Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5761. page
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>tfw your cat keeps biting you
Is it female? They're wired to hate robots.
>>26032988
No it's a guy
>>26032977
Goooooooooooooooooooal looool
Hahahahahshshahshshshahhaassssshhhhshshshshahahshahahahahahahha
Fucking cat
Muhahahahhaahhahahahahahahahha
>10 commandments that would make you a better you.
Write 10 commandments which if you implemented into your life and lived by religiously would make you a better person.
>>26032789
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4
1) Don't be a bitch
2) Be sincere in all that you do
3) Live in a way that is respectful and in harmony with nature
4) Thrive in suffering and embrace struggle
5) Do not actively seek out pleasure
6) Learn for the sake of learning and create for the sake of creating
7) Seek to craft your physicality, mentality, and spirituality to their utmost potential
8) Maintain an open mind but bend to no one's will but your own
9) Treasure and appreciate art above all except the beautiful connections between sincere people
10) Do not settle
>>26033024
Good list except for
>5) Do not actively seek out pleasure
Why?
Black people of r9k I need some advice. What are some small things I can do to not be racist? I personally have nothing against black people however I was raised in a very racist household and I think some of it has seeped into my personality despite my best intentions. It's nothing too extreme, just things like whenever I see a black guy working behind a cash register or on the bus or something I notice. My brain quickly categorizes them into a metaphorical "Black People" folder. This folder is separate from the "Regular" People folder, but equal in all other aspects. How do I stop noticing black people and telling myself to "be cool" when talking to them?
get a black girlfriend. that will completely cure your racism.
you see this person every day, shes seen you piss, seen you when youve pooped your pants, youve seen her when she bleeds out her vagina, shes seen you naked.
it would be impossible to hate someone who youre that close to.
>separate
>but equal!!!
HAHAHAHA you're a fucking racist. Deal with it. Same with the retards that say "women and men are different but equal" not they fucking aren't. They fulfill totally different roles and are supposed to COMPLEMENT each other, not MIRROR each other. God fucking damn.
Now for the racist bit, there's nothing a black faggot can do that a white faggot cannot do, being the first to invent something aside (whether it's Tesla and AC/DC, Einstein and E equals mc, or the peanut butter guy and peanut butter). If you are racist in regard to who you're attracted to, who gives a fuck? I'm black and I like white women with medium sized tits. But those are usually sluts, so lately I've developed an attraction to frail-looking white women.
>>26032808
you know that's honestly probably the best advice i'm gonna get on here. I don't mean to be racist but I just don't understand a lot of the culture. Also ive heard that apparently it's offensive when we (white people) try to understand it (or at least act like we do). Idk... its hard to explain. Like i don't want to be racist but I feel like i probably say stupid shit just because I don't know any better
>wife's son does nothing all day but go to the gym and rap with his dumbass friends
>actually thinks he is gonna be a rapper
>hardly even play video games only "zombies with his niggas"
>come home from work and just picked up MKX
>they're all on the couch watching MTV or some shit
>all of them go ayyyyyyy
>yo dats mortal kombat you can rip out niggas eyes and shit
>say they want to play
>want to tell them no since it's rated M but I dont feel like dealing with their monkey shit
>play wife's son plays me first round im sub zero he's jax
>he spams the fuck out of the controller and beats me in the third round
>all of them hollering and screaming like its Halloween
>wife comes downstairs
>they keep telling her how I got roasted
>she is laughing her ass off saying since I play video games all the time I should be able to at least beat him
>her fucking dumb ass son says "aight enough of this nerd shit" and asks wife for keys
>I keep fucking telling her not to let them have the car but she says boys will be boys and need to have fun
>gives them the fucking keys and they laugh out the door
When he turns 18 he is OUT
fuck off step dad, i'd wrap a dumbbell around your head you DYEL fuck.
yeah fuck you, man. the kids are gone you nerd, fuck the shit out of your wife and that should be enough satisfaction. you're fucking his mom.
>>26032937
We're having intimacy issues lately we are working out. Im just trying out combos now
Can any normies or Femanon here give me some advice? I'm in a really hard spot right now.
>I'm in an online game community (TS server, and guild) with some fellow neets and a few normies etc..
>there's a few girl gamers, but they're not too bad, so it's ok
>I really hit it off with one though, we connected on everything, music, lifestyle (neet loser), videogames, etc...
>she's a meme trap though
>she told me she loves me, and I told her I love her. I really do love her too.
>we talk daily about life etc..
>she goes through mood swings because of her hormones though, and sometimes it gets dark
>she tells me shes getting drunk/getting high, wanting to cut, or kill herself
>anything I say to help her just gets ignored, or dodged when I say there's better options
>I can't tell her not to kill herself, because I too want to die
>she tells me she loves me, but literally doesn't even listen to half of what I say, or acts like I'm just hugboxing her
>when she tells me something though, I seriously think, and take her opinion seriously
TL;DR: Trap meme says she loves me, and we usually have a good time being an "online couple", but when she gets in a bad mood, I'm nothing to her.
What the fuck do I do? Or say? I feel fucking terrible if I try and let her cool off, because I worry about her. My anxiety keeps me up all night thinking she's hurting, fuck me.
you dont need to worry because she will never actually kill herself
>>26032590
op this poster is right>>26032603
wasted around a year and half fucking around with a girl like that in high school gotta say easiest pussy i got
yea im a normie (im tolerated not a natural normie.) as much as i can be but my god if im not also a robot.
