Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5578. page
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Anyone seen this movie? All I could think about whilst watching it was Elliot. The guy even looks like him a bit
Haven't seen the film, but I'm assuming Kevin was a psychopath?
Elliot was a narcissist, so they were on the same spectrum.
Both extreme dudes.
cmon
. . ,
ahasfhf
>>26200142
He was a weird kid that ended up killing a bunch of people at his school
Hey /r9k/, I'm gonna eat at kfc for the first time in my life, what should I get?
6 chicken nuggets, medium fries, and a bottle of water.
something else
>>26199931
Nuggets at KFC. Don't listen to this retard.
Buy yourself chicken m8 real chicken drumsticks and breasts.
I'll start.
>be me
>15
>older chad brother in the military
>comes home in the holidays
>mostly watches me play vidya and calls me loser etc
>go to bathroom and see his electric shaver
>always curious about shaving my pubes
>shave the right half of my ballhair and surroundings to see growth and compare
>comes around to christmas
>brother throws christmas themed party for all his chad and stacey friends
>pressures me to drink
>4 beers
>very drunk
>18 y/old 7/10 starts hitting on me, probably for laughs
>my dick is diamonds
>she asks me to show her my room
>on my bed
>kisses me
>almost cum in my pants
>she pulls my pants off
>sees my Harvey Dent pubes
>laughs hysterically while wtfing at the same time
>calls all her friends in
>sitting there pantless trying to cover up while being laughed at and photographed by a group of socially normal people
>kill me pls
Still have nightmares over it, decided to never shave again
>>26199578
She laughed because you dont shave half of them you shave all of them retard.
should have owned up to it, it's for science bitch
>>26199578
I had sex once.
Original.
I thought you had to be way fatter than I am to get stretch marks
Do they ever go away? how the fuck do i get rid of them?
>>26199513
You don't
Btw this totally original
>>26199513
They don't go away, however they do fade from a purply-red colour to a sort of shiny white like most other types of scarring. So they'll become less noticable.
but yeah, stuck with those for life buddy.
I don't even know how I got mine since I've never had any super drastic weight loss/gain except for going through puberty, but I have fairly bad stretch marks on my tricep/underarm area and some less bad ones around my knees. I just sort of noticed them one day and they've faded over time.
>be at my friends house
>he has 2 daughters (6 and 11)
>I was shitting on the chair next to the 6 in front of the computer
>while I was searching for flash games for her her sister comes in
>she was wearing short shorts and a tight t-shirt
>he leaned over the computer and said"what are you doing?"
>as I explained her what we were doing I finally found some flash game for the little sister to play
>mfw as the 11 was excited watching the game she sat over my lap
>mfw she started arguing with her sister while she was rubbing on my crotch
>scud launcher ready to fire
>my dick was about to burst out like a torPEDo
>"tell 4 to let me play!!!" She said while totally ignoring the situation I'm in
>"l-let your sister play with you.....I-I gotta go"
>I lifted her out of my lap then proceeded to the toilet while walking like a duck because it is very hard to hide a boner in cotton pants
>I sat on the toilet and I was sweating like crazy to the thought of having a boner because of a 11y/o kid
>kept remembering Warhammer 40k quotes until the beast calms down
>"only in death does duty end" I murmured as I left the toilet
>I began avoiding any skin contact with the 11 because I can't control the beast between my legs that will take me to jail because of pedophilia
G-guys please tell me that's normal, tell me that it happened to you
I am not a pedo and I will never be, but my body has betrayed me
your friend has children and a house
...
and you are posting about pedo thoughts on 4chan
maybe it's time to reevaluate everything
>>26199174
I have my own house and a job.
But KV
And the friend is a 42 gum buddy who is my neighbours
>>26199222
>KV
Kevin Vacon?
>"So do you have a girlfriend anon?"
>"No, not interested"
>"A boyfriend?"
>"No"
>"Sooo, you like women then?"
>"No"
>"You're gay?"
>"No"
>"Have you had sex?"
>"Nope"
>"Do you want to?"
>"No"
>"Kelly from HR has a thing for you. What do you think?"
>"Nothing"
>" . . ."
Just leave me alone you fucking normalshits! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>not wanting to dedicate your life to a roastie makes you gay
Why are normies so stupid?
It's pretty pathetic how normies view of the world is so limited that anyone who doesn't want what they want is automatically gay.
>>26199088
God damn it, this.
>you will never have a friend that you can watch anime with
Just go to a convention.
>>26347336
But they're too autistic for me. I'm looking for someone that likes anime, not someone who LOVES anime.
>tfw don't fit in with normies
>tfw don't fit in with the weebs in the anime club or the videogame club
>>26347376
There are a lot of people like you at conventions. Just don't talk to the people in full cosplay.
Post your ID and make some friends, lovers, fuckbuddies or what have you.
Cebruz is doing illegal biznizz edition.
>>26199013
Im not nonon who sells faked passport though
>he has 1million thanks this
At least my mom isnt heroin addicted
Also my parents owed me money and i owed them money at the end i can pretend it never happen and be happy with my current saved up money
Remember when nonon was close to send people to beat me up for posting his passport pics :^(?
