Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1696. page
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100% New at posting here, but:
Anyone want a feels thread?
>Be me
>Be regular angsty teen with minor mental problems living in a low-income family
>Dwell on suicide for several years of life because no matter how hard I try I can't be normal
>Too beta to pull through
>Cry alot because am fag
>My birthday swings around
>Mum ask why crying day before birthday
>Because am fag
>Tells me she might have something good for me tomorrow
>Doubt_it.gif
Next day
>Wake up
>Go downstairs
>Parents are there on a weekday
>Unusual for them, most birthdays generally wait
>They have a box for me
>A relatively large box
>Something is different however, there are holes in the sides of the box
>Suddenly a pupper
>A sweet little blue heeler girl named Biscuit because unoriginal teenager shit
>Not too sure what to think of dog
Pic related: Blue heeler puppy
>>29255473
So? What happened? Did this just happen?
Second half of story:
14 years later
>Inbetween the 14 years the dog was my only friend who I had slowly come to love
(Inb4 average dog story hurr durr)
>Go everywhere with dog because dog is cool
>Get girl friend with dog who is also beta
>Date her for like a year
>She had to move because divorce and shit
>She was my first and only real friend, someone out of the seven billion who actually enjoyed me
>Cry alot more
>Dog tries to comfort me but I lash out on her
>Dog bites me on arm because I tried to beat the shit out of her
>She looked so scared
>My parents wen't to put her down because bite was bad, but I convinced them it was my fault
Live up until about six months ago
>Doge is pretty old now
>Pretty rickety, old thing that just drains my cash
>But I love her
>I had gotten a head-ache that grew into a migraine that just kept getting worse for days on end
>Go to doctor
>This was one of the solemn times I had gone to the doctor, the first by myself
>Family was not too rich so we tried not to go
>Suddenly my nose bleeds in doctors room
>Doctors wants a cat-scan
Ok?
>Come back
>See mass in face
wtf.jpg
>Apparently I had some cyst in my head that had been there since birth
>They want to get it out but the operation would be very costly
>Put it off for about a month because I need to think
>Go home after hard day at work
>Dog had gotten sick and was rly old
>Figure it's about her time, though if I had just got her her medication she would be fine
>I can't spend that money because I need it
>Decide to put dog down
>Grab small glock-18 handed down from my dad
>Decide if anyone would do it I would
>Go into woods with dog after nice ice-cream treat, was her favorite
>Look in her sad, lonely, dark eyes for the last time and shoot her
>I give her a shallow grave, no ones around in these rural areas so who cares
Last part:
Here's a bombshell;
>Been really sad over dog
>Go back to doctor for final examination
>Different doctor regrets to inform me that the old one was laid off for several cases of switching up peoples (diagnoseses?)
>"Then what's wrong with ME?"
>Doctor ct scans me
>I have an extreme build up in my nose because as a kid I couldn't pick it
>Also the flu, thats why head-ache
>Go home
>Remember my dog
>The dog that I killed
>My only friend, that I murdered in cold blood
>So that I could afford
>A medical treatment
>I didn't need
Who is your ideal gf, /r9k/?
Pic related for me. Not even a yellow fever faggot, but there's something special about her...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7cOKjfSs5oI
>>29255441
>Those soulless eyes
>Those lanky limbs
Boy...
>>29255441
I try to avoid fantasising about women I only know from appearence. During high school I had this girl that showed interest in me, and I felt in obsessive love. It fucked me up, never again.
Not implying it is the same, but I need to fall in love when I get to know someone, not because of someones looks or perceived personality mang.
A feminine version of myself would be my ideal gf
How does he have 3 million subscribers?
he just bees himself bro :^)
victimcard.png
>>29255415
as a fellow whale his size, returning to the water feels so fucking good
what is /r9k/s thoughts on this woman?
>>29255317
Ugly cunt who drove an overrated musician go suicide. Even her daughter hates her
>>29255317
Isn't this the women that killed the dude that singed songs that he didn't want to get popular?
>>29255317
Original fembot
what truly pisses you off ?
>>29255316
normies talking about drinking all the time
my shitty mental and physical health
>>29255316
there's a porn star literally called chad white who fucks stacyes on regular basis. he's everything i would like to be but don't have the time to work on.
Hi it's me from yesterday's thread, my story was well received so I wrote a new chapter.
For those who haven't read part one, see the picture.
>it's a rather humid night
>sitting by the marina at starbucks-beach in neo-new-orleans under a streetlight, having smoke and contemplating my privilege
>this is, of course, illegal because of the phallic nature of cigarettes and generally being out after 8pm as genderless person assigned male at birth (we're all the same afterall)
>croaker patrols roam the streets, further ensuring gender equality
>Watching the neon lights of what looks like Tokyo's skyline flicker in the reflection of the water fills my mind with memories from the old world
>My daydreams end with some latina females calling me a gringo and spitting in my face
>I laugh it off as to not offend them
>Risking another look in their direction I see one of them squatting down and pissing in the streets
>They are free, independent women and should be proud of themselves
>An enforcer of Hillary's thought-police comes up to me and lectures me on how I deserved it for thought-raping them and goes on scanning my neck implant
>Xe says my Hillarine levels are too low and asks me if I had not taken my supplements recently
>I get visibly drenched in sweat
>Xe asks if I am ok or if xe should call a croaker patrol to take me to the hospital
>I tell xir I have been feeling a little under the weather lately and I'm generally sweaty
>Xe offers to give me a Hillarine injection right there and then to make up for my lacking
>I tell xir not to waste it on me, I will take one at home, it's right around the corner
>Making sure I go there right now xe takes me to my cardboard home, which has apparently been stomped and pissed on (again)
>Xe gives me a ticket written on a period pad for lingering after dark and smoking and wishes me a good night
>I rest in comfort, knowing that I deserved all of this and I am just making up for decades of oppression
Part 1/?
