Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5873. page
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Most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me and ever will happen to me.
>Teen weeb years, also into furry porn
>Got my first laptop for my birthday
>Loaded it with tons of furry porn
>Didn't know how to properly computer back then
>Windows Vista made it harder too
>In math class one day, a class where I didn't even need my fucking laptop out
>Sit in front center of class of 30
>Sit right beside cute girl I'd been trying to win over all semester
>Was already picked on a lot in school for being a fucking loser and a weirdo
>Leave to go to the bathroom and leave my laptop on my desk with my notepad up, since I was taking notes on it
>Screensaver settings: 5 minutes, Picture Gallery slideshow
>All my furry porn is in my pictures folder along with random memes
>Was gone to bathroom for like 10 minutes
>My laptop started a screensaver slideshow of all my furry porn and memes
>Entire class is laughing as I can hear when I'm on my way back
>Stand in classroom door and they all look at me quietly giggling and staring at me intensely
>Notice what's on my screen
>Lose my spaghetti
>Shut my laptop and my instructor tries to continue teaching but no one is paying any attention
>20 minutes of awkwardness till class finished
>Teacher and everyone felt too awkward about what they saw to ever confront me about it
>That girl moved seats away from me
>So did everyone else
>News already spread fucking fast by lunch
>People seemed to forget about it by the time I was in grade 12
>This happened in grade 10
I'm honestly surprised I didn't kill myself.
I have had some real embaressing things happen to me, but I rather pretend they didnt happen.
>>25912180
>Sitting in modern history
>Use school laptop to take notes and such
>Notice chrome is open for some reason
>Go to close it
>Window expands and asks me whether or not im sure
>Loli hentai
>Girl behind me sees it and starts laughing, friend next to me starts laughing
>I should have accepted my death at this point
>"I clicked it because it thought it was funny and disgusting"
>"Yeah sure anon"
I'm surprised they treated me like a normal person for the rest of my high school years.
>>25912180
Noice. I think my middle school teacher caught a glimpse of my porn folder once, I ninja'd out of it but she was looking over my shoulder so I'm sure she saw it.
Now the real question is, how good was the furry? All I could find when I first got into furry was sexyfur siterips
How do you feel about cute couples?
>matching clothes
>they say rawr at each other in a baby voice
>they use a lot of emojis when texting ^~^
>they speak to each other in baby voices all the time
>tfw I'll never been in a cheesy relationship
i just think of how many people they have under their belt with which they have done those same things, which then reminds me of how relationships are programmed into our minds as a mere method of survival.
that helps a little, to know they fell for the meme and I didn't.
at least thats what i tell myself
Bebe, you're genuinely mentally ill and I'm worried about you
>>25912183
I want to to be in a cheesy relationship too...do u?
![9781f3b2657044a2e5ee2fa7d98e85a6[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ORqsGD3.jpg "9781f3b2657044a2e5ee2fa7d98e85a6[1]")
Are leg-beards the female equivalent of neckbeards?
>tfw I unironically like unshaved women
Any legbeard fembots want to be my gf
i have a friend who i would date in a heartbeat but she doesn't shave her legs.
we met on okcupid and talked about dating too
>>25912460
Set her up with me familam
Wagecucks are waking up at this very moment in order to go to mr. schlomo office and make money for him.
Is that pathetic?, because I find it even worst than pathetic, I almost feel pittt fo' them.
Isn't your mom telling you to go to bed yet?
Don't want to upset here and miss your tennies day.
>>25911848
What's your phone number anon, I need to talk to you.
Thanks
>you know who this is by the way. Lel
>>25911848
I'd love to watch a NEET faggot post a "smug pepe" at 4AM, boxers still around ankles, clutching their tiny dick. Toes resting in the cum they dribbled under their computer desk. They take a moment to caress their latest figurine. Crying softly while starting a fresh, new /r9k/ thread.
>all of your problems are unique and complicated
>nobody will ever relate to you
Just wanted to say that that's a cool picture. Never seen something like that before.
>>25911820
wrong. all of your problems are commonplace and people overcome them all the time. the only difference in your situation is you
You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.
Ok lets try this again /r9k
Prove you have emotional intelligence.
What emotion is this girl feeling in this picture?
none, because she is a woman.
And bonus points if you can figure out this one as well.
>>25911836
woman do nothing but be emotional, thats there whole life.
Hey guys
It's my birthday today. Please post your gondolas
sorry man don't own any gondolas
That is an excellent picture and I hope you have an excellent day.
Have a cool pic.
Happy birthday, man.
Mine is tomorrow.
