Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4851. page
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>be me
>wake up 7am somehow
>get ready, no time for breakfast so just have a single slice of leftover pizza my normalshit brother left out
>catch train to town for college
>nearly fucking vomit on the train
>get some shitty energy drinks and head to classes
>day consists of not doing work, listening to music, ignoring my class mates and vice versa, and having a few awkward encounters with peers and teachers
>go home to find my brother being questioned by the police
>I'msofuckingsuprised.jpg
>go upstairs and masturbate furiously to gym pictures of a random mutual friend grill on normiebook (only use cuckbook for this purpose)
>go to my grandmas for din dins
>go home with leftovers
>brother is about to take a romantic bath with his gf (the cop left, he was just asking about an incident where he works)
>figure out what they're planning to do, take a massive fucking shit and stuff unnecessary amounts of TP down the toilet so it's blocked
>picrelated.jpg
>now I'm chilling comfy in my room with my doggo waiting for my equally autistic friend to arrive so we can get shitfaced and taunt my brother and shit
>got class tomorrow but fuck it
>only made this thread because I love making lists at the end of the day because it relaxes me
I like you, friendo.
>wake up
>feel foggy from yesterday's benzo binge
>go to classes
>come home
>snort more benzos
I'm going to strangle reality with my bare hands.
>wake up 11am
>eat bowl of cereals while watching TV
>mom's back from her school
>she makes me cheese sandwich
>she leaves at 1pm
>do some exercices on the elliptic thing
>shower
>on my laptop since then
probably going to eat something and then play Day of Defeat source
>"OMG Rachel I just saw Anon's dick today and he was UNCUT!"
>EWWWWW Stacy that's so gross hahaha no wonder he's a virgin!"
Is this a meme or a real life thing OP?
>>27199888
For americucks it is.
>>27199888
purely a meme
Works on a 1/10 scale
If it's above 10, you're a Chad God
Does heavy petting count as sex?
>tfw borderline retarded
>tfw bad at math
>tfw couldn't solve the equation even if I had sexual partners to count
End my suffering.
what's 0 divided by 3
hey femanon, wanna come and play hide and seek with us? ;)
N...no thanks. I'm going to go play Scribblenauts but you guys have fun..
Are they the same guy?
i'm incapable of finding guys with this style attractive
Who else has an /ugly girl fetish/ here?
>don't find blond bimbos attractive
>prefer small breasts
>only have disgust for stacys
>see four-eyed, thick, womanlet with buck teeth
>think she's cute and want snuggle with her
>see skinny asian skeleton with no ass and huge nose
>think she's cute
>attracted to disfigured, diseased, bad skin females in general
>am low tier chad (in appearance only...)
What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm calling it fetish because I don't know what else to call it.
>>27199500
Same here bro.
An ugly girl with a nice body is like a kinder. Love that shit.
>>27199500
It's not a fetish, it's low self esteem. I used to be the same way.
>ywn have a disfigured, shy gf
why was even born
4chan feels thread?
>Create a reaction image
>Since it's named it's at the bottom of the folder
>End up never using it
>>27199363
>refused to say good night to puppers
>couldn't sleep all night long
>>27199448
you know how many threads ill willfully ignored over the past 10 years with some variation of "POST HERE OR SOMETHING TERRIBLE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU OR YOUR MOM"?
I always felt like posting in those threads was like giving into superstition. Like if I posted in them it would be a kind of personal failing for being easily scared or gullible enough to be told what to do. Not to mention it encourages /b/-style shitposting which is a big reason why I jumped ship to from /b/ to r9k way back in 08.
>try to become le popular tripfag
>completely irrelevant
>Everytime I make post "filtered"
Post things that normies have told you or things that normies typically say that irritate you
Starting with today's normie
>how come you don't have a fb?
>I used to but I deleted it, got bored of it
>haha, "got bored of chicks hitting on me"
normies really don't realize not everyone is like them, huh
>>27199276
Thanks Lori
Why didn't bill delete the post himself? It's on his page
>oh man, I haven't had sex in two fucking months, just kill me
>>27199276
Holy shit...that pic..those people
anon I'm asking you as a friend and a mentor to delete this pic
chart thread
get in here friendos
rate and comment on each other
template below
here it be, don't let the thread die
>another le post a chart in hopes of finding a fembot whom finds me appealing :^) thread
>>>/soc/
>>27199253
just like Eric Roberts or whatever his name is, I am here
God DAMN it guys, you were fucking right. I'm giving up women forever.
>Try to break out of robot-dom
>Actually go to after-work drinks, liquid courage lets me say stuff to girls without mumbling or stuttering.
>After several months, acquire a girlfriend.
