Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1680. page
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Listen up! Your Mom and I are sick and tired of this shit, you get your ass off that damn computer and go find yourself a job, or you're OUT OF HERE! You hear me?
Go back to mowing your 10 foot by 10 foot lawn, fagblossom
Getting all uppity again?
Need me to show mom those pictures and phone calls so that she can divorce your pathetic ass and take half your worth noting away?
She'd surely take me in, with all the government benefit too...
>>29265758
but i just got home from work, pops. it's how i unwind.
Lmao I can't believe what just happened yesterday.
> Go to farmer's market yesterday to get some fruits
> I go to a woman selling strawberries and I write down my order
Important: I ordered 4 pounds of strawberries, and the way I wrote it was 4.0 pounds.
> I come in later once they have had time to fill the orders (weird system but whatever)
> I get there and she instantly recognizes me for a reason I dont know
> She says "lots of strawberries, but I was able to do it" with a big smile
> Think that she seems oddly happy but then I see her point to 3 big crates
> Says "There is your order, hope you didnt park to far"
> At this time I realize that she thought I wrote down 40 POUNDS of strawberry
> She seems so happy that I just pay her and begin the journey to my car with all three crates in my arms
> Get home and instantly realize that I really fucked up
> Today all I have eaten is strawberries, I have already taken up my ENTIRE freezer for these strawberries and still have a ton in the fridge
I am feeling so sick but I must continue through the strawpocolypse
>>29265669
Just donate them to a church or something.
>>29265669
>the way I wrote it was 4.0 pounds
why would you write it in such a retarded way?
>>29265669
options
1) give some away to friends/family/neighbours/cowokers
2)set up shop on a street corner and sell them like a mexican.
I started dating a really wonderful woman last year. Problem is, her daughter is 30 pounds overweight.
I don't want to raise a five-year-old senior citizen. How do I whip this kid into shape?
>>29265435
Stop feeding the little shit geeze and take it for walks like you are meant to with your pets.
>>29265435
>her daughter
anon-kun, l...
>>29265435
tell her mom to stop feeding her Twinkies all day every day
You are being invaded /r9k/
And they are trying to "normalize" you
Thoes fools you can't normalize rejects
>/robot/
ok kid
Let them come.
Our tendies are limitless, our time even more so.
Our reserves of shit reach deep into the designated shitposting threads, which we shall unleash on the invaders.
Let them come, and let us greet them with misogyny the likes which the internet has never seen.
Let us greet our unwelcome guests with triggers and shitposts.
They will regret the day they took this job, the day they accepted payment.
We are the robots of a new age, we are the countless legions of NEET, we are the beta uprising, we will conquer the world with waifupillow in arms. But first, we must repel this invasion.
Unto the breach once more, brothers
>>29265429
If they want to normalize robots they'd have to include robots into their social circles. They could never do that because they would have no one to ridicule. Also since robots have opposing views to them they'd never accept the robot into their social circle because they can't handle anyone disagreeing with them, if it weren't for them being such pieces of shit robots wouldn't even be a thing.
do you shake women's hands the same way you shake men's hands?
>>29265303
>touching women
what?
yea, they get a little creeped out if you do the m'lady hand shake
>>29265329
>women in my personal space
what?
I'm a cam model who hasn't left the house other than for my psychologist appointments. I am diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It's been a very long time since I've interacted with someone other than the psych and my mother. Ask me anything.
r u a gril
pls be in lancaster
>>29265505
grille
ausfag
Whats your opinion of you having sexual intercourse
>Come from a proud line of tough, charismatic and decorated military officers
>Great grandpa and grandpa spent their teen years and their 20s killing commies and plowing spanish qts
>Dad was also an officer
>All of my male cousins and uncles are ex-officers, officers or will become officers
>Be a bookish, introverted and socially awkward as a child
>grew up to be an IT drone
>tfw I'm the old child
Who else has disgraced their family lineage?
>>29265273
>come from a proud line of dock workers, soldiers, and slaves on my dad's side
>come from a line of scandinavian potato farmers on my mom's side
>dad broke the cycle by becoming a doctor
>i'm about to drop out and join the army or get a manual labor job
Gonna make you proud, ancestors :)
Cyber warfare/defense seems promising OP.
>>29265273
>Mom's side of the family started out as poor Northern Italian immigrants during the great depression.
>3 of them are now millionaires, everyone else is either middle or upper-middle class. Almost everyone is talented at either visual art or music. Mother is an extremely talented painter and musician.