Anyone else ever get the feeling that they're all one person and we're all connected irrevocably in some form of oneness? Right now we're all blind men touching an elephant etc? I'm not a robot please be groovy and love one another
>>25911741
>Right now we're all blind men touching an elephant
What do you mean by this?
read the copypasta called "the egg"
>>25911741
People who talk like this are generally the worst kind of burnout, the faux messiah. It's painful to listen to them vaguely babble about enlightenment and how we're all just one consciousness, knowing that they've completely fried their brains to this point. Psychedelics are a powerful tool, and gibbering retards like OP remind us what happens when you overuse then.
Help /r9k/
Im not crazy right?
Pic related
>these 2 individuals on my steam spontaneously came online today both at the same time
I have not seen them since the time they have been offline
I use to play games with them
They both don't know each other
Anyway, i have notice alot more of these kinds of coincidences in my life, but when ever they happen i think ( I MUST JUST BE GOING CRAZY )
Anyway i was really good friends with these steamers, i havnt yet talked to them but i will
They don't know each other i played dota with one and counter strike with the other
They both live in different countries too
Wtf are you asking? What's the point of the picture? Are you trolling me?
>>25911743
Those are their profiles, look at the (Last played date) i circled in red, 18 jan, last year, and 21 jan 2015, that was the last time they both played.
The came back jan 21 2016 both at the same time
They are currently online and its extremely bizarre to me im not trolling
like going to 4 different stores and the last stores costs = exactly what you had left over from the 3 previous and you weren't even paying attention.
Any bots down to go backpacking around USA?
Basically we'll be self-sufficient homeless people. sleeping bag, camp stove, water filter, technology w/ internet hotspot a must.
>>25911686
I'm downI will kill you all in your sleep
>>25911686
Nah that's stupid. A couple of trashy backpackers who looked and smelled like hobos stopped by my uni. One of them was this fat ugly chick who asked me where this bar was and I told her politely to fuck off. They also acted obnoxious
Not really, but I kind of dream about dropping out of society, living in a van, and moving to some off the grid community like Slab City or something.
Hey robots thanks for making me fall for the trap meme
>make fake badoo account
>send dick picks to 7/10 tranny
>tell me he's coming
>tell him I actually am a 5' 7 100 lbs skeleton
>still coming
>arrives on his dad bike, without her makeup he's actually a 5/10
>sneak to my room
>wasnt that nervous because im fucking sleep deprived
>make out, touch him here and there
>puts condom with bj, that actually felt good
>he's on top also pulls out his huge dick, it wasnt as long as mine but had more girth
>guides my dick in his asshole, fuck the boipussy thing its a fucking asshole
>also I was a kissless virgin till this moment btw
>moves his ass like crazy and I also try to hump, hes hard and I kiss his nipples and masturbate him
>last like 3 mins, he asks me to pull out when I want to cum,ten seconds later I cum
>get out lube and try to keep going but im flaccid as fuck
>lay in my bed while he's sitting asking if I can keep going
>small talk here amd there,rubs my asshole to get me hard, feels good but still flaccid
>offer him some xanax to take home as some sort of payment;he prolly thoguht i was trying to sedate him or something smhtbh,refuses
>tell him I cant get it up and gave 20 bucks for the whole thing,even tho it was free, could see him dissapointeds (implying i wasnt dissapointed with myself)
>also made some shit up about having a buff friend interested in trannies and to get his number for said friend, tells me he'll send it later (obviously it wasnt for me but to give him the hopes to get fucked by a imaginary chad)
>take him to the door, kiss goodbye and walk in a catatonic like state, pacing on my room like an autist
>send msg thanking for the sex but trannies werent my thing, calls me a freak and that he"s never coming again, i say bye
AND THATS FUCKING IT, been on the shower since he left like an hour ago trying to process what the actual fuck just happened. It feels good to fuck another male in the ass I guess and not be a kissless virgin anymore specially
Why is he calling you a freak senpai?
congratulations you are now gay
>>25911672
Cuz i offered him xanax as some sort of payment i guess lmao
what am I supposed to do at 3 in the morning
>>25911603
Night walk?
>>25911603
Sit in dark room with earbuds in while blasting music.
>>25911603
maybe you should sleep
Is Adele attractive? I can't tell.
Naw figurative family member, there's a reason most of her photos are headshots, and it's not because she's a struggling actress.
Nah she's kinda of a fat slag desu. Just has a great voice, which makes her cool. Based purely on her appearance, she's a four.
She might be if she lost weight.
Fucking women, all they need to do is not be fat and they still fucking fail at that
someone please talk to me
originaalal
>>25911537
ill talk to to you anon, how was your day?
>>25911537
I'm going to sleep but have this bump
>>25911537
How's it going anon? Do you have any cool interests you want to talk about?
A Jinn appears and says he'll make you look like a male model, but you will also get a micropenis. Do you accept?
>>25911496
I don't get it, I already have a micropenis.
My dick is like 6.5 so can I like lose an inch for maybe a smaller amount of improvement?
>>25911496
No, I'd still be a social retard and I would get a micropenis. Fuck that.
