Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4238. page
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>come home today
>dad is waiting for me
>he has my 10 inch monster dildo on the table
>he asks me to explain this
>panicking
>say "Sorry dad, I brought a girl home in the middle of the night and yeah..."
>he looks at me very unstintingly for a little bit
>he finally says "tell your girls to take their filth home with them"
>say "y-yes sir" and take it and leave
Do you think he bought it?
>>27630367
So what youre saying is you shove the dildo in your own ass?
>>27630402
No he shoves it in his boipucci, huge difference
He's lying to himself so he doesn't have to live with the fact that his son is a degenerate failure.
today, after my gf told me she was really sick and throwing up, i told her to "keep your chin up and keep shaking your tits"
she broke up with me.
she never heard the phrase, i said. " you know, its like 'keep shakin ya dick'"
>Woman thinks a relationship is not going well
>Instantly abandons ship and hops onto the next one
>Man thinks that a relationship is not going well
>Tries to make it work at all cost
Why do we support women's rights?
why did you think this warranted making a thread
>>27630336
I'd be pissed too if my boyfriend made a stupid aspie joke like that if I was feeling incredibly sick and throwing up.
Anyone here have beards?
Beards are for betas.
Anyone here have beards?
Yes
not that good looking tho
Yes I have a collection of multiple beards
>borrow pen from a girl in my class
>the smell like farts
>>27630311
In school, we had this public work station thing where you could get scrap paper, pens, markers, etc. The big markers always smelled like rotten chicken/fish and I didn't realize why until I got older.
>>27630355
Was your teacher hot?
>>27630355
I would have sucked on them
who can cook here
what do you cook
is it a quality that is seen as mature/sexy
>who can cook here
Me, kind of
>what do you cook
Noodle dishes, chicken kiev, pastas
>is it a quality that is seen as mature/sexy
Yes
>>27630215
I cook just about everything I eat. I make really bland food, fuck taste. Food is a nuisance and a necessity, and I wish I could consume a few super foods a day and maintain my weight and health.
>>27630215
>tried to do spaghetti
>took me 1 hour
>absolutely disgusting taste
It makes me so mad, I genuinely feel like a fucking idiot, this is such a basic mundane task, but I still can't do it.
>that fat kid who was more of a vidya addict than you got a girlfriend out of nowhere
>that borderline retarded and annoying kid got a girlfriend out of nowhere
>that kid had his face completely fucking covered in acne got a girlfriend out of nowhere
>that kid who had no concrete interests and hobbies got a girlfriend out of nowhere
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? AM I SOMEHOW WORSE THAN THOSE KIDS?
WHY WON'T SOMEONE ACTUALLY FUCKING TELL ME MY PROBLEM INSTEAD OF SUGARCOATING EVERYTHING THEY SAY TO ME?
>>27630201
Maybe it's because they spend their time talking to girls, meeting new people, and being interesting. You spend your time being a judgy weirdo.
>>27630201
It's a numbers game. If they're available by just simply being outside and you aren't (because you are in your room), then they have a higher chance of succeeding.
>>27630201
you don't want a gf that's literally the only possible answer. "problems" don't mean anything everyone has them and you're not special.
Parents just served me eviction papers I have to leave in 15 days. I have nowhere to go, no money, no job, no phone, no car, a high school diploma, and a couple nice shirts. Gonna have to drop out of college too saying I won't be able to make it. I can't believe this is happening. I really would like to talk to someone.
>>27630126
Why are they evicting you anon?
Where are you located op? I have two open rooms that won't be filled until summer.
>>27630126
Get a p.o box op
homeless is bad, but you will have an address for jobs
use your begging money to obtain one
How do I get a white boyfriend that likes to master/slave roleplay?
Race and gender?
>>27629934
This bloxy blox
>>27629911
Can you read me Mein Kampf every night and be my big spoon?
So if Hila is the Queen of /r9k/, doesn't that make you all cucked by Ethan?
Hypocritical much?
>>27629859
>Jewess
>queen of anything
No.
i love le h3z1 man
show the bradberry saying his name again hehe that's always good for a laugh
>>27629874
It's undisputed, there was a poll. Speaking of polls, fuck of back to /pol/ racist.
