Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6939. page
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>Be me
>Be Chad
>Go on reddit for the lulz, eventually get to /r/4chan
>"lol these dudes are ridiculous"
>Go on actually 4chan
>go to /r9k/
>Laugh at everybody's miserable lives
>Go on it so often that I become a shut in
>Lose all my friends
>Girlfriend leaves me because I keep sending her pepes
>Become the loser that I used to laugh at
>At least I have my fellow robots right?
>>25233018
half robot half normie. youre still not wanted though
>>25233272
Is it possible to be a functioning robot?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?
virginland
At your lowest
>>25232996
on 4chan, /r9k/ to be precise.
>tfw quarterback at uni
>tfw promoted at work with christmas bonua
>tfw no debt
>tfw gf keeps trying to have sed with me
>tfw masters in computer science from mit with co op at google
>tfw parents wont stop bothering me about how proud they are and that they are giving me the house in their will
UGH normies amirite?
tl barbobsaboa
who else /dumb/ here?
>24 yrs old
>can't tell time on clock that aren't digital
>don't know where to use commas in a sentence.
post about how dumb you are.
>19 years old
>still believe in true love
>still believe that people are inherently good
>still believe that I'll live to see retirement
haha i'm such a doofus
>25
>can't structure sentences at all
>write with the prose of a 2 year old
>get called out about it by autists on 4chan all the time
>>25232990
iktf famalam
I almost always just lurk because of it
>sick of being a NEET
>leave house once a week to stretch my legs
>usually spend most of the time by a lake
>NEETbux don't afford a comfortable living
>considering killing myself
>>25232836
>sick of being a NEET
Then don't be a neet, train a specific job you enjoy, perhaps something with IT will be easy for most neets, and then get a job in that field even if it doesn't pay well, you will have something fun to do and you will not be a neet any more.
>tfw can't possibly get a gf because NEET
>>25232880
If it were that simple I'd do it. I've already got an Associate's degree in Comp Sci as it is but mental health has deteriorated.
>Take piss
>Sit back down
>Get ready to fap
>Grab dick
>Piss squirts out all over hands, dick and ball sack
>starts burning after few minutes
>can't fap anymore
Nah familia this is worse
>fap like normal
>get a bad ejaculation where i pinch some tube or some shit or dont fully cum
>i guess some cum goes back down the wrong tube or piss goes up the wrong tube or some shit
>2 minutes later my dick burns like a mother fucker and it feels like i lose control of my bladder
>have to pace back a forth holding my dick closed for 45 minutes until its bearable to do anything
Happens like every 4 months now that I know what to look out for, always piss before i jack off, always.
Always make sure I force all cum out even "milk' my dick for the last bit of cum (btw does anyone else do that?)
NEVER jack off before bed, or else I will be at risk of spending HOURS up at night waiting for my dick to stop burning
pretty shit right?
Now imagine this shit in the mind of a person thats 11 years old, yea this shit happened the first time I fapped and the next few months were a living hell of self-doubt, I had no idea what was going on and I didnt want to telll anyone but i wanted to keep fapping.
A lot of my psyche and personality is shaped around this shit happening to me.
I have a phobia of losing bladder control since I thought I was starting to become incontinent.
I also have a diaper fetish, but only the girl wears it.
>>25233103
jesus i just wrote a fucking WALL, sorry for killing your thread
>>25233103
I've always milked my dick for the last bit of cum, every single time I've ever ejaculated. I'm paranoid that some could stay in my dick, dry out, and clog my urethra.
How do fellow robots feel about camwhores flooding the /soc/ board and degrading our beloved 4chan?
Personally I think it's cancerous and puts the integrity of every other board for nonfaggots at risk.
I feel very pleased, fuck /soc/ normies
Isnt soc made for that shit, so its actually a good thing for everyone
Also why are you posting this pic, this is the shit were trying to stop you fucking idiot
>>25232781
Look at omegle. It started out fucking amazing and was a great experience. It wasn't long before you had to click 'disconnect' 10 times in a row because they initiate conversation with "asl?" Where are we robots to go? We sure as hell can't go to the mall, or somewhere without tendies or wifi.
>>25232879
Any "robots" who go on omegle are not robots.
Omegle is for normalscum, and I report all omegle threads, and make sure dangies always ruins your threads
>get pulled over tonight
>give him license
>he balks a little
>asks how old i am
>21
>you look like youre 12
>yea haha
But i didnt get a ticket and he actually gave me 20 bucks as a secret santa gift I guess
>>25232768
>go to dentist
>assistant is treating me sort of like a kid but it's fine I guess
>almost done with the cleaning
>"Oh, I almost forgot the fluoride!"
>"I'm 20..."
>she stares at me for a second before saying "Oh."
>>25232837
another good one from today
>brother in law talking to his 2 year old son
>accidently calls his son my name
>oops
>mfw he sees me as a child
>>25232837
>go to dentist
>want this flouride tooth cleaner
>no im good senpai that stuff is poison
>want me to put abrasive on your teeth
>nah senpai that kills the enamel
never dentist ever again m8
All I want for Christmas is a mommy gf.
>>25232759
same beeeehe
post your christmas tree.
It's obvious I still live in mom's basement since I could never afford these ornaments
>talk with someone
>lose train of thought mid-sentence
FUCK. How do I stop this?
Practice talking in the mirror, same thing happens to me
>>25232728
meds
also
>(51).png
>>25232728
Stop toking pots you loser
>"Anon oil mummys rubber pussy up"
fuck off you kunt
>tfw no qt lesbean to dom you
>>25232653
female dom is the worst thing of all time. Even if your female.
ITT: songs you piss to
>Even Flow by Pearl Jam
>>25232628
>trying this hard to get on r/4chan
>>25233531
hue
>(fuck mods you shit piss)
>>25233531
Gg senpai
I'm trying to get on fucking Reddit
Setting my standards really fucking high here
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
WELL LOOK WHO CAME OUT OF HIS CAVE
piss and shit piss and shit
I'm still treated as a child at all family occasions even though I'm 22
>get childish gifts like candy and pj's
>all the other people my age get things like wine
>>25232740
>still treated as a child
I wonder why they would do that