>6/10, nothing amazing, but nothing horrible either.
>Until I got to deal with her personality on a regular basis.
>Clingy, needy, whiny. All the fucking time.
>Constantly gives me a hard time about fapping.
>"Oh, what? Is it internalized misogyny? Why can't we just sleep together?"
>It's always "Sleep together", never "fuck". I don't know why she says that, there's no sleeping involved.
>When I mentioned that to her, she just looked at me weird and stormed off.
>And she's completely insane about porn. She gets mad if I watch it. Unless she sends me a video, and then she gets mad if I DON'T watch it. And she'll fucking quiz me to make sure I did.
Honestly, why are all women so insane?
>normie problems
Stop being fucking retarded. Watch porn and fap when she's not around. Use an incognito tab or delete the history. If you save porn then hide the files somewhere she'll never look. God damn how is this even an issue.
What the fuck do you want me to tell you? Wow I feel so bad for you, your life must really suck
Wait, are you saying you'd rather fap than fuck her?
What makes masculinity "toxic"?
there is honestly some merit to the whole "toxic masculinity" thing
it's bad for young men to be told they're not men if they act a certain way, they need to "man up", "grow a pair", stop being a pussy, etc.
>>27199059
can someone plz tell me what this is
>>27199059
Absolutely nothing if you're channeling it into the right areas
>>27199223
That's doing it wrong
post your face while doing a school shooting
>mfw
>killing normies with my brain
Only if I get to bring a friend
>mfw im providing census information to whoever wants to know how many people are going to post ITT and what type of reaction we're going to have
how do you deal with the chronic headaches from sitting in front of a monitor all day everyday?
I never get headaches. You are probably very stressed. The only cure is either aleve or to relax yourself.
>>27198952
I usually do a nice fat shot of ultra-jet
I just tough through them and hope I don't have a brain tumor.
I also have a toothache in the back right corner of my lower jaw, and it isn't going away. I don't have dental insurance so any operation I might need is coming out of my pocketbook.
So here's one for "fembots".
I got a thumblerian gf recently and it's going a bit too perfect, which scared the fuck out of me... cause every good action has an equal bad reaction.
And there it was!
>"Anon, can I give you a... lil nickname?"
"Umm... sure, whatever"
>"nah... nevermind... it's too werid"
"You're talking to a guy that jacks on cartoon homos and admins a game server just to force porn animation on slut texture patched npc"
>"No. You won't like it"
"Spit it the fuck out"
>She takes out her phone and starts listing tons of generic justwoqhdiqsxcqipuethings pics... pointing at the section of text reading 'DADDY'
>She's 4 y younger than me teen (legal)
>Word 'Daddy' isn't even a part of our language
Should I be worried?
>>27198753
Do you want to be dominant over her, have to do all of the work while she rolls around giggling like a baby, and etc.?
Then you should probably be worried.
>>27198753
If you're in a relationship where you openly talk about jacking it to gay hentai, I don't think you're in any position to get judgmental about her having a daddy fetish.
>>27198808
Pretty much OP, listen to this guy.
>be on local chat online
>girl out of nowhere offers sex for me
>personally thought it was a scam so I asked for a lot of things
>he even accepted me on fb and gave me number
>offered to pay motel and to go for me in her car
>she was this desperate because her husband wasn't at home and she's a hot horny bitch
>finally will get sex with this hot milf
>she said I really expect you're not one of those guys that cum out of a simple blowjob and give me a good time
Well have to decline the offer. This was 6 month ago I still think about her
>tfw not one of those guys and give a great time to mygf
>>27198739
>Well have to decline the offer.
The fuck is wrong with you? At worst, you get a free blowjob and then leave. What is she going to do, tell everyone that the guy she cheated on her husband with wasn't that good at sex? You literally had no way of losing in that scenario, unless the husband walked in on you two.
dude you're really a noob at that aren't you? if you think you're gonna cum fast you jerk off once or twice, hell even four times, after that you'll last an hour and she'll be freaking out
Are any robots actually content with their position in life? Most robots seem to be failed normies since all they do is whine about not having sex and not having friends. I haven't had a true friend in over 6 years, am a khv, don't try to speak to skanks, and don't socialize at school/work at all. The best part is that I feel great and see many normies that suffer in their daily life. I spend my time browsing the web, reading, meditating, and birdwatching when I am at home. Get in here, positive robots.
How the hell do you feel great? I'm almost the same as you and hate my life with passion. I feel constantly empty and just a dull pain of loneliness in the background. There's no way to escape this shit even with the escapism I do (browsing, alcohol, etc).
How do I know it will actually do the sick loop-da-loop and not fall over or stall half-way there?
>>27198814
you miss I00% of the chances you dont take
