Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5356. page
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how do i have sex with females
put benin in vagoo
you? you don't. it's just as pointless as you asking where you should go with your friends tonight.
be weird, but confident about it.
become a 'regular' somewhere. (bar, library, evening classes, online chatroom, w.e)
don't try to fuck anyone. wait until a girl shows interest in you.
pretend not to be interested.
smile a lot. laugh a lot.
wait for them to come to you.
this is how to form a loving relationship. not confident enough? back when i had social anxiety:
get tipsy/semi drunk, not hammered
find online chatroom
find a girl who lives a few miles outside of your area
lie to her. pretend to be happy, funny, confident and wealthy
arrange to meet at hotel
insert penis until she realises you're a fraud
both work. the second method works but is retarded and you'll die alone. only use when you're still learning.
or get a hooker.
Is this guy one of us robots? He reminds me of what you faggots might be like IRL if you had unlimited money
>>26441533
How old is the guy? He looks 15
>>26441533
He's actually an alright guy, much less sociopathic than 90% of robots.
Watch in order:
http://www.vice.com/video/drinking-wine-and-playing-chess-at-martin-shkrelis-midtown-apartment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTNOWSKMS10&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPIQ_gyiHag&feature=youtu.beFuck the spam filter
>>26441533
Not an American, can someone explain the situation and who this guy is?
>one chance at life
>born with low intelligence
people have always told me that im extremely smart
but my inability to do anything right seems to contradict that
t. C- student
The worst part about being retarded is looking like a stereotypical "nerd" so everyone thinks you're smart.
Whole family tells me,im smart and will do well in life. I can barely keep a job and sea level grades. Hopefully they weren't talking me lies.
Why is suicide considered an irrational act?
Because it's a cowardly, selfish, and devastating escape from temporary problems.
The vast majority of people, normal or not, cannot fathom why someone would want to end it.
Imagining a life where nothing brings you happiness or any sort of fulfillment just isn't something they can do.
>>26441496
All my favorite meme answers in one shitpost
>Tfw Jury Duty next month
>Just turned 19
Fuck guys what do I expect?
I've never done that before.
i'm 19 too, when i got called for jury duty i just waited until the day of and they had me call a number, it told me i wouldn't be needed. chances are it won't be a big deal for you.
>>26441443
20 and same. Both sides get to veto some of the jury pool, and younguns are normally left out because if the defendant is young or hurt a young person, there could be a massive bias.
I'm not american and I always thought jury duty seems kind of interesting, atleast murder cases and stuff like that.
ITT: guys being really gay despite having a gf
>trying to get this girl to like me
>her boyfriend sees this as me trying to steal his girl
>should I even have to mention I'm not good with people, especially women?
>anyways, dude ends up saying this
>the-least-threatening-death-threat-ever.png
>not even harassing this chick
>fast-forward, we talk for a bit, see that this dude acts like his gf is a goddess and wants to marry her cause it's his first gf
>tell him that relationships like this typically don't work out
>tell him about my first gf from elementary school, and how she was a skank and kinda fucked with me emotionally and mentally, total perv and wanted my dick badly, was smart enough to tell her I wasn't ready
>she ended up moving in 5th grade, leaving me by myself
>ignores what I say
>blocks me
>>26441441
how's 10th grade going?
I want everyone under 18 to leave this board and never return.
>tfw you try and be friendly with a girl and her close friend bordering on bf threatens you off
How hard is it to get a hot girl?
>>26441272
if your chad its easy
>>26441272
depends, how rich are you?
also that pic is always used in fake escort ads
>>26441272
If you're
>good looking
>tall
>interesting
>not a complete beta in social situations
>displaying appropriate class symbols
It's not that hard to get laid with legit hot girls.
If you aren't fitting the above attributes, it's time to develop yourself. Unless you're totally deformed there's always some way to become desirable.
Getting one to stay with you for a long time is harder because they have so many options and unless you're extremely emotionally resilient and mature you'll treat them in off-putting ways that get them looking for someone better.
