Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3021. page
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>Grandpa was a hitman
>made his money through clients in Germany
>after coming out alive after a close call with a rigged car bomb he moved to the US
>called it quits, retired by 35, made babies
>still lives a very comfy life to this day
>Be OP
>Lie on the Internet to a bunch of virgins on a Mongolian Textile Depiction board
>>28505910
You must give him up. Your grandpa was a scared normie, go to germany and contact tough guys, bring photo of grandpa.
He think he can relax? Think again
>>28505910
>Grandpa was a soldier
>fought in WWII
>returned to US in 1949
>Gets married in a protestant wedding
>later find out he fought in Israel's war of independence
>Oy Vey! Happy_Merchant.jpg. He wasn't protestant.
>parents asleep
>hearing movement and noises coming from the living room
I hope you sleep soldier style with a gun and a knife laying on the floor next to the bed like i do.
good luck.
how cool would it be if ghosts were real.
am i right?
guys?
>>28505931
But he's not even sleeping...he's shitppsting
Personality test thread cont.
>>28492534
http://www.celebritytypes.com/global-style/test.php
There are 105 questions
Everyone is out to get me and I must avoid them at all costs. This is pretty much what I got from this and I think it reflects me
I disagree that I am narcissistic, but everything else seems fair.
I took it and scored 70% with basically every category and it essentially said, 'we dont know what the fuck you are you either answered wrong or idk.'
R-robots. Am I going to make it? =/
>its another Chad vs Robot movie
>andchad wins
Every time.
>>28505842
Tony Stark is way more chad than Captain America.
He's a billionaire who fucks bitches nightly and parties all the time. Captain America looks like chad but spends all day sobbing over his oneitis from the 40s
>>28505842
Batman won.
That was a Chad v. Robot and the "robot" won.
DC is better anyways.
>>28505880
>>28505896
whats up with all the trips nowadays
A frog girl has streamed her suicide before anyone of you fucking have. Aren't you surprised to be the depressing types who would do this sort of stuff? Why aren't making a name for 4chan and putting your pathetic life to use by streaming it? Literally fuck off with wagecuck memes, you're the most pathetic board
>being this triggered by basement-dwelling NEETs
man at least post the video if you're gonna start this thread cmon
>>28505875
https://youtu.be/4Gc0j59s3Fw
>fembot contacts you
>she's a fucking fat
>>28505825
>he contacts fembots
>you stay with her anyway because you are that desperate
>>28505825
shes fat, youre probably ugly
match made in Heaven
What does it take to be called a robot /r9k/?
Take one for the team
Poor social life
Poor career prospects
Being uggo
>virgin
>basically no friends
>overall dont fit into society
Pretty much that
>be me
>38 years old, still unemployed
>4am
>horny after watching 10 episodes of Pokemon: Johto Journey
>clomp my way across the landing to mummy's room
>clamber onto her bed
>MUMMY WUMMY ITS TIME FOR MY TUMMY TO GIVE YOU THE TENDIES THAT COME FROM MY ENDIES
>she wakes groggy and confused
>"Oh no, no Anon, please. We said-"
>she bursts into tears
>"We said I would only do it once. You got your 50,000 GBP to promise to never do it again."
>stupid bitch is crying hysterically now
>"I need to get up for work in an hour. Burger King told me if I'm late again I'll be f-f-fired."
>grab her hair and yank her head up
>NO MUMMY ITS TIME FOR YOU TO RECYCLE THE CHICKEN TENDIES BECAUSE TENDIES FROM MY ENDIES ARE YUMMY FOR MUMMYS TUMMY
>tries to wriggle away, gasping hysterically, but I grab her slender wrists with my Charizard strength
>MUMMY YOU ARE SO PRETTY I tell her as the tears stream down her red, puffy face
>MUMMYEEEEEEEERRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO EAT THE SECOND HAND TENDIES
>she nods slowly, lower lip quivering
>squat myself over mummy's accepting face and pull down my black shorts with the flames up the sides
>mummy opens her mouth, trembling with horror and racked with sobs as she tries to keep still, I can feel her hot breath on my hairy, shit-encrusted anus
>(tendies tendies from my endies, from my tummy into mummy) I whisper into the night air
>within seconds I feel something
>a gushing of release and relief from my guts expels explosive and gaseous from my itchy bumhole, spraying and splopping chunks and jets and gooey ropes of every colour all over mummy's face and into her pink, waiting mouth
>hear her gagging and crying even harder underneath me
>relief is so intense I fall face-first onto her bed, booty naked in the air
>EAT MY TENDIES MUMMY, THEYRE SO GOOD AND YUMMY I say into the bedding, muffled
>hear her trying to swallow
>just keeps gagging and crying
>I fall asleep there and when I wake up at 3pm she's gone
fucking normie bitch
UM
(bllooox)
Did you get fired from your job?
>>28505812
so was it cum or shit?
>gooey ropes and chunks
or was it both
What happened to /b/?
>>28505782
Same thing that happened to /r9k/
Always shit. There's more dicks now because of liberal media pushing the homosexual agenda.
I haven't been to /b/ in almost a decade.
You remind me of a horse I bred once, It ran a man to death
If love is a battlefield, you're heavy cavalry.
If love is a battlefield, I'm tactical nuclear artillery baby.
>>28506211
desu baka, thanks senpai
So why did you fail robot?
>>28505691
escapism, escapism is the origin of all my problems
>>28505691
no failure
never failure
only challenge
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a confused boner. Nothing feels right for cumming. It's like the only proper place to let out the sperms is inside a vagina, and there is simply not one available for me to just simply cum in. And I think about it for a while and I think what if sperm is PRESCIOUS like that one song and we have to cum all the time in women all over the place or god will be mad. I have to father a child for every load I blow. I have to.
Then I lie back down and drift off to await another day.
>tfw no infinite concubines
I noticed elementary school seems to be overlooked a bit on this board even though there are multiple high school threads every day.
What was your experience at elementary school like? Do you wish you could go back?
Pic somewhat related
>>28505682
I was a chad in elementary school.
It was the severe weight gain in jr high that damaged my social ability.
Even if I did lose the weight and play some sports in high school
I don't remember much from those days, but I do remember normies finding certain things important that I couldn't figure out. Destiny's Child and sports and shit.
>tfw 9/11 happens
>tfw I find it funny like every other time adults make a big deal out of some stupid bullshit
>tfw it's still funny
>>28505682
It was awful. I would not go back.
I told the girl that liked me that our relationship could never work as i want to be alone by the end of things.
I didnt want to hurt her, but now i feel like shit. This is a curse.
That's called being regarded.
I hope you don't regret it every night for the rest of your life. There's no curse harder to bear than the one one puts on himself.
You were not supposed to say to her those words you said. You were supposed to cum your semen in her.
>>28505623
Why the FUCK did you say that? Mr. Anon, take down those walls. I cant believe you threw that chance away. but why, WHY? Seriously, what the fuck.
Eggman appreciation thread
Get in here eggheads
OG
>>28505495
explain to me WHY /r9k/ gives a shit about this guy
This guy really isn't even that ugly
>>28505556
LMAO
holy fuk
lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ro_GfQLp20
I can't understand what he is saying.
>>28505458
u strong independent woman
u have car we pay
go out
I like her dad to be honest. He just wants her to be happy. How many robots would have had a dad like that?
