Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1363. page
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My girlfriend's son is a total Chad. He never listens to me and always makes his mom come sleep with him, while I sleep alone on nights she has him. I'm getting pretty frustrated and don't know what to do. I can't exactly physically impose my will on a 4 year old, but my girlfriend always sides with him.
you've gotta impose a little fear into that then.
He has no respect for you. If you can't do it logically, just make him scared of you so he'll do what you want
You're jealous of a fucking 4-year-old child sleeping in the same bed as his mother. You're calling a 4-year-old a Chad. Please seek help before you do some retarded passive aggressive bullshit and fuck the kid up
>>29435324
You heard this guy, fuck the kid up.
How do I stop going to sleep at 4 AM and become healthy, proper human being?
Well anon
It really is a piece of cake...
TO BAKE A PRETTY CAKE, IF THE WAY IS HAZY
GOTTA DO THE COOKING BY THE BOOK, YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T BE LAZY
Michael Jackson died 7 years ago!
Origamo
I remember when he died I made a Youtube video with a clip of him followed by the clip from Death Note when Light killed the fake L on tv followed by a news clip reporting his death.
>I was 13 7 years ago
I remember that day because my cousin got the new nazi zombie map packs. Damn
That was the day I first rode on a train, I was 14.
Have you guys ever got fucked in the ass in your life? Was it a good and pleasant experience?
>>29435218
I've done it two times and it was awful there was shit all over my peepee and i've felt the urge to wash myself for all the time, just overrated kind of sex anon
>>29436282
That's your fault
>>29435218
When i put a finger up my ass while I jerk off it always makes my orgasms stronger. Getting a prostate orgasm is too much time and effort for me, but I'm told it's mind blowing
>>29435218
I've had anal sex with a bunch of grills (inb4 normie ree) and they always seemed to like it, so I bought a prostate stimulator, it's pretty great. I've never had an actual prostate orgasm, but it feels pretty nice to masturbate with it.
Whenever I'm in the protest of diddling my own ass I always get the urge to get a cute twink to fuck me in the ass off of grinder but never actually go through with it.
idk
/r9k/, I'm in a bit of a pickle. Long story short, I finally know tfw gf, but she's into some weird shit and I'm not sure how to feel.
A few months ago I met a cute primary school teacher who's a friend of the family at a family event I was dragged to. We got along well and surprisingly I was able to contain my spaghetti enough for us to start dating.
Fast forward a few months, and we're pretty comfortable with each other, to the point where we told each other the weirdest thing we're into, sexually.
That's when she told me that she wanted to shit up my ass. At first, I couldn't believe my ears. This cute primary school teacher just told me she wanted to "shit up my ass"? I stuttered and asked her to elaborate. She blushed and awkwardly explained that she wanted us to put our butts together, so that she could then poop into my sphincter, so that we could essentially play hot potato with a steamy turd, swapping it back and forth.
I'm really confused now and don't know what to think anymore. On the one hand, it's intriguing, on the other, what the fuck
>>29435168
I smell pasta...
>shit up my ass
might've been funny if i was 12
>>29435227
We've got a mature one here, who browses mature boards such as /r9k/.
Dog genocide when?
Shitty ass man-made sub-species.
the only dogs that deserved to be killed are pitbulls
>>29435152
No. My doggers a cute
>>29435152
Now, anon. It's never a bad time to go to your local park and spread a bunch of poisoned sausages to the filthy beasts. Just fucking do it.
What is the best ass you have ever seen /r9k/?
>be me
>be in high school few years back
>be bi
>hang out with hot guys pretending to be strait
>hang out with hot girls pretending to be gay
>one rich french girl who's dad married an Italian supermodel
>she's got her booty, and its phat
>watched her ass so much I could tell you stories for days
pic related, its her. I got more pics and stories if you wantMade this thread a few days ago but I had to leave early so I wanna do it again
>>29435114
>tfw you'll never get to sniff and lick a pretty girl's perfect ass
WHY IS LIFE SO FUCKING UNFAIR?
>>29435114
thanks for posting pics m9, i fapped heartily
>>29435161
That ass is disproportional and fucking disgusting, looks like an implant or something out of a cartoon, just sticking out like that.
