Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8366. page
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Can we have a Haiku thread?
I wrote one about cannabis:
Brown and green I smoke
The embodiment of peace
Feeling the love, man
Deep, deep, deeper in
My life is constant sorrow
I miss you, mother
>>24409244
can we all agree that this is the worst haiku of all time
>>24409343
At first there is five
Then seven syllables be
Last line also five
If fat people can be loved why can't you robots?
>>24409194
Love for fat girls exist. Not so much for guys
>>24409194
>mfw male, fat and a robot
>>24409209
Fat gay guys are uber popular right now for some reason.
I know 2 gays alone that want chunky baes.
>tfw 30
31 here.
Welcome to the club.
>>24409218
Same here.
I don't think I'll ever outgrow imageboards, they're the last part of the internet where I still feel somewhat at home.
>>24409218
>autistic
>virgin
>bad back and wrist
>still dependent on my father
I really should just kill myself
He ranks up there with people I hate such as Mussolini, vlad the impaler, and Saddam Hussein
Anyone else hate he's evil little smirk and his potty sense of humor?
Sex and age please
I think he's pretty cute
f/19
>>24409092
>hating vlad the impaler
What are you, a fucking muslim?
>>24409092
Why do you hate Moussi, Vlad or Saddam? Are you a libtard, Transylvanian Saxon merchant or butthurt Iraqi Shiite?
How being racist got me a girl
>This girl that knows my group of friends
>Comes around when we drink on the weekends
>My buddy met her and a group of girls somewhere
>I stalk this girl on facebook and see her ex was a black guy
>Month after I first meet them she's obviously flirting with me and stuff like that
>At a party and it all comes to a head and she is obviously frustrated I haven't made a move
>tries to kiss me and I pull back
>This is how I'm pretty sure the conversation went down
>"Why don't you like me?"
>"You dated a black guy" ohshitwhathaveIdone.jpeg
>"Woah that's racist, my past has nothing to do with you. That's a major turn off"
>"Okay. I just don't think we're compatible"
>"You sound really insecure"
>"Well I don't think so, if you dated a guy with more money than me or a bigger dick I wouldn't care"
>"Then why"
>"You make bad life decisions, and it's obviously you're a lot less traditional than I am and liberal so I don't think we're compatible"
>"Holy shit that's racist, Fuck you"
>"If you dated an Asian or Hispanic I wouldn't care but I just have a ingrained feeling of disgust like if you fucked a horse"
>Can't believe I said that but I was half a 26 deep
>She walks away
>Her friend walks up to me and says "Wow. Well that was honest"
>We all get drunk and her friend wants the D
>She's even hotter and never dated a chimp
>Previous girl tries to pull her out of there but she's not listening
>Fuck her that night and get her number
>She wants to drink at my house this weekend
>The other girl won't come to my buddys place anymore apparently and he's kinda mad with me. I still deny I said that racist shit to everyone.
This actually happened. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm getting pussy again.
warms my heart 8^D
>>24409170
It's a good time
>expecting us to believe that story
You're life is just like one of my animes, sensei~
Ready for that date, anon?
a-am I expected to do all the wiping?
>>24409036
That's right Lennie, just keep talking about the rabbits.
>>24409036
>Human fleshlight
ITT post an image that you doubt anyone else on /r9k/ would understand
I bet you crabwalk faggot. Learn to actually march drumline.
>it will never be finished
;_;
>>24409189
I'm learning baritone senpai
>am unconditionally nice to everyone
>even the worst people that are always made fun of
>bend over backwards to help even the laziest people
>people still abuse and make fun of me
>life is a living hell
What did I do to deserve this?
i dunno, but unconditionally means no conditions.
>>24408867
born too sensitive
don't reproduce
>>24408867
Get rid of that attitude, seriously, it does you no good.
Being nice and a pushover was a big mistake in my life, please don't make mistakes, Anon.
She's not interested, is she?
not at all op...
not at all....
So let me get this straight, you asked her if she wanted to hang out with you, she said yes, and then you changed the topic?
Should've suggested the date way earlier you stupid mongrel.
>>24408890
What are you talking about? The first message is asking her if she wants to hang out, and where did and what did I "change" the subject to?
raperape
What the fuck! Where are your parents?
>>24408783
deformed looking cunts
>>24408783
The one on the right looks inbred. The middle one looks like an ugly boy.
