Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5746. page
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>turning 25 soon
>just now finally getting my life back on track again from being a NEET by building a few websites
>still living with mom who hates me
>virgin and not even the prospect of a gf
who else /latestart/ here? What are you doing about it?
You know the quote - your chapter 1 to other people's chapter 20.
I'm 25 and moved out of my mom's at 24. As a child and teen, I told myself I'd do it by 18. Graduated college, but took a year or so more than needed, due to two missed semesters. Had to get a job to finish. Real life came into focus. We accomplish things when we accomplish them. No need to rush.
Now at 25, a college grad, professional making 40k, I'm doing pretty good. But I realize that in all likelihood I ain't living to 100. I don't want to, but already my life is at least 25% over if I did. Enjoy it and go with it as is, not as you think it should be. Because by time you get everything you feel you need, well, who am I lecturing? We're both figuring this shit out.
I'm glad you're making progress. Just don't feel obliged to do too much.
>>26050638
How'd you get your inspiration for websites?
I have the skills, but I can never think of a website that would
A. Keep me interested enough to update
B. Guaranteed to get me plentiful googlebux
Turning 26 soon and I have no job prospects and no gf prospects.
I'd kill myself if I thought I could go through with it.
How many piss bottles do you guys keep in your bedroom?
I have piss pouches. Seriously. They keep you warm in bed.
NEET here, I never piss in bottles cuz the bathroom is 2 feet away
Is there something wrong with me? My piss bottles are fucking orange not clear like that.
> Boyfriend and I live together
> One day We come home to two black guys robbing the place.
> They force us at gun point to perform oral sex on them.
> They record it and tell us to not to go the cops.
> Of course we do. Although we don't tell them that my boyfriend was forced as well.
> Police never find the guys.
> The police suggested that we go to therapy.
> My boyfriend goes for two month and "Is over it."
> It takes me about 8.
> Around that time my boyfriend comes out a trans.
>>26050613
This is why you should get an alarm system.
>>26050613
> Boyfriend
Fuck off normie I'm glad it happened
>>26050613
>not having your own gun and making dead nignog stew
Now you sucked off a nigger and your bf is a fairy
Hey /r9k/, check your dick.
Do you have pearly penile papules?
What is pearly penile papules?
The papules appear as one or several rows of small, pearly or flesh-colored, smooth, dome-topped bumps situated circumferentially around the corona or sulcus of the glans.
Also called hirsuties coronae glandis they are sometimes described as vestigial remnants of penile spines
You heard right, humans once had spikey dicks
Do be scared if you have them
Embrace your spikes
Reminder they are on your bulb
So the circumcised have them too
>>26050132
But theyre designed to make it harder to pullout (not that anyone here would be affected)
who
/mutantdick/ here
this is what happens when you're cut and jack off with calluses on your hands
You faggots lied to me, this film was terrible
I want my 2 hours back.
What are some non-retarded movie suggestions?
If you hated that you'll like Only God Forgives
>>26049981
Guess you don't belong here. Now go to your mother's drawer and pull that pink dildo out and cram it up your boipussy. Then I want you to take her lover's toothbrush and stick it down your boi clitty. Ok.
>implying drive is bad
hello redit
>tfw no daughter
>wanting a daughter instead of a son
I couldn't stand to watch her surrender to the cock carousel raising her in this culture
>>26049982
>implying she would have to ever be on anyone's cock except your own
>wanting a kid
>adding another human to experience shit
>having to organize your life around it, put up with its shit, never having free time and wasting money on him
Yea no.
Hey robots it would really cool if you guys could recommend me some music, it could be really anything but i'm mainly looking for some new electronic music
Thanks in advance <3
>>/mu/
They would probably be of better help than a bunch of sad people and edgy teenagers
>>26049816
I kinda wanna see what /r9k/ has to offer, probably right though
I'm listening to some Venetian Snares right now, he's pretty good. Have this somewhat outdated flowchart.
Pretend this thread is an episode of the big bang theory.
I'll start.
Scene is in the college cafeteria
Sheldon: So Leonard, do you know about that /r9k/ board? I think i've finally found out what a "beta orbiter" is. So what does it feel like to be one?
*LAUGH TRACK*
Bazingobazoingo
sure thing bro
*changes to another thread*
>I play video games
*LAUGH TRACK*
try to find a flaw
you can't
too big to fuck
probably smelly
>>26067659
That would kill me in reality. Dying is not sexy to me.
>>26067719
no it wouldn't, you'd be under her sole forever and wouldn't die. you'd feel pain but not die.
>What's the matter, anon?
>You look like wanna kiss me...hehe
Well?
sure why not the girl isn't ugly
D-do you...?
How does one even kiss? Is it just touching of the lips?
Normie lurkers help please
>4 am, right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddi left to buy tendies (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown log in my XXL diaper (i'm mummys big boy, she always says that :))
>i lay in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many GBP await me for not waking her up!!
Tbh family you can probably get extra gbp if you blackmail her for molestation
>>26049653
I don't think she's waking up, mate.
This meme died a while ago.
who /mischief/ here?
>go into companies
>drop USB sticks around the office with 'confidential' written on them
>people plug them into their computers
>automatically installs viruses and spyware onto their computers
>>26049581
>not filling them with CP
It's almost like you've never exploded a van before.
>>26049581
>go into public toilets
>write my friend's number on the walls
>"call for hot gay sex"
>teehee
I also occasionally just write "bum".
>>26049581
maybe that worked in 2004 but literally every place i've worked in has strict no outside USB devices rule and the IT guys are notified immediately of any device being plugged in.
Tell me extreme feminism only exists on the internet. That's all I wanna know.
>>26048882
And college campuses. I've never actually met one though.
It exists in real life because some guys are just to pussy to act like men.
>>26048899
But nobody has to accept their crazy ideologies right?
So I'm having some issues with my father. I'm 20, he's 55 and I'm starting to notice he's acting a bit strange.
He does things like walk in on me showering and tries to strike up a conversation while just staring at me. He comes in my room while I sleep and moves my stuff around, one time he even layed in bed next to me all while I was pretending to sleep.
It has come to the point that I have to lock myself into rooms just to avoid these silly and meaningless interactions. We talk often and spend time together atleast once a week so I dont know what his problem is. He's always been very overprotective of me when I was a baby/kid. The fucker literaly chewed my food for me and fed it to me at one point.
how do I stop my creep of a father from intruding on my privacy senpai?
>>26048821
Get the fuck out of your house. Leave the nest.
>>26048821
sounds like he simply loves you
winsect. embrace your dad and take it to the next level desu
Last night you managed to get lucky and have sex with middle girl in pic related.
As you approach her and her friends you over hear:
>"And, he had the TINIEST dick"
>"Omg...here he comes"
What do you ACTUALLY do?
>Yeah, hers was bigger.
Start jacking off right there and shit and vomit and shoot each of my toes off
I grab the wine glass from her hand and break it.
I immediately slash the throat of her friend on the right. The degenerate whore clutches her throat in agony, realizing she's breathed her last breath.
I punch the shitskin bitch on the left, then chop off the tits of the whore I slept with.