What do you do when you're dating a girl who is really into you, but she's just "too nice"?
She could be a perfect 10/10, but she's just so nice that it can't help make you feel like a piece of shit.
To clarify - there's nothing wrong with this girl, far from it. It's just everything about her makes me hate myself and the things that I do/think about people.
Fuck her 'till it's garbage, then dump. Like any other girl tbqh.
I fucking hate this place so much right now
Your walking down the street and this guy slaps your ass.
What do?
Ask him for a job
Goddamn i hate being unemployed i want a job
>>29435262
he does not hand out jobs.
try again robot
Slap those douchey glasses off and steal his sweet ass ride.
If you could develop a program to train the perfect gf what kind of training would you have in it? (Eg required reading, classes on being good at conversation, etc)
Have you been playing Dream Girlfriend too
>>29434995
You could have shortened the thread to: "list your perfect gfs traits"
No need to try to sugar coat it
>>29434995
I'd tell her to take her hands off her nipples, first of all.
Why do you dislike normies? Only 'cause they are better than us at everything that matters?
Because 4chan is now tumblr.
People who disagree with you are normies.
People don't understand how deep and intellectual you are.
They should die, because of the suffering the inflict upon you, all those chads and stacies. You are an abused minority, and you should not have to be treated like this.
>>29434997
/r9k/ is literally tumblr for males.
Because I can't and don't want to be apart of their culture.
ITT We act like slaves sneaking a break until someone hits trips, then we act like their plantation owner/taskmaster
I'm not gonna start, last time I started a thread like this it devolved into a gay milf roleplay fetish. If you want to start, go ahead.
Messa gunna come back soon we gunna get whipped mayn
we wuz kings and shit you know nigga the white man be oppress and shieeet pham hit that got damn like button if u sore from pickin cotton rn
>>29434900
De white man's not so bad, nigguh. My massa evun lets me eat all de waddy melon I want. My back dun be sore from all the whuppin, but my massa says slavery is good for us negroes.
The alpha males in the red pill were talking about you today.
>>29434879
what were you doing there?
are you one of the normies trying to laugh at us?
hope your family dies.
Thank God for 4chan or I would never know what was on Reddit.
Kys
>"even knowing about /r9k/ is bad for your soul"
>not relinquishing your soul to the dark god kek
>get a new car
>fun for a week then it's just a car
>get a new gf
>fun for a week then it's just a cumrag
>get a new house
>fun for a week then it become your prison
This is why the NEET wins every time, the modern man's monk, the ascetic of our time, the NEET has nothing, strives for nothing and is content in the world of nothing.
While the passage of time brings turmoil to others, it brings peace and comfort to the NEET because he is time himself, as time itself is nothing.
>>29434801
Thisis true. What else needs to be said? That is a rhetorical question, by the way.
Does it seem possible that those things could be fun for somebody for more than a week
Putting in work for something usually makes you appreciate it more, for longer. You may just be unappreciative
>>29434824
>Putting in work for something usually makes you appreciate it more, for longer. You may just be unappreciative
>"Wage your life away for a vehicle",
the television says,
>"You'll appreciate the 100k tincan with wheels when you get it in your 50s"
it screams in your ear .
>"You need a girlfriend, buy her dinners, earrings, flowers and gifts"
the radio shouts while the girlfriend sleeps with real men.
The wagey does not see the word "buy" in everything he wants, it becomes his need.
>"This is what I've always wanted"
You'll hear the wage-ones say when they've given their hard earned money to others to justify their dumb ideas.
you guys may mock "wagies", but that's just to conceal the fact that you're ashamed of your non-productive lifestyles
"wagies" aren't downtrodden, they are PROUD to work, PROUD to contribute and are GRATEFUL for the opportunity to do so
if you got a job, maybe you'd realize how satisfying a good day's work can be, especially when your boss thanks you for a job well done
>GRATEFUL
Oh lawd
>>29434772
You're not helping your case, wagie
>>29434772
Whatever you need to tell yourself to feel better about wasting the majority of your life op. Enjoy that denial while I'm over here living the good life doing what I want when I want
