Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3010. page
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For those of you who aren't virgins lets have a losing virginity story thread.
>be me
>am horny and drunk
>aunt gave me 50 bucks
>go to an escort website
>find cheapest one in close proximity
>50 bucks
>get there
>it's a very passable tranny
>only pay forty as I spent 10 on beer
>we fug
>couldn't cum
>she eventually takes off the condom
>still take ages to come
>eventually do
>get home at 5 in the morning
>fap
>be at a birthday party
>everyone is drunk
>drunk buddy comes over asking me "hey dude, how's it going with the girls?"
>answer "absolute nothing"
>"no problem dude, I'll get you someone to fuck"
>fast forward a month
>bro calls
>"hey dude, I showed a study colleague a pic of you, she wants to fuck, text her immediately"
>text her
>she wants to meet up
>fast forward 2 weeks
>we meet up
>she is fucking hot, short girl, big tits, red hair, blue eyes
>talk a bit and she eventually asks if I want to fuck her
>fuck yes
>we undress, I am nervous as fuck
>she starts licking my body, undressed her tits and started blowing me and licking my nuts
>fuck yeah it feels good
>tells me to look her in her eyes while she has my cock in her mouth
>I took off her hotpants
>start licking her body and her tits
>eat her out for good 20 mins
>she grabbed my hair and moans, please fuck me
>she started riding me
>after that I took her from behind
>she screams "come inside me"
>came
>took condom off
>smoked a cigarette with her
We never fucked again unfortunately. What a waste, she was an amazing little slut
>>28512243
Mmmm, sounds good. The first nonescort I fucked was a horny little slut too. She had a boyfriend and texted me out of the blue one day to meet her on the docks of a river in my city. We went to a park and we fucked. It was my first time going raw in a girl so I can straight away but I was able to fuck again and did so for half an hour. I orgasmed again but held the jizz in.
>>28512318
Yeah she was great.
Unfortunately she was mentally fucked up.
I haven't had sex since then, sucks man.
>feeling her fall out of love with you
>she is only with you because she doesn't have the patience to take care of the baby
>just waiting now for her to find the guy she wants to be my son's new daddy
>only the dead have respite against this pain
>captcha asks me if I'm not a robot
>in my heart I am.
fuck off normie, stop being so boring and maybe she'll stop hating you
>>28512010
>falling out of love
What is love?
>Sexless marriage after our daughter is born.
>Go into relationship therapy.
>Wife is "working" on it. Still no sex, not even a handjob after year of therapy.
>Girls flirting with me.
>Too Beta/scared to cheat on wife, but really want to.
>Too Beta/scared/poor to leave her.
No one told me it was gonna be this way senpai.
>tfw you'll never be american living in a rural area
>no bbq with your friendly neighbors
>not buying as many guns as you want
>not going out with your friend hunting deers in the woods
>not driving a pickup everywhere blasting country music
>no big house smoking cigars every night in the garden
>no nonwhites as far as the eye can see
feels bad to be an europoor living in a multicultural city waking up by the sounds of white women getting raped outside and imams calling to prayer
>no nonwhites
Not true desu there's quite a few mexicans out here. No cholos just native immigrants, but we get along pretty well and have the same interests generally speaking.
>>28511995
living out of this "pepe" zone
>not even russian
cant buy a gun
>gtg back to the multicultural city
Why not just move to rural European town
Literally have a 3000 word research paper due in 17 hours what in the fuck do i do?
On a side note, i saw a Stacy on the train literally have someone beg to buy her food, all the memes are real
>>28511956
What's the topic? Maybe someone can help. I once helped a dude on here with his essay on romanticism.
>>28511956
Sit down and finish that shit nigga
Also, memes are based on reality and are always true. Stacys are whores. This a given. Nothing you can do about it except kill them all
>>28511956
better keep shitposting
surely you will find your solution soon
>in driving school today (I'm late with getting my drivers license)
>incredibly bimbo looking slut on he opposite site of the room
>huge tits
>very much makeup
>these high heels where the whole heel is one part
>seems shy
>looks over to me like 5 times
>every time I look at her she looks away again
what is that? Felt like she was checking me out.
