Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4336. page
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Does this jpg file make your phallus swell with hemoglobin?
>>27570309
why is she putting a turd in her vagina?
>>27570309
It makes my esophagus fill with bile.We hate niggers and cucks, fuck off
>>27570309
No because I prefer png format
(Nor am I cuck)
This was actually the best experience I've ever had in my life.
I'm a khv, never been intimate with a woman, never even seen a woman nude outside of the internet. I was tired of it and did some research, found an erotic masseuse near me. I called and scheduled an appointment and I didn't sleep at all for the 2 nights before the appointment due to anxiety.
I get to her place and her apartment is filled with Buddhist and Hindu shit. She's in a robe only. We talked some about my anxiety and we actually did some meditation and chanting. Then we both got naked and at this point I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack.
She empraced me and we just sat and talked about the ocean, and plants, and all sorts of things. It was the most real and intimate experience I've ever had with another person.
After that I laid down and she massaged me with her naked body. She even rubbed my balls with her feet. Then I turned over and shit got real. She sat right on my chest with her ass in my face and started giving me the craziest fucking Hindu meditative handjob. I was rubbing her ass and tits and finally came with the most intense orgasm ivr ever felt, it lasted like 2 minutes straight.
Then we got in her shower and she washed my body.
It was fucking amazing, not just the sexual part but just talking to a beautiful woman about life; I actually felt loved and appreciated. I feel like a new person, I have more motivation than I've ever had and definitely want to improve my body and lose weight and eventually go again.
>>27570224
holy fuck that does sound amazing. what country/region was this?
You paid for that lmao
>>27570224
Randy, if I may call you randy... Here's my two cents about erotic massage;
>she makes me orgasm
>I fart
That's my worst fear
what is this board for again, why did I come here. I thought I could just be friends with people who are losers like me, and have no chance at being social play vidya all night, talk about how life sucks for us right? . I was wrong I guess, all it did for me, was develop a new found hate for every person ever, build a extremely defensive and aggressive personality that drives people away further than before. Started to get hurt by simple things in friendships, started being extremely cautious at the most stupid things, and started deleting people, adding them back, deleting them... because i was insecure and wasn't sure if they were actual friends. Every month I would search for a new group of people who I could play with, possibly relate to, but all I could do was look at the negative side of everything. Soon this negativity started growing into my beliefs on relationships and now I really think love isn't real anymore, I read too many of this threads where women state all the reasons that they hate men, and starting believing them, read too many threads where men state why they hate women and believing that. I started having all these things ingrained and drilled into my head, to the point where I see a relationship and start judging the people in it harshly, "the woman is probably using the guy" "the guy is probably using the girl" if the man isn't using the woman, then the woman has to be using the man, there's no reason for her to be with him, there's no reason for him to be with her, etc.
>>27570182
I started judging my mother and father, wondering why they were together, they would fight a lot with each other and I think the only reason they wont leave each other is because they don't want to disappoint me or their religious beliefs. These thoughts later made relationships with women from hard to impossible for me, because I started worrying if i would give off the vibe that i'm using her, or if she would give off signals that she doesn't really care about me and just wants to use for for her attention, verification, money etc. I started to dislike who I was not only how I looked, or acted, but who I was as a person, what I think, my choices themselves. I started thinking to myself i'm just a terrible human being, i'm a man-child who will never grow up, i'm and idiot that wont learn to ignore things, once this place got a little more popular it got worse and started really hating myself because of the things that I would pay attention to. The new people who joined(not sure when this started, two years is when I noticed, but maybe its been longer) saw that many of us were weak minded targets who they could use, men and women alike. Guys say that the girls who were here were unstable and extremely easy to lure with false hope to a happy relationship taking every little bit of innocence and self-esteem they had left, while the girls who came saw that they could build entire harems of beta males who would pay for every expense ever and verify that they were amazing in every way and making each one believe they were theirs.
>>27570205
Once I saw this happen, I completely lost hope in relationships thinking this might happen to me, have to avoid them at all cost, I followed the 2d trend life, got a shit tier waifu and dint care what people thought. Lived that way till present(I went on r9k when i was very young) still young now, but not underage.) made weabo friends who I dint care about, who i tried to avoid getting attached to, people who would hide their despair behind memes and jokes like I do. Sometimes wondering I could ever make a friend who wouldn't be just all memes and jokes not just online, but in real life. Someone who I could connect on a deep personal Level and back to r9k I would go, but again be told how i'm just a loser, how there's literally nothing good about me, how i'm stuck in the past, and have shit taste in every spectrum ever, I agree with them, go back to believing never being able to find a good friend who wouldn't tell me to kms over liking something. Sometimes my loyalty to my waifu, my "Neverleavewaifu" never stuck and every now and then I would look for a relationship once again, thinking maybe I could find a girl who is also extremely lonely but seemingly normal in real life because they don't want anyone to notice how many problems they have, how much a failure they are, how much they don't believe in themselves someone who I could give hope and tell they are fine, they are the best because they already tried their hardest.
