Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7369. page
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>meet qt girl
>tells me she likes me
>tell her I'm a NEET on NEETbux and pretty much a failure
>she tells me she doesn't mind
>I'm too beta to pursue a relationship with her when I'm already on a dead-end in life
Those smug NEET threads aren't a true representation of NEETs.
calling her qt doesn't make it true
you're just a narcisist. and afriad to admit the truth which is that you are afraid to disappoint her so you would rather just live with the fantasy of how you totally could have gotten into a relatioship with that totally cute girl who totally liked you.
>>25038286
She's pretty cute. Not too intelligent and from a poor background, so isn't materialistic.
>>25038311
I'm afraid I have little to offer her, both financially and.. well, every other possible way. Hurts, man.
Sorry for bad language. How does sex feel like? I'd like to know how it feels to have my penis in a vagina before dying. Not much time too bad.
>>25038242
>How does sex feel like?
It feels pretty good, thanks for asking.
>>25038343
It feels like a bag of sand.
>>25038242
It feels like you're putting your penis in a vagina.
![[Mezashite] Aikatsu! - 32v2 [720p][57DCF7A8].mkv_snapshot_11.21_[2015.11.02_20.22.33].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/C9gGozV.jpg "[Mezashite] Aikatsu! - 32v2 [720p][57DCF7A8].mkv snapshot 11.21 [2015.11.02 20.22.33]")
tfw bf sends me cute messages in my sleep
ill fuck your bfs throat till it bleeds and he can no longer speak
tfw i send my gf texts in her sleepher eternal sleep
>>25038063
>send a cute girl cute messages in her sleep
>she wants me to be her BF but is holding back for some reason
>cancels plans, and then sends me messages bemoaning not being with meIs this a long-haul cuck scheme?
AWWW SHIT LOOK WHO IT IS THE.............
WHITE GUCCI MANE
>>25038036
BILL COSBY SWEATER
>>25038036
did he start taking roids?
he looks like a cunt even more now
Would you have sex with Adele?
>>25037885
Brother at this point I would have sex with a tranny if she gave me attention and thought my virginity was worth it.
>>25037885
If I'd already lost my virginity then yeah, sure, why the hell not? 10/10 would leak nudes and ruin her career
>>25037885
no she would probably bite off my penis and swallow it if she was hungry enoughand she is always hungry
Corndogs stink unless they have ketchup on them.
high level meming.
>>25037876
Pigs in blankets are better anyway
Gonna use this image for every bait thread from now on
>tfw you could have a cardiac arrest and have a sudden death
>tfw you will not have enough time to turn off your computer
>tfw family starts going through the contents of your pc
why would you care if youre dead
>>25037871
>yank the power cord out
>hit the motherboard and crack it with my dying breath
The only thing I would need to do is delete the /r/foreveralone entries in history and empty the utorrent folder in %appdata%/utorrent because there's a million porn .torrent files in there.
Why else would the people here want GFs so badly?
is that question rethorical?
>>25037861
To an extent but I'm genuinely curious as to what else robots could want?
>>25037805
Probably something to do with being the result of millions of years of procreation.
Strangely, I really don't want a gf so maybe I'm just mentally deranged
Anyone else here think their escapism is getting out of control?
I can't even live with the reality anymore, I avoid mirrors like the plauge and haven't been outside almost a year
Hmm testing
Definitely.
I still go outside to get food, but otherwise nah. I spend most of my day writing degenerate scenarios that will never happen because I want to live in another world as another person. No reason to be in this life.
Used to be like this desu.
I've grown a lot in the past year out of my old ways
Take baby steps
>live with mom
>9yo cousin round one night
>playing some video games with her
>i go to the bathroom for a moment
>i get back and she has her shirt sleeves inside out and her pants down to her ankles
>w-what are you doing, cousin?
>she shows me my phone with one of my hardcore porn videos playing
>she says "they look like they are having fun...shall we take our clothes off and bounce on each other too"
>aunt happens to walks in seeing her daughter in a state of undress
>tfw she gives me the stare of death and takes her daughter away
>mom never babysits again
>tfw not sure if aunt told my mom or she is just avoiding us from now on
The worse thing is not knowing what others think and if she is telling others about me. I didn't explain to her because she never asked. Guys did I mess up? She probably thinks I'm a monster.
>>25037596
You should explain it to them anon.
Then you can baby sit her again and bounce on her.
>>25037631
But I really don't want her silky smooth skin against me.
>>25037660
Then just let them think you're a pedophile.
>you will never fuck a girl in a westfalia parked on the side of a rainy beach highway to the sound of Ariel Pink
>you will never laugh and eat pastries from a park stand in a snowy Paris at midnight with a girl in a red coat
>you will never lie under a girl with chestnut curls in a hammock on a cool summer morning and then later quietly making breakfast with her to the sound of Ducktails // St. Catherine
>you will never walk with a girl with golden locks on a fall afternoon on old roads to old places
>>25037548
>Girl in a red coat
Piper is here for you in all her awkward glory.
>you will never post out in a wet old air base with lots of weed, cheap alcohol and a girl with a bowl cut who plays a guitar
>walking home from shopping centre
>guy gives me a flyer
>put it in my pocket without reading and forget about it
>get home, put pants in laundry pile
>mom finds the flyer, it's for a PUA bootcamp
>thinks I'm interested in it and buys me one week of classes, doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm not interested
>tells me she's going to drive me there this monday
kill me
Take the boot camp then use everything you learn on your mom.
She obv wants the d anyway
show her that documentary on lonely nerds with the autistic PUA in it, and she'll back out of it fast
>>25037381
Go Anon.
Your mother may just save your life.
When did slick-ass robes go out of style? I want to walk around wearing comfy billowing fucking robes 24/7 but everyone will laugh at me.
Will robes ever be back in style?
>>25037182
Just do it, who cares if people laugh at you, you've ascended to the comfort of the Gods
>>25037263
I don't have the confidence to get stared and laughed at constantly for the sake of comfort, unfortunately.
>>25037182
Because nobody likes a draft whirling around their testicles in wintertime.
>go to asian massage parlor
>masseuse starts massaging ankles
>can see on small reflection she is sniffing my feet a lot
>does each foot for 5 minutes
Wtf senpai, idk what to feel. I have a foot fetish though, but not for myself. Idk...
>tfw go to asian massage parlors so much that they gave me a nickname at multiple places
>no happy ending
>>25037137
I think I could've got one if I asked
I just didnt have a boner.
She said we're done, and then waited around for about 1-2minutes before turning on the lights and then leaving. I wasnt covering myself either. If I asked, im sure she wouldve done so.
>Anon, when are you going to get a gf?
>never, mom. Girls don't find me attractive
>that's nonsense! You just need to be confident and go outside more!
When will she get past the denial stage and realize her son is an useless waste of space?
>>25036721
It takes awhile to move through all of the stages of grief. Watch out for the anger stage. That's an ugly one.
>>25036721
she wont.
when will her son get through the weak faggot stage?
>>25036721
>Parents think I'm gay because I don't interact with people
I always found that diagnoses amusing. I mean, aren't gays even more outgoing than straights when it comes to sexuality? I guess it's easier to believe I'm gay than understand I've completely given up