>>26032590
>My anxiety keeps me up all night thinking she's hurting
She probably is and you probably can't do anything about it. Such is life. Her only real interest in you is the attention you give her. You're basically letting yourself be exploited in a one-sided relationship. Obviously you have low self-esteem, but I doubt this is doing anything to help it, so don't fall into the trap of thinking this parody of a relationship is good for you in some way.
Behold... the male roastie!
>>26032533
there are penises that look much more disgusting than this one
>>26032533
Most vags are roasties. Most penises don't look like that.
>>26032533
Nah, the male roastie is a cutfag.
How would i go about getting a pity fuck? Im thinking a new age stacy (18-27) wouldnt give me the light of day, just like they have up till now. Would a good looking milf 35+ pity fuck me i present myself and conditions right?
Anyone ever had a pity fuck before?
Said in another thread like an hour ago but yeah, my older milf supervisor pretty much pity fucked me.
>>26032501
Bumping out of sympathy and interest because I've wondered about the same before.
>>26032552
Nice, how did that even come up?
who else /shitpostingenthusiast/ here?
>got drunk yesterday
>don't remember most of it
>woke up with insane hangover
>look at 11hrs of browser and event history
>apparently i felt some waves of creativity
>spammed /r9k/, /x/, and /mu/ with idiotic comments
>got in a huge internet fight with some dude from a baltic state while roleplaying a slav (im strayan)
>have a dozen pictures of unknown people saved on my harddrive
>wrote a longass greentext story about tf no gf, butchered it in half and posted the wall of nonsense
>created at least 16 threads, 9 of them in /r9k/
>one had 300+ replies, rest 5-10
>"sang" a song for /mu/
>got globally muted for saying "ayy lmao" in an /x/ magick bullshit thread
>made a screenshot of ban page and named it "proud.jpg"
>even tried to camwhore
>again don't remember almost anything of it
>mfw I'm a wereshitposter
>>26032431
That would be the best night of my life
>>26032431
Say buddy, I thought I told you not to come on this site anymore.
>>26032431
lol
what all did you do on /x/? i didn't notice anything stupider than usual
Is there anything you feel nostalgic for, /r9k/?
>>26032365
Bondage Fairies
>>26032401
Seconded.
YOU ARE NOW REMEMBERING UNCLE MOLE
>>26032365
Happiness... I miss that.
thankfully i still look good
and not fat
food is life
>>26032241
Okay now just how in the fuck did you make an omega symbol
>>26032279
pasted
That's a good feel OP
One of the happiest feelings I get is when I eat something super tasty.
Its one of the motivators to find a job, so I can get tasty food when I want it and how I want it.
What's the easiest way to give yourself cancer?I just want it so people can start caring about me and congratulate me if a beat it and mourn for me if I lose.I just want to feel cared about
>>26032180
Just keep posting here, /r9k/ is 100% pure cancer
i hear smoking does the trick
>>26032209
Only after 30-40 years.
Working as a miner would truly do the trick.
Are cyborgs still allowed on /r9k/?
>playing video games, off today and tomorrow, work 2nd shift in fast food
I have nothing to do in my free time really. Anyone else got similar feels right now?
Cyborgs aren't real m8.
Anyone claiming to be a cyborg is just a normalfag with a special snowflake complex.
Fuck off.
>>26032143
Why are you upset?
>>26032143
Cyborgs exist in a social purgatory.
Too normal for /r9k/
Too /r9k/ for normies
They fit in nowhere.
>no need to have kids
>no need to give in to others
>no stupid couple arguements
>freedom to do whatever you want
>no need to give up hobbies to spend more time with family
>financially well to do
>actually spend money you earn on yourself
some of us have moved passed the denial stage
>you get to not share your life with someone who you adore
>you get to die alone probably by suicide
>you get to be reminded constantly how unwanted you are
>you get to have pings of agony every time you see a happy couple
>you get to miss out on a fundamental part of the human experience
>you get to die without finding true happiness
I tried
>>26031873
That's not denial, I'd say that's acceptance.
Anything to be done about this, or is it a losing battle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X2dCkOI6LY
>>26031615
doug stanhope <3
>>26031615
I'm 22 and I feel as if there's nothing to look forward to in this life. My dreams are out of reach, and the angry, intrusive thoughts continue.
Maybe suicide was always the best choice ; It just takes us a while to realize it.
>>26031664
>I'm 22 and my dreams are out of reach
Unless they're professional athlete or astronaut they're probably not.
What are they out of interest?
If women don't torture themselves with daily face painting rituals and inconvenient, uncomfortable clothing to attract men, how else does it benefit them?
to attract Chad. also she looks fine without makeup.
>>26031494
Correction: She looks better without makeup
And yes, everything they do is for Chad, thought they'll never admit it.
Some women do it because it is the social norm, but there are pretty notable women who are into makeup as an art form. If you look for youtube tutorials for instance, there are a lot of them that talk about how to create different effects.
I know a few girls who do this as a hobby and they are able to make some really crazy effects happen on their faces. They can make the topography of their face look completely different. One of them is getting a PhD in something or other involving optical illusions and says she mentions makeup a lot in her thesis.