When did you realize even the lowest of males such as Eggman have more talent than Stacey ever will? Why are women so inferior?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnJXlMJmk6w
Women are inferior because the only things they are good at are making babies and being fucked. Oh, and working in the kitchen.
In all seriousness, that rap was amazingly good. The verse about the portrayal of modern rappers was spot-on.
>"Mr. big chains, mr. new car, cool dude / he says he's a murderer, plus he sells drugs too / don't you want to be real like him, real rich too / end up as a private prison asset to a rich jew?"
>>27629884
>that
>good
You're being ironic right?
>Finally got a gf and she wants to meet friends
My friends are literally
>Personification of /v/ in real life. Angry and pissed off all of the time, racist and uses the terms "faggot" and "retard" super often
>Fat slob with literally zero hygiene and 250% too much confidence. Disgusting and revolting to even look at. Loud, obnoxious, thinks he's hilarious and god's gift to women. Says misogynist and perverted shit all the time. Will 100% try to bang her within first 3 minutes of meeting her.
>Handsome but has an IQ of like 59. Like really fucking stupid. Oblivious to social norms and shit, brutally honest all the time with zero provocations. Really politically right wing, thinks all muslims should die and has a simplistic archaic view of christianity. Has started to wear "make america great again" hats
How the fuck do I introduce my pic related to literally the worst people in the world?
just for clarification each > is a different person, I'm describing 3 different arseholes
Don't? Dump your friends and get new ones, they sound horrible. I'd be embarrassed to even be associated to people like that
>I'd be embarrassed to even be associated to people like that
Yet you're on /r9k/.
Who /doesnthatewomen/ here?
>>27629600
Reporting in.
I don't hate them; merely their behavior.
>>27629618
>implying people aren't defined by their actions
I can say that I don't hate all women.
>tfw incredibly brilliant (MIT graduate, 170 IQ)
>tfw too self-aware to stave off depression
What do you do when you realize your life and the world around you is objectively shit? Drinking helps me ignore reality, but the deleterious physical effects aren't worth it.
>>27629150
Basically just listen to Bladee all day.
>>27629150
>""""Brilliant""""
Real brilliant people achieve things and change the world. If you arent doing shit you arent brilliant
If you were truly smart you would be able to overcome your depression
>>27629210
t. bitter, parroting 110 IQ memeist
Chad wakes up at 2 in the afternoon, checks his phone and sees 5 new Snapchat notifications. All of them are nudes from different girls. Did "lifting" earn him that? Did those girls choose him because they liked his "increased confidence" which he got from NOT MASTURBATING?
FUCK NO. Chad doesn't even THINK about that "self improvement" bullshit, yet women WORSHIP him. Why? ALPHA GENETICS. That's literally IT. Nothing else, no "confidence", no "correct body language", fucking GENETICS. He was BORN to be SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So no, you can't "improve yourself" enough to "become chad", because you CAN'T IMPROVE GENETICS.
>>27629108
>CAN'T IMPROVE GENETICS.
What is Crispr/Cas9, OP?
>>27629108
Who ever heard of an average looking guy getting a hot wife?
Chad doesn't have Snapchat. He has no use for it.
Okay robots I know you do drugs, so help me out a little. My weed guy just told me he's selling shrooms and acid but I've never bought either before and I'm not sure how much it should be going for. I don't want to get ripped off so what's the usual price for them? I assume the shrooms are priced by weight but the acid is probably by the sheet right? Also how much do you think I'd need for three people to all trip? I want to surprise my buddy for his birthday.
$40 for a 1/4 oz of mushrooms. Acid is anyone's guess, but it's fun enough to pay like $10 for a tab
no, im pure. Walk in the light
>>27629129
I didn't answer your other question, an 1/8th is a low but acceptable dose for shrooms. You have to get over the threshold or it will do nothing. Lasts 10 hours or so.
I don't really know enough about acid, I've had really strong and really weak tabs. Shouldn't take more than 2 per person though.
