Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 787. page
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Guys I had a dream I fucked my dog. I don't want to go to sleep anymore
I'm masturbating to this thread.
Godspeed anon, fuck your dog for real.
>>29677023
It's okay man...I've had much worse. Don't take dreams seriously.
>>29677023
I had a dream my dog turned white and grew in size while I was in a sort of dungeon.
Then I returned home and performed a ceremony and he turned back to his normal size and color.
My dog is dead.
>Ugh, get away from me you fat ugly creep!
>>29677014
>get out of airport
>just wanna go to audition or home or whatever
>wait around thosuands of people clammering you for an autograph, picture, etc
>get out of airport
>bunch of fucking assholes with camera to feed the cravings of normies to see their celebrities
>then some fat autist walks behinds you
>EMMA we you sign these for me give me a picture to sign them now (he's selling them on ebay)
>you've had it so you just ignore him
>stupid papo takes the picture
>sells it to some clickbait site
>autists like you make these shit threads with these pictures
and the fucking cycle continues
>>29677014
That is pure comedy
>>29677086
Oh how easy it would be though to break the cycle.
I mean just take a few seconds out of your life for once and actually make it not about you, to treat people who look up to you like human beings. but I guess that is to much to ask for if you're a big important movie person.
>>29677118
indeed he should have been Chad.
This is a totally weird question and i know its a longshot but im wondering if somone has a spare tumblr account that they want to let me borrow for a few minutes? I have a chance at nudes but need a profile and i dont wanna make one and then have it look like i started just to get their nudes. I know this is an unlikely place for this request but im betting one of you beta cucks has a tumblr account for similar or completely different reasons. Will sharr nudes with you if you help me out.
Plz help this honestly means alot to me
Nobody? I bet my thread is just broken... Right?
Why does this post stay on page four when i reply to it? The fuck...
Being ugly is so depressing. Why do you keep doing this?
>>29676850
im a 4-6/10 (it depends on my sleep)
and im pretty for myself. I love my looks.
But no girls has ever.
>>29676850
Eh it's not so bad. Imagine being attractive and being a robot. Must be hell
>>29677138
>being attractive and being a robot
impossible
This is a thread for truly life-improving advice, not variations on bee yourself and retarded reuses of plastic bottles or something.
My life advice consists as a list of products to buy.
1. a vacuum-insulated water bottle, like Hydroflask or similar. ice will stay in these even if you leave it in a hot car. plus, having ice-cold water on you at all times will ***significantly increase your hydration***
2. a fiber supplement, psyllium husk. if you get enough fiber, you shit nice solid logs and often don't even need to wipe. truly one of life's greatest pleasures.
3. a chastity cage. I'm not even talking about for fetish purposes, I'm just talking about controlling your urges. it is a known fact amongst men that an orgasm after 3 days is way better than one after a few hours. if you find a chastity cage that's comfortable, you won't even notice that it's there, and when you do notice it, you think, "oh yeah, I love this thing"... the feeling of comfort and progress.
4. testosterone replacement therapy. if you live in the states, there's a good chance that there is a clinic near you that will ***bring you back to a normal level if you're low***. this shit is a miracle for men who are low, cures depression.
5. adderall. this one is not for everybody, because it's prescription amphetamine pitched as "ADHD" medicine. basically, if you have a healthy heart and aren't susceptible to mental disorder, this is a miracle drug for getting shit done. warning: you might fixate on ridiculous outlandish ideas, but they might end up being good, who knows. double warning: the shit might just make you anxious, so it's not for everybody. it makes some people feel like fucking titans.
6. back to the sex toy thing: personal massagers are actually great in general just for using on your back neck etc. something like the hitachi magic wand works here.
7. if you have insomnia, do not get into the pattern of drinking yourself to sleep-- you will become an alcoholic. try Zzzquil.
#1 scared me because i literally just ordered a vacuum sealed water therm and yes it has changed my life already.
everything else looks like thinly veiled cuck trolling.
fiber should already be in your diet or you're doing it wrong.
i wouldn't mind getting my hands on some Adderall to see if it can help me with education.