Left is qt 3.14 loli would "fight" with desu
Should I get a medium-sized kebab, or a large-sized? Large-sized will be $16.50. Be aware that I haven't eaten, today, and this will probably be the only thing I'll eat.
What did you guys eat? What are you gonna eat?
What does kebab even taste like?
>>24408658
Remove kebab from the menu!
>>24408689
You never had a kebab? You may also know it as a souvlaki, despite them not being 100% the same thing. Tastes like salty meat.
So... what's your excuse?
>>24408655
i have limbs.
>>24408655
Have you ever heard that guy talk? He really makes up for the lack of limbs with his charisma.
>>24408655
I hate women and I hate children even more.
How can white people be robots unless they're super ugly? I literally don't understand.
I come from a muslim family (though I personally am enlightened) and I've gotta say that having strict (but caring desu) parents who would flip if they find out you talk to girls really fucks up your psyche and more importantly, opportunities.
Like, I've literally had girls come on to me before but I remain a KV because I'm a bitch nigga who's afraid of what his mother will think.
White people tend to have liberal parents who tell them shit like "oh sweetie when will you get a girlfriend", mother's who will encourage them to have sex and fathers who will joke with them about such matters. You guys literally have EVERY opportunity to engage in relations with women with no fear or repercussion.
Shit's even worse because I have a sister and my parents like to apply the 'no double standards' rule, if I go out and flirt with women and do that stuff then my sister 'should' be allowed to as well so I have to set the example to make sure she doesn't become a slut. If I was an only child things might have been easier but still difficult relative to how easy whitey has it.
I'm just bitter that white people seemingly have more opportunity yet the people here on r9k are such miserable failures that they can't capitalize on essentially when it handed to them on a silver platter.
>>24408467
Nice job in Paris.
>>24408493
I'm not an arab, pretty much every terrorist attack in the west is done by arabs or pakis. Also I don't look like a derka and have an italian sounding last name so even in europe I wouldn't be stereotyped as a muslim thankfully, but I live in canada where no one gives a shit.
I think a lot of this dropping out behaviour comes from the fact that we have a million opportunities but no passion to persue any. I think a lot of robots would have done well in a society where what you did in life depended on who gave birth to you.
So I bought jelly but I don't keep it in the fridge. Like a week now maybe 2. How long does it stay good?
should probably throw it out. you can catch botulism like that,
>>24408431
is it sealed? if so, it's fine. dunno if it's not.
What?
I know I'm british, but jelly (jam over here) stays good for well over 2 months once unsealed even outside of refrigeration.
am i wrong?
Hello.
I'm a scam. A scam who managed to make his way to a normal life : job, house, friends and girlfriend.
Basically, I'm what you people would call a normie. And yet, it is all fake and I live everyday knowing it will comes to an end eventually.
I have a skull malformation, pic related. I wasn't aware of it until I hit 7 years old.
A classmate came to me along with his friends and told me my head was shapped like a rugby ball. All his friends were laughing their ass off. However I thought it was bullshit.
Until someone else made fun of the shape of my head again, and again. Then I realized, it is true, my skull isnt normal. What the fuck am I suppose to do ? Tell my parents ?
I may have been young but I already knew I was helpless, why bother to tell my parents which must have known from start anyway.
So I've tried to manage, to not pay attention to the people who made fun of me. But shit man, it is hard to grow up knowing your a fucking borned failure.
And still, I reached 16 and found an haircut hidding perfectly the odd shape of my skull. Meanwhile my parents divorce made me move to another town, which was perfect, I started a new life.
Except the shape of my skull I'm not ugly, kind of handsome even, face regarding. So I lived among normies, made some friends, and all that stuff. After almost 10 years of struggles, it was a relieve.
I'm now 27 and I live with my girlfriend who isnt aware of shit. But guess what, my hair are beginning to leave my skull.
Life can be a bitch sometimes, really.
I'm now heading to a dark future, where if my GF doesnt dump me, I will have to because I wont be able to live with my skull exposed.
I will probably do an hero then, but before that I have to live like a normie with a sword of Damocles. Girlfriend doesnt understand why I dont want a child anymore, why I'm so lazy these days.
How the fuck am I supposed to make plan for future when I already know I will be socially doomed within the next decade ?
FML.
>>24408418
get a head transplant
>>24408418
K-keep me posted
hmm what if we crack off the chunks of the skull that isn't required in your cranium? We then seal it all up with a metalic frame shaping your skull into a semi average looking human being?