>Yet I am uneasy. Something feels off...
>Next morning
>I wake up around noon
>Might as well be six in the morning, I can't tell, it has always been dark since "the incident"
>The sky is black and I really need to shit and have a drink
>I walk down the alley I live in this week
>A neon sign above my head flashes and says:
>OTHER><EDIS
>SIDE><REHTO
>As I grab the doorknob I see a sign:
>"Only genderfluid twospirit otherkin who are at least 27% pansexual queer"
>I am not even sure if I fit this pattern or not
>I enter anyway
>Everyone is talking and laughing up until the point I enter
>Genderfluid people everywhere staring me down
>Dead silence
>Some obese he/she/xe with pink/blue dyed hair looks at me with an evil gaze
>It's giving me the heebie jeebies
>I keep my head down and make my way to the toilets
>There are 12 doors with different signs on them and again, I am not sure whether I fit any of those profiles
>Afraid to open any of those I proceed to shit myself and waddle out as fast as possible
>I make my way down the street past a culturally appropriated cinema
>They do not show any traditional movies anymore, someone could be offended
>All they have is mute french character dancing, open to interpretation for everyone
>Shaky ground again
>Everyone downs their food supplements
>I am still too much in awe at what this world has become and forget to pretend taking my Hillarine pill
>Promptly I feel something hard hit my neck
>I am taken away by the croakers for failing to take my Hillarine
>As I am dragged away through puddles in the pouring rain I decide to make a change to this world before I loose consciousness
End of chapter 2
Has anyone been in the thread yesterday?
I'm thinking about a choose-your-own-adventure set in this universe. Would anyone be interested in that?
>>29255467
Amazing and dark, but I'm not too sure about the choose-your-own-adventure though dystopianon
Can you satisfy a guy without a thight innie?
If you have a pretty face and a mouth you can.
I wanna fuck that slit of a butthole
>>29255248
Easily.
Did I take the bait?
There lived a young muslim man called Omar
He picked up his rifle and he went to gaybar
He went to gay bar
Allahu Akbar
50 cold dead faggots so far
I have no reaction image folder so just imagine a picture of somebody laughing really hard.
>>29255401
okay m8orijinal kaumente
>>29255232
rofl he went to a gay bar
haha what a faggot
ITT: Write a letter to someone, whether they may read it or not.
>>29255193
Kill yourself OP
oregano
I wish I was a good enough father
>>29255222
right in the feels and checcd
if you(all of you) are reading this, i'm not coming back
What are your thoughts on this picture?
>>29255172
Paurbrvhsjnsbvscw
>>29255181
Qubevehajbsvvahjs
>>29255172
>>29255181
girls look just like guys they just wear make up to be attractive
>western women will be forced to wear burqas and not be allowed to walk in public without a male guardian in your lifetime
>western homosexuals will be mass executed in your lifetime
allah is truly great
>>29255138
I hope so abdull
>>29255138
Don't worry, we'll defeat those violent, murderous barbarians by welcoming them into our country by the millions! Once they see how accepting we are, they'll spontaneously lose their tribal lust for violence spanning back millenia and turn a complete 180 from being traditional religionists to loving cocksuckers and harlots! That's how it always works! When you make yourself vulnerable to someone, they always appreciate it and change for you.
>>29255155
i can't wait to see the look on all those feminists faces after the muslim majority votes sharia law into power
i think they will be living in denial until the day sharia police whips them for leaving the house without male supervision
Find one flaw in this girl.
>Protip: You can't :)
>>29255129
she poop
>>29255129
It's probably a guy.
This board and it's he-she's, jesus, man.
he/she is white
Post hot jewish/jewish looking girls i want to fap
IWANTJEWISHFUCKDOLL
Wild attempt
>>29255073
Fuck off Jew loving faggot
>>29255101
Is that you?
If so I will slice my dick open to convert.
Who's a failed normie here ? Actually i don't know if i can even say that i'm a failed normie at this point.
>be me
>say hi to like 100 people at school
>100 males
>i never do anything with them outside school, i just say hi, but they never talk to me outside school, they never invite me to anything
>im from belgium and today its belgium - italy
>"ok this time I AM gonna ask them"
>sends like 10 messages
>people dont even reply or they tell me they cant because they are busy
>tfw
pic related: my "best friend"
even on this fucking board nobody replies to me. i swear to god if these MOTHERFUCKERS in europe didnt ban guns i would have killed myself long time ago
>>29255053
>Who's a failed normie here
I'm kind of. I'm also living in a euro country and I can socialize pretty good with other guys. Still never had a gf or much friends due to my apathy and lack of interest in social interaction. I'm a cyborg.
I've been contemplating getting a fleshlight for the last month or so.
It's incredibly tempting, but I'm afraid that if I get one, I'll completely give up on finding a girl.
What do?
>>29255050
Do it, forget girls, you don't need em.
I heard that people here like onaholes better than Fleshlights though, they are cheaper and come in more models. Ask /jp/ for more info, they usually have generals on the stuff. Never underestimate the Japanese libido op, they even have peripherals like siliva lube and warming pads. If you have the money, invest in a doll, the Japs make really cool ones
Forget the fleshlight, that's for stupid people.
Use mice.
>>29255104
Honestly op, in these days, you're better off without a woman unless you can play the carousel game better than her. Here's a link to a cool doll: http://mrracy.com/lifelike-sex-dolls-japan/
>Fillable breasts
Can a 3DPD have that?