>>29676830
>Adderall
Just do a bump of meth you fucking faggot
Based OP
Original badman
have you tried settling down with average homely 5/10s like pic related instead, r9k?
>>29676819
>homely 5/10 like pic related
here's your you, pic related, hidden and reported
>>29676819
More of a 5/7 m8.
>>29676837
are you by any chance the person in the pic? there's nothing wrong with being plain.
Why in the hell haven't you let go of your ridiculous standards yet and just settled for an average girl?
Pic related; my averagefu all dolled up
that's a man. probably tranny op sneaking itself for ego points.
and average girls don't go for robots
This. Ive settled with this averagd girl who is a little under my league but she is the absolute best. She is so kind, respectful, and most importantly loyal. She is pure waifu material and i cant wait till we get married.
All those 10/10 beauties are most often complete bitches that only want to mingle for a little just to have fun. However beauty is a fading flower and once they get around 30 they will still have their shitty personalities but be much less attractive.
>>29676856
Nope. It's a girl. Cope.
Tara the android is fucking sexy
I'd make her feel fantastic
I'm a fan.
I wonder how the creator feels about the whole serial killer fanfiction associated with her. Any news from him, guys?
>>29676739
Tara has really nice feet
>>29676909
>tfw you will never run your finger along Tara's smooth plastic android feet
Eww anon put a top on...you have bigger tits than me.
>>29676640
Tht bitch must have a concave chest den
Yeah but my nipples are smaller you gross bitch
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA CHESTLET BTFOO
>start rubbing my fat mannies on her fucking idiot face
>sit on her fucking ridicolous chestley body while drowning her with my male mammary tissue
>leave after 20 minutes, her shivering body still on the ground shaking, tears and makeup all over her fucking idiot face covered by her hands
i haven't left my house for 8 months
and you?
>>29676627
Left 20 minutes ago to smoke. haven't talked to anyone since Wednesday. Was smoking and 2 mexican womens asked where a street was
>>29676627
Oh...just came back home after shopping with family.
>>29676627
Got home 30 mins ago, been out milking cows.
Statistically it's incredibly rare for me to find a guy I genuinely care for but the problem is that they always happen to be straight. Why was I born male if I was just going to be attracted to men?
fuck off to tumblr degenerate
Because God hates you.
That's what mental illness is all about?
>>29676633
Dude, what if the reason that every girl wasn't interested in you was because they were gay?
>>29676659
God loves everyone, or at the very least is apathetic.
>July 2, 2016
>>29676576
>We're closer to 2030 than 2000
>Kids born in 2000 have drive licenses
>>29676576
The year was 2081...
>>29676648
>kids born after 9/11 have had sex before us
>be me
>be in theater class as the main sound tech
>find cutie actor girl
>she is bi(no surprise but still wierd)
>we start talking
>after 2 months i decide to confess my feelings for her
To make this clear, i do this with girls now since i dont want to waste another full year focused on one girl
>she gives me some tumblr bullshit about being aromantic
>fml.mkv
>decide i have nothing to lose so i ask if she is dtf
>she says yes
How do i keep this going guys? I have never even kissed a girl and im kinda jumping straight in with no expirience
Anyone have any suggestions to keep this ride going?
This is r9k, not soc
Maybe try there you fucking norman
do you like her? if you do then you'll cigure it out while you do it. it's all about passion
All the legwork is done, invite her over to "hang" and then fuck her.
If you offer her inebriates, she'd appreciate it probably.
At least her tumblr bullshit has tricked her into confessing she's a heartless slut though, try not to catch the feels.
>walk past some normies eating dinner outside tonight
>as I approach them they are completely silent
>right as I walk past Chad says loudly "I.. HAVE.. A GIRLFRIEND"
Oh yeah and they all burst out laughing btw.
>>29676538
What?
Oridijskzlxmezklznsk
>>29677048
I can't explain it either, why do people do things like that? Do these people steal homeless peoples blankets as well?
Anon you don't go to loser websites like 4chan right.
A hot girl actually said that to me once
>>29676484
>loser websites like 4chan
For you.
>>29676498
She was a Redditor btw