>>27570220
I then found a girl who was all of this, but more, almost like a mirror to myself, someone who I thought connected with me on a deep level, who understood my struggles. But later I realized it was all fake, how she left me and moved on to a better guy not even months later to give her greater validation than I could give. Everyone leaves everything for something better, people are not exceptions. My insecurities started to grow so much more, I pushed this girl away, slowly until she was no longer my friend, and I remained alone once again. Trying to push away all my feelings by creating this delusional world around me and my waifu... but it only last so long before i come back to this board... looking for people who may or may not understand me again.
sometimes people add me expecting this much level of though into everything i type... but im actually quite an stupid idiot LOL... these last sentences im typing without much thinking into them because I hate sounding like a fedora fag who trying to get compassion out of most of the normies who are here, FUCK OFF MAN... uhh yeah/ zzz holy fuck re-reading this, its actually pretty fucking cringe... but too lazy to go over it 9000 time and edit what my thoughts on this board and my life idk...
Why do Asian men get the best women?
>>27570178
Why do you want to comfort yourself with that lie just to make your miserable life a little bit less miserable even though you don't get any women at all ?
BIG
I
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A
A S I A N
A
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I
A
N
>38 years old
>never kissed a girl
Is that Mordecai and Rigby?
You should probably cut your dick off. It's wasting precious blood.
>>27570124
Why the Fuck not? Do you not have any money whatsoever?
>Thank you for bringing me today's homework, anon. I was too sick to go to school today. You're so nice.
>>27570035
that is one frumpy ass anime bitch
Galko a cute
n-no problem galko
hope y-you're feeling better tomorrow
who else /high as fuck/ here?
what do you like to do when you're blasted?
Honestly... lately I bust out the volcano and vape a huge bag and go hit the treadmil for like an hour and a half. I just stare off into space and think about life and shit while I sweat like crazy.
Then I vape again after before I jerk off and hit the shower.
Just finished the treadmill, time to vape a second bag after I send this, then you know what.
>>27569993
shitpost about americans on /int/ or watch KOTH
>>27570036
this is why I like edibles the most, you don't need to hit them a bunch of times a night
If you roll a girl's name in this thread you have to start taking titty skittles and become a qt girl.
This only works for Asians
>>27569890
If grills name I hire a tranny to fuck my ass instead.
Or just cd glory hole
I'll do it and follow my dreams
>exercise makes you feel good!
who made up this lie?
now, instead of just being depressed, I'm depressed and exhausted, and sore all over
>>27569882
You're probably low on protein and injured yourself exercising. I'd head over to /fit/, and check out the sticky if you're not new to exercise.
Something that helped me out a lot when I started exercising was bodyweight movements (pushups, crunches, squats, etc.), which are very well suited for poorfags or NEETs.
Pls talk if you want to know more.
>>27569882
once you're a few years in and you're starting to actually get big it's fun
sometimes even when im at home i like to do high rep pushups because i love how it makes my chest feel, all stiff and inflated, feels good man
It's not a meme you fucking faggot I lost 85lbs doing that shit
best names thread
>>27569792
Been looking for one of these threads, OP.
Someone got Christopher Poole, anyone have the screenshot?
>>27569810
got more if ya want
>>27569822
Post all of them, I'll post mine
/r9k/ Omegle Night 4-1-2016
Tags are: /r9k/ and robot9001
only a fucking normshit goes on cam or goes on omeagle.
Fuck off back to soc, faggot.
So anyways, this person I am not sure if a guy or a girl, they are a furry. They were speaking of fucking their dog. I believe it is a girl because I know ones like them in real life. Anyways, I was upset by skipping me and talking of fucking dogs.
>>27570217
>I believe it is a girl because I know ones like them in real life
LMAO
he is a guy you dumbass.
he has done trap porn but i cant remember the site, his name is emmanuel
>tfw you will never be born at a time when if you lived in a village/town and ran into the endless woods you would be lost forever
>you will never stroll around a medieval structure watching as the moonlight cascades it's architecture and create unique shades across the ground.
>you will never look into the night sky and softly hear church bells ringing in the distance
>you will never experience a world of fire lit torch brightness
>you will never experience a world without cars
>you will never stroll down to your local marketplace and meet exotic merchants you have never heard from and stories of fantastical far away places like The Middle Kingdom and the South Pacific.
>you will never know what it's like to be truly isolated.
you have to go a long way to get lost these days
this summer i'm going to go to the forest and eat a bunch of psilocybin mushrooms
>>27569807
haha are you being accompanied by anyone?
Oh, how I yearn to live in a time period in which everyone dies at the age of 28 due to cholera or tuberculosis.
How do you feel about those couples that get married and instead of having kids they just buy a dog instead?
why should i care about some normies? they need to die DIE DIE FUCKING DIE.
Smarter than the average couple
why would bring another life into this world
>tfw I've never done drugs
>>27569537
Drink coffee.
DONE
>tfw never had sex
>tfw im a virgin
>>27569537
Yeah you have
Caffeine, alcohol, tylenol, benadryl, the chemicals in fast food, all drugs
Don't get into hard drugs, it leads nowhere good. If you just have to because of curiosity then just be careful my friend :)
What are robots eating today? Pic related, ham vegemite and cheese sandwich (plus juice).
>>27569496
>begemite
are you aussy?
I usually eat peanut butter jelly sandwiches as my go to meal
>>27569496
what does that stuff even taste like?
>>27569551
Yea and nice, I normally have pbjam sandwiches for lunch
>>27569563
Salty tar
