Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7929. page
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>tfw too lazy to do anything but cook, drink coffee and go to gym. All I do besides that is watch shows and browse 4chan / youtube.
Been this way for over a year now. Lost interest in vidya and other stuff I used to do. Parents pushing my to go back to school and get job.
>>24694431
What's the point if lifting if you're a shut in NEET
>>24694488
gains
good 4 u gotta get those GAINS
>be american
>see shooting
>go on twitter and spend the rest of the day arguing gun control with retarded rednecks
>wake up
>new shooting
>get on twitter and start up again
this country is shit. where should I move to
why do you think the shooters start shooting?
your turn is next OP
>>24694425
Go to Canada if you hate shootings so much. They're like a nation-wide event now. I don't know what we would do without them.
>>24694425
>supporting gun control
You were never American in the first place.
>been jerking off all day instead of putting out resumes for a job
>I interviewed for a job at some college a month ago, haven't put out any resumes or anything since
>mid-orgasm got a call with a job offer
>talking to HR guy with cum dripping down my leg
Putting all my eggs in one basket paid off again. Neat.
>tfw life rewards you for being a fucking piece of shit
wow the luck is real
>>24694361
Wahey, well done. What's the position?
What do you guys think of them in general?
>>24694312
I like them, but only if they have curly hair.
>>24694326
vvoah
My least favorite and are usually sluts. They also age the worst from what I seen.
Fellow robots, how do you feel about human cloning? I think it would be kind of cool to clone myself and raise my clone as my son.
I don't think I'll ever see myself dating today's generation of women and spreading my legacy the natural way. So why not do it artificially?
>>24694310
>clone self
>raise it as a girl
>it becomes tranny
>fuck myself in my inverted penis
Cloning is the future.
>>24694355
I hope you get help famo
>>24694420
My therapist told me it's a healthy fantasy.
Top or bottom
i'd rather fuck a real girl then jerk off to an anime one which is essentially the options you're giving me.
I don't find catgirls attractive
Let me fuck real girl while looking at 2d girl
just found out i'm 5'4". what do i do now? i always thought i was 5'5"
>>24694296
Nothing. Being 5'4 in comparison to being 5'5 isn't really even that much of a difference. People will find you equally unattractive for being 5'4 as they would if you were 5'5. Learn to deal with the deck you were given and live your life.
>>24694378
it's just knowing that i'm that short kills me.
>always thought i was 5'11"
>am actually 5'10"
I was living a lie all this time.
I am no longer the man i used to be. I am something less.
Has anyone seen this movie? It's about a depressed robot who meets an insane femanon online and slowly descends into madness.
Link to full movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSCxTaKypaQ
I love this scene
>>24694284
It pissed me off so much. The kid who dies is a successful, moody prick. Not saying the story was unlikely but the media kept talking about it like all youths who attempt suicide are like that/do it for dumb attention-seeking reasons.
>>24694284
Honestly I liked it, very interesting movie overall, also the main character is pretty much a robot.
What are you delaying your suicide for, /r9k/? For me, it's the new series of Samurai Muthafuckin' Jack that's just been announced. Looks like I'll be here until 2016 at least.
>>24694274
You aren't suicidal, faggot.
>>24694445
He would be if samurai jack wasn't around though. He vanquishes the aku within us all, that brave nip.
My fish just spawned some fry if i die they will all die.
>Dyes hair
>Likes cats
>Listens to the radio
>Smokes weed
>Has more than 5 close friends
>Has more than 30 pictures of herself on any social media
>Likes hot weather
>Buys fake designer bags
>Watches any reality show
>Runs on treadmills instead of outside
>Buys furniture from Ikea
>Shops at Forever 21 or H&M
>Has chipped nail polish on hands or feet ever
>Netflix is a hobby
>Drinks coffee every day
Post 'em!
>call themselves random
>Likes to "go on adventures"
>Wears a baseball cap
>Has a tattoo of an anchor, butterflies, birds or some other shit in a stupid place like her wrist or ass
>Uses the words "quirky" and "free" to describe herself
>dyes hair
>has more than one facial piercing
>posts whiny and pretentious bullshit on tumblr
>wears flip flops anywhere but the beach or park
>SJW
>frequently posts swimsuit photos on social media
>overweight
>Asian
>removes shoes in public
>intentionally acts stupid to get attention
>eats feces
>plays hockey
>has a high-pitched voice
>go to a small school
>not a lot of language offerings
>my yellow fever demands i learn korea
>assure myself that the difference between a kgf and eternal misery is how many different ways i can ask her how she's doing in her native language
>forced to take korean during office hours with an economics professor who speaks it
>she's a total qt, about early 30s or so
>practice Korean with her once a week
>practice scheduled for today
>roll in and nail the first couple words
>lesson coming to an end
>feeling pretty confident today
>idea of the fucking century pops into my head
>"What if we started meeting twice a week?"
>she says she can do that she thinks it's a good idea
>she says i'm getting more confident, gives me a string of compliments
>fucking bust out in a grin
>we're practically married now
>trying to leave without spilling too much spaghetti
>missionfailed.jpg
>suddenly blurt it out
>couldn't even stop myself
>"Cool so I'm come by your office tomorrow morning and practice oral on you."
>oh shit/10
>she doesn't respond immediately
>try to backtrack
>"I mean like conversation haha."
>this makes it worse
>"of course anon what else could there be?"
>"Um well it just sounded like I was asking to you know..."
>"no i don't anon, what were you asking?"
>it's too late, it was always too late
>i've committed to this all you can eat pasta bar
>"It sounded like I was asking to practice a sex act on you, like oral sex haha. Not that I would ever do that."
>she's silent and staring on awestruck
>this train has no brakes
>"U-unless you wanted me to h-haha."
>she doesn't even respond
>i leave without saying a word
fuck r9k, what am i supposed to do here? should i still show up tomorrow...?
Its these stories why I browse here.
>>24694225
This! Lmao kek! XD
i love this place
>tell a genuinely funny, well crafted, succinct joke
>"Anon, stop trying to be funny."
>Chad says 'knock knock,' 'who's there,' 'YOU'RE MOM'
>stacies die laughing and nearly suck his dick right there
you are just not funny
i'm shit tier at social relations, have 0 friends and spend all day playing vidyas
yet when i have to talk to people i can make them laugh without a problem, it's not hard
>>24694240
Fuck off you fucking normie fuck fuck fuck OFFFFFF
>>24694154
A woman walks into a bar; barkeep asks what she would like - "gimme an entendre, and make it a double." So the bartender makes it. And then gives it to her.
Alright, which one of you asshole was it?
probably isis.
can't you americans go on for a year without one of you shooting at least 10 people?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Probably a robot who couldn't bear no gf any longer
>Getting a call from a number you don't recodnize
>>24694060
>not just instantly rejecting it
if it's someone who knows you they'll text and ask why
>>24694060
Been there. Didn't answer.
Am I an autist now? :(
>tfw work tries to call you in on your day off
>and you don't answer
>spend the rest of the day feeling guilty
>boss guilt trips you next day
How do I use escorts? What are the chances of me getting robbed? Ice Cube said on his double platinum 1992 album "The Predator" that you can't trust no bitch, bitch, bitch.
Do condoms even work? I heard theyre meant to protect women and they can get their roast beef sauce all over your groin and infect you that way.
I need to lose my virginity.
Just look for a poorish looking single mom and ask her for a quickie for like 200 dollars
>>24693964
Sex is overrated. Just wait until you find a girl who loves you. It will happen eventually.
>>24693964
Are you 12 years old?