Good evening, ladies and supreme gentlemen! How you doing tonight, you good? I was talking to this wagecuck earlier and he asked me, "Do you have to be so damn smug all the time?" So I told him,"Make sure you buff my car after you've finished washing it, if it's not spotless I'm calling your manager."
>Why did the femanon set off tear gas in the elevator?She wanted to be choked while she was going down.
>There's been a massive rise in the construction of wagecuck recovery centres recently...They're calling them "retirement communities."
So I was babysitting my 8 year old nephew today and he asked me if I wanted to play cops and robbers with him; I was supposed to dress up as the policeman. I told him if I wanted to pretend to have authority and look like a dick at the same time, I'd apply to be a mod on 4chan.
>Have you heard the one about being a wagecuck?Never mind, it's too time consuming.
>What do you call a girl that posts on 4chan?A hideous, self-pitying, narcissistic slut with a suffocating need for attention that should get off my board immediately.
>Why did the janny have 4 large pizzas, 6 bags of Doritos and 2 liters of mountain dew for dinner?Because he wasn't particularly hungry.
>I recently bought some wagecuck picture frames out of Home Depot...They have this cool function where they hang themselves so you don't have to.
>What do you call a robot eating cake by himself in a poorly lit room?The birthday boy.
Order yourselves a drink, let's have a late one, it is Monday after all! Oh, sorry, wagecucks, how insensitive of me...
>>26347205
>you act like a schizophrenic unironically
kk kid fuck off it may have been cute when you were a kid but you're a grown adult now
>>26347205
I desperately wanna tell you to fuck off, but your shitposting is just too damn creative.
>>26347205
this guy's goin' places!
>freshman highschooler
>get on bus
>some whale sits next to me
>lean head against window and look out of the window
>"hi my name is (forgot name)"
>she sticks her hand out to shake
>im forced to shake her hand and i just say my name and look back out window
>so, what grade are you i-"
>mfw this bitch is still talking
>too beta to tell her to stop so i reluctanty answer her questions
>this fat bitch tries to get my number but i say i forgot it
>give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
>thought she would only sit there once
>bitch does it again the next day
>mfw she was too fat for the dose
>after that they i just zoom to the back of the bus to hide
>>26198822
>tfw no smug womanlet gf
>>26199830
You aren't even worth being kept as a laughing stock
Eighteen plus
18+
Who else is /peeonthesink/ here?
Fucking best sensation senpai, you dont have to aim, just put the dick in the sink and let it flow, gently clean the piss with less water than flusing the toilet (thus you become a pro-earth dude that saves water and shit)
Easier, faster, comfy as fuck.
Girls can go fuck themselves cuz they cant pee on the holy sink.
I do it when I'm feeling extra lazy. I also piss in the kitchen sink since I live alone and the toilet is upstairs. Sink pissing is great. Be aware tough that piss can cause accumulation of certain minerals.
>>26198465
I almost exclusively pee in the sink, but now I have an en suite so I use the toilet. At home I always, always, always use the sink. Saves time.
I usually let the water run along with my piss, so there's no mineral buildup.
But yeah, the life of a Waschbeckenpisserbernd is great. Bester Bernd.
What is that one song that gets you everytime?
Post songs that make you feel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxHy8WTgTs
>faggy negro rap music
underage or retarded faggot?
either way, fuck off.
Too many to list, but this one's been getting to me as of late https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIuW1khSS1s
>>26198437
Contribute something instead of just complainig you faggot
>>26198450
This is good but not sad enough for me
Do Chad's really just go out in public and start hitting on random chicks?
How the fuck does that even work? The reason people are OUT in the first place is to get shit done, not get hassled by fuccbois.
SO WHY DOES IT WORK FOR THEM?
stop posting the confused nigger, I really don't like having to see black people
>>26346464
They do. They also get shot down from time to time too. Chads just don't care.
>>26346501
Gladdly anon!
>two half brothers I've never met who don't know I exist
m8 do you live in Australia?
I have two half brothers, one who I've never met
I know that feel.
>mom ran away over 20 years ago
>hired someone to find out if she was even still alive
>she's living with the man she ran away with about 4 hours north of here with three kids
>closest I've had to contact with her since she left is a Christmas gift she sent the year she left
>want to go see her but I'm scared she won't want me or won't know who I am or I'll cry
>>26198724
>I'ts happening
No joke I live in Aus and have two half brothers who I have never met. One live in SA as far as I know.
(not OP)
Why not just hook up with a single mom?
No one really wants one, so you can lead them on and make it sound like you're going to stay.
But act like you have other women you're interested in, which will make her put out immediately. Dump her once things get serious.
I am currently in a 2 year relationship with a single mom I'm about to leave (after finding some new ass.) I told her we'll eventually marry and now she's getting impatient.
Come on guys, this is easy.
i'm not that type of person.
my conscience destroys me if i do fucked up shit, so i don't do it.
>>26197822
I learned this the hard way, a vast majority of guys who get laid consistently are the ones who do this kind of shit.
Most of you are jealous of guys who do "fucked up shit". That guy who helped her spawn this demon is worse than me.
>>26197822
This
The problem with being raised by good people is that it becomes impossible to look out for number one.
![eyebrow-012[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/1NEcKQS.jpg "eyebrow-012[1]")