Femanons of r9k, can you please make more posts?
I feel like the quality of this board would increase significantly if you did more posting than the shitposting virgins and autists. You don't have to make threads that are gender specific but I think you girls would be less inclined to troll and shitpost all day.
I'm probably gonna so much shit for this, but I don't care. I'd really appreciate it if the girls here created more threads.
>>26441266
everytime we reveal our gender we get called a bunch of names...
can't blame us for concealing our gender
>>26441299
This desu senpai
Also nice dubs
>>26441299
>makes her post all about how she's a female
Fucking roasties I swear to the Lord Jesus Christ, get out of here
Hey robots, so I was casually reading some stuff on the internet about enforcing good behaviors in dogs and found an article explaining how you should not give in to your dog's whining so that they know they cannot have perceived dominance over you.
I had an idea.
What if I was to employ these tactics on my mother.
My mum is nice, but can be exceedingly difficult and get extremely riled up over trivial points of discussion.
I used to give in and act as a slave to her (she doesn't work and I have university to attend so she has no 'busy' excuse).
I first employed my new tactic when I was planning an outing with a couple of friends, she was raising argument about how there would be no one out on the day we were planning (which was exactly why we were going out that night).
when she started acting hysterical without provocation (as she usually does, she may be psychotic) I left her to her raving and found asylum in my room (that I pay my dad for rent to stay in).
She continued to yell through the wall for the next 5 minutes till she gave up and left me in peace, it was satisfying.
I have now used this tactic several times and she's getting more desperate and has begun trying to talk behind my back to my sister and dad, but since I have a very good relationship with my sister (she tells me what mum says about me and I her) and dad ignores her like he generally does now and just focuses on his work, it's useless for her.
So what does /r9k/ think, will things work out and the new order of dominance be established, or will there be a triple murder-suicide next week?
Also, if you have any other questions or inquiries do not be afraid to ask.
>shit in her pillowcase
>leave a signature framing your sister inside wth it
Foolproof
>>26441190
amusing suggestion, but not an option, I have very good relations with my sister and the mutual benefit from that relationship is worth more than creating 'lulz'.
>inb4 wincest
i would suggest you move out asap
ITT: Red Flags for males
>he watches anime and or reads manga
>he has a penis
>he plays video games on his PC
>he posts drake memes
Die goat fuckers
>>26441124
I think the racism is pretty obnoxious, but I can't deny that those Crusaders looked cool as fuck
>>26441124
Islam will dominate the world, Muslims will soon be the majority and we are coming to the west. White people will be around but will have new Islamic values inshallah
>>26441148
>defending the Holy Land from infidels is now racism
Fuck off tumblr
What's the best thing to take to get your dick up? I'm not going to get Viagra or whatever from the doctor as a 20 year old man. There has to be an alternative online that works, right?
>>26441037
Why wouldn't you get viagra if you legitimately have ED?
>>26441037
Aspirin helps with blood flow which makes it easier.
Also eating carrots and various other foods do the same thing
None. I'm 19 and I can't get a hard on unless I wait like a week without masturbating. The best way of getting a proper boner is probably getting real sex, but we wouldn't know about that.
>buy condoms to practice putting them on
>Magnum fits me best
Feels good senpaitachi
>>26440940
>2016
>still uses condoms
>Buy Magnums when a cute girl is working
>Throw them away when I get home because small pepe
>>26440940
Yea, magnum fits me best too senpai.
But I haven't used one in like 3 years, I just pull out.
Taking a survey.
>>26440917
you shouId kiII yourseIf
>>26440917
you should not kill yourself
No, it is an insult to god.
But if you dont like god, go for it.
How do/did you choose your online handle?
Everything I think of sounds like what a retarded thirteen-year-old would use. It seems the best names are those that are short and one word, easy or fun to say, like "moot".
How to be creative?
>>26440866
the one I usually used was too long and I was eating a slice of pizza at the time.
That was 12 years ago...
>>26440866
i don't have any kind of account that requires a handle
Pick two random nouns and put them together.
