Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 42. page
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>tfw no shipman bf to give you a lethal dose of morphine
>>30007254
>tfw no rodger bf to splash starbucks latte into your face
>>30007254
I wouldnt even want morphine if I could get my hands on some seconals or similar (ie barbiturates/old-timey sleeping pills)
but regardless Im gonna sudoku by hanging tonight, its just shitty to have to go through such a shitty unpleasant method just to achieve what little self determination I can
>gave her a lethal dose of benis :DDDD
>Coworker talking about Dota 2
>Talking about how invis heroes are overpowered
>Can't contain my autism, start telling him he should buy detection
>"Oh you play games too Anon? What's your steam ID?"
>panic.exe
>Blurt it out and tell him
>Profile is full of weeaboo sim games and anime quotes. Absurd number of hours played despite having a full time job and pretending I have an active social life
>Race home to set profile to private before he adds me
>Get home, boot up PC
>Friend request is already waiting for me
It's over. I managed to pass for a normie for 15 months this time, but it's over now. Not as bad as the futa hentai incident at my last workplace though.
Do you mix real life and videogames /r9k/?
>>30007216
Pls tell us bout last incident anon, and no but most of the people I work with are old.
>>30007216
Maybe you can pass it off as "ironic" if he brings it up. If he doesn't, gradually change your profile to look more normie over time. In all likelihood he won't care that much.
>>30007308
There's a lot less to it.
I used to do bookkeeping for a small law firm full of dude bros. I would pretend to text people on my phone all day so I looked normal.
One day I went to the bathroom and came back to them gathered around my phone, all laughing. When I looked at it they were going through my photos, which was full of dickgirl pics I had saved.
I picked it up, walked out and never looked back again. Didn't even get my next paycheque despite working 3 of my 5 day work week.
To clarify, I think they were trying to find out if I actually had a girlfriend (I didn't but I told them I did).
Why do you like this faggot again?
He doesn't care about you except when he needs your donations and attention.
No one cares about me. I don't expect him to, I just like the company on his streams. I despise feeling alone, but I hate being physically near people.
>>30007203
I don't. I have very low respect for any of the "robots" who like to follow one of the personalities here
he's a complete normie. His mannerisms, the way he speaks etc. He's just ugly. He's a complete neurotypical faglord
Would You Rather
>Receive a billion dollars tax free tomorrow
or
> Travel back to any point in your life and start over, retaining all the knowledge you have now
>>30007193
A billion dollars, of course, provided that reality was altered so that nobody found it suspicious
You could make MUCH more than a billion dollars knowing the stock market, sporting outcomes, and basically any event in which money was made or lost because of the outcome.
Billion dollars. I know there's the meme about remembering lottery numbers and investing but a billion is more than enough and I don't wanna redo my life. Too much work.
Please post your rare roaches/master of strings wojaks - I lost my folder
Waited till this thread was almost dead. All according to my plan.
>>30008272
Damn, that's some next level thinking
>>30008272
Pretty rare, btw
who's ready to die with me tonight my bots
1800 kind of nice ending alone
>>30007088
pinoy? orgenaleoe
>>30007088
Are you a woman? The picture kinda looks like one.
>his fetishes have become so messed up and unreasonable that he wouldn't be able to have a healthy sex life even if he got a gf
>>30007084
Spoken like someone who has never had his dick in the mouth of a 3/10 girl.
Still feels good.
>>30007084
Pow right in the kisser
>>30007108
No he's right I lose my boner every time I have sex now
>>30007084
its okay that's what my imagination is for
the thought police can't get that
no one can get that
>Think I'm too autistic to flirt
>Look at tutorials
>They're all garbage
>Started not giving a damn and bee myself
>Met this girl through my best friend
>According to him, she's been flirting with me hardcore and I was too
>I'm completely oblivious to it
It feels like the muh dick part of my brain is on autopilot
>>30007031
I feel you OP. I'm completely oblivious to this kind of stuff too.
>>30007031
Get out, pleaseksjs
>tutorials for flirting
what was the 30000000 get?
A mod GET that was quickly deleted anyway because no fun allowed.
>>30007002
/s4s/ shitposting
>>30007002
i was just looking this up online a minute ago and couldn't find it.
Why isn't prostitution legal in the US?
With legal prostitution, there would be regulations and less risk of crime and STDs.
Lonely socially retarded/ugly men who have the money and just want sex could fulfill the desire.
Its apparently illegal because of stupid reasons like it's "immoral". Well porn is immoral and degrading to women apparently too and that's legal so why would prostitution be any different?
Lots of money would be generated just like in the porn industry. Look it how successful the Netherlands are.
>>30006997
Every time someone asks this someone else replies "Women will never allow it" but I don't think it's women, it's law enforcement and the judicial system. These motherfuckers get paid whenever some shit is illegal; they set up stings, crack down, prosecute and so on.
They will always lobby hard to keep as much shit illegal as possible and keep lining their pockets.
>>30007171
Australia has legalized prostitution. Its great.
Too bad it failed in New Hampshire this year. Just listen to the fucker who wanted to kill the bill. http://www.nh1.com/news/manchester-rep-explains-nh-bill-to-legalize-prostitution-other-lawmakers-vow-to-kill-it/
>Hear mom crying about me in the other room.
Is there a worse feel than this.
>>30006970
No there isn't actually...just take a walk or something, (unless you are full hiki) and try to forget it....try not to listen to what people say about you much, it doesn't help really.
My mom is having heart surgery on tuesday apparently one of the doctors asked her if she had an up to date will when they were talking today and now she's been like teetering on the verge of tears all day and talking in a low shaky voice about how fucking terrified she is.
>>30006970
use it as motivation to improve your life, you must have sunk pretty low to make the person who made you ashamed of you but you can always make something of your life
Is it wrong to have have sex with your childhood friend out of pity? He's a 23 year old virgin and I kinda feel bad for him. Broke up with bf recently and was thinking about it. I could never date him but maybe this could help him? or will it just hurt him more?
>>30006942
Is having a shower with someone a kind of paraphilia or something?
>>30006942
let him use you for a week or so
OMG
OMG
YES
YES
YES
DO THIS
YOU'RE AN ANGEL
>>30006942
>or will it just hurt him more?
Oh. Maybe. I don't know.
>you will never be half the man your father was
>>30006916
if being a man means fucking up your marriage and having a shit relationship with your two sons then you're right. i won't be anything near the man my father was.
OP go fuck yourself.
>>30006916
or even a quarter.
>>30006916
Just keep in mind that you are living proof that your dad got to have an orgasm inside of a woman's warm vagina as it wrapped around his penis and he made her pregnant with you while they lay together in bed.
Can anyone point me towards the >>30000000 thread? I'm curious as to what it is.
>>30006848
Some angry underage janitor deleted it
It didn't even have time to be archived, only hope is if someone saved a part of it before deletion, but nobody will have the complete pre deletion copy of it, nobody could have saved it in time
Was just looking for it. Bump
>>30006872
Fuck, man. That was the only thing I had to look forward to today.
>take computer into shop to get it fixed
>remember that they are going to call me later for the log-in password
>remember that my password is super embarrassing
>>30006747
>letting normies have access to your computer
>not fixing it yourself
>consciously knowing your password
>not only being able to type it due to conditioning and muscle memory
>risking saying it out loud while you sleep
whats ur passwordd