>Mother decides to marry my father who comes from an Irish family.
>He is very smart but everyone else in his family is average intelligence, working or middle class people with few artistic or musical talents.
>Me and my sister are born with hosts of learning disabilities and only slightly above average IQs. Both of us are NEETS with no future what-so-ever and no talents for anything except failing at everything we do.
I hate my life, and I just want to die. Everyone on my mom's side of the family views us as problem children and my dad's side doesn't give a shit about us.
>be 5'9
>170 lbs of muscle
>very wide shoulders and narrow waist
>big dick
>attractive face
>never had any problems getting women
>a large portion of women i pass look at me as if i'm an aberration
>as if i'm not allowed to be like this
>as if its unnatural for a short guy to be masculine
want to beat and rape them every time to be honest
>>29265228
wew thought that was me in the pic
>>29265228
You're not short, faggot.
>>29265290
i'm actually 5'8, i just add an inch
basically nowhere close to 5'10
>2016
>still lifting
When are you going to legitimately leave humanity behind and become a hot tranny? Weightlifting is just a distraction to keep you from realizing the power of femininity. Girls are also way more attracted to cute trannies than they are to muscly /fit/ creeps, FACT.
I enjoy lifting
An interesting post you have there!
>guy looks like a 10/10 ripped chad
>Gives it up to look like a tranny abomination
The fuck
ITT: Things that instantly trigger your autism
>crunchy peanut butter
>>29265155
>implying thats not based
youre a faggot op
>creamy peanut butter
disgusting
i dab it on roach traps and you skitters take the bait everytime.
What, are you fucking gay son?
Red flags for boys:
> he's white
> owns a PC
> doesn't have a job
> under 6 foot tall
> right wing view points
> didn't go to prom in highschool
> into video games or anime
> doesn't enjoy challenges and prefers to be "comfy"
> has a foot fetish
> avoids social situations and parties
> goes out for walks at night
>>29265153
I fit all of them except for the last.
>>29265153
Litteraly /r9k/. Bait games weak brah
>>29265153
Red flags for women:
>not dead
My boyfriend keeps suggesting in jest (but also truth) that I start doing cam shows for money.
Do I take this and run?
Will this cause trouble in our relationship?
Should I be offended?
Have any of you bots been camwhores and if so, pros and cons?
>>29265144
you clearly need to post samples since you're considering it and no one can advise you otherwise
>Maybe.
>Probably.
>No.
>Nope.
>>29265144
Staunchly refuse to do it.
If you do and don't like it, it'll stick with you forever while he can just leave you and not worry about it.
He sounds like a very low value male, guys who watch lots of cam-shows tend to try to make girls they date do them to out of some kind of weird goddess complex.
He might be an okay guy but you need to put your foot down on this and NOT do it.
Unless you want money for free and don't care about your future prospects in non-porn careers.
WHY DO JEWS ALWAYS PROTECT MUSLIMS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29265132
>jews
>protecting muslims
Maybe shitty liberal jews in America do that. But nobody wrecks muslims more than Israeli jews.
tits or gtfo>>29265208
>(((You)))
>>29265230
>b-but I thought I was your greatest ally anon-kun *cries*
>tfw no pelikula watching, diyaryo reading, kawal honoring, tubig drinking, salamin shattering, eleksyon voting, kape brewing, mukha cleaning, daliri fracturing, kuko biting, tsinelas snapping, lamesa wiping, sapatos breaking, kotse fixing, itlog cracking, ilong blowing, ube chopping, puso racing, damit wearing, kumot weaving, puwit slapping, paa rubbing, buhok combing, ulo scratching, simbahan attending, parol hanging, kamay washing, tuko calling, jeepney driving, kanin picking, manok chasing, tinikling dancing, tiyanak finding, aswang hunting, kabayo riding, carabao herding, baboy wrestling, duwende stomping, lechon roasting, lumpia cooking, pancit making, sinigang eating, forest loving, /r9k/ posting, qtp2t filipina gf
you left out balut you pussyassed fag
>>29265100
Can someone explain to me why this gross looking flip keeps getting posted as if she's the epitome of qt filipina grills?
>>29265305
>memorizing the copypasta
>actually reading the copypasta
This is my online GF I met through roblox.
Rate?
No one wants to rate my online GF?
This is her ass if anyone was wondering
she isn't wearing pants she is a fucking slut bro
Dude she is cheating on you.
