Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3014. page
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Why won't my dog stop sucking my dick?
Pleas guise I need help.
it is the way it expresses love
you wouldn't want it to stop loving you, right?
let it love you.
>>28510304
I know but it's weird especially when it starts blowing me in front of my friends. Then they think it's funny and whip out their dicks and start saying "come get the wormy" they all start shaking their dicks. They are all flaccid when it happens too so their dicks are more worm like. My dog will stop paying attention to my penis and walk over to my friends chanting "anon's dog has got worms" and petting my dog with their penises. I can't stop them because they'll not hang out with me anymore. So I just let them rub their penises on my dog and cum on it. My dog gives me a look like it is ashamed I didn't help it. Then my friends will leave. They've been doing this for about a week now. My dog is starting to sneak out of the house and when I wake up I have to head over to my friend's house to pick him up.
>h-hiya, anon! I-It's great to f-finally meet, you wanna grab something to eat or s-should we see Captain America: Civil War f-first?
Does she actually stutter? Because a shy girl wouldn't make such bold and attention-grabbing outfit and cosmetic choices.
a literal 10
Whatever, just change that dress. You look like a fucking picnic blanket.
Does anybody feel like they're right on the verge of being "normal?" I feel like I'm so close.
>lose weight after hs
>women smile and flirt with me now
>don't know how to talk to them
I'm not even interested in just losing my virginity. I'm not mad that I lost out on hs love. Lately I've been going to church with my parents because they said a girl went there who seemed good. She and I are both awkward as hell. We've barely spoken three sentences to each other even though I want to talk to her. My mother (doing what mothers do) started talking to her mother. Turns out the girl has never even had a bf, is incredibly shy, is a senior in a good college, is getting a useful degree, and she's involved with helping the children in the church.
She seems to me that she would be a great partner. How do I talk to her? Do I need to social media her to break the ice since we're both awkward? Please give me some advice guys.
I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding how to be a normalfag, I just can't for the life of me understand fashion. Plus being a normalfag is very tiring with the constant shaving and haircuts, so I think I might just go back to being NEET.
>>28509825
If you do go normalfag let us know if it's worth it.
>>28509825
> mum is arranging your social life
> normal
Not really tbqh
Why does my asshole look so dirty? I wash it everyday.
>>28509805
I shit on it when you sleep.
>>28509833
Seriously though, no guys want to fuck a dirty BP.
What do I do?
>>28509805
I wash my anus twice with soap and my hand still comes back smelling like shit.
Bad diet = stinky ugly anus.
Why are the (You)s coming so slowly?
>>28509788
QT WAN WAN PICTURE!
>>28509788
Who gives a fuck?
Just go to Reddit if you want upboats you fucking homo.
>>28509788
here is your (you) anon, i hope you enjoy it
whats the most based thing youve done lately???
got some great creep pics of this milf at the beach last weekend, had to be so fucking careful, but worth it.
dude nice
I killed a cat
do u have more pics tho? :o
>>28509748
couple more, was hard to get clear ones of her tits.
Kek not do bad bit of a normie
linky or you stinky
What is that? Some kind of survey?
URL?
>>28509728
>>28509732
Not that hard to find, you lazy niggers.
What the title says.
really good movie tbqhwy senpaitachi
>>28509670
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm4kTx5Pa-Q
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RpuEl9n9d6E
who /smallpenis/ here?
5inch fully erect, thinking about an hero
Fuck off dude
Try having a literal no jokes or memes child dick at 23 years old, nobody will take you seriously
when I measure my penis am I supposed to do it from the start of the shaft? do I measure it while im soft or am I supposed to get a boner and then do it.
Please help guys
A woman's vagina on average is no deeper than 4 inches. You'll be fine.
just jacked off to a bbc video, it's taking more and more to get off these days.
>>28509529
if that is you, you shouldnt have the need to
>>28509529
>bbc
>big deal
get the fuck over yourself
Just stop jacking off for a few days then force yourself to get off to porn you consider normal for a week straight after that.
That's what I do when my fetishes start getting too dark
What do you ask for when you go get a haircut?
Do autistic trenchcoaters have long hair because they don't know what to ask for?
i ask for a number two / three undercut, and to take x amount from the top.
then i just hope they dont talk to me
>just take a couple inches off
>yes, the bangs, too
or
>take several inches off, please
>yes, the bangs, too
If needed, I'll point at the length I want.
>getting a haircut when you're balding
I just shave it
and then gladly breastfeed me like a mother
>>28509488
>wanting a subhuman mongoloid gf
>>28509624
hitler pls go
>>28509624
How low test can one poster be? Dont continue with your day, just go under your sink, take the bleach and end your own life.
>Talking to qt girl at my uni
>Going to ask her out to a movie
>right before I'm about to ask her she starts talking about her ex boyfriend and how bad he was in bed
>dropped
Why are there no decent girls? This girl is 18 years old and has already been creampied and ruined. Fuck. Is it so strange to want a girl that is pure?
>>28509387
>talking about sex, one of the most fundamental human experiences
>trash
>mfw robots are so far removed from reality that they think people live like in their chinese cartoons and harbor "muh true love" delusions of perfection like it's the fucking Princess Bride.
>>28509387
Hahaha this fucking loser is upset because he doesn't want to be the next guy she talks shit about in bed.
>>28510558
I agree. You're basically dropping 95% of the girls you're interested in that you interact. Do they really think half of the girls you've been into have not been facefucked or plowed?
Post the most depraved (real) thing you have ever done in your life. I'll start with a few shortened versions
>Snuck and stole sisters thongs in same room she was sleeping in, could easily been caught but was too horny, fapping to sissyhypno
>Took sisters thongs, smoked marijuana, went to highway at 2 pm, 200 yards from my house, begun fapping in grass-spot where everyone piss, fapped in panties, doggystyle while chanting "Rape my soul satan, destroy my soul satan, own my body satan, i'm a third world miserable tranny prostitute"
>I came super hard, my whole body went limp and I faceplanted in the grass-spot filled with piss
Another time
>I'm home alone completly, doing nothing
>Suddenly dawns on me I can root around sisters clothes as much as I want
>Fap and cum multiple times high on weed, even shove a cucomber up my ass
>Okey now I'm done, im finished.
>Shower to feel refreashed
>It completly dawns on me there is a toilet near the highwaystop
>Pack a bag with sisters clothes
>Smoke more marijuana, look and only see one car pass the entire time
>Almost shaking to death from hornyness, changing clothes, locking door
>Start to lick urinals and toilet seats while fapping
>Cum the hardest I ever have cummed ever
Your turn guys
I jerked off to your post
>>28509344
thats pretty disgusting desu
>>28509344
I told a friend it was ok to be a furry
better luck next time oP
>walk past a group of girls
>hear one say i look like an alien as im walking away
Why are girls so mean? Every time shit like this happens to me its always a girl that says something. Does it make them feel better about themselves?
Girls are wose than chad ever was
>>28509320
because they are spoiled from having tits
they dont know the dick having struggle
ill give them adick
bitches love dick
but they are so scared of it
scared of dick love dick lovin balls
>>28509320
This girl who I was nothing but nice to (didn't give a fuck about her, gay/closeted af) also used to call me alien all of the time, and laugh at me. It was kind of damaging to my self-esteem.
Oh well, we used her for her house and her weed. Had a douchebag of a boyfriend and was pretty much psychotic by the end of it.
Guys can be dicks too though.
