or not?
what does this mean? I'm kinda confused
It means you are gay and homosex. Sorry.
This isn't a joke.
I got 151
>>27567545
Trying too hard.
I bet you guys feel just awful now.
>>27567192
What if I'm the girl in the picture?
well kinda but I used to wear a hoodie no matter how hot it was to hide my body because I hate myself.
>what are dresses
>implying every woman who steps foot outside is a 10/10 model with tits hanging out of their shirt and obnoxiously pandering to the male gaze
Nope. Not a single bit.
>Hey anon... wanna come back to our hotel room?
>We'll show you a REAL party up there...
To have one, you must have them all. What is your next move?
Literally fuck all of them
Like I'm donna turn down a foursome because one is fat? Of course I fucking do it.
>>27567141
Have sex with all of them. Big girl first hhh I want to suck on them titties
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XXvkl1sYEk
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NrqA45K9gA
Someone made this in an earlier thread........ why.........
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1sufYgHLTCR
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XzYDPV1urG
Closest name to 'BENIS' will be blessed with a 9 inch member tomorrow morning
Benis get
spurdo please bless me
>>27567012
Give me the BENIS!!!
I'm very lonely right now and I feel like shit. I don't want to talk about it in detail, I'd just like to chill in this thread with you guys. Please come join me, believe me I'll appreciate it.
You can tell me about your day, greentext stuff, post nice videos and music, everything goes. Just stay with me for a little.
Man the fuck up before you get slapped the fuck up, lil bitch
>Sheldon
Zimbabwe
>>27567022
that doesn't even rhyme you dumb cunt
I got mushrooms by buying it randomly through a stranger using Yikyak.
It's all crushed though, how am I supposed to eat this?
>>27566989
You can buy mushrooms at the grocery store, Carla. Why did you buy them from a stranger?
>>27566989
post a picture
you may or may not have been sold psychoactive mushrooms. the only ones i ever bought were in the form of full stems and caps
if you don't give a fuck, just eat it all and see what happens.
>>27567019
Because the same person also sold me magic beans, and said that these mushrooms were magic as well
I have brain cancer. I am going to die, i have 7 weeks to live. I wish you all good luck. Thank you all fellas robots. I alredy know i will miss you.
So long. Space robots
I am sorry to hear that. *hugs*
>>27566874
Not sure if it's still archived but here's a thread a terminalcancerbot made recently >>27448621
How old are you fampai?
Ask a girl with a daddy kink anything
Yes I have daddy issues before you ask
Do you wish you didn't have the kink?
literally every girl has a daddy kink, why do you think you're special
Would you fuck your brother?
FUCKING UNCLE TOBY
JUST LET ME EAT MY OATS IN PEACE
REEEEEEEEEEE
>>27566832
What a fucking dick rereereeeee
the hedonism of our time knows no bounds.
"just do what makes you happy"
>If you like fucking other dudes just fuck other dudes.
>If you feel like a woman take hormones get breast implants and rip your dick off.
>If you don't want a baby just kill it.
>If your religion is all about convert or die then I apologize to you for being a different religion and I will try to do better in the future.
>>27566917
Cant tell if bait or just on a very high horse.