Wanted to walk up to her and ask her number, but autismo prevented me to. Might see her again in an hour. What do?
Try making small talk, if you converse for a while and she's giving you visual signals and maintaining eye contact, then start flirting gently and ask her if she has a bf etc. But test the water first, don't just jump in head first.
Good luck
>>28511978
>Try making small talk
but how to start? I can do shit when I know like 2-3 things about that person but what do I say to get to know enough about her. I surely can't just ask "so you trying to get a drivers license?"
>>28511897
take her for a test drive ;;;;;;;;;;;-)
Anon, why are you wearing a hoody in this nice weather?
>>28511890
cause i have skinny arms
>>28511930
>tfw skinny girly arms
Cuz it's only a quarter till 7:00 and still a little chilly out
what are you waiting for, right now?
personally i have about 24 hours until my dealer gets back in town and i can get a half ounce of weed. feelsinpatientman
>>28511887
im always waiting until i feel like vidya or watching tv again, inbetween that i come on 4chan
The big meme known as death, I gotta find out what makes it so popular.
waiting for my holster to be made for one of my guns
Anyone /DXM/ here?
I find that when I'm on it, I am able to see the reasons I habitually come to /r9k/. I come here to desperately cling to my worldview rather than face reality head on. Of course, once I'm sober again it's back to shitposting.
>>28511825
DXM made me psychotic while I was on it.
I really hate that stuff and weed. Acid is a blast however.
>>28512072
Yeah, it's pretty rough. You go through a bunch of nausea and disorientation, but I have always found the trips worthwhile and very enlightening.
Used to do it fairly regularly (once a week or so at some periods). I stopped because of tolerance buildup and I just didn't feel like dealing with the shitty nausea anymore.
Help, /r9k/
>be me, gay male
>sister's high school friend has always had a crush on me
>she's pretty, above average looking but kinda slutty
>she asks me to help her with homework, I agree reluctantly
>she keeps rubbing her legs on me while I help her even after telling her to stop
>I ignore her advances, finish quickly and lock myself in my room
She's expressed interest before in me but now it's getting out of hand.
How do I reject her nicely without telling her I'm gay? I'm still closeted to my family.
Just use her butthole to practice for boys on. Duh
>>28511799
Tell her you watch anime. Instant turn-off.
>>28511799
Just give it a try. Maybe you'll realize that you like girls after all. In any case, you'll find out what normal sex feels like.
Was Kirk a robot?
No. He had an autistic son and wife.
Hes not a virgin so no senpai
>job
>family
>house
nope.
Anyone else doing /NoFap/ here? How long have you been winning?
How do you guys stay clean? I feel like a helpless slave to the urges. It's taken over my life and I want out.
>>28511690
Fuck it. I'm doing it. 7 days.
4 days in so far.
I personally am socially isolated and combined with being a 22 y/o virgin and this weather, its truly agony.
Im mostly doing it in the hopes that my combined amount of stress from work, the hot weather and craving for a fap will kill me
Who /why don't you just become a girl?/ here?
>>28511682
I don't look good as a guy, and I wouldn't look good as a gal either.
>>28511682
i want to but I fell for the lift meme. Never made any real gains but too bulky to be a qt now
i want to fuck her boipucci
Is it possible to please a woman with a 8x6 dick?
No, the minimum is 12x8 inches, homie
>>28511679
it would be literally impossible.
if you aren't AT LEAST 9x5 you're going to be cucked
The real question is why do you care what women think? They'll automatically walk over you like the doormat cuck you are if they find out you give a shit about how good they feel.
Who here doesn't act, just observe?
>tfw I'm the embodiment of Gondola
Lurking is good. No reason to shoot your mouth off when there's nothing helpful to add.
that plus shy
>>28511593
100% introverted INTJ
Could actually hold a conversation for a while
talking about hobbies current events.
No desire to talk to people as I can weight the odds about how relationships will go before they start.
Talking to people would also keep me from my interests.
Is there any worse height to be than 5'9"?
>Chads/normies and women hate you because they think you're short
>People 5'8" and lower hate you because they think you're not short enough
JUST.
fucking white people is not an original comment apparently
>>28511626
What has this got to do with white people?
>>28511659
are you white is not an original comment
